Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Tennessee Volunteers’

The 2009 Big Orange Roundtable. Vol III

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2009

It’s that time again…time for the Big Orange Roundtable and this week I get to be king! Now I know some of you readers have been e-mailing me and wanting me to behead the idiot coach who didn’t pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super Duper QB of the year that also walks on water and has a platinum halo, all because he can’t read and let someone else fill out his preseason ballot out, but there will be no bloodshed during this roundtable session. Let go straight to the questions! 

1. Now that we have covered the receivers & QB’s, let’s get to the running game. Just how much improved do you think the running game will be? 

Well considering Foster fumbled A LOT plus the fact he was slow you had to clock him using a sundial, I would say it be greatly improved. 

First off we have Montario Hardesty who was getting rave reviews throughout the spring practices, and then we have Tauren Poole from what I understand he might be the next starting running back this season when all is said and done. 

We did recruit some guy by the name Bryce Brown who happened to be the number No.1 overall prospect in the 2009 class by Rivals.com … Rated No. 1 at running back by Scout.com and No. 2 by ESPN. Oh yeah we also have David Oku the No. 1 overall all-purpose back and the No. 97 overall recruit in the 2009 class by Rivals.com. 

With an energized line and a simpler offense of play action pass and ramming down the other team’s throats, I believe the running game will have a huge impact on this upcoming season and rank somewhere in the top 20.    

Auburn-Playbook-R

We believe this was drawn up during last years game with Auburn...damn Clawson my head hurts trying to figure this out.

2. During the SEC media days, Kiffin made the comment “Do I love every single thing I’ve done my (first) seven months? No, I haven’t loved having to do it. But it needed to be done, in my opinion, for us to get where we needed to be.” What do you think he was talking about? 

I sincerely believe he was referring to the decisions he had to make about players and recruits. I believe he was referring too having to withdraw scholarships to those that were offered by the previous coaching staff and he was referring to letting some of the current roster go.  

3. Do you think giving Mike Hamilton a big raise and extension is a mistake before seeing how Kiffin performs as a head coach?

Yes! Let’s play what-if. What if Kiffin and this staff flops and everyone is canned, think about the money that will need to be paid out. If Kiffin does let go then surely Hamilton will need to be let go as well. You can’t the wave of the Bruce Pearl hiring forever. With this new raise then there’s even more money that will need to be paid out. It was a huge mistake on the university’s part in my opinion.  

4. What is the one game Tennessee needs to win this season? 

cry_cocky

I said it last year and I’ll say it again. Beat the Shamecocks of South Carolina. There is no excuse for not winning this game. Both teams have new assistant coaches and as of right now both teams have questions about their quarterbacks. 

South Carolina lost a lot on both sides of the ball especially the defensive side. If Kiffin and this staff want respect within this league then beating the ole ball (sac) coach is the way to go about it. 

Please remember to visit the sites of my fellow Big Orange Roundtable brethren and see their replies:

MoonDogSports.com 

3rd Saturday in Blogtober

Vol Junkies 

Pigskin Pathos 

Rocky Top Talk 

Bleeding Orange 

Gate 21

Losers With Socks

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Lane Kiffin, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, Tim Tebow | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The 2009 Big Orange Roundtable. Vol II

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 22, 2009

This weeks host is the Third Saturday in Blogtober. As always the same rules apply. They ask some question and I and other blogs will answer them. So let’s go to the Roundtable!

1. We will start with an easy one.  Last week, our beloved Rock was relocated across the street to make room for a new building on campus.  What are your thoughts on the Rock’s relocation?

While I was sad the see the Rock was being moved I understand the reasons why. Tennessee needs the new student health center and it’s beneficial to everyone.

2(a).  Wednesday is the beginning of SEC Media Days in Birmingham, which usually signifies that the season is just around the corner.  What would you prefer that Coach Lane Kiffin do this week: Speak up or shut up?

