Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Check out the big brain on Michael Vick…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 6, 2009

There are things in this world that are guaranteed which can not be denied. For example, there will always be death and taxes, the sun will always rise and I will always hate the music of Nickelback no matter how much Holly likes them. There’s also one other thing in this life that is guaranteed and that is Michael Vick is an idiot. 

Last Friday Vick was bitch-slapped in a bankruptcy court. A Virginia judge rejected Vick’s complete and utter moronic bankruptcy plan. Apparently the judge didn’t think it was such a great idea for a convicted felon/ex-athlete, who is up to ears in debt, to claim he needs two houses and four cars. Hilarity did not ensue after this request. 

Reading over Lester Munson’s analysis of Michael Vick’s rejected bankruptcy plan, I can’t help but to wonder just how conscience-stricken the former Falcons QB and dog-fighting financer is. 

At one point during the bankruptcy hearing, Vick actually claimed he was “on lockdown” 23 hours a day, which is a complete lie since minimum-security Federal prisons have no lockdown. 

It was also revealed that Vick removed $150,000 illegally from a defined benefit pension fund, something Vick had already said he knows to be a no-no. Vick claims that he spent all the monies he obtained from Nike via endorsement deals, on life insurance on himself and his mother. I have a feeling that upon hearing this, Marcus probably sighed with relief because that means he will probably not be murdered for cash since no one really likes him anyway. 

So far Vick has spent a staggering $3.7 million for his crackerjack legal and accounting team. The judge pointed out to Vick’s team of legal eagles that he spending about $13,000 a day in litigation. Which I’m sure if this was pointed out privately by someone else would have caused high-fives between the attorneys. 

Maybe it’s time that Vick hires new help or go to Plan B which is where Marcus robs people at fast food joints in order to pay off Michael’s debts after he scrapes together enough money for a bus pass for his getaway first. 

Remember when Marcus said he was “taking his game to the next level” after he was kicked off the Hokies? I take that to mean that he only robs Applebee’s and TGI Friday’s now.

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