YMSWWC’s Awesome F**cking Guide to the 2008 Bowl Season! (With pictures this year)
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008
This would have been posted earlier but I kinda sorted screwed up and forgot to send Joel the bowl schedule. Yeah, my bad, I’m a dick. Whatever. Anywho let’s go over this year bowl schedule and mine and Joel’s picks and then you call your bookie.
This year there is a smorgasbord of crap-tastic games to choose from! Yay!
When: Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN
Who: Navy vs. Wake Forest
Joel says: Anchors aweigh. I really wish Navy would have beat Notre Dame again this year. Wait, this is a real bowl game???
Thomas says: I pick Navy because I’m sick and damn tired of hearing how the Wake Forest is so good. Blah blah blah. Is this bowl game being funded by any of the bailout money by the way?
New Mexico Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
Who: Fresno State vs. Colorado State
Joel says: Fresno State has struggled this year, and Sonny Lubick is no longer at CSU. FSU I guess.
Thomas says: Go with Fresno state on this one, Pat Hill is a demon with a sledgehammer. I went to New Mexico once hasted, in fact I hated it so much that I rather masturbate to Polish porn rather watch this game.
St. Petersburg Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 4:30 p.m., ESPN2
Where: St. Petersburg, Fla.
Who: Memphis vs. USF
Joel says: Speaking of disappointment, what happened to USF??? It will be a home game essentially for them and for the Tigers; basketball season has started…thank God.
Thomas says: I agree with Joel on this one. While this has been a disappointing for Jim “I sound like Froggy from the Little Rascals” Leavitt, the Bulls of South Florida should be fired up for this one.
Las Vegas Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: The Site: Las Vegas
Who: BYU vs. Arizona
Joel says: Mormons are people too. Cougars by a lot.
Thomas says: While you can tell the BYU coach has a woody in the photo below his team will be let down by the end of the game. Arizona’s defense shall prevail.
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
When: Dec. 21, 8 p.m. ESPN
Where: New Orleans
Who: Southern Miss vs. Troy
Joel says: Talk about your pillow fights. Southern Miss in a 7/8th empty Superdome.
Thomas says: Troy by a lot.
Joel says: This game I am looking forward to. TCU has some hot Christian chicks so Horny Frogs.
Thomas says: I completely agree with Joel about the TCU chicks plus they defense at TCU as well.
When: Dec. 24, 8 p.m., ESPN
Who: Notre Dame vs. Hawaii
Joel says: Easy, Hawaii, and I hope to all that is holy that the Warriors slay the pagans of South Bend.
Thomas says: Pagans? Damn! Brilliant line! This should be another victory for Hawaii against another sub-par opponent. Charlie Weis is a fatass by the way.
Motor City Bowl
When: Dec. 26, 8 p.m., ESPN
Who: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan
Joel says: I like the spread offense of Butch Jones. Central Michigan.
Thomas says: Who the fuck as these teams? This is one of those shitty bowls that the NFL Network should cover. I pick whoever Joel is picking.
Meineke Car Care Bowl
When: Dec. 27, 1 p.m., ESPN
Where: Charlotte, N.C.
Who: North Carolina vs. West Virginia
Joel says: Right where West Virginia belongs, playing in a meaningless pre-New Years bowl. They should win unless their coach proves he is outmatched…again…
Thomas says: West Virginia never fails in their bowl games; of course they are the main reason that Lispy Lou Holtz won a national championship at Notre Dame. I pick West Virginia for the sole reason that anytime I pick against them they win. It’s called reverse physiology.
Champs Sports Bowl
When: Dec. 27, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Where: Orlando, Fla.
Who: Florida State vs. Wisconsin
Joel says: Too much speed for FSU. Seminoles and I hope someone dusts off Burt Reynolds for the game.
Thomas says: Wisconsin gets beaten in a bowl game….again. And I still think cheddar cheese sucks. F$U on this one.
When: Dec. 27, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: San Francisco
Who: Miami vs. California
Joel says: Miami. Never trust a Jeff Tedford coached team to be consistent.
Thomas says: Cal. This game is being played in the hippy capital of world and God knows this will be home crowd albeit a very high home crowd that smells from not bathing regularly but a home crowd nonetheless.
