Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Random Musings: Baseball Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2009

Go Red Sox!

Go Red Sox!

Yes…baseball has officially begun, and what a great start to the season with Boston winning their first game and Yankees losing theirs. 

Here a brief collection of not so famous baseball stories that have occurred lately. 

Whoever handles the marketing responsibilities for Giants Apparently does not think things through and they should leave all ball related play on words to someone who is a trained professional. 

Their new slogan “Let’s Play with Balls of Fire” is also the pickup line that Jerry Lee Lewis used on his 13-year-old cousin. They’re already in San Francisco, so there’s no need to attract the gay demographic. It’s there for the taking. 

The E! True Hollywood Story: Beetlejuice

Remember when Joba Chamberlain spent a night in mid-October drinking at a strip club and was stopped by Lincoln police? Well good news everyone the video of his arrest is now available

This video footage of the Yankee right-hander’s arrest in Nebraska shows a drunken and Chamberlain stumbling to his left after the state trooper removes an open bottle of alcohol from his car. 

The video also catches Joba, who at the time was newly acquired by the Yankees, bashing New Yorkers and leveling Yankee great, Yogi Berra, with a cheap shot. (Hahahaha) 

“No bullshit, he might not be as tall as the front of your car,” Chamberlain told the Nebraska state trooper who found an open bottle of Crown Royal sitting inside the hurler’s BMW.” 

Forget about failing a sobriety test; he failed a fashion test. He’s dressed like a mime. 

Don’t ever, under any circumstances, talk bad about Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team’s lousy record. That’s what one editor of the school news paper did only to have his home besieged with dead animals. Including a goat that shot gunned. Who shotguns a goat? You slit its throat voodoo fashion. 

Beneath the carcasses a copy of a recent Hillsdale Collegian editorial was found. The editorial called out the baseball team for its 8-14 record (1-9 in the Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference). 

Here’s an excerpt from the editorial

“In the recent past Hillsdale managed to can its women’s cheer team, the soccer team, men’s swimming and men’s golf. God knows what they did wrong. Even more disturbing, the rugby team (4-3) struggles to become a recognized club (despite field success) as the dean of men pushes to bring a Nerf-war club into fruition. What? 

Maybe you’re next? 

Oh, and lose the swagger. 

Most of you walk around campus with this chip-on-my-shoulder, badass tempo. How is this possible? It’s not enough for you to simply lumber around like the other disappointing athletes? Lose the stride boys.” 

Harsh words indeed however when someone uses harsh word like this it helps to stand by them. Of course after someone’s house was pelted by dead animals the newspaper was quick to apologize

“This past week’s staff editorial about the baseball team was a mistake, and we can’t stand by that expressed opinion. Maybe the right sentiment was there in the beginning, but what we published was poorly written, reported and edited. We now realize there are conditions the baseball team faces, for example a financial disadvantage other teams may not worry about. We kicked a guy when he was down; published an opinion rooted in gossip rather than reported fact. 

Especially, we never should have attacked the character of the baseball team or the coaching staff. We understand you do your best to represent the college well. You are supported by the editorial board as one of our Charger teams and we hope you snag a win this weekend.” 

Way to stick by your guns guys. As for the team itself, lighten up on the carcasses.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: