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Jim Leyritz will struggle through this…somehow

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2008

For those of you that might not know or remember Jim Leyritz, he is a former douche-bag Yankee who stands accused of being involved in an accident while driving drunk, in which a young mother was killed.

Of course our legal system, being what is, means Leyritz is currently out on bail awaiting trial. The judge had ordered a Breathalyzer device be installed in his car until the trial.

Last week Leyritz’s attorneys asked the judge to remove the device because it was somewhat “bothersome.”

“He cannot leave the car with a valet, because it cannot be started by the valet,” his lawyers said in a statement. And he “can’t eat things like chicken Marsala,” said his ex-wife, Karri, because certain foods cause false positives.

So… all the valets in New York have also been eating Chicken Marsala?

Jim Leyritz needs to be able to use valet parking, people. Do you know how hard it is to remember where you parked your car after drinking three bottles of wine during dinner?

The victim’s lifeless body has requested that her body be re-animated because her current state of lifelessness is “bothersome.”

Maybe the court could replace his Breathalyzer with the barrel of a loaded shotgun.

Hey Jim fuck you asshole. I feel so sorry for you.

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