Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September 9th, 2008

Vicious hit of the week

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2008

and probably the month or even the year…Steven Jackson meet Sheldon Brown

I never really believed in Satan until I saw this hit.

Posted in NFL, NFL Football, Philadelphia Eagles, Saint Louis Rams, Satan, Sheldon Brown, Steven Jackson | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Central Florida fans show their classy side

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2008

As some of you may or may not know, last Saturdays match up between Central Florida and South Florida was the last game of the series.

The South Florida Bulls nearly suffered what would have been a devastating loss in school history, but managed to escape with an overtime win.

The victory was especially gratifying for Grothe. (South Florida QB) On Saturday, he received hundreds of telephone calls and text messages after UCF fans got his cell number.

That’s what college kids do. I can live with that. What I find despicable is the fact that Grothe’s father received death threats and had to be protected by state troopers during the game, thankfully there were no incidents.

Grothe’s father, Matt Sr., received numerous calls, including a specific death threat that said: “Watch your backs. We can’t get to your [expletive] son, but we can get to you.”

Classy really classy Central Florida. Of course not all Central Florida fans are like that, only a select few hundred.

Ultimately it was Grothe’s son that got to the Knights.

“I probably like this one the best because I can’t stand them,” Grothe said. “I’m tired of everyone talking crap and not backing it up.

“Someone got hold of my phone number and I had a thousand missed calls and my voice mail was completely full and a couple hundred text messages. Basically one hundred text messages telling me to die.”

The funny thing is I don’t even think South Florida is the best team in the Big Least. I’ll be honest I was pulling for Central Florida wanting to see an upset and chaos in the polls. Had I known that someone actually threatened the QBs father to the point of him feeling the need to seek protection, I would have pulled for South Florida.

Stay classy Central Florida and double check O’Leary’s resume…twice.

Posted in Big East, Central Florida Knights, Conference USA, George O'Leary, South Florida Bulls | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Vince Young wants to try his sausage…seriously he does!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2008

Before Vince Young decided to quit on the Titians in last Sundays game, he went into the sausage business.

I think it’s a smart business move on his part. After all when throw 9 touchdowns and 18 interceptions like he did last year, one better have some other money making options.

Of course I question why someone who signed a $50 million contract would feel the need of sell sausages. Quick someone get me Jimmy Dean’s profits from last year. And is this better than Carson Palmer’s hotdog?

So to recap, Vince Young spent the off-season partying with a bunch of sweaty, shirtless guys and hammering out the kinks in his sausage business plan.

I guess Brady Quinn is the one who wrote up his workout plan.

Then again what do you expect from a guy who made a paper airplane out of his Wonderlic test?

No Shirt, No shoes, Sausage!

Back to my allegation about Vince quitting last Sunday, I’ll let The Tennessean take it from here.

He pushed away defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, who was trying to console him, and took a seat on the bench. When it was time for the Titans to take the field following a three-and-out by the Jaguars, Young appeared as if he didn’t want to go back in.

Collins began taking snaps before Fisher came over and appeared to gesture for Young to take the field. The coach later said a tight hamstring – not a reluctant quarterback – was the issue. Asked about it five times during his postgame news conference, Fisher never changed his story.

I was watching this game and when old man Kerry Collins was warming up and the crowd was cheering because they thought Young had been yanked from the game.

Young threw two horrible looking interceptions where one was returned for a TD. OF course Young being the leader that he is, has been blaming other members of the team rather than himself.

This is the latest of a string of troublesome incidents that involve Young. Since his rookie season he has shown 0% mental toughness that is required to be a NFL QB. Other players in the league respond well to constructive criticism but not Young. You have to constantly pat his back so he can at least try harder. Then there are rumors about him having Norm Chow fired and that strangle comment about thinking about retirement after his first season that should draw some concern among Titian fans. Maybe the Titans would be better off with Kerry Collins after all. I mean he is the reason they won yesterday.

Daunte Culpepper picked a terrible time to retire from the NFL.

Vince if you’re reading this and I know you are, finish up your sausage patty and read this e-mail that Ghetto Philosopher was written you.

Dear Vince,

Thank you for getting Norm Chow fired.


Ghetto Philosopher & the rest of the UCLA Fan base.

Posted in NFL, NFL Football, Norm Chow, Tennessee Titians, UCLA, Vince Young | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Are you feeling lonely, depressed and happen to be in the Los Angeles area? Then you too can “Rent a USC Song Girl”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2008

No this is some pimping scheme I’ve dreamed up, trust me I would happily take credit for it if that was the case.

This is truth I’m speaking about. All you have to do is fill out a request form pay $150.00 fee and bingo you can actually rent a USC song girl. I’m in just as long as there aren’t any extensive background checks.

The form is rather complicated with hard questions such as “What do you want the Song Girls to do?” Insert your own perverted joke here & add on wash and wax my car & then you can say you think like me.

The newest excuse for men who might be “looking” outside their marriage:

Honey, I didn’t buy a hooker, I rented her….you know like what they are doing over there at USC.

I do have one tiny question about this thing. Can I get volume discounts?

Posted in hooker, Pac 10, pimps, SoCal, southern cal, University of Southern Cal | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »