Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

This is the Man that KO’d Kimbo Slice (And other news shorts)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 6, 2008

Hard to believe isn’t it? His name is Seth Petruzelli and on Saturday night he KO’d America’s favorite MMA fighter Kimbo Slice. When you do something that spectacular it’s best to remove photos like this from your Myspace page. Here is how Seth describes himself on his Myspace page.

I AM A GOOFY HOMO THAT DOESNT ACT LIKE A FIGHTER AT ALL. I DO IT FOR FUN NOT CAUSE I LIKE TO FIGHT…I JUST HAPPEN TO BE GOOD AT FIGHTING…..AND LOOKING GOOD 😉

Well…alrighty then.

This is a true story and I swear I’m not making it up. I was four years old when I first uttered the words “Cubs Suck.” I remember this because my father almost had an aneurysm. I’m not sure if it was because I said the word suck at age four or the fact he was a die hard Cubs fan.

I’ve always hated this team and again like I’ve said many times before I have no clue as to why. I’ve spent a minimum of 33 years hating this team and it’s been 100 years since they have won a title.

Apparently the fans in Chicago are beginning to hate Kosuke Fukudome with a passion.

Passengers at O’Hare Airport were surprised to hear his name being paged over the public address system in Terminal B on Friday morning.

But it turned out that it was all a joke.

“Paging Kosuke Fukudome, paging Kosuke Fukudome … Please report to the Cincinnati Reds. You have been traded for a player to be named later.”

Some of the passengers waiting for flights laughed, while others cringed.

Even though they had the most wins in the National League this year, the circle of fail has been completed for them by getting swept by the Dodgers. I couldn’t be happier.

The Wisconsin Badgers marching band apparently has seen the American Pie movie series way to many times. They were suspended amid rumors of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. What kind of “sexual misconduct” gets an entire band suspended?

“That means the band will not perform at tonight’s Big Ten football game between the 18th-ranked Badgers and the No. 14 Ohio State Buckeyes at Camp Randall Stadium, and it marks the first time the marching band has been suspended from a game show in at least 40 years, band director Mike Leckrone said.

“I thought the only thing I could do to send the message was to suspend,” Leckrone said.”

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has drummed up some of the band past indiscretions:

  • A hazing incident in which a female band member was told to suck on a sex toy.
  • Female band members being forced to kiss other female band members to gain access to bus bathrooms.
  • Younger band members being forced to run errands and refill beer cups for older band members.
  • Behavior in 2004 that led a bus driver to pull over and call the police.

I’m interested in knowing what type of behavior causes a bus driver to actually pull over to call the police.

Kige Ramsey is pimping himself out on Ebay. According to his Ebay listing the winning bidder will get the following:

  • Announcement of joint venture
  • History of bowl game
  • History of bowl sponsor
  • Analysis of potential teams in position to play in your bowl
  • A Youtube introduction of teams after formal NCAA announcement
  • Seasonal analysis of participants
  • Game prediction
  • Game recap

Too bad Skoal doesn’t have a bowl game.

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