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Archive for the ‘Billy Gillispie’ Category

Vaya Con Dios, Billy Clyde

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2009

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Last year, I wrote a piece on Kentucky basketball and their lack of NBA lottery picks the past few years. Anytime we have posted about Kentucky basketball, it is highly read by some Wildcat fans. This post was different though. This one was picked up by a Wildcat blog, and by the time I got off of work, there were 96 comments that were left on the posting. 110 total comments would be posted. Thomas and the Moderator were amazed and pissed at the same time, and frustration over sensitive Wildcat fans invading the place set in. Some of the favorite comments were:

Wow! I love me some jealous, unclassy, can’t look at your own coach’s immoral personal life, still looking for that elusive elite eight, Tennessee Volunteers! Whoa!!!! The round of 16! Everyone come to UT: Where we guarantee mediocrity!-Kyle

I don’t discount your point about the name of the arena being racist. But the rest of your “point” is off to say the least! You are talking about UK not having any players drafted in the lottery, but UT hasn’t even had any players drafted in Pearl’s time. By the way Hopson didn’t leave UK’s program.

Jealousy will not get you anywhere when it comes to recruiting. So now recruiting an 8th grader gets you compared to R.Kelley sexual assault? You should be ashamed of yourself for such a statement. Than again I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve read your “writing” before!-Jack

1st Round NCAA Tourney exit = Back-to-back bowl bids to ritzy Shreveport.-3rd Down H Back

UK built SEC basketball the same way Alabama built SEC football.

So in response to all of the commentators, I wrote this piece in response to all of the comments. Didn’t really matter though, Wildcat fans were pissed, and even a Pulitzer prize winning journalist (I think) by the name of John Clay of the prestigious (wait, let me get this right) Lexington Herald-Ledger chimed in. Side note: I am still waiting on a response from this Peabody award winning journalist to the e-mail that I sent him.

To all of you Wildcat fans who said that Kentucky was back and happy days were here again, let me just say…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, good luck in trying to get the sexy name coach. Donovan and Wright have already turned you down. Calipari has a LOADED recruiting class coming in and has FedEx and International Paper money paying his high salary. Anthony Grant, a really good coach, was already snatched up by Alabama. The fact remains that Kentucky, for all of its glitzy facilities and rabid fanbase, will have to really overpay for its next head coach, which means you might have a shot at Cal, but doubtful. Seriously, who would want to coach with reporters like this???


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Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Fail, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Joel’s Crappy Weekend

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 17, 2008

Saturday

-Kid wakes up at 6:30 am, thus killing any dreams of having a lazy Saturday morning. A feeling suddenly comes over me, telling me that today will not be a good day for the home team.

-I almost lose my little girl at the park around 10:30 am. I now feel like a “Father of the Year” candidate. I took my eye off of her for 5.8 seconds to answer my cell phone & she was gone. Luckily, she walked over to the mounted cop’s horse. Instantly, I was relieved and told her not to give the horse candy. We didn’t want to end up like Kenny from Half Baked.

-Watch the Memphis Tigers give the game away to Georgetown in OT. They need a point guard in the worst way.

-Kentucky beat Indiana, thus killing my sweet Billy Clyde/Hoosiers I had thought about. Bastards.

-Got into it with the better half. Guys, always remember that women, although beautiful creatures, are mean and vicious when they choose to be. After arguing, it was couch duty for me. Life sucks.

-I found out Candace Parker married that monkey looking Duke boy, thus killing my dream of me and Candace…wait,I am already doing couch duty. Let me shut up.

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Posted in Auburn, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, Candace Parker, Dallas Cowboys, Duke, Georgetown Hoyas, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, houston, Houston Texans, Kentucky Wildcats, Lady Vols, Love Sucks, Memphis Tigers, New York Giants, Sports, Tennessee Titans, Terrell Owens, War Eagle | Leave a Comment »

A Peek Inside of Billy Clyde’s World

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 17, 2008

Inside the Kentucky Wildcat Locker Room After Friday’s Loss To VMI

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Wow!!! You fucktards really did it now. I cannot believe it. You are not about to embarrass me again. Wait, too late. You guys are really a group of fine individuals. 2 years in a row. I go to Sew Fine Tailors on Euclid Avenue & tell them to hook me up with the finest suit they have, so ol’ Billy Clyde can look sharp as a tack on opening night, and this is how you sissy merries repay me??? Jeremy, bring me my special Gardner-Webb flask…

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(Billy Clyde takes a swig)

You 22 mother fuckers are making me the fucking laughingstock of college basketball. You hear that??? That is ol’ Billy Donovon laughing his ass off. He turned down this job because their wasn’t enough hair gel in this barren wasteland of a state to last a year. He’s got his own personal Soul Glo guy just to style his hair. But not ol’ Billy Clyde. I don’t need gallons of Royal Crown Pomade in my contract. All I need is some of that Kentucky bourbon and some hot poon. Glynn, show these boys the action I got lined up after I leave here. Where’s that fancy iPhone??? Pass it around the locker room and show these sorry ass losers what they almost ruined for Billy Clyde.

