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Archive for the ‘Alabama Crimson Tide’ Category

It’s the Lane Kiffin Show

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 24, 2009

I did not create this, however it’s funny as hell.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, Tennessee Volunteers, The Lane Kiffin Show | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bama to give up 21 wins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2009

001AlabamaFan

Alabama football will be forced to give up 21 wins from the 2005-07 seasons. Does that really hurt? No, not really. In all 16 athletic programs and 201 athletes were involved in a textbook scam. 

Five players were suspended from the team in 2007 after it was revealed that they used their scholarship benefits to gain free textbooks for other students. Officials were immediately suspicious when athletes decided to pick up any textbooks at all.  However, since the violations allegedly started in 2005, any victory from those three seasons that those players participated in would have to be vacated. The school will also be on the never ending probation for three years and have to pay a fine. 

Vacating wins means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t take back the booster money or tickets sales that those wins generated. The only true way to hurt a school is to take away scholarships, and the NCAA will not be doing that, even though Alabama is a multiple repeat offender. This particular offense is very minor and so is the punishment, even if the NCAA probably wants you to think otherwise. 

Mike Price is celebrating by heading to the strip club…”Roll Tide, right coach?”

“It’s rolling, baby!”

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, cheaters, classless, Fuck Bama, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Aaron Curry is already a superstar in my eyes

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 17, 2009

Yes it’s time for a dreaded feel good post again. Wake Forest linebacker Aaron Curry who is projected to be a top 10 pick has decided to show the rest of us what truly is important in world and that is giving to others who have traveled a lot harder road that him, me or you have traveled. 

Bryson Merriweather of Madison, Ala., was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in 2007, and after several rounds of chemotherapy at St. Jude Childrens Hospital, he thankfully is now in remission. Curry has invited Bryson to accompany him to the upcoming draft in New York. 

“We were acting like he was just taking me on a regular tour around the hospital,” Curry said. “Toward the end we ended up outside tossing each other a football and I just started talking about the draft. 

“He said he had seen it and I was telling him that I had been invited and if he would join me in this experience. So I said, ‘So come to New York with me and get drafted into the NFL.” 

For the record Bryson has been active in his own community by leading bone marrow drives and fundraisers for St. Jude. 

Statistics show that Bryson has a 30 to 40 percent chance of relapse and a cell mutation he has puts him in an even higher risk group. But the lanky Bryson is strong enough now to play sports again. He’s running track this spring and hopes to resume football this fall. 

“It’s just been a blessing to go through this whole experience. It renewed our faith,” said Bryson’s father, Ace Merriweather. “It also shows Bryson’s courage and will to fight through this. He didn’t ask for it, but he’s taken on the challenge. I know he’s going to have a long life ahead of him. 

“Maybe one day we’ll be at the draft inviting somebody.” 

I truly tip my hat to Curry and wish him well. I also pray that Detroit doesn’t draft him thus giving him to opportunity to become a NFL superstar. 

Andre Smith hopes to generate some sympathy and goodwill by introducing the world to his hypothyroidism.

andre-smith

Posted in Aaron Curry, Alabama Crimson Tide, Andre Smith, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Wake Forest | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays: The TGIF Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 20, 2009

ea-tongue1

I know it’s been awhile since I ran a Broken Plays segment. So sue me.

MoonDogSports.com is reporting about how Charles Barkley will star in a golf-themed reality show. This of course cause me to wonder if Barkley will be the first person to bet on the fact that he will get a DUI on a golf cart.

The boys over at the Third Saturday in Blogtober have a new look and an excellent write-up about how the Atlanta Journal Constitution has become something a lot less than journalism.

Ashton Kutcher will try to ruin the game of football by playing a “superstar NFL QB” who trades bodies with some 12 year-old geek. Initial reports have Eli Manning cast as the 12 year old geek. In my opinion Faces of Death had more laughs in it than this pile of shit will ever get.

The Washington Nationals’ prized recruit has been caught lying about his name & age. This falsifying of the birth certificates of Latin-born players is just destroying the credibility of baseball.

Did Dr. Phil just shave his mustache on the left?

Is Baseball worse than pro-wrestling? It is if you believe Jesse “The Body” Ventura and he actually brings up some good points.

“My question is: They’ve now determined 104 baseball players failed their steroid test in 2003 – 104! They indicted Vince McMahon, why aren’t they indicting Bud Selig?”

Yahoo!’s Dan Wetzel agrees with Jesse and even further states that Major League Baseball under Bud Selig might even be steroid friendly than the days of Hulk-a-Mania.

“McMahon, who beat the conspiracy to distribute steroids charges in 1994, actually ran an honest operation compared to Selig. While Hulk Hogan may have claimed he was just “eating his vitamins,” anyone over the age of 12 understood the entire thing was make-believe, just entertainment.

Not Selig. Not baseball. They clung to an illusion they either knew wasn’t true or should’ve known wasn’t true. When confronted repeatedly with facts that the game was a sham, they reacted at a glacial pace.

