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Archive for the ‘Tennessee Titans’ Category

R.I.P. #9

Posted by Joel on July 8, 2009

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(pic of Gridiron9 courtesy of Melanie McGee-Pace)

It has been 3 days and I am still in shock. Though he died in, to say the least, odd circumstances, for a community, city, state, and fans scattered across the world, our QB has left us.

For years, Tennessee did not have a professional sports franchise to call our own. Yes the Vols were kings of Tennessee college football and the Tigers were the kings of Tennessee college basketball, but we watched as Jacksonville got our NFL team. We watched as Vancouver got our basketball team (ironic huh???) For years, we could only imagine the possibilities of seeing our team going to a Super Bowl. We could only dream of going to pro basketball games with our parents, and one day taking our own children to those same games.

Thanks to K.S. “Bud” Adams, our pro sports thirst was finally quenched (with all apologies to the Nashville Predators). The then-Oilers would build a home in Tennessee. For a couple of years, they were a rag tag group of football players, first by playing in Memphis and then in Vanderbilt Stadium in Nashville. But they were led by our QB, Steve McNair.

I remember when the Oilers would hold pep rallies on Beale St. in Memphis. Where as a lot of the players would look like they did not wanna be there, he made sure to lead the cheers. After those pep rallies, he made sure to sign as many autographs and take as many pics as he could. I had many opportunities to meet Steve McNair on many occasions, and on each one, he was always nice and smiling.

Later on, he would lead the team to Super Bowl XXXIV against the St. Louis Rams. We hung on every play. We knew we as Titans fans had a shot of winning the game in the 4th quarter because of our QB. We came up 1 yard short, which still eats away at our sports soul. But the thrill of being oh so close to glory almost makes up for not winning (almost).

We cheered when he won the MVP trophy. We cringed when Ray Lewis tackled him. We got pissed at Bud Adams & Floyd Reese for kicking him out of the door. We were glad to see him in the neighborhood after he retired. Through it all, he was our QB. He gave away free admissions to his football camps for needy kids. He gave shoes to high school football players who couldn’t afford them. He asked people to donate supplies during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and Middle Tennessee gave truckloads (he loaded the trucks). He opened a restaurant across the street from Tennessee State University when he could have opened it elsewhere. Most importantly, he did it selflessly and with a smile.

We don’t have the storied history of the Boston Red Sox, L.A. Lakers, New York Yankees, or Pittsburgh Steelers. He was our Ted Williams, our Kareem, our Joe DiMaggio, our Terry Bradshaw. Coach Jeff Fisher said it best:

“The Steve McNair that I knew was a great person. He helped put this organization on the map here in Tennessee, put it in our first Super Bowl. I will miss him, as you all will miss him. And I ask you to honor what he did on the field and in the community and he was a tremendous legacy. And that is his legacy and I am proud to have been a part of that.’’

Posted in NFL, NFL Football, Sports, sports & stuff, Tennessee, Tennessee Titans | 2 Comments »

Hot links are the future for Vince Young

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 31, 2009

Some people didn’t believe me when I reported that Vince Young wanted to share his sausage with the world. Here is photo evidence and it’s important to note that Young has it right: When appearing on a package of hot link one should always wear a suit and tie.

It seems like yesterday we saw Young failing at the forward pass in the NFL and today the weekly special at Kroger. I wonder if the Vince Young Hot Links Family Pack comes with a prescription for Prozac and a complimentary trip to therapy.

Seems strange that Vince Young is selling Hot Links considering his Wonderlic score resulted in a court order forbidding him from being near an open flame.

Posted in Hot Links, NFL, NFL Football, Tennessee Titans, Vince Young | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

America’s favorite baby daddy says he was trapped

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 16, 2009

travis-henry

Look, we all know that former University of Tennessee running back, Travis Henry, is one fertile MF’er. After all I did dub him Travis “I got nine, nine MF’ing kids” Henry for a reason.

