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Borat Punks Arkansas With Dollar Beers & Homo Erotic MMA Fights

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 9, 2008

Dollar beers and cage fighting seem to go hand in hand. That’s what crowds in Arkansas were promised but what they got was punked with men ripping each others’ clothes off and kissing – a stunt suspected of being orchestrated by Sacha Baron Cohen of Borat fame. All in all it was still more entertaining than the upcoming Razorback football season.

“We had a contract for cage fighting. We were deceived,” said Dwight Duncan, president and CEO of Four States Fair Grounds in Texarkana.

The day after the June 5 Texarkana bout, Fort Smith’s convention centre hosted “Blue Collar Brawlin.”‘ Fort Smith police Sgt. Adam Holland said organizers told him a character named “Straight Dave” would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight.

The two men would then wrestle, rip away some of their clothes and share a brief kiss reminiscent of one between Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in the film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

For the record this author finds that Ricky Bobby is the best NASCAR driver ever!

“Producers said “there would be a romantic embrace,” Holland said. “They said it was kind of to essentially make fun, poke fun at wrestling – two guys rolling around on the floor, all sweaty.”

Holland should have known that the only sexual contact between two males in Arkansas should only be between a man and his livestock.

Scores of mounted and handheld video cameras caught the crowd of 1,600’s reaction as the two men “went right up to the line” of the city’s morality laws, Holland said. The two men stripped down to their underwear, kissed and rubbed on each other, the sergeant said.

The audience, as well as local fighters drawn to take part in the show, became enraged while others had a sudden yearning to make them squeal like a pig.

I’m suddenly reminded of Andy Kaufman. Most people didn’t ‘get’ him either. But you just couldn’t stop watching/ Humor is just one small part of the Cohen experience (the penis if you like) and part of what makes him so funny is his knack for manic juxtaposition in order to reveal societal prejudices.

“It set the crowd off lobbing beers,” Holland said. “They had beers in plastic cups. Those things can get some distance on them actually.”

I’m surprised the rednecks would part with $1 beers so easily like that!

Holland said it took officers about 45 minutes to clear the convention center, as the two actors sprinted away through a specially set-aside tunnel.

Those in attendance were told by several signs on display that they’d be filmed, Holland said, and signed waivers before the event. Convention center sales director Karin Hobbs declined to name the event’s sponsor Monday.

I’m sure some attendees were leaving while muttering “If I wanted gays I would have stayed home and watch Full House!”

Baron Cohen became a national celebrity after his 2006 hit movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, in which he played a bumbling reporter from the Central Asia nation.

News of the faked cage fights comes as Baron Cohen is in production of a movie titled Bruno, named after the gay Austrian fashion reporter he developed for Da Ali G Show. Baron Cohen, in the guise of Bruno, often interviewed subjects in the South.

If the cage match visits came from Baron Cohen, it wouldn’t be the first time Arkansas fell for a practical joke. In 2000, then-Gov. Mike Huckabee fell for a prank and congratulated Canada for preserving its icebound Parliament, calling it a “national igloo.”

But who can forget this prank by Sacha Baron?

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Posted in Arkansas, Beer, Borat, MMA, Punk'ed, Sacha Baron | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Win Win for the Cowboys & Raiders

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 19, 2008

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Yesterday, the Oakland Raiders acquired CB DeAngelo Hall from the Atlanta Falcons for a 2nd and 6th round pick i this year’s draft. The Raiders then gave Hall a 7 year, $70 million extension. This gives the Raiders an upgrade in the secondary, Hall a much needed break from getting burned twice a year by Panthers WR Steve Smith, and Atlanta 4 picks out of the first 40 selections in this year’s draft. So why could this mean a win win for the Cowboys and Raiders???

Oakland has this year’s #4 pick. Picking ahead of them are Miami, St. Louis, and Atlanta. The Cowboys have two 1st round picks this year, thanks to Cleveland giving them this year’s #1 pick so the Browns could trade for the new rainbow warrior, Brady Quinn.  Jerry Jones has stated that he wants some wow on Dallas’  offense this year. Jerry Jones should be on the phone with Raiders owner Al Davis now and offer both picks to the Raiders for the #4 overall pick. The Cowboys could then be in great position to take Darren McFadden. Jones would be happy to have an exciting fellow Razorback on his team, and the combination of Marion Barber and McFadden in the backfield would give the Cowboys that “wow” that Jones covets, and would instantly generate more of a buzz than the Cowboys already possess.