STFU! Don’t say anything stupid be kind with your answers and say “No comment” a lot.

2(b).  If you could take back one thing that Coach Kiffin has done or said to this point, what would it be?

Wow that’s a hard on. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kiffin (and his hot wife) but damn. Anywho calling Urban Meyer was stupid. I realize that he said to fire up fan base but it was stupid nonetheless.

kiffin dumb

3.  The biggest news of last week on the football front was that seemingly our entire receiving corps is in the infirmary. Austin Rogers is lost for the year, Denarius Moore is going to miss several games at a minimum, and Gerald Jones has an injured wing that may cause him to miss some games.  Although it seems like it is time to hit the panic button, is there a way out of this for the Vols?

I’m not worried about it because even though I like Rogers he dropped more his share of passes. I know that’s a crappy thing it type but it’s true. I wish him the best and I do hope the NCAA grants him another year of eligibility. We have Nu’Keese Richardson, Quintin Hancock & Brandon Warren. All of whom I believe will be ready to play.

I also think we will get Gerald Jones by the second or third game of the season. Of course if Crompton is as bad as he was last year, will it really matter?

4. Basketball recruit Josh Selby decommitted from the Vols over the weekend, and many suspect it is because he wants to play for a Nike school.  Tennessee is an Adidas school, and there is speculation that future sponsorship money with Nike may be at stake if Selby doesn’t go to a Nike school like Kentucky.  This obviously has ramifications in all sports, so what do you make of all this? (NOTE: The NFL is a Reebok league, which is owned by Adidas.)

It’s funny that Selby is doing this because he was at the camp where LeBron was dunked on by a college player from Xavier University, who by the way is an Adidas school. Here is a link to a high def version of the video!!! Not the crappy cell phone version TMZ here.

LeBron gets dunked on.

Let’s look at one thing though. This kid committed when he was 16-years old. I’m not that surprised that he changed his mind…he’s 16 for goodness sakes. What is most disturbing is the fact he MIGHT feel pressured or “persuaded” by someone like “World Wide” William Wesley who as a rather public relationship with John Calipari. I think the bigger question should be: When will the NCAA ever investigate this guy?

Please remember to visit the sites of my fellow Big Orange Roundtable brethren and see their replys:

MoonDogSports.com

Vol Junkies

Pigskin Pathos

Rocky Top Talk

Bleeding Orange

Gate 21

Loser With Socks

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, LeBron James, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, Urban Meyer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

It’s time to kick off the 2009 Big Orange Roundtable

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 14, 2009

2009-BORt-Banner-Light-1

What you think one bad season was going to break-up the mighty roundtable? To that I say HA! <flips you the bird>

Before we begin I would like to welcome out newest Big Orange Roundtable members to the brotherhood: Vol Junkies, Pigskin Pathos & Bleeding Orange welcome aboard!

For those that aren’t familiar with the Roundtable I’m going to quote Moondog because he’s cool like that.

For those of you not familiar with the roundtable, each week leading up to the start of the season one of the participating sites will serve as the host, asking questions for the other members of the roundtable to answer.

As the week progresses and the member web sites answer the questions, we’ll post a link to their responses. This year nine sites will be discussing every aspect of the upcoming season and for Volunteer fans, it’s a great opportunity to present your views.

In addition to MoonDog Sports, the Big Orange Roundtable consists of the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, Vol Junkies, Pigskin Pathos, Rocky Top Talk, Bleeding Orange, Gate 21 and Losers With Socks.

At the end of the week after all of the sites have had a chance to respond, the host site will post a review with the best answers to the week’s questions.

We’re less than two months from Football Time in Tennessee so let’s get this year’s version of the Big Orange Roundtable kicked off.

Moondog and his awesome site, MoonDogSports.com, are the first blog to host the Big Orange Roundtable. Let’s see the questions he has for us.