Selig is so surrounded by yes-men and so comforted by apologists in the media – or organizations willing to suspend anyone who mocks him – that he believes his own lunacy.”

“That Selig.
Son of a bitch is dug in like an Alabama tick.”

Jessie Ventura as “Blain” in Predator.

I’ll admit freely that I’m a fan of the TV show Paranormal State. Now E! has a new take on ghost hunting that involves hot chicks in little IQ and scary places. Welcome to Hot Girls In Scary Places, starring the USC song girls.

“They’re totally scared, and totally believe experiences they’re going through,” says executive producer Gary Auerbach. “They’ll get scared and then be talking about a sorority party coming up. It’s a little bit ‘Scooby Doo’-ish.”

I think Weird Al already used this idea in UHF. I think some paranormal activity might be going in my pants. Quick, I need the USC Song Girls to investigate. (I realize that was crass but it sure is funny)

burnt-bama-hahaha

Regardless of what anyone thinks I was not in Tuscaloosa yesterday!!! I have an alibi, isn’t that right Joel? (wink wink nudge nudge)

My pick for next year’s NBA Slam Dunk contest is David Stern.

sb-david-stern-r

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Ashton Kutcher, Bud Selig, Charles Barkley, cheaters, DAvid Stern, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, NBA, University of Southern Cal, USC, Vince Mcmahon, Washington Nationals, wrestling, WWE | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I blame the ass whooping Utah was putting on Bama when this happened

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 13, 2009

Is that Teddy Bear kidding with the "Rold Tied" on its shirt?

Apparently Billy Bob Bammer is MIA ever since the Tide embarrassed the entire SEC with their lose to Utah, since I’m partly blaming Utah for Billy Bob’s disappearance I suppose I could blame them for the latest Bama fan brawl.

“Hartford Police Chief Ben Berry said 52-year-old Timothy Fowler had held an Alabama football party on Friday and a fight broke out during a card game. Berry said Fowler apparently swung a flashlight at another man, who then punched Fowler’s face in the front yard. Berry said alcohol may have been a factor.”

Classic Alabamian… bringing a flashlight to a fistfight.

I love how they say that alcohol “may” have been a factor…I guess you could say stupidity could have been a factor as well.

My grandma always used to say “The more Bama fans murdering each other the better. Also fuck Florida.” She was a little on violent/senile side.

Alabama, making Ohio look good since 1819!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, SEC Football, Utah Utes | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Broken Plays: Damn it college football season is over edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 9, 2009

This is officially the greatest picture ever to be posted on the web and it comes to us from the Third Saturday in Blogtober and boy do ever have an awesome recruiting update.

Alabama running back Glen Coffee has decided he’s good enough to go but not good enough to picked first and thus by the Lions has decided to go pro.

Just step away! Please!

Brett Favre is talking about retirement AGAIN!

“I’m an emotional guy, and I’m sure people are tired of seeing me get emotional. People would probably say, ‘Oh, here he goes again.’ I think it would just be better for me to just thank the Jets, and I sincerely mean that. It was well worth what I invested. But I’m going to just quietly step away if that’s what happens.’”

If Brett Favre’s retirement was at the center of the Clint Eastwood classic The Unforgiven then I’m sure this line would be said:

“You better bury Brett Favre right! Better not go cuttin’ up, nor otherwise harm no whores. Or I’ll come back and kill every one of you sons-o-bitches.”

Hey Brett, just pop a few vicodin and mull it over.

owens

Great TO thinks he’s a blogger now and has a blog on Yardbarker.

“On Cris Carter’s “shoot ‘em in the head” comment:”All I know is, if I’d been the one who had said that about him, what would everyone have thought?”

Well my answer is… Not much, really. We would have just figured that you were being the same sanctimonious asshole you have always been.

Three of the four spots in this year’s NBA Dunk Contest field have been decided, but the fourth one, will be decided by a vote from the fans. I think Joe Alexander wants your vote.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Brett Favre, coach o, Dallas Cowboys, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, NBA, New York Jets, Tennessee Volunteers, Terrell Owens | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Alabama Crimson Tide All-America Andre Smith has been suspended from the Sugar Bowl

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on December 29, 2008

sabionk4

WTF is Saban doing? You just don’t go and suspend an All-American left tackle like Andre Smith for violating “team rules.” He won the Outland trophy for God’s sake!

“The University of Alabama, the team and the football program are more important than any individual player,” Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban said in a statement Monday. “Every one on our team depends on each other to be responsible, to make good choices and decisions relative to their actions.”

Wait…we win the freaking Fulmer Cup for having the most off season’s arrests and now you want to play Mr. Disciplinarian? We need him Saban.

Now Smith is a perfect fit to go to Detroit with the 1st overall pick…he seemed too good for them until now!

Thanks Saban…its bad enough we got beat by jort loving Gators and now this.

