Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘court tv’ Category

Maybe Andy Kennedy should have punched a Cleveland cabbie in the face instead

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 3, 2009

On December 18th ’08 Ole Miss Basketball coach, Andy Kennedy, was arrested for allegedly assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. Shortly thereafter Kennedy filed a deformation of character suit against the cab driver and his witness. Of course the stress & anxiety of all these events have left Kennedy unable to perform his “husbandly duties” for which his spouse filed her own lawsuit against the cabbie and his witness. I personally think her milkshake went sour and Kennedy was cheating on her and she found out…thus ultimate revenge.

If you thought things couldn’t get worse for Kennedy, especially after his wife proclaimed he was getting “soft”, then you’re mistaken. What does every police in this country have other than a radio? That’s right…a dash camera and voice recorder, let the festivities begin!

WLWT-TV, a television station in Cincinnati obtained the video footage of the arrest. I tried to post the video here but VodPod won’t allow me, however I did link to it.

The video shows Kennedy pleading not to be arrested because he’s famous and stuff. Here is some of the video translated.

popokennedy

“I’m here for the Big East SEC challenge,” Kennedy was heard saying on the video, WLWT reports. “I’m playing Louisville and Rick Pitino tomorrow. I was the UC head coach. I am going to be on national television. If I’m not standing there at 9 p.m. tomorrow, this is an international altercation.”

Wow…name dropping and attempting to involve the United Nations by claiming this could be an international altercation, isn’t exactly the best way to appease the officer. I personally hate name droppers. (Dick Vitale I’m speaking at you buddy) This also marks the first time a non-prostitute tried to get out of being arrested by mentioning Rick Pitino.

“I’m begging you. I’m looking at you. Please look at me. This is…this is a major deal man,” Kennedy pleaded, according to WLWT.

“I understand, sir, but if I don’t do this, I could lose my job,” said the officer.

“It’s not worth it. Please trust me. Please trust me on this. This is going to be a national incident, sir,” continued Kennedy.

“Sir, everything you’re saying right now is being recorded,” replied the officer.

“No, I understand that,” said Kennedy.

Yes judges always look favorable on people who try to talk the police out of doing their jobs.

However the next sentence out of the officer’s mouth is perhaps the greatest sentence a Cincinnati police officer has EVER uttered.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? …We deal with the Bengals all the time,” said the officer.

Boo-Yah!!!!  Absolute comic genius there!!!!

This cop is lucky this incident didn’t take place near Chappaquiddick, where the Kennedys are impervious to the law. Here’s hoping the Cincy cop’s wife doesn’t sue for lack of sex like Kennedy’s wife did.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, court tv, Lawsuit, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pacman Jones is getting sued? You don’t say

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2009

Well, here’s a shocker. Pacman Jones is being sued, except this time he is being sued by some stripper; no instead he’s being sued by his own attorney.

“Manny Arora claims Jones stiffed him for fees “in excess of $10,000″ on 18 different cases in which Arora represented either Jones’ family members or friends.

None of the cases mentioned in the lawsuit filed in Fulton State Court involve Jones directly.

The suit lists Deborah Jones, James Jones, Lewis Kueffor and Fleming Daniels as the defendants Arora assisted. The charges against them vary from speeding to kidnapping, simple battery and, in the case of Daniels, murder.”

The bottom line is this:

You are the company that you keep.

That’s why Pacman had so much trouble during his career; he might not have been raised to know any better and was unable to leave that life behind. When someone with that kind of background gets money this is what sometimes happens.

Some people don’t know when they have it good. Given the opportunity to do something that you do well and enjoy, and to have the opportunity to accumulate wealth that would make living that much easier, how can you mess that up? How can you not see what you have going for you? You can’t blame your present situation on your past upbringing because these are choices and if you did not come from “easy street”, then you should appreciate your success that much more. To say the least, his career may be over. After what ESPN Outside The Lines showed  clearly that Adam Jones does not get it.

Word of advice to this attorney…if Pacman wants to meet you at a strip club to talk things over, don’t go.