As for the Raiders, they would have 2 picks in the opening round, and since the picks would be lower than #4, they would not have to pay those selections as much money as if they kept the pick. They could then use those picks as trade bait, or use both to fill in holes on the offensive line, backfield, or linebacker.

Wait a minute, these are the Oakland Raiders we are talking about. Doing things that make sense are not what this franchise are about. Al Davis is as unpredictable as they come. They have a coach that really doesn’t wanna be there and is waiting to be fired, but Davis won’t because he would have to pay him a nice lump sum of money. Lane Kiffin wouldn’t even wear anything with the team logo on it at the Senior Bowl. Davis sues everyone that he can to prove his point. He has sued the league (and won), sued cities, and even sued the Tampa Bay Bucs a few years ago for copyright infringement (which the case was tossed out). Davis is 100 years old and looks every bit like Capt. Jack Sparrow after 90 years of hard sailing on the seven seas. Their fan base of bikers, dope heads, and Darth Vader fans are just as dysfunctional as the franchise is, and no one cares. Any Raider home game could also be substituted for the pep rally in the upcoming film “Doomsday”.

Maybe if Jones threw in a lifetime supply of white and black tracksuits and a rest of his life supply of Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfasts, then Davis would make the deal……………

Stay classy, Raider fan!!!

Posted in alcoholics, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, Arthur Blank, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Atlanta Falcons, Bill Callahan, bongs, boo birds, Brady Quinn, cat killer, cheaters, classless, College Football, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, DUI, dumbass, ESPN, Evil Empire, Jerry Jones, NFL, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

YMSWWC’s “Official” NFL Draft Preview Picks 1-5

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 12, 2008

Well I am a little bit depressed because the TV will be polluted with coverage of Roger Clemens v. Brian MacNamee. How many times can one hear a variation of “It Wasn’t Me???” Examples: “I didn’t use steroids. Period.” “I did not have sexual relations with woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” “I didn’t kill my wife and her friend.” “I didn’t try to make it rain in the strip club.” “I am not a crook.” So with that said, let us instead focus on the future, where we can hope that this top rated prospect becomes either the next Dan Fouts or the next Tony Mandarich. This year, I think we might have both. Here are the official (unless Thomas says different) YMSWWC NFL Mock Draft Picks (1-5)

ani_mermaid2.gif Miami Dolphins: These heartbreakers have the distinct pleasure of picking first. Yes the needs are many. There is not a position on the field that they do not need any immediate help. Outside of Jason Taylor, you can pretty much trash the roster. In comes Bill Parcells. He will bring organization to a franchise that still is trying to recover from “Saban Nation”. I have heard that a certain billionaire wildcatter who is an Arkansas alum may be trying to trade up with a certain coach turned GM that used to sign that GM’s checks, and that would make sense. Dolphins could use 2 first round picks, but I don’t see that happening. With that said, they will take long hard look at Glenn Dorsey, Jake Long, and Chris Long. So the pick will be: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.

a_sosheep_0205.jpgSt. Louis Rams-Yet another team that went through a hard season. These aren’t your 1999-2002 Rams anymore. They are more like the 1989-1998 Rams. Age, injuries, bad free agent signings have turned these rams into sheep (Quick Longhorn/Aggie joke: How do you know when you are getting close to AggieLand? When you start seeing the sheep back up to the fence). Defense is more of a need than offense at this point. Pick: Chris Long, DE, Virginia.

images.jpeg Atlanta Falcons-Wow. Holy weed smoking, dog fighting, carpet bagging, GM and Coach rejection Batman. What in the world is going on in the ATL??? Well this is actually an easy pick, just because they have one big black hole where the QB spot is (not the black hole that is being pounded in Leavenworth). I think this will be a bad pick, but somebody’s gotta overpay for an All-American QB, so it might as well be Arthur Blank. Pick: Matt Ryan (Leaf), QB, Boston College

soul-hc-c.jpg Kansas City Chiefs-Offensive Line, Offensive Line, Offensive Line. Yes, they need a QB and another WR, but what good is all of that if you have a revolving door for an offensive line??? It’s hard to think that the O-Line was just a few years ago spectacular. Even though I love Ryan Clady from Boise St., that makes too much sense, and the overlord team President known as Carl Petersen doesn’t make decisions that make sense. So: Jake Long, OT, Michigan

chibi-jack-sparrow-by-evilchibiminion.jpg Oakland Raiders-These are some of the most dedicated fans that I have seen, and yet, some of the scariest. I had a couple of friends that went to Whatevertheycallit Coliseum to see Oakland and the Titans play. They figured a nice trip to the Bay Area would be great. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good trip. One word of advice: If making the trip to see a Raiders game, do NOT wear the other team’s colors unless your name is Kimbo Slice or you love the aroma of beer, weed, and middle aged biker chicks. Of course, this is Uncle Al’s team, and he LOVES offense. Guess who this pick will be??? Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Picks 6-10 will be coming soon…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, bad calls, bad newz kennels, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Boise State, bongs, boo birds, boosters, boston college, cheaters, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, dog fighting, draft pick, drugs, dumbass, ESPN, Feds, fired, football, Football Poll, gambling, Georgia, Goodell, Hip Hop, ho, Internet Rumors, Jerry Jones, killer, legal troubles, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, miami dolphins, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Nick Saban, notre dame sucks, OJ, OJ Simpson, Pac 10, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, Ricky Williams, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, secrets, Sports, steroids, stupid, The Big East, Vick, Vick Plea, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008

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Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Auburn, bad calls, bad drivers, bad newz kennels, Bammers, baseball, basketball, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, classless, College Basketball, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, DAvid Stern, Dawgs, Dead Drunk, Discipline, divorce court, dog fighting, drugs, DUI, dumbass, Ed Orgeron, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, football, FSU, Fulmer, gambling, Gamecocks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Georgia, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, God, Goodell, guilty, Herban, Herban Meyer, ho, hooker, Houston Nutt, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Johnnie Cochran, Judge Judy, killer, Kobe, legal troubles, Little Bitch, LSU Tigers, Major League Baseball, marcus vick, Marijuana, mary jane, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, mississippi state bulldogs, Mitchell Report, MLB, mobsters, moron, murderer, NBA, NCAA, New York Knicks, NFL, NFL Football, nickelback sucks, notre dame sucks, NRA, NWA, OJ, OJ Simpson, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, oliver stone, ookie, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, refs, repo, Ricky Williams, riots, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Sports, Stephon Marbury, steroids, stupid, taser, taxes, team spirit, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Juice, Touchdown Jesus, trader, trailer trash, ugly wives, upsets, Vick, Vick Plea, VIP Connection, vols, walk-on, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, whore, WVU, zeke | 1 Comment »

The Man With The Worst Luck In Sports This Year

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 20, 2007

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Look at this guy. Every time I see Arthur Blank, he just looks like a billion bucks. From all accounts, a pretty nice guy. So why have the football gods cursed him so much this year??? Let’s look at some of the things that have happened to him.

-First, he started 2007 by hiring capretbagging coach Bobby Petrino. Nevermind he just led Louisville to the Orange Bowl and told the Cardinal faithful that he would stay at Louisville, only to leave shortly for Atlanta.

-Then, his franchise QB (and the guy he famously wheeled around Texas Stadium) Michael “Ookie aka Ron Mexico aka Valtrex spokesman) Vick lied to his face about dog fighting charges.

-Vick’s VA house is raided by feds and mountains of evidence related to dogfighting is uncovered. Blank realizes that his guy Vick lied to him. This of course is after the NFL Draft, Free Agency, and trading away backup QB Matt Schaub, who could have easily started.

-The Falcon’s season starts, and they stink.

-A day after publicly praising Coach Bobby Petrino on national TV, carpetbagger Petrino leaves for Arkansas (for less money). Plus, “Ookie” goes to jail.

-He tried to get Bill Cowher to come out of semi-retirement, but couldn’t.

-He then was prepared to give Bill Parcells the keys to his Falcon kingdom, only to have Parcells go to Miami.

-I almost forgot, “Ron Mexico” was caught at the airport in Miami with am Aquafina bottle with a false bottom, with the contents inside “smelling like marijuana”.