Henry recently told his story of reproductive woe to the New York Times. The former Bills/Broncos/Titans running back states only one child was planned however after he left Tennessee for the NFL draft he had three kids from three separate mothers.

After Henry was drafted by North America’s South Canada’s team, the Buffalo Bills, he still continued to share his seed of love several times with various fallopian tubes.

Now here’s something that you might or might not know: Children are like little people, they sometimes need medical care, they need clothing, shelter and that pesky thing called food. With Henry’s legal troubles stemming from drug charges, and no longer in the league, Henry claims he is completely broke.

Of course none of this is Henry’s fault whatsoever. He says he was trapped. I believe I heard the same line while watching the movie Juno. Don’t judge me for watching Juno there was no sports on!!

“I did use protection at first. Then they’d be saying they’d be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn’t use it. Then, boom!”

Translation: “As a professional athlete there is a certain pressure on me to use Magnum XL condoms. I also have a pencil dick. Shit falls off, I’m a daddy. Again.”

Look Henry I’m going to drop some knowledge on you that my grandfather dropped on me:

Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me 8 times – I clearly have the IQ of a box of staples.

Henry may want to look into Vas Madness at The Urology Team in Austin, Texas. Of course back in my day we didn’t have all these fancy birth control methods….like pulling out.

At the present moment Henry is engaged and he says that both he and his fiancée don’t want any children. Which giving his past track record means I expect her to have quintuplets within the next two years.

Stuff like this is exactly why fellow NFL bust Maurice Clarett only has anal sex now. On second thought, that’s for different reasons altogether.

Posted in Buffalo Bills, Crime & Punishment, Denver Broncos, Juno, NFL Football, SEC Football, Tennessee Titans, Tennessee Volunteers, travis henry, Trojan Magnum condoms | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Joel’s Crappy Weekend

Posted by Joel on December 17, 2008

Saturday

-Kid wakes up at 6:30 am, thus killing any dreams of having a lazy Saturday morning. A feeling suddenly comes over me, telling me that today will not be a good day for the home team.

-I almost lose my little girl at the park around 10:30 am. I now feel like a “Father of the Year” candidate. I took my eye off of her for 5.8 seconds to answer my cell phone & she was gone. Luckily, she walked over to the mounted cop’s horse. Instantly, I was relieved and told her not to give the horse candy. We didn’t want to end up like Kenny from Half Baked.

-Watch the Memphis Tigers give the game away to Georgetown in OT. They need a point guard in the worst way.

-Kentucky beat Indiana, thus killing my sweet Billy Clyde/Hoosiers I had thought about. Bastards.

-Got into it with the better half. Guys, always remember that women, although beautiful creatures, are mean and vicious when they choose to be. After arguing, it was couch duty for me. Life sucks.

-I found out Candace Parker married that monkey looking Duke boy, thus killing my dream of me and Candace…wait,I am already doing couch duty. Let me shut up.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Auburn, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, Candace Parker, Dallas Cowboys, Duke, Georgetown Hoyas, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, houston, Houston Texans, Kentucky Wildcats, Lady Vols, Love Sucks, Memphis Tigers, New York Giants, Sports, Tennessee Titans, Terrell Owens, War Eagle | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays for 10/23/08

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 23, 2008

Broken plays is collection of crap that I didn’t have the time to write about but I wanted to write something and since I’m rather pressed for time this AM let’s get to it.

In case you didn’t know Jerry “Hair plugs” Jones says Adam Jones checked into a facility “in another part of the country” to deal with his alcohol issue. The treatment plan is overseen by the NFL.

I can see it now:

*PacMan stands up at his first meeting.*

“Hello. My name is Adam and I have a problem. I done been here 3 hours and none of you bitches has showed me where the bar is. And where da strippers at man???? Where da strippers??? Get Jerry on da’ phone. This resort he sent me too sucks man!!!”

Has anyone notice how Fox Sports Charissa Thompson has really let herself go? See the above photo for a clear example. I bet Freddie Prinze, Jr. is determined to make her prom queen.

