Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Georgia Players Mourn for UGA VI by Getting Arrested and Kicking Ass

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 2, 2008

I mourned the loss of UGA VI with her. Time and time again.

I can fully understand the university of Georgia football players being upset after the loss of their beloved Uga VI. What I don’t understand is the strange mourning ritual 3 players have endured.

The first two are Guard Justin Anderson and tackle Trinton Sturdivan. They are now are facing misdemeanor battery charges. According to the Po Po they were charged after an incident involving two women outside a dormitory. One of the players allegedly touched the stomach of one of the women, who is pregnant.

First off, if she’s pregnant and hanging around the dorms, she’s probably just visiting from Florida. Secondly, they could suspend everyone but Knowshon from the first two games and still cover the spread.

However sending flowers would have been sufficient.

“It is a misdemeanor allegation and the boys deny that they have done anything wrong,” said Ed Tolley, the attorney representing Anderson and Sturdivant. “We’ll have to let the courts sort it out.”

The third player, sophomore defensive end Michael Lemon, has been named as a suspect in a weekend altercation beat down at an Athens apartment complex, in which a Georgia student suffered an eye injury and head trauma.

If Lemon is indeed arrested, that would make him the seventh Georgia football player to be charged with a crime since the end of last season.

Usually UGA players stick to domestic violence…looks like they are branching out a little here.

According to the police report:

“Lemon punched [the victim] five times … and several witness advised that Mr. Lemon’s friends ‘huddled’ around Mr. Lemon as he was punching [the victim].”

The report also states the victim’s “left eye was noticeably swollen and he also had a bump on his head from where Mr. Lemon hit him. [The victim] advised that his vision was blurry from his left eye. It appeared as though [the victim] also had a concussion from the altercation.”

UGA associate athletics director Claude Felton was shocked to learn of the arrests and coach Richt was conveniently “out of town” so he couldn’t comment.

“Under Athletic Association policy, a misdemeanor offense will fall to a coach’s discretion in terms of disciplinary action,” Felton said. “I’m sure Coach Richt will gather all the facts and make a decision at some point.”

All this has caused Billy Bob Bammer to stop with the harvest of Coca plants with the Columbia Cartel and make an official statement:

“Listen UGA. Stop trying to one up Bama, we are better than you (except on the football field). We still have a lead at this point and will win the convict championship ’08 (sorry Tennessee). We appreciate your effort UGA but 10 arrests in 13 months cannot be beat so take that dawgs. RTR.”

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