  1. In my mind, this season’s success — or failure — centers around one man, Jonathan Crompton. What is your opinion of Crompton’s ability to run Lane Kiffin’s pro-style offense? Can Crompton overcome his miserable 2008 season and lead the Vols to a winning record?

If Crompton can be the Crompton who played extremely well while filling in for Erik Ainge a few years ago then he should fine. However that being said I’m not like some of us who believe he will have a breakout season because he won’t. Crompton is not smart enough to be a great QB. I’m sorry but it’s true, but he does have the tools physically.

Crompton09

Trust me the caveman might be smarter

The story is that last year the Clawson offense was confusing and the players were not the right fit for it. From what I saw in the spring game, King Kiffin® has simplified the offense and kept it simple. (I’m sure Crompton is thankful for that.) Crompton was productive in the spring game and Stephens was also productive.

I believe Crompton can lead the VOLS to a winning record but not by himself. There will have to be a lot of hand holding on Kiffin’s part for Crompton to succeed. If Crompton doesn’t succeed then for the love of God, yank him and put Stephens in.

  1. Last season, the kicking game was mediocre at best, and the special teams — especially the punt coverage unit — was a disaster. Daniel Lincoln returns as the kicker and Chad Cunningham will return as the punter. What are you thoughts about the Vols kicking game and special teams?

The main reason I believe the kicking game was in disarray is because some former coach <cough Phil Fulmer cough> didn’t believe in having a special teams coach. Well that’s been rectified. With the addition of Eddie Gran more time can be spent on special teams and with the kickers. I believe this to be a major factor and I believe that Lincoln Logs and Cunningham will be just fine this coming season.

  1. Tennessee’s offensive line was thought to be a strength in 2008, but like the rest of the offensive unit, didn’t perform well. What are your thoughts regarding the offensive line for 2009?

First let me start that last year our offensive line couldn’t block their way out of a Gymboree. I know this might sound like a cop out but again I think Clawson had something to do with this. I know offensive linemen are considered to be smarter than other players but after looking at some of the schemes from year I believe some bio chemists couldn’t figure what he wanted to run.

I believe this year the line should be much improved which will also help in other areas of the game such as QB and the running game.

  1. Tennessee finished 5-7 last season, a huge disappointment for a team expected to perform much better. How do you believe the Vols will finish in 2009?

Eight & four. We will lose to Bama, Florida, Ole Piss and Georgia. We should win the rest of our games hands down. For once we have an easy schedule with only four road games.

That’s it for this weeks Roundtable be sure to check the other blogs to see their answers to these questions.

3rd Saturday in Blogtober

MoonDogSports.com

Vol Junkies

Pigskin Pathos

Rocky Top Talk

Bleeding Orange

Gate 21

Loser With Socks

Posted in cromptonites, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

It’s the Lane Kiffin Show

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 24, 2009

I did not create this, however it’s funny as hell.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, Tennessee Volunteers, The Lane Kiffin Show | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The rise of King Kiffin on Twitter

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 21, 2009

TweeterKiffin

Now that Lane Kiffin has proven that either he or his staff will use any kind of technology to get him and the school in trouble, I’ve taken drastic measures and I’ve taken his Twitter privileges away. From here on out if he feels the need to twitter then he has to go through me and I’ll post it under the name King Kiffin.

I’ve actually been doing this for a couple of weeks because his 140 Twitters are extremely boring. (Watching game film.) Mine will be funnier and there won’t be some dumb ass assistant writing them. Personally I would like to see Layla register for a Twitter account.

I keep expecting to see something like this on Lane’s ramblings:

Got up this morning, got caught violating NCAA rules again. Caught wife in bed with Bruce Pearl.

Or this:

LaneKiffinUT@BrucePearl: LOL I Kno! Why do they call us the Volunteers if we get paid, right? g2g, don’t tell Pat about my twitter account! ROTFL!

I picture Kiffin being wheeled away from Knoxville, strapped down to a hand truck, with a mask over his face to prevent him talking.

Somewhere in a dark chamber Al Davis is laughing maniacally. And as soon as someone finds him, changes his soiled britches, brings him back upstairs and tells him about this he’ll laugh even harder.

So if want to start follow King Kiffin on Twitter feel free to if all else fails it will at least be funnier than Ron Zook’s babblings.

Posted in dumbass, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Ron Zook, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers, Twitter, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

An open letter to Ariel Alejo

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 19, 2009

Dear Ariel Alejo

While I’ll openly admit that King Kiffin’s® comments that were made about the very school which you are the principal of, Pahokee High School, was stupid and wrong. Please understand that Kiffin is a dumbass at times but he’s our dumbass so we have to love him. (Unless he doesn’t win)

Now the comments were made on February 4th & King Kiffin® has long since apologized for them. Somehow you didn’t get the memo and ordered assistant coach Gran of the school property on May 4th during a recent recruiting visit. And then you removed that Gator logo from your gay website how convenient…

Well King Kiffin® used his political pull and Coach Gran will be at the practice today along with the assistant mayor of Pahokee. You see the assistant mayor is a man about things and realizes that King Kiffin® made an apology not once but twice and that is good enough for him. He also sees where this hurting the kids in your school.

“I don’t think the words were from the heart,” Crawford said of Kiffin’s comments from the recruiting celebration. “I think he was caught up in the minute and just said something. I don’t think it came from his heart. I really don’t. I’ve done things like that myself. After saying them, you find out what you said and how it affects the community or a person you either said them to or about.”

I realize this is probably embarrassing for you but remember King Kiffin® owns your school and you’re just his little bitch, so please get use to it. Learn from it and learn to love it. Fear the Kiffin.

So in closing think about these words and suck it.

Sincerely,

YMSWWC.com

Posted in Florida Sucks, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Pahokee High School, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bruce Pearl attempts to sway Layla Kiffin?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 29, 2009

We all know Bruce Pearl has a smoking hot girlfriend. But does he have his eyes set on smoking hot mother of three Layla Kiffin

Clay Travis reports that the energetic basketball coach was asked at a Tennessee alumni reception about how he was getting along with King Kiffin©, who was also in attendance, and Pearl had this to say: 

“I’m trying to date his wife. But that’s not working out too good.” 

God bless Pearl and his creepy advances. I like Bruce Pearl’s chances with Layla Kiffin better than Lane Kiffin’s chances against Florida this year.

Ordinarily an off the cuff remark such as this one should be taken as good nature ribbing. But remember King Kiffin© was annoyed when Layla was Google searched by professional internet masturbators. Will Pearl feel King Kiffin’s wrath via kick in his horny balls? Could we blame Kiffin if he did that? But they appear to be getting along just fine and received a standing ovation at the event. 

Another fun factoid: As a Florida Gator undergrad, Layla was a member of the notorious Zeta Tau Alpha sorority, which counts America’s Sideline Princess Erin Andrews as one of its members.

Honestly, if she had a Tom Selleck mustache, I’d still hit it.

Posted in Bruce Pearl, Erin Andrews, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Grading the Tennessee Vols spring game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 20, 2009

crompton09

Due to the overwhelming interest in Coach “Visor-Boy 2.0″ Kiffin’s first year as the Tennessee football, I’ve decided to issue a report card for the annual spring game. Whether the grades pan out during regular season play will remain to be seen. 

Quarterbacks: C 

In an alternate universe Crompton won the Heisman last year. However we live and breathe in this universe. Crompton has lost some weight and appears more mobile but he is still bobbling snaps and throwing interceptions. For someone that is coming wrist surgery junior Nick “Ginger Haired Warrior” looked average but that could be a good sign and Nick “Huge Hands” Stephens looked uptight and anxious. No QB could get into a rhythm but that isn’t their fault after all this is the spring game we’re talking about. 

Running Backs: A 

Creer who? Hardesty looked sharp amd Poole proved he will be a factor in the new offensive system. Toney Williams emerged as a surprisingly fast power back. Let’s not forget there are two special running backs coming in the summer as well. 

Receivers: B- 

Gerald Jones is back and looked good even with a sore hand. Hancock proved to be a great practice player however that needs to show up in the fall. Denarius Moore and Brandon Warren closed strong. Of course Stocker dropped a sure touchdown it wouldn’t be a game with a dropped pass by Stocker. 

Offensive Line: C- 

While the Vols ran the ball well, pass protection was still an issue. Jarrod Shaw and Cody Pope (who id from my old stomping grounds of Greenville, SC) are fighting for a starting spot but neither could set themselves apart from one another. Cody Sullins is the big surprise. Let’s hope it translates to game play. 

Defensive Line: A 

Chris Walker is a beast and Monton Hughes is a special player. Expect great things from this group in the season. 

Linebackers: C- 

Rico McCoy shall shine even brighter this year. 

Defensive Backs: C 

It’s hard to tell how this group will truly do. Brent Vinson didn’t play because of a recent shoulder surgery and Berry is recovering from a shoulder surgery. However Raines and Dennis Rogan are improving in great strides. This group would have earned a high grade if Berry and Vinson were healthy. 

Special Teams: C- 

They ain’t looking so special. Daniel Lincoln Logs is struggling with consistency however punter Cunningham is looking better. 

Coaches Spouse: A+ 

ven though I didn’t see her I’m sure Layla Kiffin is the only woman I know who has mysterious background music (Pretty Woman Van Halen’s version) playing everywhere she goes.

Posted in coach o, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Peyton and Kenny…someday your ears will bleed too

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 6, 2009

Here is a video of the laser armed QB known at Peyton Manning singing something….with that traitor whore Kenny Chesney at some bar called Sloppy Joe’s. Not to be outdone, Eli was spotted singing at a bar called “Manwich” with Weird Al Yankovic.

Posted in Kenny Chesney, Peyton Manning, Tennessee Volunteers, Traitor | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

By God I would play girls soccer for this man!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 3, 2009

There’s two type of people in this world: Winners & Losers. I firmly believe a coach is coach no matter the sport. So if Bruce Pearl would have decided to leave God’s country of Knoxville for bullet hole riddled Memphis I believe I already would have found his replacement. His name is Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death.

Kinahan resigned as the coach of the 6- and 7-year-old girls team (not pictured) before the season even started, due to a brilliantly worded e-mail that was sent to the player’s parents as a way for them to get too know him.

Kinahan isn’t some Starbucks sipping, Lexus SUV driving parent with no love and/or knowledge of the game, this man is the fucking reincarnation of General Patton! He doesn’t believe in the modern day way of how things are done with everyone getting a trophy and fruit-rollups during timeouts. I’d play girls soccer for this man in a heartbeat and afterwards he will lead the team as we storm a local Build-A-Bear and burn it to the ground! OOH-RAH Bitches!!!

This portion of the letter which addresses the sideline behavior of the parents is possibly some of the greatest teachings known to man since the Bible was written:

It is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.”

OK on a serious note here are other excerpts of the letter please keep in mind this team is comprised of 6- and 7-year-old girls:

OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7″ for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me.

I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines.

America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food.

Who’s with me? Go Green Death!”

The parents being the weak minded lemmings that they are did not buy into the coach’s philosophy and instead wined and bitched the coach into resigning.

From Kinahan’s resignation letter:

Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email.”

Just think after the season was over, Coach Kinahan planned on taking the team over to Africa to fight in a guerilla war. On the bright side, he’s now in the lead for the Memphis job.

It’s a shame. Those candy-ass faggots on Team 4 would’ve never known what hit ‘em. OOH-RAH!

Posted in Bruce Pearl, Girls Soccer, Green Death, Memphis Tigers, mentally challenged, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.