Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September 16th, 2008

Rich Brooks thinks Fulmer is another Bill Belichick

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2008

For the most part I admire Rich Brooks. He took a hapless bunch of losers and transformed them into the 7-5 Music City Bowl powerhouse that they are now. (At least until SEC play starts)

That’s why I’m shocked to find out that he actually accuses Tennessee of stealing signals from last year’s game.  From KNS

Chip Cosby of the Lexington Herald-Leader reported that this isn’t the first time that Kentucky has felt like they’ve been spied on. Last year during Kentucky‘s 54-50 four overtime loss to Tennessee, towels were placed around members of the staff in order to cover up signals.

“They were either getting them from the field or the press box,” Brooks said of MTSU. “They might have gotten some help from Tennessee. Tennessee had them last year.”

Click to enlarge

Let’s examine that comment. First why would we want to help MTSU defeat a SEC team? That wouldn’t be good for the conference. Second if you’re using the same signals from last year, that you believe to have been “stolen”, and you failed to change them, then that makes you one hell of an idiot. So change your signals, genius.

I wonder if we have been stealing signals for the past 27 years. I mean come on we all know there’s a vast conspiracy to keep Kentucky football down.

Sure Tennessee has dropped as a program but not down to THAT level. Maybe Brooks should realize with losses to teams like South Carolina, Florida, Miss State & Georgia, that his signals didn’t work so why would we need them? After all we won those games with the exception of Florida.

Then again last year’s game went into 4 overtimes and KenSucky hung 50 on us, maybe we needed the Cap’n Crunch decoder ring to decipher just what signals we supposedly had. Either way Kentucky will never be a football school. When people see the “KY” on their helmets they tend to think of lubricant. And of course after 27 years of being ass raped by Tennessee in football Rick Brooks maybe beginning to think the same.

Posted in Bill Belichick, dumbass, Kentucky Wildcats, Rich Brooks, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

And now a look at the AFC teams after week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2008

AFC East:

  • New England Patriots: No Brady no problem. Cassel the backup to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart while at SoCal takes the reigns and leads his team to 2-0. Hey Matt how does feel being benched knowing your backup who never played a college game is undefeated? Maybe this is your career highlight:

  • Buffalo Bills: Looking good guys. They were on the cusp all last year so they aren’t a fluke.
  • New York Jets: Couldn’t beat New England even though they have Brett Fa*** and New England was Brady’less. Welcome to the AFC Brett.
  • Miami Dolphins: Much improved over last year but are still winless.

AFC North:

  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Are still the team to beat.
  • Cleveland Browns: Are winless…what? Yes I’m afraid the team is suffering through a sophomore slump.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: Are horrible Marvin Lewis might want to start updating his resume. I wonder how crow tastes because he had to eat it after taking Chris Henry back.

  • Baltimore Ravens: Don’t expect to much them for the remaining of the season.

AFC South

  • Indianapolis Colts: Are in dire need to get the running game going.
  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Are winless…maybe they aren’t as good as everyone thought.
  • Tennessee Titans: Vince is still sulking because Kerry Collins a future Just For Men spokesman is playing just fine.
  • Houston Texans: Have been disrupted by Hurricane Ike so really to early to tell.

AFC West

  • San Diego Chargers: The Bolts are winless and that’s a shocker. Maybe God hates them this year.
  • Denver Broncos: God may hate the Bolts but he loves Jay Cutler.
  • Oakland Raiders: Lane Kiffin might as well pack his “Hang In There” kitten poster up. He’s done there.
  • Kansas City Chiefs: I like Herman Edwards but this is a bad team he might be Oakland’s next coach.

Posted in Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, cleveland browns, Denver Broncos, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, jacksonville jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Matt Leinart, miami dolphins, New England Patriots, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Diego Chargers, Tennessee Titans | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Witchcraft + Soccer = GGGGOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2008

I’m not a soccer person. I think I attempted to play soccer during gym class while in high school. I don’t watch soccer nor follow soccer. However I will not deny the fact that soccer players are indeed athletes.

That being said how cool is it that a soccer player was using witchcraft on the field in order to turn the match around? The outcome was not cool, not cool at all however maybe Phil Fulmer might want to try this on the sideline this weekend during the Florida game. God knows my beloved Vols will need all the help they can get.

A soccer player was using witchcraft during a match in eastern Congo sparked a riot that killed 13 people. A sad part of this story is that most of the victims were between the ages of 11 and 16. They were suffocated as panicked crowds ran for the exits during the mayhem.

The Congo Po Po tried to quell the mayhem that was taking place at Matokeo stadium by firing their semi-automatic rifles into the air and of course teargas. Yeah nothing like gunfire and teargas to smooth the already scared shitless soul.

The two local clubs involved were Socozaki and Nyuki System, both local rivals.

The goalkeeper tried to reverse the score line by using”fetishist” witchcraft spells. That’s when the riot broke out within the stadium. The players brawled and members of the crowd even attempted to stone the sorcerer.

For the record I believe Chris Angel is indeed a sorcerer.

Now that’s family entertainment.

“Fetishist” spells in Voodoo and certain central African religions involve using an inanimate object as the “fetish” and performing a ritual on it.

The fetish then becomes an organic vessel capable of performing tasks. Once the task is complete the spirit leaves the fetish and it reverts to its inanimate state once more.

Coach Fulmer, I hope we have a witchdoctor.

Posted in Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, Soccer, Tennessee Volunteers, The Congo, Voo Doo, Witchcraft | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »