Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

An Update on Florida’s Newest Mafia Member Tony “Hotlips For Tebow” Joiner.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 3, 2007

If you recall yesterday around lunchtime I posted a story about Tebows make-out buddy during the UT-Florida game and roommate Tony Joiner, who was arrested and charged with felony burglary Tuesday. Apparently the story is changing faster than Meyer can roll a Sweet Stinky Weed “cigarette” after a victory. I believe someone from the Florida Mafia is influencing some witnesses with bribes of full bongs and promises to have dinner at the Meyer house for a discounted rate of $500,000.

“Florida senior captain Tony Joiner was arrested early Tuesday for removing his girlfriend’s car from the property of Watson’s Towing in Gainesville. But the property owner is upset he was detained and says the whole thing was a misunderstanding more than a crime.

Stan Forron told Florida Today that if it was his decision, Joiner would just pay him the $76 he was owed for the towing and charges would be dropped. If State Attorney Bill Cervone agrees, that’s exactly what could happen.

“I don’t think (Gator athletes) should be treated any differently, better or worse,” Forron said. “The towing company just wants their money, not anything else. This kid should not have been arrested for what he did. To me, that’s just crazy.”

You’re right removing a car from impound isn’t a big deal when the tow bill is paid for, but this isn’t just any car, it’s his “girlfriend’s” car which means must be Tebows.

Cervone has the discretion to drop the charges, if he doesn’t see reason to continue. The fact that Forron doesn’t want Joiner to be charged could increase the chance the Gator star’s legal issues will not end up in court.

“I will consider the victim’s wishes and make the decision as to what to do based on that and all other factors involved,” Cervone said told Florida Today.

Florida coach Urban Meyer said after practice Tuesday night he was “still evaluating” the situation and hadn’t made a decision on Joiner’s status for Saturday’s 8:28 p.m. game at top-ranked LSU on CBS, which could have major implications both in the SEC and nationally. Joiner will not practice with the team until a decision is made, however.

“I think in his head he wasn’t trying to do anything wrong,” said Gators quarterback Tim Tebow, who is also Joiner’s roommate. “Yes, I think he should (play).”

Well of course you think he should play, you’re his room mate and team mate. I’m pretty sure Meyer will let him play, we all know how he is the strict disciplinarian. Strict meaning suspended for 10 minutes one game.

According to a Gainesville Police Department incident report, teammate and fellow senior safety Kyle Jackson drove Joiner to the towing company but never entered the gate.

Forron says that Joiner had actually talked to the dispatcher who was working early Tuesday morning and had made arrangements to pick up the car. The employee left to get some food and the gate to the company was left open. Joiner showed up to pay the towing bill, waited for some time and got impatient and decided to go ahead and take the car and worry about the bill later.

But another employee noticed the car being removed and called the police. Forron claims a worker at Watson’s Towing told the Gainesville Police not to charge Joiner, that the company just wanted the money Joiner was supposed to pay.”

Uh huh rrriiiggghhhtttt. Around 90% of the time, if that was true of course, that’s what would have happen. I have a feeling it didn’t exactly happen like that.

Forron said he was preparing to go out of town so he was at the towing company early Tuesday morning and left the gate unlocked when he left. Around 4:30 a.m., Joiner was spotted removing the car and stopped by an employee.”

Wait, in one statement the owner said Joiner talked to the dispatcher who was working early Tuesday morning and another employee left the gate open while on a food errand, and now it was the owner who conveniently “left” the gate unlocked. Which is which? The Florida Mafia has this poor man so shaken up even he can’t get the story he was told to say straight.

In the GPD arrest report obtained by Florida Today, Officer Robert Concannon wrote: “According to witnesses, the defendant did commit a burglary by forcibly (pushing an electric gate open) entering a fenced compound with the intent to commit an offense therein. The compound was not open to the public and the defendant was not licensed or invited to enter.”

Nah can’t be the gate was left “open” by the owner or someone…

The statement also reads that Joiner was attempting to pull the gate shut when he was stopped by a witness. Joiner then drove the car back inside the gate and waited for the police to arrive.”

The GPD arrest report also states that Joiner was talking on a cell phone when Concannon arrived and said, “I am probably about to go to jail ‘cuz I did push the gate open.”

Well, this is great now Joiner is contradicting what the owner claims happened. Meyer better get a handle on this, no Mafia of the Gators should look this dysfunctional.

Joiner also told Concannon on the way to jail that he intended to pay the bill but got impatient.

As far as Forron is concerned, he’s angry Joiner was arrested.

“What he did was wrong,” Forron said. “We’re not saying he’s an angel and shouldn’t pay. But why all of a sudden is he being arrested for something that happened numerous times throughout the years and nobody else has been arrested?”

So you mean to tell me that for numerous times over the years you’ve had people come and break in and take cars? Have you ever reported this to the Gunsville Gainesville police department? Or was this some scam concocted by a Florida booster to funnel money into the “Gator Football Herb Garden”?

Joiner, from Haines City, was released on his own recognizance on Tuesday afternoon. Under the conditions he cannot have any contact with Watson’s Towing and he has a curfew from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. except for school or work.”

I love this response by King Meyer, it’s bongoliciously great.

“I know college kids do stuff,” Meyer said. “I’d rather not (have them go out) after games but I’m not a police officer either. So I can’t lock them down completely, I just lecture and teach. There are a lot of people out at 2 a.m. I’d rather our guys not be out.”

Here’s an idea Meyer try FUCKING DISCIPLINING them!!!! For Spurrier’s God’s sake, you’re the coach, try putting the bong down and acting like one off the field for a change. No wonder the following incidences have happened under your regime:

  • Offensive lineman Ronnie Wilson was charged with two felonies and a misdemeanor in April following a gun incident near campus. Wilson pleaded no contest to battery and discharging a firearm and was suspended indefinitely from the team.
  • Linebacker Dustin Doe was charged in April with fighting in public after a brawl at a downtown parking garage. The misdemeanor charge was later dismissed.
  • Safety Jamar Hornsby had a sworn complaint filed against him in April after he allegedly tossed a man onto the hood of a woman’s car in a parking lot.
  • Safety Dorian Munroe was charged with felony theft in May when he removed a University Police boot from his car and put it in his trunk. The charge was later dropped.
  • Safety John Curtis was arrested in May on a probation violation stemming from his failure to complete five days of community service for an alcohol possession charge.
  • Cornerback Jacques Rickerson was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession in May. His case was resolved without legal punishment. Running back Brandon James faced a similar charge in June. He was sentenced to six months’ probation and community service.
  • Rickerson and James were suspended for Florida’s season opener.
  • In February 2006, wide receiver Kenneth Tookes accidentally fired a gun into an occupied apartment, while receiver Andre Caldwell and cornerbacks Reggie Lewis and Dee Webb stood nearby. And defensive tackle Marcus Thomas was dismissed from the team last season after failing three drug tests.

Now maybe someone at Florida should teach Meyer that no matter how brilliant of a coach you are on the field, the players still need guidance off the field as well.

So I profess on this day 10/03/07.

TtT

One Response to “An Update on Florida’s Newest Mafia Member Tony “Hotlips For Tebow” Joiner.”

  1. Jai Eugene said

    the blackberry is gold

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