When: Dec. 28, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: Shreveport, La.
Who: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech
Joel says: La. Tech should benefit from the “home” field advantage.
Thomas says: Again why the hell isn’t the NFL Network covering this game? Damn! Whoever Joel picked.
When: Dec. 29, 3 p.m., ESPN
Where: Birmingham, Ala.
Who: Rutgers vs. N.C. State
Joel says: Rutgers should the “Golden Garlic Sauce Packet” trophy or whatever they win.
Thomas says: Not so fact! NC State is playing great ball and their coach is a better coach than the Rutgers Coach what’s-his-name. NC State
When: Dec. 29, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: San Antonio
Who: Northwestern vs. Missouri
Joel says: I can’t believe I am about to say this: Northwestern.
Thomas says: Northwestern might have a lot of smarties however they don’t have a secondary. Missouri wins by a lot since they are the losers of the “Beat by Texas” game AKA the Big 12 Championship, so they’ll also be pissed off.
When: Dec. 30, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Where: Boise, Idaho
Who: Maryland vs. Nevada
Joel says: Another victory for Nevada and the “Pistol” formation.
Thomas says: Maryland because…hell I don’t know. I hate this fucking game and that damn blue field.
Side note: At last count, the two schools have sold a combined total of 32 tickets. Woo Hoo!
When: Dec. 30, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: San Diego
Who: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon
Joel says: This will probably be the best bowl game, with the worst uniforms. I fear for that Phil Knight will make the Ducks wear. Toss up will go to Ok. State.
Thomas says: America’s Coach Mike “I’m a man, I’m 40! However I’m really 41 since I had a b-day” Gundy will have Oklahoma State fired up and they will win big.
When: Dec. 30, 8 p.m., NFL Network
Who: Rice vs. Western Michigan
Joel says: I won’t be attending the game this year, but I like Rice.
Thomas says: Finally a shitty bowl that the NFL Network is carrying. Thank God! Oh yeah Western Michigan in a squeaker.
Armed Forces Bowl
When: Dec. 31, noon, ESPN
Where: Fort Worth, Texas
Who: Houston vs. Air Force
Joel says: Kevin Sumlin should coach the Cougars to a C-USA title next year. But this game will go to the flyboys.
Thomas says: I believe Houston’s offense is to good for Air Force to be able to contend with.
When: Dec. 31, 2 p.m., CBS
Where: El Paso, Texas
Who: Pittsburgh vs. Oregon State
Joel says: Wannstedt did the best coaching job of his life this year, but he still sucks. I like Beaver.
Thomas says: Nothing can stop Wannstedt and his mustache nothing!!! Ask West Virginia! (Snicker) Pitt wins handily and dines on Beaver…
Joel says: Revenge of the Nerds. LP Field will rock for Vandy.
Thomas says: Vandy is 6-6 and will finish this year with another losing season.
When: Dec. 31, 5:30 p.m., NFL Network
Where: Tempe, Ariz.
Who: Kansas vs. Minnesota
Joel says: Minnestoa. Both teams could hang 100 on each other.
Thomas says: I like Kansas and Reece their QB. Look for the Jayhawks (Where Wilt went to school) to win. Oh great I wouldn’t mind seeing this one but the NFL Network is carrying this game.
When: Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
Who: Georgia Tech vs. LSU
Joel says: Ga. Tech. Give Paul Johnston 2 more years and they will really be a force. Les Miles should have taken the Michigan job.
Thomas says: No body wants to play Tech right now and for good reason. Tech is probably the best team in the ACC (Another Crappy Conference) whether their record shows it or now. Tech wins big.
When: Jan. 1, 11 a.m., ESPN
Where: Tampa, Fla.
Who: Iowa vs. South Carolina
Joel says: I would say Gamecocks. Spurrier knows everything, remember???
Thomas says: Joel made this pick before the info on E. Cook was revealed about him being to retarded to play in this game. Iowa has IMHO the best tailback in the county along with 2 or 3 Iowa linemen that were all Big Ten. USC has a sorry run defense. Mix all this together and bake for 45 minutes on 350 and you get an ass whipping handed to USC and rumors of Spurrier’s possible retirement will be flying.
