Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Michigan Hires Rich Rodriguez! Country Roads Lead to Ann Arbor.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 17, 2007


and they heard his cries, but only after they tried hiring 2 other people.

A funny thing happened while I was sleeping during the Pittsburgh-Jacksonville game Michigan hired a new coach. Rich Rodriguez who was the third choice for the Wolverines will be from here on out known as the Big Eleven Ten’s Nick Saban.

Just hours after losing to Pitt and having any and all national championship dreams crushed, then West Virginia head coach said “The impact of your name being thrown about is sometimes a little overrated. It probably makes for a lot of angst among families and we don’t want that, sorry but you all are stuck with me here.” Now two weeks later, Rodriguez is the new coach for the University of Michigan and he is packing up his wife that looks like an ex stripper and hitting the trail.

“I am thrilled to have Rich Rodriguez as Michigan’s new coach,” athletic director Bill Martin wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Sunday. “Rich brings an exciting brand of football to Michigan Stadium. We welcome the entire Rodriguez family to Ann Arbor.”

Rodriguez gathered his players together around 1:30 PM Sunday to tell them that he is leaving to coach in a better conference and that he would have left last year except he wasn’t man enough to take an SEC job that required the wearing of the hounds tooth crown of thorns. This took less than ten minutes.

“The players are upset because he said he’s going to leave before the bowl game,” James Dykes, the father of West Virginia defensive tackle Keilen Dykes. “At least coach them in the bowl game. James just called to tell us and I know he is very upset about this.”

Mr. Dykes I don’t blame Rodriguez for leaving before the bowl game. Who wants to go into a high pressure job like Michigan after having the shit beat out of you by Oklahoma? It would be madness to stay.

Assistant head coach Bill Stewart and assistant head coach Calvin Magee ran West Virginia’s one-hour practice on Sunday. Rodriguez was not present. “We tried to be excited,” defensive end Keilen Dykes said. “We’re all hurting right now, but we can’t cry.”

When Nick Saban left Miami after declaring his love for the organization and that he wasn’t going to be Alabama’s’ new coach, I don’t recall any of the Dolphins players “being hurt” so buck up and act like a man about it.

Theoretically this is a good move for Rodriguez. Instead of being in an incredibility weak conference like the Big East he’s simply moving to just the semi-incredibility weak conference that is the Big Eleven Ten. He even gets to keep the same wardrobe. After all both schools use the same colors, sure Michigan calls their piss yellow “maize” but that doesn’t change the fact it’s piss yellow.

Whether this is a good hire for Michigan is hard to say. They were getting desperate. During Michigan’s search, LSU’s Les Miles and Rutgers’ Greg Schiano both said they were staying put at their schools. It should be noted that it’s rumored that former Ohio State QB and ESPN tool Curt Herbstreet might have sabotaged any chances Michigan had at getting Miles.

One thing is for sure and that is Rodriguez better beat Ohio State within his first three seasons or he’s done at Michigan.

So I profess on this day 12/17/07.

TtT

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3 Responses to “Michigan Hires Rich Rodriguez! Country Roads Lead to Ann Arbor.”

  1. MeanAss said

    That arrogant prick who thinks of noone but himself and his stripper ass wife, who politely has his balls tucked away in her purse, ain’t going to do shit with those slow ass players at Michigan. Give him 3 years and Michigan will be looking for another head coach. Then his stripper ass wife will have to strip and give head to football players and whoever to support the idiot. Don’t think so?? Well, Pitt was 4-7 and went to Morgantown and whipped his ass and now he’s not playing for the Natl Title, is he?? He had a cupcake schedule in the Big East and never could go undefeated like a good coach would have. How long you think Michigan will put up with this arrogant shitass who can’t coach. Just blitz his team and he loses it,,,he can’t coach against the blitz and pressure defense. Ask South Florida.

  2. debra white said

    rich is deffinately not a respected person anylonger.

  3. debra white said

    Rich Rodriquez is no longer considered a West Virginian. As a West Virginian who migrated to Florida we have morality and would not leave people hanging like he did. It is called respect, character, morality, and being a decent person. He is no longer welcome in this state. I still have a home in West Virginia and we don’t want his kind here any longer…..

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