Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Whoever said “Revenge is a dish served cold” never beat this high school basketball team

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 19, 2009

Everyone has heard the phrase “Revenge is a dish best served cold” well one high school basketball team in Illinois might disagree with that statement.

The Hiawatha High School boy’s basketball team lost a road game to Indian Creek back on January 30th, so boys being boys chose a method of revenge that was definitely not cold. Just like a screening of R. Kelly’s new music DVD, the boys of Hiawatha decided to urinate all over Indian Creek’s visitors locker room and spill two bags of popcorn around. Urine and popcorn: two great tastes, that goes great together.

This mess was photographed and presented to Hiawatha school officials. After being presented with the evidence the school officials asked for the urinating youngsters to step forward and admit their more than apparently wrong doing. There was only one man among the boys on that day and he stepped up a took responsibility however officials determined that the amount of urine “was too much for just one person,” and decided to cancel the remainder of Hiawatha’s season.

“They said there was too much urine to be one person,” said Webster, whose son is a senior on the varsity team. “They apparently, in the investigation, decided there was more than one person. I don’t know how you can determine what it was after it had dried.”

Webster said that the administration demanded that all of the members of both the varsity and freshman/sophomore teams write letters of apology to Indian Creek.”

Too much for one person why that sounds like a challenge to me! I smell an ABC After-school Special!!! No wait, it’s only urine. Which one of you guys ate asparagus?

Officials also objected to the Indian Creek janitorial staff referring to the locker room as a “Urine Soaked Hell-Hole”, when they could have just used “pee-pee stained heck hole”

Of course the Hiawatha players and parents are fighting back, trying to salvage the season. In my opinion I believe the proper punishment was doled out. Rumor is the school was thinking of changing its mascot to the Hiawatha “Fightin’ Kellys” before this incident took place.

Of course they can change the lyrics to the fight song as well.

Hiawatha High School, we hold you in our hearts
But really, we should hold our piss
Instead, we show no smarts

No word on if Indian Creek is planning to retaliate by leaving feces and pretzels all over the Hiawatha locker room.

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