Rich Brooks had some not so nice things to say about the Kentucky fans from his press conference after last Saturday’s game:

“After the last two years? No, I don’t (think fans should have left) but that’s their prerogative,” Brooks said. “I wasn’t very happy at that stage of the game either and I’m looking for everything I can on the sideline to get our players back into it mentally. That’s part of the cascading affect that can have a real negative attitude on your football team. When those things happen around you you have to be strong enough to not let them affect you.

“I find it interesting about the perception of Kentucky football. What’s the ‘Bluegrass Miracle’? Now, you would think the Arkansas game might be better termed the ‘Bluegrass Miracle’ on the positive side so our ‘Bluegrass Miracle’ is a negative thing with Kentucky football. I find that very interesting. I find it interesting that you get more phone calls after a loss on the call-in shows than you do after a win. You might call that negativity, you know, the old glass half full, glass have empty.”

Support your team, Kentuckians!

Jay Cutler has started a war of words with Philip Rivers by saying:

“I have a stronger arm than John, hands down. I’ll bet on it against anybody’s in the league. Brett Favre’s got a cannon. But on game days, there’s nobody in the league who’s going to throw it harder than I am at all.”

His cameo in a South Park episode has clearly gone to his head. Notice since he started talking, his numbers have gone down. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

The Browns have suspended Kellen “I’m a MF’ing Soldier” Winslow for “unwarranted, inappropriate, and unnecessarily disparaging” remarks about the organization, as they put it.

What at first was reported as an undisclosed illness, which was then soon rumored to be “swollen testicles,” medically known as hydrocele. The truth turned out to be that Winslow was suffering from a staph infection.

“Regardless of how this was released the information would still remain the same,” Winslow said. “I contracted staph, again. I spoke out on this because I felt it was the right thing to do and that is why I was so passionate about it. This has nothing to do with football and this has nothing to with my current contract situation. This is a health concern.

“I care deeply for my organization, my teammates, and the Browns fans. At no time was I ever trying to cause distress for the team or be a distraction but the fact remains there is a health issue that needs to be addressed further.”

You’d think he’d be used to being treated like a piece of meat after sharing a locker room with Brady Quinn for two years.

Just to let everyone know, all the troubles Vince Young is having is apparently the fault of the media.

“I feel like they’re writing my legacy,” Young said. “They’re writing my story. I’m a great guy, a great humble guy. I’ve done a whole lot in my career in just three years and for [the media] to do stuff like that to try to make me look bad for some reason – I don’t know why – but they’re just writing my legacy.”

I know who I am, everyone knows who I am as a person. They know good and well, I ain’t trying to commit suicide or all that kind of crap. It was just a story everybody wanted to write. It was hot and everybody need to make their money, feed their viewers. I always get the bad end but I just brush that off and use that as motivation for myself.”

You know someone is humble when they point out how humble they are. I bet Jerry Jones approves of this response.

Young then trailed off for a moment, before yelling…”I drive a Dodge Stratus!!”

What a shocker A-Rod and Ho-Rod Madonna are romantically involved.

This will throw the scent off the gay trail! Because nothing says “Not gay!” like an insatiable Madonna obsession.

+1 to A-Rod’s PR people.

Apparently New Berlin Eisenhower High School football program has given R. Kelly a new idea for a new song. Thinking the restrooms were locked during halftime at a recent game against (I swear I not making this name up) Pewaukee High, the visiting Eisenhower players relieved themselves on the outskirts of the playing field.

Superintendent Paul Kreutzer tells the Journal Sentinel he has spoken with the players and says they showed incredibly poor judgment during halftime of Monday night’s game. Parents of opposing players agree. “I was very mad and I thought it was completely rude and uncalled for,” said Michele Bellows, whose son plays for Pewaukee’s junior varsity team. “I thought that they were making a statement like ‘the heck with you guys.’ ” Pewaukee Athletic Director John Maltsch admonished the boys and their coach over the public address system, saying “Coach, we do have facilities for your players to use.”

