T.O. Learns That Tears Like Tebow Can be Costly.

It was revealed that the tears of Terrell Owens cost him $769,120 yesterday. Shyam Das an arbitrator ruled against T.O. and the NFL Players Union.

The union disputed the Eagles’ effort to recover $1.725 million of the $2.3 million signing bonus the team paid the wide receiver when it signed him to a seven-year, $48.97 million deal in 2004.

When asked about the ruling Das said:

“I would have given the Eagles franchise the entire $1.725 million but that little bitch Owens starting balling like a baby. Just because I’m a court appointed arbitrator who holds two separate degrees, doesn’t mean I’m heartless.”

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said this month he plans to pay Owens a $3 million roster bonus, so the All-Pro should have some extra cash to pay the Eagles.

“The original roster bonus was $1.5 million but his whining and crying was giving me a headache”

Tony Romo was quoted as saying:

“Great just I need another bitch calling me in the middle of the night and crying on the phone.”

To sum things up:

T.O. says “Get your popcorn ready!”

The NFL says “Get your checkbook ready!”

Disclaimer: As if it were not completely obvious, this article is complete crap and is purely the result of the unbalanced mind of the author. It is a fictional parody, and is not intended to be taken as fact. Neither this posting, those who created it, nor this blog are in anyway affiliated with the Philadelphia Eagles, NFL & T.O.’s cried out tear ducts or any of their staff.

Disclaimer to the first disclaimer: I borrowed some most of the wording for the disclaimer from Lawvol at Gate 21. Since he’s a real lawyer I hope he doesn’t mind.