Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Two Alabama Players Plead Guilty, So I’m Betting They are Clear to Play Saturday.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 18, 2007

The court systems in Tuscaloosa are a piece of cake if you play for Alabama. That’s in the Saban Bible. Book ‘I’m the New Bear” Chapter 4 verse 3. Apparently when defensive lineman Brandon Fanney, running back Roy Upchurch and defensive lineman Brandon Deaderick were involved in a little incident back in July, where the Po Po was called and cuffs were used, they knew little if anything would happen to them.

Brandon Fanney pleaded guilty today was hit with a whopping $100.00 fine. Link I’m sure there’s a line of Bammer boosters ready and willing to take of that little hassle for him even though originally he pleaded innocent.

After all according to the police report:

“Subject was told by several employees, including a co-owner, that he would not be allowed entry into the Legacy due to refusal to follow the dress code. Subject continued to trouble the employees and Fanney tried to “assist” Deaderick as he was being arrested. He yelled at officers and wouldn’t cooperate when he was asked to move away

What’s a little assault, obstruction of justice & disorderly conduct charge anyway? This is Alabama football players we’re talking about. I’m sure the Bear is proud of these young men and more proud of Saban right now.


The official Alabama Boosters headquarters.

Then there’s Roy Upchurch, who also pleaded guilty to a disorderly conduct charge, Link he to was hit with a $100.00 fine. More Bammer boosters are emptying out their pockets, and of course I wonder what type of punishment they did or will receive from Saban. My guess it’s the same punishment that cornerback Simeon Castille received, which was some type of super secret ancient Chinese form of punishment.

Let’s not forget about Brandon Deaderick his crime only was resisting arrest, giving a false name to the police and criminal mischief, he applied for the youthful offender status so his records can be sealed. That’s the same as pleading guilty. I’m sure all three of these fine and upstanding (cough BULLSHIT cough) young men will be playing against one of the Tide most hated rivals Tennessee this weekend. The Bible of Saban states in the book titled “Cheat to Win” chapter 7 verse 5 “Only the best players make great law breakers”.

So I profess on this day 10/18/07.

TtT

2 Responses to “Two Alabama Players Plead Guilty, So I’m Betting They are Clear to Play Saturday.”

  1. Joel said

    The Book of “Law of RTR” Chapter 8 goes like this:

    1) In the year of our Bear 2007, a new disciple will lead his charges to the battle field, 2) armed with the knowledge of a healthy 401(k) and full medical coverage for his family provided by the good Lord, 3) and will lead the Tide to even more depths of mediocrity, 4) all the while preparing his boys for an apperance in that year’s Music City Bowl, 4) explaining to the faithful that he wasn’t left with much.

    5) He shall ask the important questions to the media, such as “Who can win with John Parker Wilson as our QB???” 6) He will remind them that He will have a Top 10 recruiting class coming in, 7) bringing them in as the prophet Logan Young proclaimed in the Book of “Crimson Tide Recruiting” 20:04, saying, “May thine pockets be filled with cash and gifts for thy recruits, for credit cards, checks, and money orders can be traced by the evil Fat Man in Orange”. 8) Remembering this, $aban shall tempt young kids with wads of cash, 9) making sure that He does not forget the Brylcreem (A Little Dab’ll Do Ya) so that his follicles do not shift out of place. 10) As a reminder that he is no Longer at LSU and cannot hide behind an excellent recruiting base, He will then leave for Texas A&M, 11) where He can enjoy a $5 million payday, just as another Crimson Tide Apostle. 12) The Bear giveth, and the Bear taketh away. RTR…

  2. [...] folks at YMSWWC really hate ‘em some [...]

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