Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Anatomy of the Perfect Florida Fan

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 13, 2007


Well, you see the picture above. Those two are a great example of the perfect Florida fan. But what makes them perfect? Well here’s where it gets a little complicated but I’ll break it down for you. Fan by fan. Let’s start with the red head. Here’s the breakdown:

  • Jorts
  • The Mullet
  • Un-Tan
  • Holding cheap beer
  • Stupid smile
  • Gator Tank Top
  • The fact his Gator tank top is tucked into his jorts
  • Big belt buckle

OK, now for fan two, the balding one.

  • Again Jorts
  • Wife beater Gator shirt
  • Cheap sunglasses
  • Un-tan
  • Stupid orange wristband on forearm.
  • Holding cheap beer
  • Leather strap watch band (arm holding the beer)

These two are the epitome of the Gator fan greatness. At first I thought this photo was from the 70’s, but then I realized the red head is wearing something that looks to be a Lance Armstrong “Live Strong” bracelet. But it’s probably is more like the one below.

So it you’re going to the game this Saturday be on the lookout for these two, and avoid them. Even if you’re a Gator fan, avoid them.

Gator pride!! Go Mullets!!




8 Responses to “Anatomy of the Perfect Florida Fan”

  1. OMAR said

    I’m guessing that photo was taken in Jacksonville during the Florida Georgia weekend.

    Consider yourself invited to a Gator game in Gainesville, so you can get a fresh perspective on the Gator fans.

  2. Oh I know majority of the Florida fans don’t look like these two…well except the jorts part.

  3. abarclay12 said

    Jorts – I’ve never heard this word before, but I love it. I’m totally grossed out by jorts.

  4. Jorts were created by the hippies in Berkley. 😉

  5. Chuck Norris said

    Chuck Norris says – you are an idiot. Hippies in Berkeley have done a lot of things to fashion but this is not one of them. San Franciscans invented the Levis and would never cut them into shorts, too hard to pan for gold.

    Rednecks created jorts – again you are an idiot.

    Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer – Chuck Norris never cries.

  6. “Rednecks created jorts – again you are an idiot.”

    Actually that was joke between Aberclay and myself, but thanks for butting in.

    “San Franciscans invented the Levis”

    The Levis, you mean just Levis? Your syntax is horrid much like the homo-erotic fetish you have Chuck Norris.

  7. […] is such an ugly thing, especially when disrespecting the dead. Well, I guess if you dress like this to attend a football game, you just don’t have any excuse but to […]

  8. secreport said

    at least we look better than this guy:

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