Posted in Adam Jones, court tv, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, legal troubles, NFL Football, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Glocks & Athletes Are Not A Good Combination

Posted by Joel on December 1, 2008

I was well prepared to talk about Tennessee hiring Lane Kiffin and what I thought of it. I along with millions of other Volunteer fans have my opinion, but I want to spend this time to talk about a troubling trend the past, oh, 14 years or so. I am about to do my best Jason Whitlock impersonation, except I am not as big, well-known, or paid.

I have known and/or met quite a few pro athletes in my day. By and large, the ones that I have met are down to earth guys, trying to improve themselves in the sport that they play. They are trying to improve themselves so they can improve their bank accounts. For the athletes that have come from little to nothing growing up, they try to help out family and friends along their journey to fame and fortune. This cycle can lead to problems.

To the athletes reading this blog, please do the following couple of things for me:

*Leave the guns at home…

I am watching the Redskins vs. Giants game. Ironic because on this day, where the Redskins are honoring fallen teammate Sean Taylor, who was murdered in his home a year ago, Plaxico Burress is facing weapons charges because he decided to go “Cheddar Bob” on his thigh while carrying a handgun illegally (or he wanted to be on the next diss record of Eminem, 50 Cent, and Busta Rhymes). If the club was such a bad place to be, then why go??? He’s married (to a lawyer) and has a young son. Why put yourself through now facing jail time over seeing some ass shaking at the club, and get teammate Antonio Pierce involved??? Stephen Jackson, Jamaal Tinsley, and Marvin Harrison would agree. If you are about to go somewhere and you think that you need a gun, then don’t go. If I need a gun to go to my local Quickie Mart for a chocolate squishy, then I won’t be seeing Apu that night. Which leads me to the next point…

*Do not own more than 3 guns…

A wise man once told me that if you are gonna own a gun for home protection, get 3. One should be a handgun that you can grab quickly (Glock), one should be a rifle or shotgun, and one should be a small pistol that your woman could shoot in a pinch (.22 or .38). Whether this is wise or not, I think this is sound advice. In other words, do not be Tank Johnson. And if you wanna be a rapper, PLEASE do not be T.I.

ti_gun_collection_101707

*Last, everyone is not out to get you…

Unless you allow yourself to be associated with bad people, not everyone is out to get you. Yes, crime is everywhere, and what happened to Sean Taylor was a tragedy not of his doing, but of 4 kids who wanted to take a short cut at getting ahead. At the same time, you athletes for the most part have more money than I will ever see. Use some of that to invest in a security company and let bodyguards carry the weapons. Because if you pull a Plax and not have that concealed handgun license, you could shoot yourself at 3 a.m., or face jail time. And please don’t rob any convenience stores…

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adam Jones, armed robbery, Assault & Battery, Bail Bondsman, basketball, Brawls, Chicago Bears, classless, court tv, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, dumbass, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, football, Goodell, guilty, Jemele Hill, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Football, NRA, Police, Sports, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Gee I never received an invatation

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 7, 2008

America’s favorite murderer and now convicted on lesser charges felon O.J. Simpson’s arrogance knows no bounds. He was so sure that he was going walk free from his Nevada robbery and kidnap trial that he had planned an acquittal party.

I never got an invite. Yo Juice what’s up with that?

From The Review Journal:

“Simpson associate Thomas Riccio, after an in-studio interview Friday with radio talk-show host Anthony Crivello and retired Las Vegas police detective Phil Ramos, invited them to join O.J.’s entourage at an undisclosed location. “That’s how certain he was,” Crivello said during an interview on Saturday, a day after Simpson and co-defendant Clarence “C.J.” Stewart were found guilty on all counts, including armed robbery and kidnapping with a deadly weapon.