When: Jan. 1, 1 p.m., CBS
Where: Jacksonville, Fla.
Who: Clemson vs. Nebraska
Joel says: Nebraska. That’s all.
Thomas says: Nebraska will be to busy laughing at the fact someone is named Dabo to notice there’s a game going on and lose.
Capital One Bowl
When: Jan. 1, 1 p.m., ABC
Where: Orlando, Fla.
Who: Michigan State vs. Georgia
Joel says: Michigan State because they actually want to be in this bowl game.
Thomas says: Georgia dominates sub-par Big 10 team. That is the common thread for this bowl game.
When: Jan. 2, 2 p.m., Fox
Who: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech
Joel says: This will be another fun one. God Mike Leach would have looked good in orange. Tech by 3.
Thomas says: Kiffin looks better and Texas Tech wins by more than 3. Harrell should have been invited to the Heisman ceremony. He had a great year, but the photo below was leaked out.
Talk about “Don thee now our gay apparel” Looks like Santa is pretending he’s skiing. Harrell and Santa look a little too happy in that photo if you ask me.
When: Jan. 2, 5 p.m., ESPN
Where: Memphis, Tenn.
Who: Kentucky vs. East Carolina
Joel says: East Carolina. Better QB play for the Pirates.
Thomas says: Kentucky is on a major suck-fest slide. Skip Holtz makes his Lispy father proud by winning a bowl game.
When: Jan. 3, noon, ESPN2
Who: Buffalo vs. Connecticut
Joel says: Buffalo. Ironic since the Bills also play there once a year.
Thomas says: Buffalo wins big and the world will further ridicule Auburn for NOT hiring Turner Gill.
When: Jan. 6, 8 p.m., ESPN
Where: Mobile, Ala.
Who: Tulsa vs. Ball State
Joel says: Two unique offenses, No defenses on either side. Get your popcorn ready. Tulsa by 10.
Thomas says: Since the Ball State coach for San Diego State, why I’ll never know, Ball doesn’t have a snow balls chance.
When: Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m., ABC
Where: Pasadena, Calif.
Who: USC vs. Penn State
Joel says: USC takes this one, but I think the game will be closer than people think.
Thomas says: Pete Carroll takes Joe Pa’s crutch from him and beats him with it! Oh yeah his football team wins the game as well.
When: Jan. 1, 8 p.m., Fox
Who: Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati
Joel says: Who cares??? Cincinnati, which will be the last big win for Brian Kelly before he goes to Notre Dame after next season.
Thomas says: Anyone see the ACC championship game? They barley sold any tickets. They were to embarrassed to show aerial coverage from whatever blimp was doing to game. Look at this photo!
Buy one get one free? WTF? Sad! Oh yeah since the ACC can’t seem to buy a BCS victory I pick Cincinnati.
Joel says: It isn’t as glitzy as their usual Shreveport winter home, but the (Jimmy John cocaine) lines are too strong for the polygamists.
Thomas says: Billy Bob Bammer will be at the game rooting for Alabama but he will be converted once he hears about the multiple wives thing. However once the Mormons figure out that he was referring to sheep as his wives, he will be promptly be excommunicated. Alabama wins however it’s closer than what people think.
Satan will also add another layer to hell and name it after Saban when this game is over.
When: Jan. 5, 8 p.m., Fox
Where: Glendale, Ariz.
Who: Ohio State vs. Texas
Joel says: *singing* Ohio sucks, they really suck (clap clap clap clap) Deep in the heart of Texas
Thomas says: Another bowl failure for the fail boats of Ohio State.
BCS Title Game
When: Jan. 8, 8 p.m., FOX
Who: Florida vs. Oklahoma
Joel says: Do I go with Orgasmo (Tebow) or the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer (Bradford). Jort wearing Gators.
Thomas says: The Gaytors win another championship making the third national title for the SEC in three years. This will also mark another BCS loss for Stoopid Stoops. I hate Oklahoma, the winners of the “Beaten by Texas” game. Oh yeah Tebow will cry and find some needy kids to circumcise.