Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

This Is Why The Grizzlies Suck!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 1, 2008

Ok, so I am a Grizzlies fan. I am proud to be a fan of my home town team. Memphis has been the “Susan Lucci” of pro sports cities for a long time, so when the Grizzlies moved in 2001, I was hooked instantly. The franchise has had some success since moving, making the playoffs twice. But when the team has been bad, it’s been horrible. I would hope those of you still reading this post (if you didn’t move on after reading this was a post about a sorry NBA franchise) would allow me to vent. After all, Thomas created this blog to show “how ALL sports teams suck”…

Today, the Grizzlies traded star forward Pau Gasol to the Los Angeles Lakers for (drumroll please) center Kwame Brown, guard Javaris Crittenton, guard Aaron McKie, the rights to Pau’s younger brother Marc, and first round picks in the 2008 and 2010 draft. According to reports, the Grizzlies traded an unhappy star while in his prime and got cap relief in the process.

Let me translate what the Grizzlies got in return: the poster child of broken confidence and draft busts (Brown), another guard that they did not need (Crittenton), a guard who is old and on the inactive list (McKie), Gasol’s younger brother (who couldn’t even do squat against private school competition while going to school in Memphis), and 2 draft picks with a franchise that has been more miss than hit when it comes to draft picks. What the hell??? The Grizz might as well have just asked the Lakers for some bags of rice with all the magic beans they just got from LA. The team has been shopping Gasol for a while now and was rumored to go to the Bulls for a few actually good players (Gordon, Deng) but the best we could get back was Kwame Brown??? I think Woody Paige would have been a better fit for the team’s up tempo style, plus he is just as much of a stiff as Kwame Brown.

This is a franchise that doesn’t know what the hell they are doing right now. It is at best no more of an unmitigated disaster than post WWII Dresden. The team plays in a brand new arena with decent sight lines, you can get a $5 ticket to watch a game, and yet the team struggles to draw 10,000. When did the team become the Atlanta Hawks???

So what now??? I say they trade guard Mike Miller, build around Rudy Gay and Mike Conley and go from there. I am calling for owner Mike Heisley to sell the franchise to someone locally who will give a damn about the team. The team cannot relocate because of a city-franchise agreement, so sell to FedEx Founder/CEO Fred Smith, rename the team the Express or something related to package delivery, and call it a day. Or they could name the team the Bullets, since there’s millions of those flying around the city (though the Wizards may have an issue with that). The point being is that crap rolls downhill, and even though I said in the About the Wirters section that there are 547 Grizzlies fans worldwide, at this rate by this season’s end there will be 329. I will still be one, if only because my blood pressure is already high enough, so what the hell would a few more points matter???

As for what to do with the Pau Gasol jersey that I bought a few years ago (caught it on sale from Marshall’s when the NBA switched from Reebok to adidas apparel), I do have a solution, because we are a solutions-oriented blog:

p2010090.jpg p2010091.jpg

*Disclaimer: My dog Jake were harmed in any way for the making of this post. This is not Bad Newz Kennels in VA and am not in any way, shape, or form connected with Michael “Ookie” Vick, his child molesting little brother Marcus, or any other dog fighting members of the Vick family…


6 Responses to “This Is Why The Grizzlies Suck!!!”

  1. zigzag said

    Pau hit the lottery. Leaves the Griz for the Lakers, leaves Memphis for LA. He just got out of prison after serving a seven year sentence.

  2. Joel said

    Pau is used to getting 20-25 shots a game. Kobe is used to getting as many shots as he damn well pleases. I wonder how this is gonna work once Pau plays with the “Black Hole” classified as Kobe…

  3. zigzag said

    Jackson has the knack of keeping that straight and Kobe in tow. There was nobody else to take the shots in Memphis. The current Lakers have no business being in contention in the West. With Pau they will step up a couple of notches after Jackson works him in and he gets several games behind him. Jackson and Mike Kupchak are to be congratulated for giving up nothing for a proven, top grade NBA player, who will be able to give them the punch to strongly contend for the West and the NBA title. The unfortunate part is that Pau wasted seven years in Memphis where he was born dead.

  4. Joel said

    The fact that Pau got all those shots in Memphis and was able to show his talent is why he was so valuable. Lots of teams wanted him, and the fact that the Lakers got him in his prime is a testament to that organization and shows how ass backwards the Grizzlies ownership really is.

    On the court, I am still gonna wait and see how this plays out. On paper, Gasol and Bynum on the front line along with Kobe is a killer lineup, but I still will not count out San Antonio, Phoenix, Dallas, and even New Orleans. The West is wide open. I think that a full training camp with Kobe, Pau, and Bynum will really show what the Lakers will be able to do. I still have my doubts about a certain All-World 2 guard with an affinity to hotel workers (allegedly)…

  5. You brought up a good point… why do the Grizz insist on getting every fucking SG/SF on the market? They haven’t had a true center since Big Country hung up the Chuck Taylors. I stopped pulling for them after the 2nd time they were swept in the playoffs. Gasol was one of my faves though. Oh well…

  6. zigzag said

    @4 Agreed on Dallas etc. It appears though, that with Pau, the Lakers have improved their chances substantially.

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