Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Team USA Rallies and Tommy Lasorda is the reason why

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 18, 2009

Last night Team USA rallied in the bottom of the 9th inning by scoring three runs to oust Puerto Rico from the World Baseball Classic. They should all thank Tommy Lasorda for this moment.

On March 5th Lasorda gave fans of the World Baseball Classic U.S. team a pep talk from the observation deck of the Empire State Building (I’m not sure why), where he said the following quote:

“We cannot allow those clubs to beat us. It’s our game,” the former Los Angeles Dodgers manager said Thursday. “Remember one thing: In your hearts, you better pull for the USA or you may not get into heaven.”

“It’s our game. Baseball is America‘s game. It doesn’t belong to the Italians or the Cubans or the Koreans or the Japanese,” he said. “It’s our game, and we’re not going to let them beat us.”

He’s got more patriotism in his wrinkled left nut than any of you fucking ladies.

Ironically, Tommy’s lunch that day consisted of pizza, Cuban sandwiches, kimchee and sushi, but I would still take Lasorda’s word for it. He and St. Peter went to high school together.

I feel certain these words resonated with Team USA even if they heard them or not.

I’m just glad to see he’s been keeping off those pounds he lost on Slim-Fast.

I am humming the Star Spangled Banner over here.

Go Team USA!!!

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