Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Looking for a hot time this February then Hockey Porn is the way to go

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 11, 2009

Did Mel from Flight of the Conchords paint this?

If you’re looking for artsy hockey porn then I have just the thing for you. Just take a trip to our exotic neighbors known as Canada. There in the town of Calgary awaits you’re wildest dreams and the world’s foremost “Hockey Erotica” stage show. 

5 Hole: Tales of Hockey Erotica” is a stage performance that will take an effervescent look at hockey without its bothersome jerseys and protection gear. I swear this isn’t a joke. 

“As exhilarating as winning game seven and naughty enough to draw a five-minute major, Five Hole presents a suite of engrossing, tender and hilarious stories about the steamy underbelly of our national sport. A minor leaguer endures a passionate crush on his team’s lone female player. An NHL goalie is tight with his teammate, but dreams of getting MUCH tighter. These and other tales make up this scintillating look at hockey with its clothes off.” 

“The resulting union between sex and hockey is so unexpectedly harmonious that the audience, caught off guard, is unwittingly and fully seduced” – Kevin De Vlaming, The Gauntlet” 

If by chance you can’t make it to any of the February shows then there are plenty of shows in March in Ontario. 

Dim lights, music, sex & best of all no penalty boxes, how can you say no to this? If you aren’t sure about attending…then check out the teaser that I found for you. The NFL will never be the same. 

I also heard there is a walk through tour of Elisha Cuthbert’s vagina.

Bring the kids!    

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