Wow. what now??? Well, at least the Falcons should get a high round pick in next year’s draft. Plus, they still get an extra 2nd RD pick. But for a guy who Forbes estimates his net worth at $1.3 billion thanks to helping to found Home Depot, his life must really suck right now. Of course, he still is worth $1.3 billion, so maybe I shouldn’t feel so sorry for him…

***On a totally unrelated note, I will be attending this year’s “prestigious” Texas Bowl here in Houston, TX between Houston & TCU (don’t laugh, I actually have free tickets and nothing better to do). If anyone else will be going, drop an email at ymswwc@gmail.com

Posted in Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, boo birds, football, NFL, NFL Football, Sports | 2 Comments »

Fulmer’s Biggest Choice

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 19, 2007

Phillip Fulmer, embattled captain of the good ship Volunteer, is currently looking for a new Offensive Coordinator. Former Offensive Coordinator David Cutcliffe decided to commit seppeku by accepting the head coaching gig at Duke. Now I am not about to get into what in the world would possess a man to take a coach killer fine opportunity to coach FOOTBALL at Duke, but rather look at some of the candidates and offer up one or two “off the radar” people.

taylor-105.jpg Trooper Taylor-Currently, he is the Receivers Coach for Tennessee and also Recruiting Coordinator. He is primarily responsible for a vast majority of the 4 and 5 star recruits that Tennessee has gotten over the years (the same recruits that Fulmer doesn’t play until their junior year, but I digress). Honestly, will he run the same ol tired “pro-style” offense that Tennessee fans have grown to know and love, or will he add some wrinkles to the equation??? Also, he has been recently been offered the OC job by new Baylor coach Art Briles, but the problem is (and unfortunately I had to witness by living here in Houston) that Briles pretty much runs the offense, a la Steve Spurrier (or Les Miles). Will he stay with the program that has stuck by him??? Or will the program really even want him???

ftb-bio-adkins-150.jpg Greg Adkins-Offensive Line Coach, Tennessee. This guy is the one responsible for Tennessee’s O-Line, the same line that kept Erik Ainge off his back all year. The O-Line has, in my opinion, the best unit on Tennessee’s team the past few years. Like Taylor, what kind of offense would he run??? He has to my knowledge ever called a play on offense, but neither has Taylor, unless you count either one begging for the same ol’ tired reverse with the pass option.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Baylor Bears, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big Orange, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, College Football, Conference USA, Erik Ainge, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, football, Fulmer, Go Vols, Houston Nutt, Illinois Fighting Illini, Louisville, Memphis Tigers, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, Ron Zook, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols | 1 Comment »

Razorbacks…Hope You Like Your Carpetbagger…

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 11, 2007

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Well, the looooooooooooong wait for a head coach for the University of Arkansas has ended…with Bobby Petrino. Don’t worry about his job with the Falcons, because he quit that…

This guy’s resume is filled with more short stays than skanks hanging at the Four Seasons for a celebrity sighting. He finally got a head coaching gig at Louisville, taking over for the funny yet incompetent John L. Smith, in 2003. Louisville was on the verge of greatness, and with Petrino, took the team to the Orange Bowl last year. Soon after that, he was playing footsies with Arthur Blank on a 5 year, $24.5 million a year contract. Somehow, I don’t think all the Quick-Crete he wanted was included in compensation.

Now, he is taking some more billionaire Walton money, as he is now gonna coach at Arkansas. If I were a Razorback fan, I would be nervous and pissed at the yahoos that made this job so unattractive. Let’s start off with nervousness. Petrino and zealous Auburn boosters and the school president tried to cut a midnight deal just 2 days before the “Iron Bowl”. Keep in mind that Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville was still employed at head football coach. Petrino has also talked to LSU and God only knows who else while employed at Louisville, all in the hopes of getting more dollar dollar bills y’all. Like puppets on a string, Louisville said “yes sir” and gave it to him…EVERY TIME!!! Of course, he still left. I would also be nervous because he left the Falcons because he couldn’t take a little losing and didn’t feel the need to rebuild, which you guessed, Arkansas very well may have to do with McFadden, Jones, and Monk possibly leaving for the NFL.

I would also be mad at the yahoo nut jobs that ran off Houston Nutt and made the Arkansas job highly unattractive. I know that every coach and anyone else in the public eye will face scrutiny, but the way they put Nutt’s business out in the open and on front street, made it almost Britney Spears like for him and his family. It was so bad that he left Arkansas, his home state and dream coaching job, for Ole Miss. That’s bad…

A carpetbagger originally was a Northerner who moved to the South during Reconstruction (Petrino is from Montana). The term was meant to be derogatory, meaning someone who exploits until all resources are used up, then moves on (see coaching resume). Arkansas, I hope that you enjoy your carpetbagger, because he won’t be there long…

Posted in Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, Auburn, BCS, Big East, Houston Nutt, karma, NFL, NFL Football, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | 11 Comments »

Darren McFadden for Heisman

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 6, 2007

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My friends, this is a complete player, on and off the field. I mean, those aren’t dubs that the Crown Vic is sitting on, they look like 24’s. I wonder where McFadden got the money for the car & tires, because work study doesn’t pay that great…

Seriously, on the field, McFadden has been a man among men. Let’s look at the numbers: 1,725 rushing yards (5.7 per carry), 15 rushing TD’s, 21 receptions for 164 yards (7.8 per reception) and 1 TD, and as a QB, 6-11 for 123 yards and 4 TD’s. Looking a little closer, McFadden accounted for 20 total touchdowns, proved that he could catch the ball out of the backfield (which was a small knock on him last year), and he had 6 completion, 4 of which were touchdowns. McFadden did all of this while splitting carries with Felix Jones, who himself is no slouch, playing for a Houston Nutt coached Arkansas team, and with Casey F’n Dick at QB. BTW, no fumbles on the year.

McFadden was constantly facing 8 men in the box constantly. Once during the South Carolina game, I could have sworn they had 10 men lined up to try to stop him. Of course, he did light up the Gamecock D for 321 yards that game, setting an SEC single game rushing record. Although he only rushed for 43 yards against Auburn, he saved his best work against rival LSU on CBS, rushing for 206 yards and 3 TDS’s, throwing for 1 TD, and returning 3 kicks for 49 yards, accounting for 289 all-purpose yards against one of if not the nation’s best defense.

The knock on McFadden is that Arkansas lost 4 games. The team would have been worse if not for him. Arkansas would be no better than Ole Miss this year if not for McFadden. Felix Jones is another great back, but he “ain’t no D-Mac”.

I would pick Tebow a close second, but in a tie, I gotta go with McFadden. Overall, Florida has more talent, young talent, but still very talented. No, this is not me being a Gator hater. I actually am one of the few Vol fans that likes Tebow. I don’t believe he is a “system QB”. Colt Brennan is a “system QB”. Graham Harrell of Texas Tech has put up better numbers than Brennan has, so I don’t buy Brennan as a Heisman favorite. This is a two man race, and speed kills, so McFadden gets the nod from me.

Posted in Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, College Football, Florida, Florida Gators, football, Hawaii Warriors, Houston Nutt, LSU Tigers, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: | 9 Comments »

Tommy Going Back Home???

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 30, 2007

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Let me start off by saying this: Who would have thought that Mississippi State would be the model of coaching stability this year???

My friend Chris, diehard Razorback who lives in Fayetteville, called me this morning and said that one of the local news stations was reporting that Tommy Tuberville would be the next head coach at Arkansas. KNWA is reporting that “There is still a chance the situation can change but KNWA firmly believes the Auburn coach is close to an agreement.”

As I told Chris, Tuberville has a good thing going at Auburn. Sure, the facilities are not near the caliber of some SEC schools like Florida, Alabama, or Tennessee, but if it were me, I would not leave Auburn for Arkansas. Now I can understand if Tuberville still holds a personal grudge against boosters about the whole “Petrino to Auburn” thing while he was still the coach, but that school president is gone and that has not happened since. Of course, Chris used the famous Bear Bryant (he’s with Jesus you know) quote when he left Texas A&M to coach Alabama, “Mama called, and when Mama calls you gotta go home”.

Here’s my thing about anyone going to Arkansas: Remember what happened to Houston Nutt last summer??? Ever heard of the Freedom of Information Act??? Some of their fans have. For the most part, Razorback fans and Arkansans are nice and respectable people. But they sure have heard of FOIA’s, and some of them are not afraid to use them at the drop of a hat. If you use a state issued credit card to get 2 dozen Krispy Kremes for a coaches meeting, now you are unhealthy and need to go on a diet. If you make a call on a state issued cell phone to your local Jiffy Lube to ask how much an oil change is, now all of a sudden you’re not supporting the local cash cow by going to Wal-Mart to get your car serviced. If you drive your brand new state issued Chevy Suburban with OnStar to the local movie house to watch the IMax version of “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, now you practice witchcraft. Does anyone see how things can get twisted???

I still call b.s. on this for now, but then again, you just never know what will happen. It would be a good move for Arkansas, a bad move for Tuberville, and now throws Auburn’s name into those colleges who need a new coach.

Posted in All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bear is Dead, Houston Nutt, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Sports, Tommy Tuberville, tommy Turbeville | Leave a Comment »

Josh McNeil Does The “Tennessee Waltz”…Horizontally…

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 6, 2007

This story has broken around the internet (which is another reason why I love blogs), but UT center Josh McNeil, fresh off of a victory over Louisiana-Lafayatte, “celebrated” by having a little “fun” with some friends. According to reports, the “incident” on early Sunday morning happened when police were called to the Woodmeade South Apartments in South Knoxville (I have had friends live in that complex) on a suspected break in. One of the neighbors heard a window break and called the cops. When officers arrived, they found a broken window with blood around it (insert Baretta joke here).

This is where the story REALLY gets interesting: The apartment where the broken window was located belonged to McNeil. A plant had been thrown through the window and a man and woman could be heard inside arguing. When police knocked, no one answered, so they opted to go through the broken window. What officers did find were an assortment of guns, guns, and guns (no they didn’t break into Tony Montana’s or rapper T.I.’s places of residence). Of course, since by now this has been identified as the apartment of a UT football player, and every room was cleared except for one locked bedroom, UT Director of High School Relations Gerald Henderson was called. McNeil opened the bedroom door, and he AND THREE WOMEN were found. His girlfriend and two of her friends were there apparently “visiting”. The women were charged with underage consumption, a misdemeanor, while McNeil was not charged with any crimes (for those wondering, Facebook can confirm 2 are not bad on the eyes at all, the other does not have a page).

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The conundrum (damned LSAT flashbacks): Do you punish him for causing a disturbance, or do you shake his hand for “scoring”??? McNeil has been in trouble with the law before, having a charge of public intoxication dismissed in exchange for community service and paying court costs. But you do need a starting center, although if the police were really being thorough, they would check the serial #’s on those guns to ensure they were registered. What does one do???

I say he has suffered enough. He shall be now known through the rest of his life as “That guy who got caught with 3 women”. Is this maybe a tactic by Fulmer to get recruits, by saying, “Look, my guys get hot chicks in their apartments, a few at a time”??? If the center on the team gets 3, how many is Erik Ainge getting at a time??? Is this what “Being a Volunteer” means???

McFadden and Jones come to Knoxville. With the way Tennessee’s defense has played this year, maybe a booster needs to get some of these “Volunteers” to go to their hotel room and, well, you know. Hey, this will probably be the only way to stop them. Did I mention McNeil had THREE WOMEN???

Singing I wish I was on a Rocky Top, down in the Tennessee Hills…

*UPDATE* Apparently, Josh McNeil has issues with how the “media” has covered this story. According to published reports since this posting, McNeil “claims” that the women were sleeping on the floor.

“I know I live in a glass house because of who I am, but I don’t want the people I care a lot about being pulled into this,” said McNeil, who became emotional as he spoke. “You can say what you want to about me, I’m a grown man. I play football here. I’ve heard all I’ve got to hear.”

I’m a grown man. Apparently…

Now McNeil is saying that he didn’t hear anything because he took an Ambien, a popular sleeping pill (I prefer Lunesta). The Ambien knocked him out, which I call b.s. on. Did the other THREE WOMEN hear anything??? Were they too busy being drunk, or was their high naturally caused by, well, you know???

Of course, Coach Fulmer has commented as well. “Josh was not cited. There were no arrests. Therefore, as I understand the scenario right now, there will not be any discipline,” Fulmer said. “Josh and the team are looking forward to moving on to Arkansas.” Of course he is, his focus, when he’s not breaking down like a little b***h in front of the media, is on Arkansas. So is Fulmer’s focus. Here’s the thing: McNeil doesn’t play defense. How about focusing on that Fulmer, and leave the teenage poon for McNeil…

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