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Archive for the ‘Al Davis’ Category

The Gruden Firing, it was a Mercy Firing

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 19, 2009

nba_a_gruden1_sw_576

When Tennessee was still searching for coach many rumors surfaced around Jon Gruden. Oh the message boards were full of Vol fans saying that their “inside sources” had Gruden in as a lock. Then (not so surprisingly) Gruden announced that he had no interest in the Tennessee coaching job.

Now some 2 months later, Gruden might be regretting not taking a closer look at that position.

Last Saturday shock waves were sent through the NFL when Tampa Bay announced that Jon Gruden is out as head coach and Raheem Morris was named the new head coach. Morris had been the defensive coordinator since…um Christmas.

After examining Tampa’s numbers since Gruden took over as coach, I’m not that surprised that he was fired. A lot of people keep looking back at the Super Bowl season and asking why was he fired. As a fan I can tell you why: That was Tony Dungy’s team that won the Super Bowl.

Tampa Bay never averaged more than 23 points a game in a season and for four of the seven seasons Gruden was there, they didn’t average 20 points per game.

  • 2002: 21.63 ppg
  • 2003: 18.8 ppg
  • 2004: 18.8 ppg
  • 2005: 18.75 ppg
  • 2006: 13.19 ppg
  • 2007: 20.88 ppg
  • 2008: 22.56 ppg

In a cruel twist of fate, this past season was Tampa Bay’s most offensively productive season. There were other factors that involved his firing.

  • 9-18 in the month of December
  • 45-53 after the Super Bowl
  • 1st round losses in the playoffs in 2005 & 2007

Tennessee might have indivertibly been the final nail in the Gruden coffin by luring Monte Kiffin, the main reason for Tampa’s defensive dominance, to become defensive coordinator and working under his son.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Jon, but his firing shouldn’t be that surprised once you analyze the numbers. What’s strange is that Herm Edwards and Marvin Lewis haven’t been fired…yet.

I’m going to miss poor Chucky, loved hearing the F-Bombs he’d be dropping during the game that the sideline audio would pick up. He was always very amusing to watch, and read his lips.

Somewhere, hooked up to an iron lung, Al Davis is attempting to laugh. Only laughing will accelerate his death. And Al Davis is hell-bent on never dying.

aldavisgrantorino

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Posted in Al Davis, fired, Jon Gruden, NFL Football, Tampa Bay Bucs | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Game Over in Dallas for Pacman Jones, look out Raiders here he comes

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 8, 2009

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Jerry Jonesky

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Jerry Jonesky

Somewhere Adam Jones is sitting quietly by a MacBook whilst googling “City with NFL Franchise + Abundance of Titty Bars + Relaxed domestic abuse laws” as a means of plotting the next move in his, to this point, masterfully orchestrated career.

The drama in Dallas never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday I could hear the laughter coming out of the Titians practice facility when the news of Pacman Jones’ release from Dallas broke.

The release came after “Outside the Lines” reporter John Barr contacted snitched to the NFL, the Cowboys and Jones’ attorneys about a piece scheduled to air this Sunday in which three Atlanta-area men allege that Jones arranged for someone to shoot at them two months after the football player was suspended by NFL commissioner Goodell in 2007.

Wow, really? I thought he’d turned his life around…*Sarcasm*

The shooting allegedly occurred outside an Atlanta strip club. One of the victims told “Outside the Lines” that he had a dispute with Jones inside the strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. Ironically the NFL knew about that incident, but charges were never brought against anyone because the victims did not see the shooter.

“Outside the Lines” obtained information that police, investigating a separate Atlanta-area case, had been told by an informant that Jones ordered the June 2007 shooting following his dispute with one of the men. Police have said while the case remains open they are not actively investigating.

Shocking I can’t be the only one who thought he’d quietly finish out his career as a Cowboy without incident. *Even more sarcasm*

Pacman told the Dallas Morning News “It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN. That’s stupid. It’s so stupid I have no more comments.”

Woo Hoo let’s all hope this reaches Judge Judy’s docket!

“He was surprised, and I think he was obviously somewhat hurt,” said Worrick Robinson, Jones’ agent. “At the same time, he understands the business behind what is happening here.”

“We don’t have any reason to believe at this point that that off-the-field incident had anything to do with the team’s decision today,” Robinson said. “I know there was certainly a lot of bad that came out of that situation, but there was some good that came out of that situation as well.”

Jones’ attorney added he expects the cornerback will be back with some team in 2009.

“He is young. He has a lot of ability and he is eager to get back on the field,” Robinson said.

I believe he is correct in that statement after all there’s always the Raiders I’m sure Al Davis will meet him at the crossroads, or he can resume that wrestling career.

I wouldn’t be surprised if his next TV appearance is on The First 48 or Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Posted in Adam Jones, Al Davis, Assault & Battery, Atlanta, Dallas Cowboys, NFL Football, Oakland Raiders, Pacman, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Weeeeee let’s get ready for the NFL playoffs as the NFL coaching carousel begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 30, 2008

Before the NFL playoffs begin the coaching carousel must start to take shape and it has already begun.

So let’s review the coaches who are out so far.

The first on the list is Eric Mangini which is not a huge surprise. The Jets obtained the most delusional QB in Brett Favre and God knows Favre doesn’t throw interceptions at bad times in big games. *Sarcasm*

Is this where I can discuss Brett Favre's heroic effort through the greatest of injuries?

To makes matters worse according to Pro Football Talk, his role in Spygate could hinder his employability. Let’s also mention the fact he had man-boobs but was a good disciplinarian, but I swear to god you got out coached 4/5 weeks.

This is the worst thing to happen to him since King Of Queens got cancelled.

The second one on this list is Romeo Crennel. Now let’s not all act surprised here. Technically speaking Crennel was fired before the Jets’ Eric Mangini or the Lions’ Rod Marinelli who is next on this list.

Crennel’s firing came shortly after the Browns fired general manager Phil Savage.

I myself question his employability. He had five coaching job interviews in less than 36 hours in 2003. The teams that turned him down were the New York Giants, Buffalo Bills, Arizona Cardinals, Chicago Bears and Atlanta Falcons.

Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel: The “Generation K” of Patriots coordinators.

Just to make Browns fans cringe in even more misery, according to AP, the Browns have asked Bill Cowher if he were interested in the job, but Cowher said no thanks.

The third on this list is the Lions’ Rod Marinelli which is the least surprising firing in the history of the NFL. That’s what 0-16 will do for you. So the Toyota “Saved by Zero” promotion does not apply here.

Nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like the bloodlust shown on the Monday after the football season. Three cheers for people getting axed!!

The Browns come a long way since being pre-season champs (4-0). On the bright side, they have two first-round draft picks, on the dark side; the Lions need a team enema.

Tim “The Toolman” Taylor thinks this team can’t even be fixed with the new Binford Suck3000.

So many new candidates for Al Davis to choose from!!!

Posted in Al Davis, Brett Favre, cleveland browns, Detroit Lions, divorce court, Eric Mangini, fired, New York Jets, NFL Football, Rod Marinelli, Romeo Crennel | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Yes, Tennessee will sacrifice for King Kiffin

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 5, 2008

Yes times are tight, that’s more than apparent. However Tennessee has such a belief in King Kiffin that the student and employees are willing to sacrifice their comfort for him. After all that 2 million dollar a year salary has to come from somewhere.

When Al Davis opens the Ninth Gate of Hell and sends his unholy minions to destroy Lane Kiffin once and for all next fall, their flaming swords and shields should heat up Knoxville considerably.

Posted in Al Davis, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Broken Plays: Does Tennessee actually have a new coach edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 26, 2008

First let me start with saying there will be no update for Thursday since it will be Thanksgiving. I plan on spending the day rooting against the Cowboys and enjoying time with family and friends.

But you never know…I might break away and post something….maybe

Well the hottest rumor abound is that Tennessee is planning on announcing that Lane Kiffin will the new football coach on December 1st. If that is the case then I’m staking my claim right here, right now that from that day on out he shall be known as King Kiffin. ™ Ooh…look a trademark logo.

It is not know how Al Davis will react to the news. Let’s see…

If this picture came at me in 3D, I'd be spending the afternoon shopping for a new pair of pants.