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This here is Becky. She is a Miller Lite girl. Now I don’t waste time on beer because it gets in the way. Now you boys might think ol’ Billy Clyde would be in hog heaven, with a hot piece of tail & massive quantities of beer. But that is why you boys are losers. You don’t think. See, ol’ Billy Clyde is warming up.

(Takes 3 more huge swigs out of G-W gas can flask)

Billy Clyde wants it all. That white suit wearing asshole in Louisville is laughing his ass off at ol’ Billy Clyde. I want it all. That piss ant is getting all the glory in this state. I want one of those fancy banners in the rooftops too, so I can use it as a blanket when I am bedding trim in my off time. Tracy, I need 3 tonight.

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Damn Tracy, times must be hard. The economy is in the tank but I get a 4, 7, and 5??? I thought this was Lexington, not Morgantown??? What about the douchebag guys in the background??? Oh well. Bring them too. First time for everything, like you dipshits losing to a 6 win team. See boys, this is how ol’ Billy Clyde is rolling tonight, since you just ruined my season. Thanks. Career high my ass. There’s a reason I left College Station. That cow town had 3 hot chicks, and all of them were horrible in bed. If you are ever driving through Texas & wanna find College Station, let ol’ Billy Clyde tell you how to find it. You will know you are getting close when you start seeing the sheep back ass up to the fences.

Well, you sorry sacks of shit are excused. I will deal with you tomorrow after I give this poon some of Big Billy Clyde. Towelboy, I am taking some towels home. Gonna need that flask too.

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adolph Rupp, Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Condoms, Dead Drunk, Douche Bag, drunk, DUI, gardner webb, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Texas A&M, whiners | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Good Lord Wildcat Fans, Cool Your Jets

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 29, 2008

When I wrote this article, I knew it would get a reaction. NEVER did I think it would get this type of reaction, although similar posts about Kentucky basketball have gotten much more traffic than anything else. With that said, instead of responding to every comment, I will post this and let the chips fall where they may…

Regarding my name and avatar, my real name is Joel. I chose to post under my own name because I am my own person. I understand why someone would want to have a different username, but not me. Nothing worng with it in my opinion, but that is how I roll. I chose to use The Pyramid Arena in Memphis because I am a proud native Memphian. I am also proud to be from the great state of Tennessee. Even though I attended Tennessee State University in Nashville (after deciding not to attend Columbia University, Brown University, Morehouse college, or the University of North Carolina, all offering academic scholarships while I was in high school), I still support all things Volunteer and all things regarding Memphis Tiger basketball. Equally, on this site, I have personally made fun of both. Examples of me making fun of Tiger basketball can be found here, here, and here. I do live and die Memphis Tiger basketball, despite the recent heartbreak of the title game and lack of national titles (unlike Kentucky). A few of my favorite posts of satire of Tennessee can be found here, here, and here. There have been other things that we have touched upon, including West Virginia football, Alabama, and the Miami Dolphins during their “run” to futility. Check out the “April Fool’s Day” page .The original and still current mantra of this blog is “A Sports Blog On Why ALL Teams Suck”. It just so happened that I did one on Kentucky, and things went bat shit. Of course, I was hoping people to understand sarcasm but I guess I expected too much.

First off, I do actually work during the day and I am not around a computer until I get home. So if you are pissy about anything I have written, cool it until later in the evening. I am not some snot nosed college kid or an unemployed bum watching Judge Judy and ESPN First Take all day.

Second, the only mistake I made (I feel) is making the title “Wanna be an NBA Player???” It was intended to sarcastically point out that Kentucky hasn’t had an NBA lottery player in a long time and a first round player drafted in a few years. That is a fact, as confirmed by John Clay of the Lexington Herald Ledger (he even called my work crude. I feel honored). But some of you Kentucky fans pointed out how Rajon Rondo just won an NBA championship with Boston and Tayshaun Prince has just been named to the Olympic team. Kudos. The fact of the matter is that Rondo was on a great team and while point guard is an important position, Paul Pierce handled the ball more than any other Celtic during the title run. Thomas the Terrible could have run point guard and the Celtics were still going to win it all. As for Prince, while he has been a valued member of the Pistons, there is no way I would have picked him over Tyson Chandler, Amare Stoudamire, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, or even Paul Pierce. I am not the only one of this opinion.