“Our priority and focus as a team is to play the best football game of the season in this Sugar Bowl, and to support our players to overcome any adversity this unfortunate situation has created,” Saban said.

He better not be opening his own Jimmy Johns franchise. I own that shit in Bama! RTR!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, bad calls, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Discipline, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Bama Fans make the Best Prostitutes (If you equate best to skanky)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2008

Police in Montgomery, Alabama took down a prostitution ring yesterday that netted 7 sluts and 3 white trash pimps. Good job!

While looking through the mug shots picture 8 really stands out. It’s name is Leslie Parker and it’s obvious she’s a Bama fan! RTR!

She’s just trying to get paid by any means necessary… one might call her behavior “Saban-esque”. She may only charge a dollar but she feels like a millionaire. RTR!

alabama-pros

Rammer Jammer, Skank goes to the Slammer

She looks like the looks like the bastard child of Jeremy Shockey and Molly Ringwald. Let me guess. You take her home to your wife/girlfriend and your better half automatically feels better about herself…right?

The jerseys are actually a form of “prostitution code”. For example, the Johns are supposed to sport something from the University of South Carolina.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, Hookers, SEC, Skank | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

YMSWWC’s Awesome F**cking Guide to the 2008 Bowl Season! (With pictures this year)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008

cheerleaders

This would have been posted earlier but I kinda sorted screwed up and forgot to send Joel the bowl schedule. Yeah, my bad, I’m a dick. Whatever. Anywho let’s go over this year bowl schedule and mine and Joel’s picks and then you call your bookie.

This year there is a smorgasbord of crap-tastic games to choose from! Yay!

Non-BCS Bowls

EagleBank Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN
Where: Washington
Who: Navy vs. Wake Forest

Joel says: Anchors aweigh. I really wish Navy would have beat Notre Dame again this year. Wait, this is a real bowl game???

Thomas says: I pick Navy because I’m sick and damn tired of hearing how the Wake Forest is so good. Blah blah blah. Is this bowl game being funded by any of the bailout money by the way? Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in ACC Football, Air Force, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, BCS, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bob Stoops, Boise State, boston college, BYU, Cal, Charlie Weis, Clemson Tigers, Colorado State, Conference USA, Dabo Swinney, East Carolina Pirates, ESPN, Florida Atlantic, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fresno State, FSU, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hawaii Warriors, Houston Cougars, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, Kentucky Wildcats, Lou Lisp, LSU Tigers, Memphis Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Mike Gundy, mike leach, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, Navy, NC State Wolfpack, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nevada, Nick Saban, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Ole Miss, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rutgers, Satan, SEC, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, southern cal, southern miss, Steve Spurrier, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, tOSU, Troy, Univeristy of Troy, University of California berkeley, University of Southern Cal, Urban Meyer, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Virginia Tech, Wake Forest, West Virginia Mountaineers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

More crappy Christmas Gifts

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 4, 2008

Yes this season looks bleak especially if you’re a sports fan. If you’re like me and is forced…FORCED damn it…to participate in the office “Secret Santa” then get them a crap-tastic sports gift.

What says “You’re a gold digging whore” to that slutty office person who is constantly raving on about how drinks she scored for free over the weekend by offering over hyped cleavage and a lack of substance better than an ESPN Monopoly game?

Is Erin Andrews on the community chest cards?

This ties into the biggest thing that bothers me about ESPN – they in large part dictate the sports narratives of the day. Public opinion regarding an issue, player, or team can literally be shaped by ESPN now. So when the BCS goes to ESPN, not only will ESPN’s tune change on the issue of a college football playoff, but you can bet that public opinion will as well.

Know anyone that ever wanted to smell like JoePa’s adult diapers? Then here’s your chance to make them happy while grossing out their cubical neighbors.

Masik is a company that “specializes” in collegiate fragrances.

They offer colognes in the following schools:

  • UNC: When Just Looking Like Stu Scott Ain’t Enough, Bro. WARNING: do not spray directly in eyes.
  • Penn State: Musk, passion, wrinkles…Joe Paterno Moth Balls fragrance

And coming soon!

  • Florida: When being a douche-bag isn’t enough and you can smell like one.
  • Georgia: Boone’s Farm and urinal cakes with subtle notes of denial.
  • Alabama: mixture of baby back ribs, dead Behr and bacon is tantalizing to the ladies.
  • Tennessee: concoction of whiskey in a jar and Lane Kiffin
  • Auburn: heady combination of sinsemilla and ass.
  • LSU: A subtle blend of coonass and corndogs.

To bad they don’t make one for Oregon St Beavers the women’s version could embody the true essence…

Of course if you have an asshole boss like me get them a Redsox coffin. The special edition Ted Williams model comes with built-in air conditioning.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, Bear is Dead, Boston Red Sox, Douche Bag, ESPN, Evil Empire, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, LSU Tigers, North Carolina Tarheels, Penn State Nittany Lions, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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