“He’s been predicting a hung jury,” said Ramos, who attended the trial and provided expert commentary on Crivello’s show, “The Sicilians” on Fox Sports Radio KBAD-AM, 920. “The first thing that popped into my head,” Ramos said, “was Sandy Murphy.” He was referring to Murphy’s overconfidence the day the jury began deliberating in 2000 when she and Rick Tabish were accused of killing casino operator Ted Binion in 1998″

O.J. has made comments in the past about wanting to move to Vegas permanently…well those plans might come true after all. To bad the party was cancelled because Kato Kielin got the night off from Wal-Mart for nothing.

Maybe he can snag an invite to the Nevada state prisoners’ “The Juice will be loose” party.

I can’t wait to read: “If I Hadn’t Done It”

The Washington Post reports that O.J. Simpson is being isolated from other prisoners for his own safety but he continues to hope for a new trial after his conviction for kidnapping and robbery, his attorney said Sunday.

“He’s disappointed and a bit melancholy,” he said.

Wait till he finds out that the deposits for the DJ and the party planner are nonrefundable. Apparently in his case, what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas.

Posted in court tv, Crime & Punishment, murderer, OJ Simpson | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Jose Canseco Will Most Likely be on Judge Judy

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2008

Jose “Snitch Bitch” Canseco is not having a good year. His latest book is a flop. He lost his 7300-square foot home to foreclosure last month. Now his former attorney has filed a lawsuit against the retired baseball star for not paying him.

Attorney Robert Saunooke said the former slugger and current bum didn’t pay him for five years of work. He said Canseco owes him between $350,000 and $500,000 for representing him in civil and criminal matters, contract negotiations, plane trips and book deals. All this will make for riveting television for the likes of Judge Judy.

Canseco said he’s confident that he will win any challenge if it goes to court. He said his former attorney is only one of many people who have attacked him since he began revealing his use of steroids — and alleging that of other players — in baseball several years ago.

“I’m surrounded by liars and thieves,” says the man who allowed his home to be foreclosed on.

Canseco’s current attorney, Gregory Emerson, did not immediately return messages left at his office or his cell phone. He was probably trying to track Jose down to get that all important retainer that Canseco seems to keep “forgetting” to pay.

Saunooke said Canseco never paid the money he earned during the time that the 2005 book titled, “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ’Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big” was published, and when he demanded Canseco pay, the former major leaguer hired Emerson.

“I had thought he was a friend. That’s why I stayed with him as long as I did,” Saunooke said. “When you represent famous people, it’s not easy to run away from them. I’m not the kind of lawyer that would desert my client.”

Saunooke said he accompanied Canseco to Washington in 2005 for a congressional hearing on steroid use in Major League Baseball, among other legal issues while he has been his attorney.

“He doesn’t have any money problems,” Saunooke said. “He just doesn’t pay his bills.”

Jose is clearly a bum however Saunooke should know as an attorney and more importantly as a person, when you lay with dogs you’re bound to get dog shit on you.

Posted in court tv, Cry Baby, Jose Canseco, Judge Judy, Juiced, Snitches, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Where’s Perrilloux???

Posted by Joel on May 13, 2008

Ryan Perrilloux, he of the casino/weed smoking corndog sector of SEC country, is currently looking for a school to play ball since The Hat gave him the boot for inhaling some of the finest “Gator Green” or “Knoxville Recruiting Tool”. So far, Alabama A& M, Valdosta St., and Jacksonville St. are supposedly recruiting. Presumably Perrilloux will be attending a D-1AA or D-II school to play immediately.

Then I saw this story on ESPN about Jackson State University football coach Rick Comegy trying to recruit him. I then got a headache. Why???

Well being a proud alumnus of Tennessee State University, Jackson State is one of our biggest rivals. We are talking about a rivalry that goes back decades. Epic battles between beautiful Nashville and piss ant Jackson, MS have insured and now the rivalry game is held as the Southern Heritage Classic held in Memphis, one of the two times a year that the Liberty Bowl is actually full.