Here is the bigger issue though: What is the real reason for the swarm of reaction??? Is it because the fanbase of Kentucky basketball is that fragile??? Or, did the truth really hurt??? Let’s look at these two questions.

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Posted in Adolph Rupp, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, basketball, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, College Basketball, crazy, Cry Baby, ESPN, Fights, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, satire, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , | 20 Comments »

Wanna Be An NBA Player??? Here Is NOT Where To Play

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 27, 2008

I finally get some time to put up a post and it just so happens to be right after the 1st round of the NBA Draft . Then something came over me: Our favorite overrated, elitist, ass backwards, and drunken coached team from the SEC didn’t have a player drafted in the 1st round. This makes the second year in a row that a Kentucky player was not drafted in the 1st round, and continues the 11 year streak since a Wildcat player was picked in the lottery.

Oh don’t worry Wildcat fan. I know where to place the blame. It was “10 Loss” Tubby’s fault. He was too busy making sure he ran a clean program, free of racism (unlike the arena named after the “great” Rupp), and made sure that he didn’t hit the Wild Turkey bottle and try to drive home from the bar. He just simply didn’t have time to recruit players who would be developed into NBA talent.

Leave it to Billy Clyde Gilispie to recruit like a mother. He has already scored top 10 talent of all ages. He will take Kentucky back to single digit losses in just a few short years, as soon as his 8th grade recruits start arriving to Lexington. Too bad he said he was gonna stop recruiting young kids. Rumor is that he had planned to recruit Chicago next week while school is out for the summer. R. Kelly was gonna show him where all the hot spots were to get top talent, before Mr. Kelly got some talent of his own. Of course, knowing Billy Clyde’s track record, he’ll be gone quicker than you can say “Nick Saban”. It’s all good anyway, the best coach in the state left you back in the 90’s and now coaches your in-state rival.

So, for all of the Derrick Jasper’s, Scotty Hopson’s, and (insert latest player’s name to leave the Kentucky program here) of the world, things will be ok. You will make it to the NBA Draft Lottery, because you never put on the Wildcat uniform.

Let’s hear Tim Brando spin another year of Kentucky mediocrity…

Posted in Adolph Rupp, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, bad drivers, basketball, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, boosters, cat killer, College Basketball, Cry Baby, Dead Drunk, draft pick, drunk, DUI, ESPN, Evil Empire, Kentucky Wildcats, Liar, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, NBA, NCAA, satire, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , | 110 Comments »

Billy Gillispie Likes them Young

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 15, 2008

Somewhere in a darkened bar at this very moment. Kentucky coach Billy “I’m a Member of the DUI Team” Gillispie is plotting his revenge on the world of basketball. He is assembling the most futuristic team known to man. That is if and when they finally hit puberty.

Last week the hard working writers at Losers With Socks broke the story of how the Kentucky School President was shocked that Billy G offered an eighth grader a scholarship. Well guess what. That class of 2012 or maybe 2013 will be awesome for Kentucky!!! Billy G is bucking the system and the school prez by offering a ninth grader a scholarship.

Kentucky, which recently received commitments from an Ohio ninth-grader and a California eighth-grader, has offered a scholarship to point guard Jeremiah Davis III of Muncie, Ind. Before it’s over with, UK will begin recruiting sperm in it’s attempts to regain it’s basketball stature.

“I was honored,” Davis said Monday about the offer. “I don’t know if I’m going to take it yet. I’m still a freshman.”

Couple more signings and he’ll be set for the 2013 season. Then he can devote the time he needs to kick back in the bar. I tell you…you have to admire a drunk with a work ethic.

Kentucky will have the best Junior High Team in the country. Did they sign them on the playground? Chuckie Cheese? Jr. High Dance? Do the parents have to sign a letter of intent?

This just in:

University of Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie has landed yet another commitment.

The future prospect, the unnamed fetus of Bertha and Adolf Cutshaw of Corbin Ky, measures 21 inches and 74 pounds at the young age of 7 months.

In an interview with the parents of the University of Kentucky recruit, Adolf Cutshaw was gushing at his son’s 4 inch in-utero vertical leap, however mother Bertha was less than overjoyed.

Coach Gillispie was quoted as saying, “Whatever his name, a player with this much potential will factor greatly, around the year 2026, in bringing Kentucky basketball back to the level it so greatly dererves.”

Rhetorical question. Is it against NCAA rules for a coach to sponsor neo-natal summer camps for potential recruits and the baby mamas?

Kentucky officials also released a news statement:

UK to start adoption plan,The coaching staff at UK is now starting an adoption agency. No questions will be asked, but the child must be male and have a guesstimated heighth of 6ft 8 inches. Weight may vary due to parent(s) giving child child for adoption. The staff must be assured of only the choice quality male child. We are sorry that we can not accept female children, but UK has no need for females due to the fact that UK has no female athletic program.

For additional information contact Billy’s Baby Blue Network.

Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, drunk, DUI, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Apparently Adolph Rupp Wouldn’t have Liked Billy Gillespie

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 7, 2008

Sure Bruce Pearl had to share the SEC coach of the year award with Billy “I lost to Gardner Webb, Houston, UAB & San Diego while embarrassing the SEC” Gillespie, we all know that. However the Commonwealth Athletic Club of Kentucky likes Bruce Pearl more and who can blame them?

The Commonwealth Athletic Club of Kentucky named Bruce Pearl it’s coach of the year and presented him with the Adolph Rupp Cup. The Adolph Rupp Cup has been given since 2004, with previous winners including Phil Martelli, Bruce Weber, Roy Williams and Bo Ryan.

Club spokesman Gerry Calvert, a former player for Rupp at Kentucky, had this to say about Bruce Pearl:

“Anybody who knew Coach Rupp well would tell you that Pearl is the kind of coach he would have loved to compete against. He typifies the passion, drive and excellence for which Coach Rupp will always be remembered.”

A source close to the Athletic Club said the reason why Billy Gillespie wasn’t receiving a share of the award even though he share coach of the year honors with Pearl was because they feared Billy would get drunk and piss right in the cup.

UT athletic director Mike Hamilton said he was pleased to hear Pearl was honored.

“Bruce’s honor was well-deserved,” Hamilton said. “A lot of coaches did a good job this year, but for us to have what could be considered our best season ever, with 31 wins, a No. 1 ranking and our first SEC outright title in 41 years, it’s gratifying to see Bruce win the award.”

He then went on to say “suck it Kentucky!”

Posted in Adolph Rupp, Billy Gillispie, Bruce Pearl, Kentucky Wildcats, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Then there were 32…Alternate Title…My Brackets are Eff’ed Up

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 22, 2008

Upsets always happen in this tournament and round one proved no exception. My brackets are screwed up now. Sheesh.

My beloved Vols held their own and thwarted a late rally against the communist of American University.

Curry of Davidson became a legend as his team beat Gonzaga. I picked Davidson thank God.

Saint Mary’s was no match against Miami. Miami might be the most overlooked team in tourney.

Western Kentucky defeated America’s sweetheart team of Drake with a last second three pointer. Thanks Drake you screwed up my bracket.

South Alabama proved no match against Butler. The way Butler played I wouldn’t be surprised to see them defeat my beloved Vols.

Georgetown beat up on UMBC…yawn

Texas beat up Austin Peay…another yawn

But wait…on overtime game which saw UCONN get defeated by San Diego. Thanks UCONN you again proved you’re useless to me.

North Carolina looked like the number one should by scoring over a hundred against a hapless Mount St. Mary’s squad.

Oklahoma showed that people might have been overlooking them by defeated St. Joe’s handedly.

Vanderbilt embarrassed themselves and the SEC by losing to Siena. Thanks Vandy…you terds.

Miss. State rallied big time to defeat Oregon, another team the shouldn’t have been there.

Arkansas is jelling and Indiana is exited early so them can text Sampson whining.

Louisville attempts to make the case that for this year they are the best team out of Kentucky as they defeated Boise State.

Villanova defeated Clemson. Another five seed goes down to the twelve seed. Villanova’s tourney experience helped them mount a comeback. At one time Clemson led 32-18 in the first half. Nova won by six.

Memphis beat up on Texas-Arlington or as I have renamed them the University of Hank Hill.


Hank Hill with a young Billy Gillispie

Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Billy Gillispie, Boise State, Butler, Clemson Tigers, Davidson, Drake, Georgetown Hoyas, Go Vols, Gonzaga, Indiana Hoosiers, Louisville Cardinals, Memphis Tigers, Miami hurricanes, North Carolina Tarheels, Oklahoma sooners, Saint Mary's, Siena, South Alabama, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Longhorns, Uconn, Vanderbilt, vandy, Villanova, Western Kentucky | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Day One is Done Here are the Winners & Losers.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 20, 2008

Xavier avoids being the fifth team in row to be upset by the Dawgs of Georgia. Rallying from being down 11 points the Musketeers win by 12. Georgia simply didn’t have the depth they needed. Look for this Xavier to go far into the tourney.Kansas thumps Portland State by 24. Gee…who didn’t see that coming?

Temple returns to the tourney only to disappoint Bill Cosby and the Jello Pudding Pop nation by losing to the Michael Moores Spartans of Michigan State.

UNLV wallops Kent State. Funny all I’ve heard for the past week was how Kent State was a mid major sleeper team.

Pitt continues its winning ways by whipping Oral Roberts by 19. Look for Pitt to go a little further in the tourney.

Purdue defeats Murder Inc. I mean Baylor and quite handily at that.

The Irish of Notre Dame defeated George Mason by 18. I doubt their football team could beat George Mason though.

Wisconsin shows why they belong by beating an up tempo Cal State Fullerton team is ease.

West Virginia defeated an Arizona team that by most accounts shouldn’t have been there.

UCLA who I’m picking to win it all embarrassed Mississippi Valley State. Like MVS had a prayer without Jerry Rice there.

Stanford beat up on the smartie pants of Cornell.

K-State defeats USC which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m still shocked that USC received such a high seed. Look for Beasley and company to advance next round as well.

Belmont must have Joel’s post about them because Duke was almost exited early by a nobody for the second straight year.

Washington State flexed some muscle and grounded the Eagles of Winthrop by 31.

Texas A&M defeated BYU in perhaps the least interesting game of the year. Zzzzzzzz

And lastly Kentucky’s failboat the USS One and Done has set sail thanks to Marquette. Boy I’m willing to bet some SEC coaches are regretting voting Billy G. for co-coach of the year. I’m sure Ashley Judd will give him a tongue lashing, hopefully he’ll be sober enough to remember it. Then again why was KY even in the tournament to begin with?


I wonder if Billy G. is going down with the ship?

Posted in Arizona Wildcats, Baylor Bears, Belmont, Billy Gillispie, BYU, Cal State, Cornell, Duke Blue Devils, George Mason, Georgia Bulldogs, K-State, kansas jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, Kent State, Marquette, Michigan State Spartons, Miss Valley State, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oral Roberts, Pitt Panthers, Purdue, Stanford, Temple, Texas A&M, University of Southern Cal, UNLV, USC, Washington State, West Virginia Mountaineers, Winthrop, Wisconsin Badgers, WVU, Xavier | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Georgia Pees on Kentucky’s Leg & Tells Them that it’s Raining

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 15, 2008


Picture courtesy of Losers With Socks

Thank you Georgia now we don’t have to hear KY fans complain about playing twice in a day! This was supposed to be Kentucky’s tournament. According to Kentucky fans they were going to march through this tournament and beat Tennessee. Only Georgia didn’t see things that way.

Billy “I lost to Gardner Webb, Houston, UAB & San Diego while embarrassing the SEC” Gillispie is one and done in this years SEC tournament. So much for being co-coach of year…sheesh.

Here are some of the lovely comments that were made to me about a posting I did showing frustration and shock that Bruce Pearl had to share COY award again.

UK will win the SEC tourney, mark my words.

If anyone has a chance to do some damage in the SEC tourney, its UK. Bring on Memphis, we’ll slow the game down and make them miserable.

TN wont even win the SEC tourney and theyll be an early flameout in the dance.

Ole miss lost to Ga, if we beat GA, we’ll beat Miss St and see you in the finals. Count on it.

Well that’s all been shot to hell. Zac Swansey scored five points in overtime, including an unlikely turnaround 3-pointer with 1.2 seconds left, and Georgia upset Kentucky to 60-56 on Saturday to continue its surprising SEC tournament run.

Kentucky (18-12) is left with a nervous wait for Sunday, when NCAA tournament bids are released.

Way to go Billy there’s no reason that Kentucky should have lost that game. Georgia only had what four scholarship players? And don’t start crying like little girls about how some charge wasn’t called on the inbound pass either. According to all the Kentucky fans I’ve heard from this past week, that game should have never went to OT.

Now if Georgia fires their coach after kicking off his top three scorers then they are crazy. Congrats Georgia you have a tough team and good luck tonight against Mississippi State.

Posted in Billy Gillispie, Georgia Bulldogs, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , | 9 Comments »