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Archive for the ‘Coker’ Category

What Do You Do, Coach Stew???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 14, 2008


Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.

Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…

What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???

Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).

Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…

Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, retarded, road rage, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, stupid, suicide, Superman, Syacuse, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, University of South Florida, USA Today, USC, USF, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Breaking Down the Tennessee Volunteers 08 Recruiting Class

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 7, 2008

Well signing day has come and gone and of course pessimistic Volunteer fans aren’t happy with this years class. One thing they seem to forget is Tennessee was only going to sign a small number of players this year due to the large numbers they signed last year. Not to mention that fact Tennessee isn’t really losing many players.

I’m here to breakdown this years class and predict their future as it relates to Tennessee football. Then the pessimists shall be silenced.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, Clemson Tigers, Coker, Crime & Punishment, fire philip fulmer, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Go Vols, LSU Tigers, Miami hurricanes, mississippi state bulldogs, North Carolina Tarheels, ole miss rebels, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tennessee Volunteers, USC, UT vols, Vanderbilt | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

My Magic 8-Ball was Right After all, Coker Dismissed Due to Getting High Yet Again.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 2, 2007

How could I have ever doubted my magic 8-Ball? It said Coker was getting high again and sure enough Fulmer announced today that Coker has been dismissed from the team due to failing another drug test.

“As I’ve had a chance to further investigate and talk to others close to the situation, I have decided to dismiss LaMarcus from the team because he did not do what was asked of him,” Fulmer said in a statement released by UT. “I want a positive environment for our athletes to learn and grow. This is what is right for the young men on our team and for the program.

“As a coach, my first obligation is to the growth of the young men with whom I’m entrusted. Sometimes, that means encouragement and mentoring, sometimes it means helping them understand the consequences of their decisions. LaMarcus is a talented young man with a lot of life in front of him. It is my hope that he will look back at this one day as a life lesson that helped him get things straight for his future.”

When he failed showing up for drug counseling sessions he should have been dismissed right then & there. So Vol fans say goodbye to LaMarcus “Puff Puff Pass” Coker, and remember what my magic 8-Ball said:

Indeed you did.

So I profess on this day 11/02/07.



Posted in Big Orange, Coker, drugs, Go Vols, Marijuana, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

My Magic 8-Ball Was Wrong Coker Wasn’t High After All but I still Believe He Needs to Go

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 1, 2007

According the ESPN, sophomore tailback LaMarcus “Puff Puff Pass” Coker wasn’t high again (yet) but Fulmer suspended him missing a drug counseling session. Link To Story.

Even if this report is true or not true, that still doesn’t excuse the fact this is his third suspension in less than a year, so I’m still pretty firm on it’s time to let him go. With this latest incident he has had to take another drug test, but the results will not be in until Friday. With the sorry job of coaching, especially on defense, I couldn’t hardly blame him if he has been getting high again.

The real story here is my magic 8-Ball has failed me. The 8-Ball which is usually 99.99 9/10% right was wrong on this prediction. I wonder if I should retire it…maybe I’ll try to use Alphabet Cereal to predict the future….

Well damn…

Either way I’ll be awaiting news on the test results, as soon as i hear anything I’ll let you know.


So I profess on this day 11/01/07.



Posted in Coker, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, Marijuana, Phillip Fulmer, pot, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Tennessee’s Fulmer Suspends 2 For Violation of Super Secret Double Probation

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 1, 2007

Smokey says oh great 2 more dumb asses.

Wow, I don’t have to wait until another dismal performance on the field to rip into Fulmer, go figure. Yesterday Fulmer suspended starting defensive tackle Demonte’ Bolden and reserve tailback LaMarcus Coker one game for the ever so secretive a “violation of team rules”.

Fulmer declined to provide specifics regarding the suspensions, including when the violations occurred. After all you can’t have super secret double probation rules if everyone knows about them. That goes for the players as well.

“That’s all I’m really allowed to say about that right now, those guys are important to us. We certainly hope to have them back and ready to go for Arkansas.” Fulmer said. Yes, that’s it Phil pull the ever increasing in popularity “suspend them for the patsy game” card out, or as I like to call it the “Urban Meyer Rule”.

Here’s where I have problem, this is the third suspension for Coker since December, when he missed five practices in Knoxville leading up to the Outback Bowl.

He also served a month-long suspension beginning in August for another super secret double probation violation before being reinstated prior to the second game of the season against Southern Mississippi.

Phil that’s three strikes, he should be gone. I know Coker averages 26.5 yards-per-return average and ranks fourth in the SEC but you have true freshmen Lennon Creer and Denarius Moore as options to replace him on kickoffs alongside Dennis Rogan.

Creer and fellow tailback Montario Hardesty should be ready to play behind starter Arian Foster against the Ragin’ Cajuns. Honestly you should have been playing Hardesty a lot more this year in the first place.

Ryan Karl the slow fat linebacker expressed disappointment when asked about his teammates’ suspensions, but was not worried about any lingering effects.

“Of course you’re disappointed, but you know they’re going to be back next week giving their all, thanks to Coach pulling out patsy game card” he said. “They’re two great players. We’ve just got to find two guys to make plays in place of them.”

“They’re both great backups,” Karl said. “All of them probably play the same amount of snaps every game. With his (Bolden’s) physical presence on the field, we’re going to miss him. But we have a whole bunch of experience there, so we won’t be hurting that bad. Besides we’ve sucked defensively all year so who’s going to notice?”

I went to my magic 8-Ball to find the answers of why these two players were suspended…. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Big Orange, Coker, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, satire, scandal, SEC Football, secrets | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Phillip Fulmer to the rest of the SEC “These are what brass balls are, anyone else have a set?”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 8, 2007

Ahhh football less than a month away and everyone is excited. So excited that instead of administrating discipline most SEC coaches are avoiding it. Like Steve Spurrier that should have kicked his QB off the team last year for sucker punching an 18 year old bouncer only give him a 2 day vacation break for further violating team rules. Then there’s Les “Big Hat Small Penis” Miles that gave his QB another break even though he’s listed as a person of interest in a counterfeiting probe. And who can forget about all the gaytor arrests that have taken place since January?

Now let’s talk about my beloved Tennessee. See Phil understands what true discipline is. Because at Tennessee the sick will get handed discipline on a stick.

“Tennessee tailback LaMarcus Coker, the team’s leader in rushing last season, has been suspended indefinitely, coach Phillip Fulmer said Tuesday.

Fulmer did not say what kind of violation Coker had committed, but referred to an unspecified medical condition.”

Umm…wow…that’s all I can say at this point.

“LaMarcus is a good person and has been diligent working with a medical situation,” Fulmer read from a prepared statement after the team’s first practice in full pads. “We’ve worked with him through it, but that doesn’t excuse where we are at this point.”

“He must fulfill some obligations to the program and to me before he can return,” Fulmer said. “I have tried, as has the administration, to work with him, but at this time he must help himself.”

Ugh!!! I want to know just what kind of medical condition can get someone suspended. Was it drugs, booze or admiring West Virginia’s baby-butt soft schedule? See folks Phil might not be the brightest coach, but at least he sticks by his overly advert (at times) moral guns. I’m sure there’s more to this than what is or can be reported.

“When asked if he could elaborate on Coker’s medical condition, Fulmer said: “It goes back a ways. It’s just part of the whole scenario. Because of the laws — and his privacy — I can’t really comment on it. There’s more to it.”

See I was right, I wonder if Ainge can tell me something.

“UT quarterback Erik Ainge didn’t go into details either, but he did say he thought Coker had turned a corner this summer.

“I really thought, especially in the month of July, that LaMarcus had come around and was doing the right things,” Ainge said following practice. “Obviously, I don’t know (what Coker did), and I’m not entitled to say everything. He just needs to take care of his business. Obviously, he wasn’t.

That’s no help…thanks a lot…by the way your uncle can’t draft NBA players for shit. Now where was I? Oh yeah I’m sure if pressed by losing or the fans Phil might get a case of Urban-Miles OBSC’itous. Who the hell am I kidding? Phil is a stubborn ass moron who can’t be like other coaches and be easy on players who make “mistakes” rock when it comes to situations like this. When further news develops, I’ll let you know. And I bet you people didn’t think I would bash Tennessee…Ha wrong again.

Posted in Coker, Discipline, Florida, Fulmer, Les Miles, NCAA, Old Ball Sack Coach, Rocky Top, SEC, South Carolina, Sports, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee | Leave a Comment »