Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

True Wastes of Money…Or Perfect Gifts for Nutjob Cowboy Fans…

Posted by Joel Jackson on April 18, 2008

While out at Katy Mills Mall here n Houston (I mean, Katy), I went into the Dallas Cowboys Store to see what the marketing geniuses from the Cowboys have out now. As soon as I walked in, I saw this on a t-shirt:

That’s right, for only $19.99 you can get a Tony Romo for President shirt. Now I know Romo has a star quality about him, but Tony Romo for President??? Get this, the guy working there said that they can’t keep enough of these shirts in stock, either in-store or online. He didn’t like it when I asked when they would put out a Jessica Simpson=Yoko Ono t-shirt.

So as I look for other stuff, I see this total wate of fabric:

Notice T.O.’s arms are quite short on this t-shirt. The irony is that his arms get that short when he sees a linebacker about to crush him and he drops a pass. I asked the guy if I could get one special made, but instead of popcorn, could they put in hundreds of Oxycontin that he (accidentally) overdosed on. At least that got a chuckle from the guy behind the counter.

So then I finally saw the nail in the coffin. For little girls who want to grow up to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, there’s this:

That’s right: for the uber low price of $49.99, your little princess can have one of these limited edition Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie dolls. Of course, they all look like a bunch of trannys with bad weave jobs and chicken legs, which is totally not like the real Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. I asked the guy if they shipped a lot of these to Eddie Murphy’s house and he fell out of his chair.

Jerry Jones is truly a marketing genius. He needs to be, plastic surgery and Botox can be expensive from what I understand…

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3 Responses to “True Wastes of Money…Or Perfect Gifts for Nutjob Cowboy Fans…”

  1. TideDruid said

    Crud, I was planning on making a “Jones must have a big botox bill” joke, but you had to save it for the very last sentence.

  2. MoonDog said

    LOL – I want my own doll-like likeness of the entire Cowboys cheerleading squad. I reserve the right not to discuss what I intend to do with them.

  3. zigzag said

    Romo for President? By the time that over hyped, pussy chaser leads that bunch of Cowboy clowns to another collapse, those Dogcatcher Ts will be out.

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