Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 12, 2009
con·sor·tium (kən sôrt′ē əm; -sôr′s̸hē əm, -s̸həm)
noun pl. -·tia—ə
- a partnership or association; specif.,
- a temporary alliance of two or more business firms in a common venture
- an international banking agreement or association
- Law the companionship and support provided by marriage, including the right of each spouse to receive this from the other
Now that you know what the definition of consortium is let’s hope Kimber Kennedy knows as well and has the ability to prove it. But first a recap.
On December 18th of last year Ole Miss head Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for alledgidy assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. A video of the inicedent has been released in which Kennedy attempts to bring the United Nations into the matter by telling the police officier that this could be an “international inident.” The exchange during the arrest prompted the greatest line ever spoken by a Cinncinati police officer ever.
“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time.”
Shortly thereafter Kimber Kennedy, Andy’s spouse, filed a lawsuit against the taxi driver and his witness claiming the this whole mess has been so stressful that Andy can not perform his husbandly duties. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.
Now according the attorneys of the taxi driver, Kimber must prove the “loss of consortium” claim.
“Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a “loss of consortium” and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they’re going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.”
No I’m not a doctor but I play one on this blog so at the risk of offending some readers out there, I’ll volunteer to help Kimber get her groove back. I can hop in my car and be there in a matter of hours. Hold on, Kimber. Eventually, I’ll be coming.
I truly wish I could there for this trial, I can see the entered evidene now:
- Exhibit A: A receipt for 50 AA batteries and a ‘muscle massager.’
- Exhibit B: Kimber rips open her blouse and shouts “Your honor, THESE have not been sucked since the incident!”
- Exhibit C: A video of the couple NOT having sex
Unfortunately I can’t help but believe that there will be a legal document in the future containing the words “forceps”, “knock”, and “dust off”. I’m betting Kimber is hoping for a stiff penalty to be handed out for this crime.
I bet this suit is doing wonders for recruiting.