Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

First stop halfway house, next stop the football field for Vick

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 17, 2008

America’s favorite puppy killing football anti-hero, Michael Vick, is now one step closer to becoming the quarterback for the Detroit Lions.

According to his attorneys, Vick, could I mean COULD be released to a halfway house in the near future. While the attorneys are not giving a specific date of release or what area in the country the supposed halfway house is in, I for one welcome Mr. Vick into my community after all it’s not everyday that a former NFL QB is bagging my groceries at Kroger.

I will happily tip Mr. Vick my standard of three dollars and maybe that will relieve some of the expenses he has occurred in attorney fees since he decided to finance a dog fighting operation. It’s too bad he is being forced to sell his shit like boats and I mean really, really expensive boats at that.

Note the sarcasm in the above paragraph because I’m laying it on pretty freaking thick!

Of course maybe…just maybe Mr. Vick wouldn’t have to go through all this if he didn’t do something so stupid or at least spend $201K on the very day he went to jail. DUMBASS!

How much is a copy of “Making Toilet Wine For Dummies” anyway? That could have purchased a lot of soap-on-a-rope.

“The day he went to jail, Michael Vick bought a $99,000 Mercedes…He gave $28,000 to the mother of his oldest child. He paid a public relations firm $23,000 and gave a friend $16,000[…]

From Aug. 27, 2007, the day he pleaded guilty in a Richmond federal courthouse, until Nov. 19, the day he bought the new Mercedes before reporting to jail, Vick shelled out $3,627,291.”

To be fair, Vick can’t catch a break. The guy unselfishly does his part to stimulate the economy and all people (like me) does is shit on him. Even his cellmate. Especially his cellmate!!

I can’t wait to see him be less effective than Daunte Culpepper in the future or maybe he’ll be a Raider…that would almost be a perfect fit. That is of course he can convince Goodell to “misremember” the whole dog fighting thing.

sales-brisk

I'm getting Vick to sign his latest jersey for me

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