Wow…I’m speechless. Speaking of Al Davis how would you like to him in 3-D? According to the Wall Street Journal, the NFL has announced that the Dec. 4 game between the Chargers and Raiders will be broadcast live in 3-D to theaters in Los Angeles, New York and Boston. The three screenings – for NFL and consumer electronics executives only – are a “preliminary step” toward what could be regular 3-D broadcasts throughout the NFL schedule.

My thoughts are l Davis in 3-D isn’t a technological advancement, it’s a threat.

Keeping with the NFL Newsday is reporting that the league is looking why Brandon Jacobs was inactive for the past game against Arizona. Zona’s complaint steams from the fact the Giants deactivated him hours before game-time on Sunday after he was listed as probable on Friday. Call it whining if you want, but the NFL requires teams to fill out an injury reports for a reason.

Tom Coughlin was not happy to be asked about this allegation either.

“I don’t know what you are trying to stir up or what you are trying to say, but we did everything the right way,” he said. “I really believed that he would play and then he felt like he wasn’t going to be able to contribute. So then we logged every issue every day. So there was no hidden … What was our mistake? Listing him as probable? We did think he was probable.”

Apparently the wife of the University of Tennessee President John Petersen is well either a bit caddy or just a bitch. I’m sure somehow this is all Fulmer’s fault. Is the picture a mug shot, I mean she does look somewhat unstable.

Another school is looking for a coach. The University of Washington is rumored to plan on going after Les “Big hat, little penis” Miles. Ummm….can we say “Not a chance in hell?”

This time of year always marks what is known as the college coaching carousel. It also marks the time when we realize that Terry Bowden jockeys himself into position to fail. This year might looks like he really wants the San Diego State job.

“I don’t know much about San Diego State, but I am receptive to the right opportunity,” said Bowden, who has been working in broadcasting since last coaching in 1998. “I’d be glad to talk to people at San Diego State if they would like to. I really would.”

You it’s not like he sounds desperate…OK I lied it is.

The University of Michigan finally get a much needed victory when official at the Detroit Zoo make a Buckeye piñata and feed to a wolverine. I’m sure Michigan fans are wondering why they couldn’t have thrown RichRod in there also.

If South Carolina ever plays Oregon State I’m sure I will get to write:

‘Cocks finally get a victory when officials at the Columbia, SC zoo throw a beaver into the ‘cocks enclosure, where the effigy was fucked to shreds. Poor delicious vagina. Thus inspired, South Carolina stormed out and lost to Oregon St 42-7.

Some people might remember Lenny Dykstra as outgoing. *Cough BS Cough* But at least he remains a classy figure in sports. Look at some of these quotes that Lenny had to say after he appeared in a Manhattan courtroom to fight over $139,000 owed to him by a Manhattan accounting firm.

“[They] folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth,” Dykstra said about the firm that sued him as he made reference to a former Phillie teammate who served the winning homer to the Blue Jays’ Joe Carter in the ’93 World Series. “There was no case. There was nothing.”

And

“That’s my f–in’ ashtray money, bro,” he told the New York Post, when asked about claims he owed a private jet company $7,000. “I don’t even know if I flew on their plane.”

Alright everyone, listen up. Here's my next big tip: If you bite of both ends, like so, it turns into a straw.

Stay classy Lenny!

Posted in Al Davis, Arizona Cardinals, big ten football, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Lenny Dykstra, Michigan Wolverines, New York Giants, Oakland Raiders, ohio state buckeyes, Rocky Top, San Diego State, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tennessee Volunteers, Terry Bowden | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Al Davis press conference shows what Death looks like. Now, when my time comes, I’ll know.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 1, 2008

I am the evil Emperor from Star Wars!

Did anyone see the rather revealing press conference that was held by the living corpse Al Davis regarding the firing of Kiffin? If not you missed the NFL’s most Jerry Springer moment to date. This was must see TV. It was better than the Presidential Debate.

Al Davis stated that Kiffin was fired for “propaganda” and “lying” that had gone on supposedly for months.  Kiffin was “bringing disgrace to the organization,” Davis said, calling Kiffin on multiple times a “flat-out liar.”

One thing is clear to me: Al Davis looks like a more-evil version of Freddy Krueger.

Davis revealed a letter that he wrote to Kiffin before the Kansas City game outlining in detail the coach’s faults. Davis further stated that Kiffin leaked a copy of the letter to the press.

