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Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 12, 2009

con·sor·tium (kən sôrtē əm; -sôrs̸hē əm, -s̸həm)

noun pl. -·tia—ə

  1. a partnership or association; specif.,
    1. a temporary alliance of two or more business firms in a common venture
    2. an international banking agreement or association
  2. Law the companionship and support provided by marriage, including the right of each spouse to receive this from the other

Now that you know what the definition of consortium is let’s hope Kimber Kennedy knows as well and has the ability to prove it. But first a recap.

On December 18th of last year Ole Miss head Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for alledgidy assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. A video of the inicedent has been released in which Kennedy attempts to bring the United Nations into the matter by telling the police officier that this could be an “international inident.” The exchange during the arrest prompted the greatest line ever spoken by a Cinncinati police officer ever.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time.”

Shortly thereafter Kimber Kennedy, Andy’s spouse, filed a lawsuit against the taxi driver and his witness claiming the this whole mess has been so stressful that Andy can not perform his husbandly duties. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.

Now according the attorneys of the taxi driver, Kimber must prove the “loss of consortium” claim.

“Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a “loss of consortium” and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they’re going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.”

No I’m not a doctor but I play one on this blog so at the risk of offending some readers out there, I’ll volunteer to help Kimber get her groove back. I can hop in my car and be there in a matter of hours. Hold on, Kimber. Eventually, I’ll be coming.

I truly wish I could there for this trial, I can see the entered evidene now:

  • Exhibit A: A receipt for 50 AA batteries and a ‘muscle massager.’
  • Exhibit B: Kimber rips open her blouse and shouts “Your honor, THESE have not been sucked since the incident!”
  • Exhibit C: A video of the couple NOT having sex

Unfortunately I can’t help but believe that there will be a legal document in the future containing the words “forceps”, “knock”, and “dust off”. I’m betting Kimber is hoping for a stiff penalty to be handed out for this crime.

I bet this suit is doing wonders for recruiting.

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5 Responses to “Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium”

  1. ghettophilosopher said

    What is this woman thinking? How does this suit help Kennedy one bit? I wonder if she even told him what she was going to do or whether she just up and decided to do it herself.

  2. zigzag said

    Ghetto:
    It was part of the countersuit plan the lawyers fired against the cabbie and valet.

    AK’s lawyers are going to make it very tough for those two guys to gain any traction, because for every law suit that means an additional $300 and hour in attorney fees those two are going to have to come up with. Given what has happened so far, between them they have incurred at least $20,000 in attorney fees and the trial hasn’t even started yet.

    And Thomas, jai is in deep shit on the Kiffin mess, what is your take.

  3. ghettophilosopher said

    Thanks for clearing that up.

  4. My take is this: I’m embarrassed however I can see that he really was trying to pump the crowd up.

    He should have said “There’s a certain coach in Florida that was calling this guy when he was on his visit here. Isn’t that kinda of classless like calling a girl you’re after when she’s on a date?”

  5. zigzag said

    Pumping the fan base is one thing, making a total ass out of yourself is another. The problem is that Junior has embarassed not only himself, but the University of Tennessee. Mike Hamilton does the athletic program and the school no favors by remaining silent, though he did speak out on the “firing” issue.

    I do like your response to Meyer, far better than Junior’s.

    We certainly have not heard the last, can’t wait til he has to extract his feet from his tonsils next fall.

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