Tennessee State has been one of the top HBCU’s historically, both athletically and academically. The school has produced a 1st round pick in this year’s draft (Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie), can claim two guys that should be NFL Hall of Famers (Richard Dent and Ed “Too Tall” Jones), several Olympic gold medalists (Ralph Boston, Chandra Cheesborough, Wilma Rudolph), journalists (Carl Rowan, Tina Tyus-Shaw, niece of Wyomia Tyus, another TSU alum and 2 time gold medalist), and some lady named Oprah Winfrey. After Walter Payton and Morgan Freeman*, who are the rest of the famous alums from that hellhole???

Besides being part of a great tradition, Perrilloux will also benefit from playing in LP Field, an NFL stadium that is the home of the Tennessee Titans, and not some old crappy ass stadium in “glamorous” downtown Jackson. Perrilloux, if you are reading this (thank God you aren’t Jerrell Powe because I don’t want to get some neighborhood kids together to record a special “School House Rocks: Tennessee St. Edition”) check out the campus, check out the city, and come home.

Think of it this way: If Nashville was good enough for Pacman Jones then it is good enough for you…

*Editor’s Note: Upon further research, Morgan Freeman was offered a partial scholarship to Jackson State but turned it down to become an airplane mechanic.

Posted in Alabama State, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arizona Cardinals, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, College Football, College Gameday, Conspiracy Theory, Coonass, Corn Dogs, court tv, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, ESPN, football, guilty, Internet Rumors, legal troubles, Les Miles, Liar, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, NCAA, NCAA Rules Violation, NFL, NFL Draft, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pot, Ryan Perrilloux, Sports | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

According to Prison Officials Either Arthur Blank or Vick is Lying about Playing Football (I’m Banking on the Latter)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2008

Just one day after the owner of the Atlanta Falcons Author Blank proclaimed in an interview with the New York Daily News that Vick is playing ball in prison to keep his body in shape, his arm limber and hoping to avoid rapists to pass the time, federal prison officials told the Journal-Constitution that Vick did not arrive at the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary Camp in time to participate in the facility’s football season.

Uh oh someone is fibbing…gee I wonder who it could be. ConVICK’ed felon Michael or billionaire Blank. Hmm…the mind ponders this.

“Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides,” Blank told the Daily News. He was referring to statements dog killer Vick said in letters he wrote to Blank.

When told of Blank’s account of Vick’s football activity at the prison, a spokesman for Leavenworth sounded “incredulous,” according to the Journal-Constitution.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin Johnson told the newspaper.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons told the Journal-Constitution, however, that Vick might be throwing a football in his free time but he also might be getting gang raped and making license plates to pass the time as well.

Then the spokesperson clarified and said “No wait he’s washing pots and pans so being gang raped is more the sure thing. Either way both are great at passing time. However, Vick is on my federal correctional facility fantasy team.”

I wonder if there is a salary cap involved here

“It’s not unheard of for inmates to toss around a football,” Tracy Billingsley another prison spokesperson told the newspaper. “But there just are no games until the fall.”

I think Billingsley meant to say Vick had not COMPLETED any passes in the prison football league.

She also clarified to the newspaper that the inmates play only flag football at the facility and that tackle football aroused the bitch inmates to much.

Wow, they have a deadline to sign up for football in jail? Do they have free agency in jail too? Are we going to be watching a televised Jail house Flag Football game in the Fall?

Blank, through a spokesperson of his own, declined to be interviewed by the Journal-Constitution.

If Blank could pull some strings to get Vick moved to Nash Correctional Institution, he could be tossing bombs to Rae Carruth. How cool would that be?

By the way, the prison checkers league kicks off in February 2009, and the season will last two weeks. The deadline for sign up was two years ago. They’re totally running out of time to get everything organized and set up.

Posted in Ass Whipping, Atlanta Falcons, conVick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Duo From the USC Womens Team are Rearrested…God Spurrier Can Only Wish They Were Football Players

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 4, 2008

Just one day after making bail, the female version of Florida football players are arrested yet again and all God Spurrier can do is shake his head while wishing his players would listen to his “Be more like Florida” mantra.

