Spurrier Finally Realizing His Team Is Mildly Retarded Actually Suspends Players

See this retarded looking hat, it was invented by the Old Ball Sack Coach Himself God Steve Spurrier. You know what wasn’t invented by him? Discipline. Because the “D” word can only mean one thing to Spurrier, and that is it makes him look bad. So far he’s shown he can do that on his own and he sure as hell doesn’t need anyone else’s help. You might remember God Spurrier threatened to quit because two Barney the Dinosaur retards recruits didn’t meet USC academic standards. Then USC told him and rather promptly to suck it. Of course later it was revealed that 84% of his brigade of thugs team was mildly retarded, but to really top things off he actually admitted that not only are they retarded, they are Nell retarded because he has to tell them when to shower.

So maybe…he is seeing himself as a lot of USC alum in this area of the country known as the third layer of hell, Columbia, SC are seeing him and has decided to show the ninja discipline tactics Spurrier style on the QB, Blake “I’m betting he had a mullet in high school” Mitchell & others.

“South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell was one of three players suspended for the opening game against Louisiana-Lafayette for missing summer school classes, an athletics spokesman said Thursday.

Mitchell, tailback Bobby Wallace and cornerback Chris Hail were suspended for the Gamecocks’ home opener Sept. 1, spokesman Steve Fink said. he three players also were suspended from the team’s first two practices this fall for missing classes.

The suspension is the latest setback for the Gamecocks starting quarterback. Mitchell was arrested a year ago and charged with simple assault after a nightclub bouncer told police that Mitchell punched him. The charge was later dropped, but Mitchell sat out for several weeks as Syvelle Newton ran the Gamecocks’ offense.”

Well, it’s a start. I mean it’s Louisiana-(school of typing and knitting)-Lafayette not a powerhouse. Any other coach in the country would have booted Mitchell by now, but not Spurrier because he believes Mitchell is a retarded thug “special” person, besides who else can he blame the loses on? Most of Holtz’s players have been put in jail departed, and Spurrier, like Oliver Stone, has to have someone playing the patsy. The suspending of starters for a meaningless game is apart of the classic Florida Gator mantra that God Spurrier created in Gunsville. So a couple more recruiting classes, several felonies committed to toughen them up, and of course a little luck, Spurrier will bring USC from being a third tier SEC football team all the way up to second tier. I hope the Johnnie Cochran Jr. of USC has several days free, he’s going to need them. If not then I’m sure Steve will leave for another school…or wishes he did when he had the chance.

So I profess on this day 8/24/07.

rDSr