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Archive for the ‘Adam Jones’ Category

Calling all depressed Cowboy fans

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 13, 2009

Are you down in the dumps because the T.O. experiment was a colossal failure? Maybe you’re depressed because the Steelers are the one true king of the NFL.

Well…I have just the solution for you.

GET DRUNK! Off the Jerome Bettis edition of Jose Cuervo! That way you will feel like how Pacman Jones feels while in strip-clubs:

jose

Alone, angry, depressed and drunk all at once.

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Posted in Adam Jones, Dallas Cowboys, NFL, Pacman Jones, Pittsburgh Steelers | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pacman Jones has a job…for now

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 10, 2009

Well it appears that Pacman Jones is gainfully employed, at least for the time being. Jones is one of the “Pros” on the TV show Pros vs. Joes. Since this is Pacman we are discussing it should be noted that he is already causing trouble. Imagine that! So far his “after football” career is starting to sound like a bad Will Farrell movie…

LA Times sports writer Sam Farmer stopped by the set of the show to witness a bunch of wannabes against a bunch of aging and/or derelict former professional athletes. There was an incident between Pacman and former Holy Cross linebacker Dan Adams:

“Anyway, Adams stuck Jones at the goal line, jarring loose the football. It was pretty funny, because Jones had been talking trash to that point, referring to Adams as “Waterboy.” A few minutes after the hit, the two exchanged punches and had to be separated.

“He hit me 10 yards out of bounds, kind of a cheap shot,” Adams said. “I couldn’t sit there and not retaliate. You’ve got to have some pride and dignity.”

As for the oft-suspended Jones, released by the Dallas Cowboys after the season, he didn’t seem too concerned about how he came off on camera.

“I guess that’s the person he wants to be,” Adams said. “But I guess in his defense, people kind of get caught up in the heat of the moment.”

That’s right folks you have to have some pride and dignity…says the guy who is non-ironically a contestant on fucking Pros vs. Joes.

I guess Pacman never actually saw that movie. Everyone knows not to mess with Waterboy. What is he? Nuts? Oh, right. This incident will inevitably lead to the spin-off “Makin’ It Rain vs. Bringin’ the Pain” with Terry Tate.

This is the closest to professional football that Jones will ever get to again. It’s time for the Pros vs. Joes production team to move to threat level orange. For some reason I believe Jones wants to get thrown off the show, that way TNA Wrestling will see he’s a fighter and invite him back to the squared ring.

I doubt it would be legal, but if this show actually degenerates into honest-to-God spontaneous bare-knuckle fisticuffs it could blow up in the ratings.

Forget Pros vs. Joes; just wait until you see Pacman’s upcoming reality series, Pros vs. Hoes.

Rumor has it that Jones also displayed certain tendencies of PTSD, saying after the taping, “You gotta take your shot at Blinky when you get the chance.”

Posted in Adam Jones, Fights, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Pros vs. Joes | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Pacman Jones is getting sued? You don’t say

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2009

Well, here’s a shocker. Pacman Jones is being sued, except this time he is being sued by some stripper; no instead he’s being sued by his own attorney.

“Manny Arora claims Jones stiffed him for fees “in excess of $10,000” on 18 different cases in which Arora represented either Jones’ family members or friends.

None of the cases mentioned in the lawsuit filed in Fulton State Court involve Jones directly.

The suit lists Deborah Jones, James Jones, Lewis Kueffor and Fleming Daniels as the defendants Arora assisted. The charges against them vary from speeding to kidnapping, simple battery and, in the case of Daniels, murder.”

The bottom line is this:

You are the company that you keep.

That’s why Pacman had so much trouble during his career; he might not have been raised to know any better and was unable to leave that life behind. When someone with that kind of background gets money this is what sometimes happens.