Ooooh. Urine some trouble now boys. According to the Flomax commercial, not only did these kids disgrace themselves, they are going to miss a photo op with their buddies.

I have just one pressing question. WTF is TO wearing? He looks like big old pass dropping bumblebee. Normally, T.O.’s barbershop quartet, The Pill Poppin’ Pen Pullin’ Prim Donnas, elect not to wear the yellow sweater.

Posted in A-Fraud, Alex Rodriguez, cleveland browns, Cry Baby, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Jerry Jones, Kentucky Wildcats, Madonna, Pacman Jones, Rich Brooks, T.O., Tennessee Titans, Terrell Owens, Vince Young | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

I’m not done with Wednesday’s update yet quite yet….

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 1, 2008

This has been an extremely busy week for stories involving NFL players that aren’t necessarily related to the heroism players show each and every Sunday. In fact most of them are very un-hero like. There’s so many that I don’t possibly have the time to write about them all.

So instead of writing boring stories with humorous & snarky quips, I’m just going to write a few lines and link them. After all that’s better nothing right? Yeah…that’s what I thought.

As we know former Tennessee God and Denver running back Travis “I gots 9 Mf’ing 9 kids” Henry’s baby mommas gots to get paid! Now since he is technically unemployed he decided to the next best thing and that is set up a drug deal involving cocaine.

Problem is he was busted. His new teammates Malice and Pusha T are disapointed and are dropping him from the Re Up Gang. Hey Henry remember don’t get Mile High on your own supply.

Terrell Owens still ♥’s his QB but hates “Sheshawn” Johnson.

“Then, Owens turned his attention to Johnson, who he referred to as “Sheshawn” on three separate occasions, the Star-Telegram reported.

(As the No. 1 overall pick in the 1996 draft) he is the ultimate underachiever on that (ESPN) panel. I am the reason he is in the booth,” Owens said. “Everybody is aware when I was brought to Dallas, he was the one they let go to get me here.”

And Sheshawn’s in the booth to replace Michael Irvin. ‘Cause Michael’s a crack head.

When Terrell ever gets fed up with Romo, ooh, what a nickname he has in store. Here’s a hint:

Remember when Steve Smith whipped Ken Lucas’s ass? Well now they are BFF’s forever!

“Smith scored his first touchdown of the season on a 54-yard pass from Jake Delhomme late in the second quarter, then presented the ball to Lucas on the sideline.”

Apparently Plaxico Burress has some issues with being tardy and is paying the price with fines. Sarah Palin’s daughter had that ‘late’ problem too, but mom wouldn’t let her throw money at her problem to take care of it. (Oh no I didn’t)

Eli Manning should hook Plaxico up with one of his Citizen watches.

Some people took the Georgia loss real hard over the weekend. Danny Ware a former Georgia player and current New York Giants running back took it extremely hard by getting drunk and arrested.

Ware and a 24-year-old Dallas woman attracted a police officer’s attention at about 2:25 a.m. Sunday at East Clayton Street near North Jackson Street because they seemed oblivious to traffic that had to steer around them as they stood in the street talking, according to police.

Ware admitted that he’d been drinking, and a breath test showed he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.152 grams, police said.

Lovely he wasn’t even driving he was just trying to get a hook up for later. I wonder if he feels worse about Georgia losing or the fact he’s a drunken pedestrian that was busted while wearing temporary Bulldog tattoos stuck to his face (“cheek flair”) which adds another level of humiliation.

This one is a little old however I meant to write about it. Apparently even though Pacman Jones broke the law several times, players on the Titians still respected him more than they respect Vince Young…you know the “leader” of the team.

“Vince definitely is going to have to win the locker room back. As bad as Pacman was when he left the building or at 3 o’clock in the morning, it never interfered with his football. He loved football. Loved practice. The guys loved him. Players are going to be on your side if you show that you’re going to help them win. Vince has to prove that to this team.”

Further proof that football players care mostly about whether their teammates are helping them win, something Young was not doing.

Not only does he have to worry if Terrell Owens will finally blow his lid but Jerry Jones must pay $25,000 to NFL for flapping his mouth about Ed Hochuli. Terrell Owens just laughs and laughs.

I’ll show love to baseball as well.

Even though he no longer coaches the Dodgers some people in San Francisco harbor ill feelings towards Tommy Lasorda by getting all pissy because he’s the grand marshal in the Italian American parade.

Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier wants organizers of the San Francisco Italian American parade to boot Tommy Lasorda as grand marshal … He’s the former manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, who’ve had “an intense rivalry” with our hometown Giants for years and “nobody embodies that more than Tommy Lasorda,” states the resolution … The Giants aren’t doing so great, it continues, and “Dodger fans are boastful and smug.”

For someone in San Francisco to call another person smug is rather hypocritical. Of course maybe they would prefer Joe Torre instead.

Everyone knows Eddie Vedder recorded a song for the Chicago Cubs right? Not to be left out the Tampa Bay Devil Rays have to have a song as well. However the best they could muster was Kevin Costner and his band “Modern West” penning them a diddy titled “It’s All Up To You.”

The song can be heard here, but be forewarned that one listen may cause cerebral hemorrhaging, blindness & the sudden love of shitty music.

Just in case you want to sing along, though:

“You got to swing for the fence, give a hundred percent,

“Dust yourself off, get up and do it again.

“You’re the only one that can make your dreams come true.

“You’re the only one, it’s all up to you.”

Posted in cocaine, Cry Baby, Dallas Cowboys, Danny Ware, Dawgs, Denver Broncos, drugs, drunk, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerry Jones, Major League Baseball, New York Giants, NFL Football, Pacman Jones, Tennessee Titans, Tennessee Volunteers, Terrell Owens, Tommy Lasorda, Tony Romo, Vince Young | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

And now a look at the AFC teams after week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2008

AFC East:

  • New England Patriots: No Brady no problem. Cassel the backup to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart while at SoCal takes the reigns and leads his team to 2-0. Hey Matt how does feel being benched knowing your backup who never played a college game is undefeated? Maybe this is your career highlight:

  • Buffalo Bills: Looking good guys. They were on the cusp all last year so they aren’t a fluke.
  • New York Jets: Couldn’t beat New England even though they have Brett Fa*** and New England was Brady’less. Welcome to the AFC Brett.
  • Miami Dolphins: Much improved over last year but are still winless.

AFC North:

  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Are still the team to beat.
  • Cleveland Browns: Are winless…what? Yes I’m afraid the team is suffering through a sophomore slump.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: Are horrible Marvin Lewis might want to start updating his resume. I wonder how crow tastes because he had to eat it after taking Chris Henry back.

  • Baltimore Ravens: Don’t expect to much them for the remaining of the season.

AFC South

  • Indianapolis Colts: Are in dire need to get the running game going.
  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Are winless…maybe they aren’t as good as everyone thought.
  • Tennessee Titans: Vince is still sulking because Kerry Collins a future Just For Men spokesman is playing just fine.
  • Houston Texans: Have been disrupted by Hurricane Ike so really to early to tell.

AFC West

  • San Diego Chargers: The Bolts are winless and that’s a shocker. Maybe God hates them this year.
  • Denver Broncos: God may hate the Bolts but he loves Jay Cutler.
  • Oakland Raiders: Lane Kiffin might as well pack his “Hang In There” kitten poster up. He’s done there.
  • Kansas City Chiefs: I like Herman Edwards but this is a bad team he might be Oakland’s next coach.

Posted in Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, cleveland browns, Denver Broncos, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, jacksonville jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Matt Leinart, miami dolphins, New England Patriots, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Diego Chargers, Tennessee Titans | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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