Authorities filed additional charges today against the USC women’s basketball players accused of stealing credit and debit cards and planning to sell marijuana & crack. Jasmine Payne and Ashlie Billingslea are back in jail after USC police connected them to two other thefts at the Blatt P.E. Center.

Payne, 18, of Bay Springs, Miss., faces six additional counts for a total of 11 charges, most of which are felonies.

With three new charges, the 19-year-old Billingslea, of Stone Mountain, Ga., has a total of eight counts against her.

USC spokesman Russ McKinney said police are treating the matter as an active investigation.

Both players have been kicked out of school and off the team.

Now…if these young (ahem) ladies were USC football players & God Spurrier was their coach, here’s what the punishment for each charge would have been;

  • Credit card theft
    • A prepaid Visa card sporting the Gamecock Logo
  • Credit card fraud
    • A prepaid Mastercard sporting “Cocky” the USC mascot
  • Petit larceny
    • Suspended from the team for 5 minutes
  • Two counts of possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine in proximity to a school
    • Learn to crush that crack into a powder…keep it “Gamecock Classy”
  • Two counts of possession with intent to distribute marijuana in proximity to a school
    • Mary Jane would be forfeited & distributed to other Gamecock football players…for free

However these skanks ladies aren’t football players so they have dismissed from the team and of course expelled from school. South Carolina Gamecock football players take note, the Ole Ball (Sac) Coach can’t be happy about the fact his mantra is falling on deaf ears…unless you’re a woman of course. Go Cocks!


A scene of the actual arrest, notice one USC player is saddened

Posted in court tv, Crack, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, drugs, Gamecocks, moral victories, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Andre Allen Suspended

Posted by Joel on April 3, 2008

medium_memphis.jpg

University of Memphis backup point guard Andre Allen has been suspended from the basketball team, just days before the team plays in San Antonio for the Final Four. WREG in Memphis is reporting that Allen failed a random drug test and was suspended by coach John Calipari. Allen has been in trouble before. In 2005, he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

If this is true, then what the hell was Allen thinking??? Apparently Allen had some of Houston’s finest “greenery” while he visited this fine city. Either that, or hanging out with Longhorn fans caused him to catch some contact, as those pagans played their favorite game of puff puff pass.

Allen should have been smarter. This is his last year playing (he could have applied for an exemption from the NCAA, but no way he gets it now). He had the chance to play in a Final Four and compete for a national championship. But instead, he is stuck in Memphis, resigned to eating Jack Pirtle’s chicken and watching the game from his Vizio.

On a somewhat related note, The Commercial Appeal’s website has a great article on the 1985 Tiger Final Four team. For those of us who followed Tiger basketball, it is a reminder of how good that team was, and also how troubled some of it’s members have been.  You know, I’m a little sad. I hope you guys don’t mind if I post a pic to cheer me up…

special29.jpg

You know, I think the Tigers will be ok now…

Posted in College Basketball, Conference USA, court tv, Memphis Tigers, NCAA | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Uh Oh, Pacman Is “Gon Make It Rain”

Posted by Joel on March 25, 2008

pacmanparty.jpg

So Pacman just went on Michael Irvin’s show today saying how he needed to watch who he hangs out with, and now this. Pacman, along with his trusty sidekick “Spoaty” are having a sockhop in “da ATL” on Sunday. So if anyone is in the Atlanta area on Sunday and need some way to kill off a Sunday night, here ya go. Ladies get in free and Grey Goose is on the house. I guess this means that Dana Jacobsen won’t be there since she’s a Belvedere chick. Don’t worry, they can afford all of the free Grey Goose because they got the flyers printed at Cheap Ass Flyers…

0124jacobson.jpg

Posted in alcoholics, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Big East, bongs, boo birds, classless, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Dead Drunk, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, DUI, dumbass, ESPN, football, guilty, Hip Hop, ho, Jerry Jones, legal troubles, Liar, Little Bitch, Marijuana, mary jane, moron, NFL, NFL Football, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Spoaty, Sports, stupid, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.