Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Jimmy Clausen: Notre Dame QB, Drinker and Fashion Faux Pas

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 6, 2008

"Hey, who ordered the Queer Eye makeover?" (chugs two beers) "We're the Party Brigade. We're here to play some drinking games."

The golden child of Notre Dame might be some trouble yet again. Jimmy Clausen the younger brother of 1 ½ (Rick gets the ½) Tennessee QB Gods Casey and Rick, has already had one brush with the law you know for that little “bootlegging” charge last year.

Well, for the second time in a year, Notre Dame Quarterback Jimmy Clausen may have to explain his alleged participation in a situation involving alcohol & at least two other teammates might be doing some explaining with him.

See that lovely picture? Why that’s the golden boy participating in something called the ‘Beer Olympics’ or Jimmy is joining the Bloods one or the other.

Notre Dame stated they will investigate possible school code violations after these photos all over the frigging place. They appear to depict Clausen, teammates Brian Smith and James Aldridge and one other individual getting their drink on.

Going 3-9 will drive a person to drinking that I have to believe.

I imagine every drinking party in Notre Dame somehow ends in a “Rudy!” chant.

Don’t Worry Irish fans Notre Dame is already developing a cover story even though there is beer on the table in front of the players, the photos do not show the players actively consuming alcohol.

Nevertheless at least two of the players would not be of legal drinking age: Clausen, who does not turn 21 until Sept. 21, and Smith, who does not reach 21 until 2010. Aldridge turned 21 on July 6.

“The office of Residence Life will investigate possible violations of university policies when it is made aware of them, such as in this case,” Notre Dame school spokesman Dennis Brown said Monday.

“I used bad judgment in being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I’ve learned from my mistake,” Clausen said during his first media appearance after the citation in August 2007.

Well he still hasn’t learned any fashion sense either. Remember when he arrived in a limo at the College Football Hall of Fame, hair immaculately spiked and product-filled, sunglasses on & Bling blinged-up?

He almost made Brady Quinn look straight.

My problem wasn’t that he was drinking but trying to imitate the Ultimate Warrior while wearing a fake satin baseball jacket is pathetic. Since when are fake satin jackets from the 1980’s making a comeback?

MAYBE he can drink, but does he have Tebow’s miraculous healing powers? I think not.

Jimmy Clausen should pause before every decision he needs to make and think “What would Tim Tebow do?” He should then circumcise something.

Has anyone ever set himself up for failure more than Jimmy Clausen? At the HOF press conference, Jimmy flashed his HS championship rings and announced (Paraphrasing) that “he would win another four at Notre Dame.” I’m sure Beano Cook nutted in his bag of Werthers Original, but I couldn’t believe anyone could be that stupid.

Time for the Guardian Angels defense. Matt Leinart sees nothing wrong with this, except the fruity wardrobe.

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12 Responses to “Jimmy Clausen: Notre Dame QB, Drinker and Fashion Faux Pas”

  1. […] Young Clausen….comb-over douche […]

  2. dereksportswriter7 said

    It was funny today watching Coach Weiss getting annoyed/anxious in interviews when trying to explain the behavior of these underage kids. He first tried to discredit websites that had confirming pictures, and seemed to act like an overall ass about the issue.

  3. Dave said

    Jimmy Clausen’s an arrogant punk. Charlie Weis is an arrogant fat load of conceit. They’re perfect for each other. Where does that morbidly obese slob of a coach get off being so dismissive of the press. Hey fatso, you’re no Lou Holtz. When a you a couple national championships you can act like God, until then, suck in that flab-a-lanche wipe that smirk off your fat pie-hole and answer the question you load!

  4. rob chiarello said

    Has anyone noticed that Clausen has had a nose job?

  5. Alex said

    Everyone drinks. The people who are trying to make a big deal about this are just jealous of his success, and want to bring him down.
    I think Jimmy Clausen is awesome, and I’m pretty sure he threw THREE TD-passes this last weekend. I don’t see the rest of you playing collegiate football, so you’re basically speaking where you have no place to.

    Get over it, Jimmy is the shit.
    The end.

  6. ooohhhh three touchdowns against a team that lost to a 1-AA school the week before. Impressive…not. And for the record I don’t drink.

  7. Joel said

    I drink, but I know better than to wear a satin jacket. It’s not 1984. What’s next, Choose Life T-shirts a la Wham???

  8. beckham said

    all of u shut the fuck up jimmy is the shit he can do what ever he wants

  9. beckham said

    and fuck u dave

  10. “all of u shut the fuck up jimmy is the shit he can do what ever he wants”

    Except play for a team that has a chance to win

  11. JCarter said

    Beckham … THE IDIOT.

  12. RW said

    The way Jimmy Clausen acts and the way people have worded replies on this page about him tells me one thing- everyone here needs to grow up, especially Jimmy Clausen. THen Notre Dame needs to fire Charlie Weis and hire someone who can bring in the wins as well as some class back to ND.

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