Some people don’t know when they have it good. Given the opportunity to do something that you do well and enjoy, and to have the opportunity to accumulate wealth that would make living that much easier, how can you mess that up? How can you not see what you have going for you? You can’t blame your present situation on your past upbringing because these are choices and if you did not come from “easy street”, then you should appreciate your success that much more. To say the least, his career may be over. After what ESPN Outside The Lines showed  clearly that Adam Jones does not get it.

Word of advice to this attorney…if Pacman wants to meet you at a strip club to talk things over, don’t go.

Posted in Adam Jones, court tv, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, legal troubles, NFL Football, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Pacman Jones: “I liked’d the Scrip clubs”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 12, 2009

Vodpod videos no longer available.

During the CBS pregame last Saturday the most enlightening interview with Pacman Jones was aired in which Jones admitted the obvious. Of course all of this was ruined with in the appearance of his attorney.

After seeing this interview I’m convinced that we should enter Pacman in the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.


Posted in Adam Jones, NFL, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Game Over in Dallas for Pacman Jones, look out Raiders here he comes

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 8, 2009

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Jerry Jonesky

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Jerry Jonesky

Somewhere Adam Jones is sitting quietly by a MacBook whilst googling “City with NFL Franchise + Abundance of Titty Bars + Relaxed domestic abuse laws” as a means of plotting the next move in his, to this point, masterfully orchestrated career.

The drama in Dallas never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday I could hear the laughter coming out of the Titians practice facility when the news of Pacman Jones’ release from Dallas broke.

The release came after “Outside the Lines” reporter John Barr contacted snitched to the NFL, the Cowboys and Jones’ attorneys about a piece scheduled to air this Sunday in which three Atlanta-area men allege that Jones arranged for someone to shoot at them two months after the football player was suspended by NFL commissioner Goodell in 2007.

Wow, really? I thought he’d turned his life around…*Sarcasm*

The shooting allegedly occurred outside an Atlanta strip club. One of the victims told “Outside the Lines” that he had a dispute with Jones inside the strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. Ironically the NFL knew about that incident, but charges were never brought against anyone because the victims did not see the shooter.

“Outside the Lines” obtained information that police, investigating a separate Atlanta-area case, had been told by an informant that Jones ordered the June 2007 shooting following his dispute with one of the men. Police have said while the case remains open they are not actively investigating.

Shocking I can’t be the only one who thought he’d quietly finish out his career as a Cowboy without incident. *Even more sarcasm*

Pacman told the Dallas Morning News “It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN. That’s stupid. It’s so stupid I have no more comments.”

Woo Hoo let’s all hope this reaches Judge Judy’s docket!

“He was surprised, and I think he was obviously somewhat hurt,” said Worrick Robinson, Jones’ agent. “At the same time, he understands the business behind what is happening here.”

“We don’t have any reason to believe at this point that that off-the-field incident had anything to do with the team’s decision today,” Robinson said. “I know there was certainly a lot of bad that came out of that situation, but there was some good that came out of that situation as well.”

Jones’ attorney added he expects the cornerback will be back with some team in 2009.

“He is young. He has a lot of ability and he is eager to get back on the field,” Robinson said.

I believe he is correct in that statement after all there’s always the Raiders I’m sure Al Davis will meet him at the crossroads, or he can resume that wrestling career.

I wouldn’t be surprised if his next TV appearance is on The First 48 or Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Posted in Adam Jones, Al Davis, Assault & Battery, Atlanta, Dallas Cowboys, NFL Football, Oakland Raiders, Pacman, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Glocks & Athletes Are Not A Good Combination

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 1, 2008

I was well prepared to talk about Tennessee hiring Lane Kiffin and what I thought of it. I along with millions of other Volunteer fans have my opinion, but I want to spend this time to talk about a troubling trend the past, oh, 14 years or so. I am about to do my best Jason Whitlock impersonation, except I am not as big, well-known, or paid.

I have known and/or met quite a few pro athletes in my day. By and large, the ones that I have met are down to earth guys, trying to improve themselves in the sport that they play. They are trying to improve themselves so they can improve their bank accounts. For the athletes that have come from little to nothing growing up, they try to help out family and friends along their journey to fame and fortune. This cycle can lead to problems.

To the athletes reading this blog, please do the following couple of things for me:

*Leave the guns at home…

I am watching the Redskins vs. Giants game. Ironic because on this day, where the Redskins are honoring fallen teammate Sean Taylor, who was murdered in his home a year ago, Plaxico Burress is facing weapons charges because he decided to go “Cheddar Bob” on his thigh while carrying a handgun illegally (or he wanted to be on the next diss record of Eminem, 50 Cent, and Busta Rhymes). If the club was such a bad place to be, then why go??? He’s married (to a lawyer) and has a young son. Why put yourself through now facing jail time over seeing some ass shaking at the club, and get teammate Antonio Pierce involved??? Stephen Jackson, Jamaal Tinsley, and Marvin Harrison would agree. If you are about to go somewhere and you think that you need a gun, then don’t go. If I need a gun to go to my local Quickie Mart for a chocolate squishy, then I won’t be seeing Apu that night. Which leads me to the next point…

*Do not own more than 3 guns…

A wise man once told me that if you are gonna own a gun for home protection, get 3. One should be a handgun that you can grab quickly (Glock), one should be a rifle or shotgun, and one should be a small pistol that your woman could shoot in a pinch (.22 or .38). Whether this is wise or not, I think this is sound advice. In other words, do not be Tank Johnson. And if you wanna be a rapper, PLEASE do not be T.I.

ti_gun_collection_101707

*Last, everyone is not out to get you…

Unless you allow yourself to be associated with bad people, not everyone is out to get you. Yes, crime is everywhere, and what happened to Sean Taylor was a tragedy not of his doing, but of 4 kids who wanted to take a short cut at getting ahead. At the same time, you athletes for the most part have more money than I will ever see. Use some of that to invest in a security company and let bodyguards carry the weapons. Because if you pull a Plax and not have that concealed handgun license, you could shoot yourself at 3 a.m., or face jail time. And please don’t rob any convenience stores…

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adam Jones, armed robbery, Assault & Battery, Bail Bondsman, basketball, Brawls, Chicago Bears, classless, court tv, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, dumbass, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, football, Goodell, guilty, Jemele Hill, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Football, NRA, Police, Sports, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Nobody and I mean NOBODY makes Roger Goodell look like a fool. (Except Roger Goodell of course)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 15, 2008

Pacman in trouble? Stevie Wonder could have seen this coming but you couldn’t could you Roger? I know, I know but Jerry Jones told us (and you) that he didn’t do anything wrong, it was Donkey Kong…

Roger, Roger Roger…I can’t believe you actually fell for it, you actually believed the player formally known as Pacman Jones turned a corner in his life. You know you believed it Roger, don’t deny it. On October the 8th you were quoted as saying:

“Adam knows how much emphasis I put on making sure that he makes good choices going forward, that he avoids situations where he can reflect poorly on himself, the Cowboys or the NFL. So far he seems to have been able to do that very effectively.

“I am supportive of him and am hopeful that he will be able to do that for the rest of his life. I am hoping he will not only be a great NFL player but he will continue to do the right things so he can lead a productive life off the field as well.”

Now here it is a week later after you spoke those words and you have suspended Pacman Adam Jones for at least four games. Do you feel foolish Roger? Do you? Perhaps you should.

In your letter to Pacman Adam Jones that informed him of his latest and greatest suspension, you wrote that Jones’ “disturbing pattern of behavior was clearly inconsistent with the conditions I set for your continued participation in the NFL.”

When you reinstated Pacman Adam Jones from suspension before the regular season began, one of the your conditions for Jones to remain an active player was that he remain in compliance with all aspects of his three-year probation from when he pleaded no contest last February to a felony in Fayette County, Ga.

Now we know that you’re expecting to weigh whether Pacman Adam Jones was in potential violation of his probation, in which he was prohibited from alcohol-related incidents.

Are you feeling a tad bit stupid yet Roger?

You’re now reduced to saying that your decision on whether Pacman Adam Jones can return to play will be based on his strict compliance with the NFL and the Cowboys in relation to treatment plans and evaluations by clinical “experts.”

The Cowboys owner Jerry “Soulless” Jones said he does not regret making the trade that brought Adam Jones to Dallas.

“I don’t regret having been a part of helping him do better. I am sorry that we’ve had the negative publicity and that is the price that we pay for the team as well as the NFL.”

However I bet the Titians do regret making the trade, because according to the terms of the trade that sent Pacman Adam Jones to Dallas, they would have to give the Cowboys a fifth-round draft pick if Jones is suspended again by the NFL.

See folks Pacman can screw a team that he isn’t even playing for.

Of course I have to ask the following question:

Is it too late to get Pacman Adam Jones on one of those Guinness commercials? Punching out your own bodyguard while on probation? BRILLIANT!

Seriously this does offer hope that the Ron Mexico Revolution still can live on!

Roger…one more behavior issue with Pacman Adam Jones and he should be expelled from the NFL…wait didn’t you already say that once before?

Also Roger you’re setting a bad example. This seems more like a grudge than anything else. Larry Johnson has been charged with assault numerous times but has never been subject to your czar-like discipline. I really don’t care one way or another about the Cowboys, but I can’t help but look at the track record and see hypocrisy all over the place.

Pacman Adam Jones hasn’t learned that playing in the NFL is a special privilege, not a right. He knew he had no leeway, and even something that brought the cops out, regardless of charges being filed, would not sit well with the bosses.

However I imagine he’ll serve the 4 game suspension and be back, though, assuming there’s no “rain” of any kind in his or your forecast.

Posted in Adam Jones, Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, NFL, NFL Football, Pacman Jones, Roger Goodell, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Pacman joins the Cowboys & Jessica Simpson starts stripping. Coincidence?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 5, 2008

According to the other “World Wide Leader in Sports” the Sun newspaper, Jessica Simpson has been giving Tony Homo Romo a strip show via a web-cam. She is doing it to keep the romance alive. But I think this is a way for the Cowboys to keep Pacman out of the strip clubs.Somehow T.O. is involved with this but I haven’t made that connection…yet.

The Shocking part: Jessica Simpson knows how to work a web cam.

A pal said: “Jess has no problem showing Tony her favourite ‘PUSSYCAT DOLLS‘ routine. She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy.”

Jessica makes sure her web cam shows are for Tony’s eyes only according to the paper.

The pal added: “Jess does get paranoid, making sure Tony doesn’t have any of his Cowboys buddies peeking in on the show.”

This can only end with videos winding up on the internet then again Peter King does the same thing for Brett Fa***.

Posted in Adam Jones, Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, Jessica Simpson, NFL Football, Pacman, T.O., Terrell Owens, Tony Romo, Web Cam Strippers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Pac Man Jones Sells Cars while awaiting Reinstatement

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 26, 2008

Even though Pac Man Jones sorry Rain Man Jones hasn’t been reinstated by Roger Goodell, he can still save you MO MONEY, MO MONEY, MO MONEY!!!

That’s right even though he hasn’t been cleared to play or practice for that matter, Adam Jones is pimping rides for “Drivers Select“. And look who’s with him. Why it’s “Prime Time” Deion Sanders!

Clearly Drivers Select wasn’t working with a big budget for this. I love how Adam Jones formally known as Pac Man doesn’t try to pretend that he isn’t reading from a cue card. And what a snazzy Drivers Select jersey you have there Pac.. I mean Adam.

Look for Jones to land more endorsement deals if he is reinstated for such fine establishments like “Mee Maws Truck Driving & Law School” & “Mrs. Wong’s Happy Ending Massage Parlors”.

Posted in Adam Jones, Dallas Cowboys, Deion Sanders, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »