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Archive for the ‘ACC’ Category

Playboy’s Top 10 party schools

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 23, 2009

After this picture was taken, Howie Long chastised Jimmy Johnson for using a "man hand protector" while drinking his beer.

Just what every parent needs to know: Playboy magazine’s top 10 party schools. Coming in at #1 is the University of Miami. 

”I’ve been to the University of Michigan and that UM is crazy…[W]e rarely have parties on campus. We just go to ones that are more exclusive.” [Miami Herald

Michigan students party to blackout their school’s performance on the football field.

Here is a complete list of the schools: 

1 – University of Miami 
2 – University of Texas at Austin 
3 – San Diego State University 
4 – University of Florida 
5 – University of Arizona 
6 – University of Wisconsin at Madison 
7 – University of Georgia 
8 – Louisiana State University 
9 – University of Iowa
10 – West Virginia University 

And here is the list with pictures is case Jerrell Powe is attempting to read this.

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Posted in ACC, Beer Pong, big 10, Big 12, Big East, Jerrell Powe, Miami hurricanes, Pac 10, Party Schools, Playboy Magazine, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The ACC is the BCS minus the C

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 21, 2008

Sorry ACC fans but this is funny.

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, BCS | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Resume Watch Week 2

Posted by Joel Jackson on September 8, 2008

Two coaches that should probably schedule moving trucks:

Al Groh: I know that Frank Beamer has owned Virginia forever, so he or Va. Tech fans probably don’t want to see him leave. But for all of the NFL talent that has gone through the halls of Virginia, he really hasn’t done much. I am sure Virginia fans will say that he deserves to still be head coach, the fact remains that a beautiful campus and hot but underrated co-eds will not get the players to run a 3 yard out on 3rd & 18. That is a result of coaching.

USC throttled the Cavs. That is understood. I get that, because USC is about to dismantle Slowhio Statein a few days. But when you have to use a QB who is on probation for alcohol possession and he tells his probation officer THAT HE IS STILL DRINKING & SMOKING WEED just days before the game against mighty (1-AA) Richmond, that is not good. However, knowing that the school will let you smoke weed and drink to your hearts content as long as you can suit up for Saturday will be great for recruiting.Up next is a road trip against the powerhouse UConn.

Tommy West: During his tenure at Memphis, West has guided the Tigers from piss poor to somewhat mediocre. Yes, they have played 2 bowl games in the Superdome (New Orleans Bowls, let us not kid ourselves), but when you let Rice score 29 points in the 4th quarter of a game you had in hand, it is time to get a rack of Interstate ribs before you leave town. Maybe West is learning lessons from the John Chavis Mustang Package.

Not only is it time for West to go, but it is really time for Memphis to assess a few things. Mainly, the basketball is making money hand over fist. The football team has more red ink on its P&L’s than a Rambo movie. If Memphis is going to play football, they cannot treat the program like it is just a time killer until basketball season starts. I can’t ever seeing the football program worth a damn. Marquette and Georgetown do not play D-1A football and they are financially successful as an athletic department. My grandmother used to say it is time to either shit or get off of the pot. For years, the Tiger program has been floating. I say the school needs to flush. Next on the Tigers schedule is Marshall.

Posted in ACC, College Football, Conference USA, Memphis, Memphis Tigers, NCAA, NFL Draft, Sports, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Here’s A Way To Keep Gas Prices Down

Posted by Joel Jackson on July 7, 2008

Everyone is being affected by the high gas prices in our country right now. Our company, like most businesses, is seeing transportation and manufacturing costs rise almost exponentially. The average American is spending more on gas than at any time in our country’s history. Sadly, this trend, according to some analysts, will continue through the end of the year. Currently, Obama and McCain have included plans to help alleviate the energy crisis, and from barbershops to flea markets, everyone has an answer…including me 😉

Yes, even a pagan such as myself has an answer to the gas crunch…

I would not dare suggest that we start drilling on the hallowed grounds of Notre Dame Stadium. But the Fighting Irish, warming up here last year against Navy (which Navy won), is the solution.

According to the World Almanac, in 1973, the average price of a gallon of gas in the U.S. was 51 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title that year. Every year after, the price of gas went up on average of 3 cents a gallon. In 1977, gas was up to 65 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title again. Gas prices did not rise again until 1979. But in 1980, gas went up into the 1 dollar range (right before the Gerry Faust era). When Lou Holtz delivered the Fighting Irish another title in 1986, gas actually went down to 93 cents, down from 1.20. Consequentially, gas prices experienced huge jumps in 1999 (when they were placed on probation under Bob Davie) and also in 2004 (when Ty Willingham was fired).

To me it is simple: We should all root for Notre Dame to win the national title this year. Get them a national TV contract. Continue to have high hopes for them, even if it may seem misguided. Give them a schedule that should guarantee some success. Like the great Paul Hornung said, “Get the black athlete”. Above all, someone in the national media, hell, make it two people in the national media, should stomp for them.

Only then the terrorists won’t win…Touchdown Jesus will…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, BCS, big 10, Big East, big ten, big ten football, boo birds, boosters, Brady Quinn, Charlie Weis, cheaters, College Football, drunk, DUI, football, Football Poll, NCAA, NCAA Rules Violation, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Notre Dame, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Sports, tyrone Willingham, University of Southern Cal | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Yeah Officer the Gun is Mine but the Dope isn’t

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 23, 2008

Preston Parker was named Florida State’s most valuable player last season after leading the team with 1,513 all-purpose yards and 62 receptions, was arrested late Monday and charged with carrying a concealed .45-caliber pistol and a small amount of Florida’s finest sweet stinky weed.

This Bobby Bowden Chapter Mensa member was picked up by the F$U Po Po a little before midnight Monday for carrying a loaded semiautomatic .45-caliber pistol wedged into the dash of the car next to a bag of marijuana. Police also found a separate container stuffed with marijuana, according to the arrest report.

Parker told police he didn’t know anything about the marijuana. However, he admitted the gun was his, purchased for him by a friend before his birthday earlier this year.

That’s just sheer brilliance shining through. Someone please inform Mr. Parker that the gun is a FELONY. How South Carolina let this one get away is a mystery to me.

If someone asked me “Hey do you want to make millions and play football for the next 15 years? Just stay out of trouble, don’t smoke weed or do any other drugs.”

I’m pretty sure I could stop smoking for 15 years and MAYBE not carry illegal guns (sarcasm). I think being set for life with more money than I could imagine would be enough motivation. But I guess a lot of these idiots can’t think that far.

Florida State’s disciplinary policy calls for suspension of any athlete facing criminal charges and prohibits any student-athlete charged with a felony, from competing until the charge is resolved. Which knowing the weight Bowden still carries should be rather soon.

“Once we’ve thoroughly reviewed the details of the incident, we will handle the situation according to that policy,” said Randy Spetman, who was named athletic director earlier this year and most likely regrets it.

The Seminoles already have six starters sitting out suspensions from a classroom cheating scandal last year.

The funny thing is Florida State kicked Randy Moss out of school in the mid-1990s for being caught smoking marijuana in a West Virginia jail. Only in West Virginia…

This isn’t the first time Parker has made friends with the Po Po, he was also arrested by Tallahassee police in 2006 for swiping a $10 DVD at a Best Buy store. Yes folks…a freaking $10 DVD…sad…yes…pathetic…better believe it…was it at least a good flick? Doubtful.

In daily life as a working stiff or college athlete I am trying to think of a place, time or spot where a gun would be needed (other than law enforcement). If you think you need a gun you probably shouldn’t go to college. Is Logic mandatory? I mean it sucks as a class but it is very useful.

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, Bobby Bowden, Florida State Seminoles, FSU | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Closer Look at Tyler Hansbro

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 28, 2008

Posted in ACC, North Carolina Tarheels, Tyler Hansbro | 3 Comments »

“Da U” Is Back???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 27, 2008

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The University of Miami used to be a dominant force in college football. They were brash, cocky, arrogant, and flashy. They were called Miami’s other pro football team. All-Pro after All-Pro played football there. As dominant as they were on the field, they were just as dominant in the Miami-Dade County lockup, with arrests for assault, marijuana possession (intent to distribute and use), domestic violence, gun possession, DUI, and an armed robbery once.

Well new coach Randy Shannon said last year that he would restore Miami back to dominance. After a 5-6 season last year, Shannon, known as a great recruiter, had a top 5 recruiting class this year with some very promising players, including what seems like every starter from local powerhouse Miami Northwestern. It seems like he is on his way to leading the ‘Canes back on the field…and off the field. Of course, his staff is taking charge in an R. Kelly type of way…

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This is Rick Korch. He is was the university’s football team’s spokesman. He was fired and a criminal investigation has begun on child pornography charges after “questionable” images were found on his university computer.

He complained to the IT department that his PC was running slow. So when a technician checked it out, several images of child porn were found. Every computer on the university’s campus (just like most businesses) require a username and password, so even if he said that he didn’t download the child porn, he must have given out his login info to someone else, which is Computer 101 no-no. Of course, he already has a lawyer on the case, William Barzee. Here’s his statement:

“Rick Korch was terminated at the University of Miami due to inappropriate pornography on his work computer. However, he is innocent of any criminal wrongdoing and looks forward to having the opportunity to clear his name in the appropriate forum at the appropriate time. This is a private matter and we wish it to remain so.”

I am no lawyer but I have seen enough “To Catch A Predator” shows to know that child porn is illegal. I think law guys call this “spinning for the potential jury”. Whatever. Korch has an impressive resume and is married with 4 kids. I am no psychic, but I am willing to guess that soon it will be used to be married.

A fine start back to the express train to Babylon for Miami. Perverseness is one clear sign of the path that they are taking, and not even school president Donna Shalala, former Secretary of Health & Human Services for President Clinton, can’t stop the rolling ball once it starts. As for Korch, he will be ok. I am sure he will run into a former player or booster in Cell Block M…

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Posted in ACC, ACC Football, BCS, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, College Football, Marijuana, mary jane, Miami hurricanes | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let’s Go Belmont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 18, 2008

It’s NCAA tournament time. The time of year where 65 teams have hopes of winning a title. People call in sick for work, office copiers run off brackets constantly (someone keep and eye on Rick Neuheisel) for office pools, and ESPN has their college basketball talking heads in overtime. Yet, just as it has been for as long as I can remember, I analyze the brackets for one singular reason: To cheer on whatever college is playing Duke. This year, we start with Belmont

In my time in Nashville, I ran across a lot of students and alums of Belmont University. They are very nice people, and they represent their school (founded on Christian principles) to the fullest. Minnie Pearl and Rachel Smith (Miss USA 2007) are two of their most famous alums. Athletically, the school is part of the Atlantic Sun Conference and is going to their 3rd consecutive NCAA tournament.

However, this is not so much a post rooting for the Belmont Bruins, although I am now officially on the Bruin bandwagon. There are a few sports teams that I cannot stand, and Duke is one of them. I hate the love fest that Dick Vitale and Mike Patrick have whenever they broadcast a Duke basketball game. The school turns McDonald’s All-Americans into NBA busts (Jason Williams, Mike Dunleavy, Jr, Bobby Hurley, Mike Gminski). The “Cameron Crazies” with their supposedly above average intelligence and their trust funds jump around like someone put Icy Hot in their Calvin Kleins. Their point guards are so gritty and tough slapping the half court at home to fire up the crowd. Coach KKK (affectionetly called this by the Nation of Islam Sportsblog) slowly morphs more into the Duke logo that he defends. You would have thought when UConn, led by Richard Hamilton, won the NCAA title in Tampa that I was a Husky fan.

Duke is officially on watch. I wanna see Greg Paulus (maybe the worst starting point guard in the NCAA today) get teabagged like Deron Washington from Va. Tech did here in the pic…

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Go Bruins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, here’s Rachel Smith’s headshot…
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Posted in ACC, Coach K, Dick Vitale, draft pick, Duke, Duke Blue Devils, dumbass, ESPN, Evil Empire, legal troubles, Mascots, mentally challenged, NCAA, Virginia Tech | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

YMSWWC’s “Official” NFL Draft Preview Picks 1-5

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 12, 2008

Well I am a little bit depressed because the TV will be polluted with coverage of Roger Clemens v. Brian MacNamee. How many times can one hear a variation of “It Wasn’t Me???” Examples: “I didn’t use steroids. Period.” “I did not have sexual relations with woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” “I didn’t kill my wife and her friend.” “I didn’t try to make it rain in the strip club.” “I am not a crook.” So with that said, let us instead focus on the future, where we can hope that this top rated prospect becomes either the next Dan Fouts or the next Tony Mandarich. This year, I think we might have both. Here are the official (unless Thomas says different) YMSWWC NFL Mock Draft Picks (1-5)

ani_mermaid2.gif Miami Dolphins: These heartbreakers have the distinct pleasure of picking first. Yes the needs are many. There is not a position on the field that they do not need any immediate help. Outside of Jason Taylor, you can pretty much trash the roster. In comes Bill Parcells. He will bring organization to a franchise that still is trying to recover from “Saban Nation”. I have heard that a certain billionaire wildcatter who is an Arkansas alum may be trying to trade up with a certain coach turned GM that used to sign that GM’s checks, and that would make sense. Dolphins could use 2 first round picks, but I don’t see that happening. With that said, they will take long hard look at Glenn Dorsey, Jake Long, and Chris Long. So the pick will be: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.

a_sosheep_0205.jpgSt. Louis Rams-Yet another team that went through a hard season. These aren’t your 1999-2002 Rams anymore. They are more like the 1989-1998 Rams. Age, injuries, bad free agent signings have turned these rams into sheep (Quick Longhorn/Aggie joke: How do you know when you are getting close to AggieLand? When you start seeing the sheep back up to the fence). Defense is more of a need than offense at this point. Pick: Chris Long, DE, Virginia.

images.jpeg Atlanta Falcons-Wow. Holy weed smoking, dog fighting, carpet bagging, GM and Coach rejection Batman. What in the world is going on in the ATL??? Well this is actually an easy pick, just because they have one big black hole where the QB spot is (not the black hole that is being pounded in Leavenworth). I think this will be a bad pick, but somebody’s gotta overpay for an All-American QB, so it might as well be Arthur Blank. Pick: Matt Ryan (Leaf), QB, Boston College

soul-hc-c.jpg Kansas City Chiefs-Offensive Line, Offensive Line, Offensive Line. Yes, they need a QB and another WR, but what good is all of that if you have a revolving door for an offensive line??? It’s hard to think that the O-Line was just a few years ago spectacular. Even though I love Ryan Clady from Boise St., that makes too much sense, and the overlord team President known as Carl Petersen doesn’t make decisions that make sense. So: Jake Long, OT, Michigan

chibi-jack-sparrow-by-evilchibiminion.jpg Oakland Raiders-These are some of the most dedicated fans that I have seen, and yet, some of the scariest. I had a couple of friends that went to Whatevertheycallit Coliseum to see Oakland and the Titans play. They figured a nice trip to the Bay Area would be great. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good trip. One word of advice: If making the trip to see a Raiders game, do NOT wear the other team’s colors unless your name is Kimbo Slice or you love the aroma of beer, weed, and middle aged biker chicks. Of course, this is Uncle Al’s team, and he LOVES offense. Guess who this pick will be??? Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Picks 6-10 will be coming soon…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, bad calls, bad newz kennels, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Boise State, bongs, boo birds, boosters, boston college, cheaters, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, dog fighting, draft pick, drugs, dumbass, ESPN, Feds, fired, football, Football Poll, gambling, Georgia, Goodell, Hip Hop, ho, Internet Rumors, Jerry Jones, killer, legal troubles, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, miami dolphins, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Nick Saban, notre dame sucks, OJ, OJ Simpson, Pac 10, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, Ricky Williams, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, secrets, Sports, steroids, stupid, The Big East, Vick, Vick Plea, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

There’s An Axe Swinging At ESPN/ABC

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 11, 2008

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In today’s USA Today, it is reported that Michele Tafoya and Suzy Kolber will have reduced roles during their Monday Night Football telecasts. As of right now, there is no word as to what exactly their new roles will be. According to ESPN’s Mike Soltys, “There precise roles are yet to be determined.” Also, on the ABC Sports side, contracts of Dan Fouts and Tim Brandt will not be renewed. Fouts and Brandt mostly worked on Pac-10 games.

Tafoya and Kolber should not be the only changes on the Monday Night Football broadcast. Kornheiser needs to go. While I am not that familiar with his columns, I thought he did a great on the radio and works well with Mike Wilbon on PTI. In the broadcast booth, he is no better than Dennis Miller. At least he doesn’t try to use words from an SAT study guide like Miller commonly does. Personally, I would like to see Mike “Sexual Harassment” Tirico go too. Give some young and up and coming broadcaster the gig. Also, if they want to upgrade from Tafoya and Kolber, America’s Favorite Gator Erin Andrews is available.

As for Fouts and Brandt, I thought they were great on the telecast. Personally, I thought they made the best broadcast team that ABC/ESPN had for football coverage. I think the problem was that they focused on the details of the game. X’s and O’s were their thing. This is the ABC/ESPN mindset: Who needs X’s and O’s and who wants to learn more about the game, when Matthew McGodhesgay is down there in the student section??? Let’s put a shirt on that guy, take that Texas sized spliff out of his hands, and bring him up to the booth so he can talk about his Longhorns. After all, nothing says Longhorn football like a shirtless neo-conservative playing the bongos and having a case of the munchies.

Here is my personal list of people I think need to be let go by ESPN specifically:

*Stuart Scott-Can a man be so much of a walking cliche??? He was cool back in 1997 and has aged since.

*Colin Cowherd-Bring back Kornheiser on the radio. Cowherd belongs on Fox Sports Radio. Douchebag.

*Sean Salisbury-Do I honestly need a reason here???

*Kirk Herbstreit-Pretty boy QB with the analytical abilities of a 5 year old Madden gamer.

*Skip Bayless-He’s another guy that believes his own press clippings too much.

*Mike Lupica-Suffers from “Little Man Syndrome” and probably Erectile Dysfunction.

* Any of the Baseball Tonight Crew Not Named Karl Ravech, Peter Gammons, or Buster Olney.

*Rachel Nichols-I think she would be cool not in front of the camera. She doesn’t blink for God’s sake. Freaky…

*Mike & Mike-Insert gay & meathead joke here.

I know I left out the usual names like Berman, Musberger, Mike Patrick, Dana Jacobson. They always give us great YouTube clips, so I think they should stay. Plus, I heard Dana Jacobsen loves to party. Also, I left out overrated RB Emmitt Smith. I know he can’t talk, but if they send him to ESPN Deportes for about 3 months so he can learn Spanish, he just might do better. Just keep him away from Adriana Monsalve

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Posted in ACC, ACC Football, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, baseball, basketball, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Chris Berman, College Basketball, College Football, College Gameday, ESPN, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Gator mafia, Internet Rumors, legal troubles, Major League Baseball, MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Sexual-Harassment Case, steroids, Stu Scott, stupid, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »