Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

The Tennessee/South Carolina grade book. The end is near!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 3, 2008

Has anyone ever seen the movie Magnolia? I was conned into seeing it by a former girlfriend. It’s like three hours and eight minutes of tortuous hell. This Tennessee football season certainly reminds me of that. There never seems to be an end in sight.

This past Saturday’s game was yet another double digit loss and yet another three plus hours of watching mistake after mistake.

Unfortunately asshole Steve God Spurrier said it best in his press conference yesterday.

“The Tennessee band was there last night, weren’t they?” Spurrier said Sunday afternoon in his weekly conference call with reporters. “I’m used to hearing ‘Rocky Top.’ . . . Maybe they only play that when they score. Usually when you play Tennessee, you hear that ‘Rocky Top’ so often it’s ringing in your brain.”

Fulmer’s focus is clearly on winning out however it will not save his job. A 24-23 loss by Tennessee to the Gamecocks in 1992 was one of the main reasons Coach Fulmer’s predecessor, coach Johnny Majors was fired.

No one on the team cares anymore; there was no emotion on the sidelines, even when Berry intercepted the ball when the game was still in reach. It looked like everyone was at a funeral and maybe they were.

Any & all discipline is now gone, I saw how Stephens turned away from Fulmer when he got into his face, there is no respect for the coach because no one cares, they feel like the season is already over.

The amazing thing about this season is the fact the incoming recruiting class is phenomenal. On Saturday afternoon Phoebus quarterback Tajh Boyd announced his commitment to Tennessee. Boyd is ranked as the top QB in Virginia. The Vols so far have what is considered to be a top five class shaping up. However if and when Fulmer is fired will we keep any of those recruits?

“Anybody that likes Tennessee and cares about what the product looks like on the field is frustrated,” Fulmer said, echoing comments from this year. “I’m disappointed that we haven’t played well. I don’t think I’ve let it show on the practice field or in meetings. The players, they’re disappointed and frustrated, but they haven’t let it show in the game. We continue to get effort and haven’t seen a whole lot of finger pointing or anything like that.

“They’ve done what we’ve asked them to do and what they should do, and that’s continue to work and stay positive, play hard and look forward to what the next challenge is.”

My main goal is to get Coach Fulmer elected to the white house. As you can see below I spared no expense and sponsored a car in yesterday’s NASCAR race.

OK let’s go to the grade book.

Quarterbacks: F

Maybe we need to start B.J. Coleman. I wonder if the whole offensive system is broken. Rumor has it that 75% of the offensive plays are being changed by Coach Fulmer. If that is the case then he needs to allow Clawson to call the game against Wyoming and keep mum about the play calling. Regardless of the system no team can overcome to stupid mistakes that both quarterbacks seem to have made this past Saturday.

Running Backs: F

Creer’s fumble set up a touchdown that put the game out of reach. Foster ran hard and averaged around 4 yards per carry. He was very fortunate to get the ball over the goal line for a touchdown just moments before losing the handle on it.

Receivers: D

With Jones and Moore on the bench there was zero explosiveness. South Carolina’s secondary was not challenged.

Offensive Line: F

Just when you thought Tennessee was going to start running the ball effectively the O-line would fail. There was no pass protection. The O-line gave up six sacks and of course penalties were again a problem.

Defensive Line: A-

With an injured D-line, the Vols still recorded three tackles for a loss and a sack.

Linebackers: B+

Welcome back Rico McCoy. He had nine tackles and one was for a loss. Ellix Wilson had six. Nevin McKenzie had four, one for a loss.

Secondary: A-

Two words: Eric Berry. I’m willing to bet Chuck Norris wears Eric Berry underroos.

Special Teams: F-

Rogan’s fumble during a punt return was inexcusable. Demetrice Morley was called offside during a field goal attempt that prompted South Carolina to go for it on fourth down. And let’s not fail to mention the 67-yard punt return that almost scored.

Coaching: F

Discipline is dead and of course there were to many conservative calls.

Overall F

Tennessee is consistent…consistently awful and embarrassing. This loss could go down in the books as the worse loss in this decade.

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