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Nothing says marital bliss like a STD, just ask Dwyane Wades’ spouse

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 20, 2009

Divorce proceedings generally bring out the worst in two people. There are bitter feelings, broken hearts and sometimes a nasty custody battle to be fought. Apparently Charles Barkley’s former Fav Fiver is experiencing something similar.

In May 2008, Dwyane Wade filed for divorce against wife Siohvaughn. They have two children together, age 5 and 1. Recently Siohvaughn issued a nasty little laundry list that claims Wade gave her a collection of STDs. Somewhere there’s an Eddy Curry joke to be made.

In legal papers, she alleges he abandoned his children, committed adultery, and infected her with an unspecified sexually transmitted disease. She wants the names of ”all of his sexual partners” during their six-year marriage.

Dwyane, named a ”Father of the Year” in 2007 by the National Father’s Day Committee, has gone ”months” without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ”failure to spend time with them . . . has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, Zion . . . does not recognize or know Dwyane.” She wants sole custody, and support.

She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of ’07. (The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.) Dwyane and his ”paramour or paramours” are liable, she alleges.

Well…alrighty then! I’m glad the STD isn’t a “killer thing” because if I ever entered a NBA fantasy league Dwyane would be the first player I would choose. Seriously even a blind man can see this is bullshit however I’ll play along for the sake of being funny.

Giving a woman an STD is like giving them one of those “Wine of the Month” club memberships as a gift. Every month, there’s something new to check out in your box.

Dwyane Wade’s Fave 5…STDs:

1. Syphilis
2. Gonorrhea
3. Genital Warts
4. Trichomonas
5. Hepatitis B

If these allegations are true, it would be the first documented case of someone from Wisconsin having a disease other than diabetes and hypertension.

Hopefully there will be a happy ending for all parties involved once this mess is over with and Valtrex prescriptions will be filled.


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