Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September 17th, 2008

I thought Lisa Horne was the perfect woman for me…but alas I’m disappointed in her.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 17, 2008

Lisa Horne is a 2nd year sports writer for She also has a blog titled Straight Talk From the Left Coast which is immensely popular. She is also the first woman cover the Super Bowl. Lisa is also a graduate of SoCal. I slept with a SoCal grad once just in case some of you might be keeping score.

I thought we were meant to be together. We have so much in common it’s scary. Let’s take a look:

  • ♥♥♥ She hates Yankees fans. So do I! √
  • ♥♥♥ She bashes Notre Dame. Hey same here! √
  • ♥♥♥ She loves football. I’m feeling the love flow through me! √
  • ♥♥♥ She’s quick witted and her comments are “snarky” I’m snarkier but that’s OK! √

Yes I truly believed we were going to be together someday. After all with qualities like that what man wouldn’t be proud too take her home to mother and say “Yo Ma! Look at who I’m banging this week!”

Then I found out she was married and that dream died like the hopes of OJ Simpson being found not guilty of his latest “legal troubles.”

However I must confess I kept the dream alive after all 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Hence that’s why I live by one simple motto:

Marriage means commitment and so does insanity!©

When I found out I made her Top Ten Web Sites for Sports Trolls my heart skipped a beat…or that was some really bad chili I had for lunch.

Wait a sec…yep it was the chili.

Let’s go over some of the finer points of her article:

“Believe it or not, there are a lot of sports sites out there who attract this type of keyboard coward. After watching your team kick the crap out of another team and finishing a 12 pack, you need a place to go vent. Go talk some smack.

God forbid, no real man or woman would spout off the verbal diarrhea in person. Nope, these pillow-biters have to go on-line and spew their biting, albeit sometimes, comical take on current events, racially spiteful views, or just plain ignorance. They call people “morans” or say “your stupid” and leave everyone who reads their comments in fits of laughter. Pot, meet kettle.”

That pretty much describes the majority of the posters here. Don’t get me wrong some posters are extremely knowledgeable and funny. But those are the regulars…go to her article to see what the definition of troll is and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Oh you know this pic is perfect for many of you!

Then my dreams of being with Lisa really died when I continued reading her article and got to this site here at #6.


The site is designated as a blog for all teams that suck. This week, the Vols are featured. If you hate the Vols, then get into your best troll trance and join in on the fun. If you have broken up with your girlfriend, got fired, or just need a place to go laugh at another’s expense, this is the place.”

First off, number 6? WTF? Come on I get less educated posters than the five sites before me. Plus if you would look in the address window of the browser that you’re presently using you would see that the URL is wrong. Not to mention the tag line being incorrect and I don’t have themes, then again the way Tennessee has played this year she might have a point.

Lisa claims not to comment on the sites she has listed but I’ve found where she has commented on this very site. Click here

Lisa Lisa Lisa Says:
August 13, 2008 at 9:59 am e

I think there are legos in my poop.”

Ha! Busted!!!

Sorry Lisa whatever feelings I had for you died after yesterday. I suppose I’ll roam this earth alone and continue banging the receptionist at my general practitioner’s office. That’s just how the Triple T Man rolls baby. After all there aren’t any legos in her poop. (I hope)

Author’s notation: I did send Lisa and e-mail explaining I found wrong in regards to this blog so it’s possible she corrected the errors. And please don’t go over there and make crude comments.

Author’s notation part 2: Lisa was actually kind enough to answer my e-mail and without threat a legal action. She’s actually a cool person so please do not troll her sites.


Posted in Lisa Horne, Lost Love, Trolls | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

And now a look at the NFC teams after week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 17, 2008

NFC East

  • Dallas Cowboys: I hate this team but I’ll give them credit they’re good, The mindset is Super Bowl or bust however the defense isn’t as stout like people think they are.
  • New York Giants: Eli and company are not going to sneak up on everyone like last year however right now they are playing with swagger.
  • Philadelphia Eagles: This is the best Eagles team there has been in years. They will rebound from the recent loss to Dallas. Let’s hope Desean Jackson got stuffed in a locker last Monday night after that dumbass move of dropping the ball before he broke the plain.

  • Washington Redskins: Stout defense and the offense is coming around. This might be the toughest division in football next to the SEC East.

NFC North

  • Green Bay Packers: Brett who? Rogers is playing well enough to make people forget about the previous QB.

  • Minnesota Vikings: Winless…the QB sucks but they have the talent to turn it around.
  • Chicago Bears: Notice how much better this team is since Rex Grossman is not QB. Nasty Defense.
  • Detroit Lions: Still suck. John Kitna desperately wants to be a Packer since he threw more balls to them in the fourth quarter then he did to his own team

NFC South

  • New Orleans Saints: I think there needs to be a national Reggie Bush taunting day. If Bush doesn’t grow up and have a break out season this year, consider him a bust.
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Gruden loves his QB’s but I question the decision to sit Garcia over Griese. Nevertheless they are looking good so far.
  • Carolina Panthers: What a surprise they have been so far and just think they have yet to play a game with the ass-kicking Steve Smith.
  • Atlanta Falcons: Actually beat Detroit during their first game, but then again it Detroit. However I believe they will be better than last year.

NFC West:

  • Seattle Seahawks: Winless…and things aren’t looking up they are so desperate for wide receivers they are thinking about signing Koren Robinson.
  • Arizona Cardinals: Kurt Warner looks like the Kurt Warner of old. Teams better pay attention to this team.
  • San Francisco 49ers: Still a sorry team but a better team than last year.
  • St. Louis Rams: The sorriest of the sorry. The coach was put on notice yesterday. He should save face and resign.

Posted in Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, Philadelphia Eagles, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, Steve Smith, Tampa Bay Bucs, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »