Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Happy Birthday to me! Now can anyone shut Roger Clemens up?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 13, 2009

BS

Well today is my birthday and I have found something else to add to my b-day wish list of one redhead with super model qualities, after hearing that farce of an interview with Roger Clemens yesterday on the Mike and Mike show I also want a copy of “American Icon.” 

The authors of this book should send Clemens a fruit basket of something because of his poor performance during this interview sales of the of the book probably went up by 10%. Hell no one knew it was even coming out until this interview. 

This interview was predictably a PR move orchestrated by Team Clemens. The 20 minute interview with Clemen’s newest “crisis manager” Gene Grabowski that occurred before the Rocket came on the air more than proved that. Greenberg and Golic asked Grabowski, given all the evidence against Clemens, how he knows he’s telling the truth? 

“I looked him in the eye,” the Crisis Manager said. 

OK that’s it for me I believe him even though I’m sure he was paid six figures to say that. 

On McNamee: He “never injected me with HGH or steroids.” Why? “Common sense — “my family has a history of heart conditions.” Clemens notes that both his brother and stepdad had heart attacks and it would be “suicidal” for him to take any of these drugs. He also finds these allegations “dishearting” (sic). 

Yes we all know how medical conditions can jump from a step parent to step children. I think I learned that by watching “House” *Sarcasm* If heart attacks are contagious, then quickly, everyone flee Texas! 

On Andy Pettitte admitting that he was injected by McNamee and that he had a conversation with Clemens about HGH: Clemens reiterates: “Andy misremembers.” 

On Manny: Surprised because, as Roger’s stated before MLB has great testing: “We have great testing.” Did you know Roger Clemens passed all of his tests? No? You didn’t. WELL HE DID. Move on please. What? You say Manny passed all his tests as well? But did Manny ask the testing people come to his house and they went to his personal gym so he could show his son how “evasive”(sic) it was? Well Roger did “I think the program works!” 

On A-Rod: “I hope none of the things he took do damage to his body and ruin his career.” 

“How do you defend against the negative?”: Lie! “Steroids are bad for these kids — but again, I can’t defend the negative, when you’ve got somebody out there who’s just crawling up your back to make a buck…” Mentions his charities, golfing, foundations, charities, fundraising, his foundations, charities, banquets, and all of the good he’s done for people since 1991, and “I know how tough it is raising money for charity these days…” and HOW COULD I TAKE STEROIDS WHEN I’M DOING ALL OF THIS FUCKING CHARITY WORK? I HAVE NO TIME FOR NEEDLES! (I’m paraphrasing there, by the way.)

Judging from the scientific poll that ESPN performed this interview did nothing to help Camp Rocket’s cause and is also proved that there really must be nothing to do in Maine and South Carolina. 

Expect to see that next week, ESPN will show nothing but the interview, ESPN2 will feature the interview in Spanish, ESPNU will have the interview with MST3K-style commentary and ESPNews will scroll the interview text over a blank background while playing Weather Channel music. 

A transcript of the interview can be found here.

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