Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Who has been naughty and who has been nice?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 24, 2008

In case you didn’t know, we here at help Santa out with the naughty and nice list. Of course we’re always nice…Moving on…let’s look at some of our recent selections.

Naughty but we will overlook mitigating circumstances.

Shaun Smith for punching Brady “I’m not gay…oh wait yes I am” Quinn during an altercation in the weight room. At first I was thinking what the hell do they believe this is Oz or something…if so Quinn would be the bitch.

Smith is a former South Carolina player who played under Lispy Lou Holtz…we’re overlooking the Brady beat-down because, well, we hate Brady Quinn.


The new Philadelphia Phillies ball girls, hard to believe they actually had to take a written test for this gig.

“No one mentioned any beauty pageant experience, though other applicants did. “A lot of them think it is a beauty competition and it really is not,” DeVicaris said.”

As soon as I heard it was in Philadelphia the thought of beauty never entered my mind.

Naughty and God what a way to ruin an appetite.

David Hasselhoff got to sing the National Anthem at this past Saturday’s Las Vegas bowl. Decent game from what I heard I was to busy watching Dallas lose the final game ever to played at Texas Stadium. Dallas = failboats.

Of course we have the video…if we have to suffer then so should you.

Wow…hella nice

The Irwin Academic Services Center at the University of Illinois. Of course only jocks can use it.

“These athletic tutoring palaces perpetuate resentment and stereotyping on campus,” said Allen Sack, a University of New Haven professor who played football for the University of Notre Dame and has become a critic of what he sees as the corrosive effect of sports on university life.

“A student who is not an athlete will say: ‘I’m working nights to get through school, why don’t I get free tutoring?’ ” Sack said. “That the athletes do perpetuates the image of a dumb jock who couldn’t get through school without special help.”

I see the point. After spending all that booster money on PS3 games, who has anything left over to afford a tutor?

Once the nerds start bringing in millions of revenue in for the University they can start using the academic centers. *Sarcasm*

Here is my gift to you readers: A how to DIY instruction video on how to build a Christmas tree entirely out of beer bottles. It’s worth watching.

Merry Christmas…bitches.


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