Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Maybe Andy Kennedy should have punched a Cleveland cabbie in the face instead

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 3, 2009

On December 18th ’08 Ole Miss Basketball coach, Andy Kennedy, was arrested for allegedly assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. Shortly thereafter Kennedy filed a deformation of character suit against the cab driver and his witness. Of course the stress & anxiety of all these events have left Kennedy unable to perform his “husbandly duties” for which his spouse filed her own lawsuit against the cabbie and his witness. I personally think her milkshake went sour and Kennedy was cheating on her and she found out…thus ultimate revenge.

If you thought things couldn’t get worse for Kennedy, especially after his wife proclaimed he was getting “soft”, then you’re mistaken. What does every police in this country have other than a radio? That’s right…a dash camera and voice recorder, let the festivities begin!

WLWT-TV, a television station in Cincinnati obtained the video footage of the arrest. I tried to post the video here but VodPod won’t allow me, however I did link to it.

The video shows Kennedy pleading not to be arrested because he’s famous and stuff. Here is some of the video translated.

popokennedy

“I’m here for the Big East SEC challenge,” Kennedy was heard saying on the video, WLWT reports. “I’m playing Louisville and Rick Pitino tomorrow. I was the UC head coach. I am going to be on national television. If I’m not standing there at 9 p.m. tomorrow, this is an international altercation.”

Wow…name dropping and attempting to involve the United Nations by claiming this could be an international altercation, isn’t exactly the best way to appease the officer. I personally hate name droppers. (Dick Vitale I’m speaking at you buddy) This also marks the first time a non-prostitute tried to get out of being arrested by mentioning Rick Pitino.

“I’m begging you. I’m looking at you. Please look at me. This is…this is a major deal man,” Kennedy pleaded, according to WLWT.

“I understand, sir, but if I don’t do this, I could lose my job,” said the officer.

“It’s not worth it. Please trust me. Please trust me on this. This is going to be a national incident, sir,” continued Kennedy.

“Sir, everything you’re saying right now is being recorded,” replied the officer.

“No, I understand that,” said Kennedy.

Yes judges always look favorable on people who try to talk the police out of doing their jobs.

However the next sentence out of the officer’s mouth is perhaps the greatest sentence a Cincinnati police officer has EVER uttered.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? …We deal with the Bengals all the time,” said the officer.

Boo-Yah!!!!  Absolute comic genius there!!!!

This cop is lucky this incident didn’t take place near Chappaquiddick, where the Kennedys are impervious to the law. Here’s hoping the Cincy cop’s wife doesn’t sue for lack of sex like Kennedy’s wife did.

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One Response to “Maybe Andy Kennedy should have punched a Cleveland cabbie in the face instead”

  1. Danometer said

    We have a definite nominee for Officer of the Year 2009.

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