At this point Davis rambled on about Mortensen of ESPN for breaking the story and accuses Kiffin of leaking the letter to the ESPN reporter because “that’s the way he wanted to handle it.” (Great question to the local reporters assembled: “Why didn’t any of you guys have it?”)

Perhaps my all-time favorite Al quote:

“Mortensen lies…he’s a professional liar.”

Davis placed the letter on an overhead projector for the press to read. For the record I once tortured a college professor by turning his overhead projector against him.

He basically calls Kiffin a douche bag for blaming the team’s performance on the ownership of the Raiders & defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. Davis also said that Kiffin called every play on offense during his time with the team, and that he split the play-calling duties with an unnamed assistant coach on Sunday against the Chargers.

Davis said that Kiffin didn’t want to draft quarterback JaMarcus Russell, because Kiffin thought he’d be the “overweight guy” and the “uninterested guy.”  Davis also claims that Kiffin wanted the Arkansas job and was “upset as hell” that Bobby Petrino got the job.

How do you accuse someone of propaganda and then go and state your case why he deserves to be fired and not let him refute the charges? Isn’t this just Raiders propaganda.

I don’t know about the rest of the world but I would imagine that 90% of NFL fans, Raider fans included, are on Lane’s side on this one. While Davis was a huge figure in the formation of the league its doing stuff like this that has ruined his team and his reputation.

I think Davis did his best George Costanza and doing the opposite of everything that is rational.

Honestly, after seeing this press conference, I can not think of a worse scenario for Cable to enter.

Posted in Al Davis, Cry Baby, ESPN, Kiffin, NFL Football, Oakland Raiders | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The living corpse Al Davis has officially begun the process of replacing Kiffin

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 30, 2008

The rumors have been out there for weeks. The living corpse Al Davis is going to fire Kiffin to make sure the Raiders get that #1 draft pick again. The Raiders are like the North Korea of the NFL.  Owner Al Davis wants a puppet for a head coach and Kiffin isn’t it. There’s even a website devoted to tracking the firing of Kiffin.

Well the process of replacing Kiffin has officially begun. Al Davis scheduled one-hour meetings Monday evening with three members of the coaching staff — offensive coordinator Greg Knapp, offensive line coach Tom Cable and longtime NFL offensive coordinator and current Raiders consultant Paul Hackett.

Kiffin took the high road and declined to comment Monday evening when contacted. During his Monday news conference, he told the local press he was no longer going to discuss any of his conversations or meetings with Davis. It is believed Davis has not talked to him about a possible change.

“I just feel we’re going to open up too many things, and those are conversations that I do or do not have with him that should stay between him and I,” Kiffin said in his news conference.

“At times we’re playing as well as anybody in the league. I know that sounds strange for you guys to hear, but look at the numbers,” Kiffin said in his news conference. “Look at the way we’re playing in the first three quarters of the last three weeks in a row; we’re playing good enough to be on a three-game winning streak. All that being said, we’re 1-3.”

Kiffin seems to have the Raiders headed in the right direction. Too bad the owner is way out of touch with reality.

Davis has told Bay Area reporters he may speak to them at some point this week. Once he settles on a possible replacement, Davis could then inform Kiffin and make a change during the bye week.

This Raider team is losing BECAUSE of all the distractions that DAVIS IS CAUSING!!!! That has an effect on how a team practices during the week. I believe, as many people do, that this team could have had a 3-1 start and be tied with Denver.

Al Davis’ ego won’t allow him to let Kiffin coach without interference. He got rid of two good coaches, Gruden and Shanahan who have each won Super Bowls elsewhere, (and in Gruden’s case, at the expense of the Raiders!). Davis wants a guy he can manipulate, and Kiffin’s “disobedience” in disagreeing with Davis over personnel and coaches is looked upon as an act of defiance.

Once a respected football executive and shrewd football mind, Davis is now just a sad old man who can’t see he’s suffocating his own franchise.

UPDATE!!!

ESPN is reporting that the living corpse has canned Kiffin “without pay via the telephone”, I’m sure Kiffin’s attorneys will have something to say about that.

Stay classy Al!!!

Posted in Al Davis, Kiffin, moron, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Oakland Raiders | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »