Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Michael Phelps, three-way sex, chewing tobacco and you

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 12, 2009

Say what you will about the UK’s News Of The World but remember that they were the ones that first published the photo of Michael Phelps sucking on a long bong. Well they’re at it again with a shocking interview of a Baltimore “dancer” who claims to know Phelps better than most people. Since when did whores start talking to the media?  Society is going to hell in a hand basket. 

While some may say that this is sensational journalism she was interview while wearing a pink teddy so she has to be creditable. During the interview she “bares” all that she knows about Phelps. (Warning NSFW) Theresa White states she met Phelps at a club where she is employed as an exotic dancer and he invited her and some friends back to his house for drinks and online poker. She claims that eventually a three hour ménage a trios began. She never answered the question, “Who enjoyed the double penetration more?” 

According to Theresa, Phelps: 

  • Still is a dope head
  • Wants to be a professional poker player
  • Is an emotional mess and cries like a baby
  • Blows all his money on booze and doesn’t tip well
  • Is paranoid about cell phone cameras (Well duh!)
  • Big mommas boy
  • Chews tobacco on an consistent basis and keeps full spittoons around the house (And if anyone would be put off by the unprofessionalism of spitting, it’s her.) 

Regardless of all these less than endearing qualities, Theresa claims she wouldn’t mind remaining “friend with benefits” with Phelps. I’m sure this interview will help keep that dream alive. Who says this guy isn’t a good role model? This is exactly what I want my future son to be doing when he gets to be around Phelps’ age.

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