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Archive for the ‘Conspiracy Theory’ Category

Where’s Perrilloux???

Posted by Joel Jackson on May 13, 2008

Ryan Perrilloux, he of the casino/weed smoking corndog sector of SEC country, is currently looking for a school to play ball since The Hat gave him the boot for inhaling some of the finest “Gator Green” or “Knoxville Recruiting Tool”. So far, Alabama A& M, Valdosta St., and Jacksonville St. are supposedly recruiting. Presumably Perrilloux will be attending a D-1AA or D-II school to play immediately.

Then I saw this story on ESPN about Jackson State University football coach Rick Comegy trying to recruit him. I then got a headache. Why???

Well being a proud alumnus of Tennessee State University, Jackson State is one of our biggest rivals. We are talking about a rivalry that goes back decades. Epic battles between beautiful Nashville and piss ant Jackson, MS have insured and now the rivalry game is held as the Southern Heritage Classic held in Memphis, one of the two times a year that the Liberty Bowl is actually full.

Tennessee State has been one of the top HBCU’s historically, both athletically and academically. The school has produced a 1st round pick in this year’s draft (Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie), can claim two guys that should be NFL Hall of Famers (Richard Dent and Ed “Too Tall” Jones), several Olympic gold medalists (Ralph Boston, Chandra Cheesborough, Wilma Rudolph), journalists (Carl Rowan, Tina Tyus-Shaw, niece of Wyomia Tyus, another TSU alum and 2 time gold medalist), and some lady named Oprah Winfrey. After Walter Payton and Morgan Freeman*, who are the rest of the famous alums from that hellhole???

Besides being part of a great tradition, Perrilloux will also benefit from playing in LP Field, an NFL stadium that is the home of the Tennessee Titans, and not some old crappy ass stadium in “glamorous” downtown Jackson. Perrilloux, if you are reading this (thank God you aren’t Jerrell Powe because I don’t want to get some neighborhood kids together to record a special “School House Rocks: Tennessee St. Edition”) check out the campus, check out the city, and come home.

Think of it this way: If Nashville was good enough for Pacman Jones then it is good enough for you…

*Editor’s Note: Upon further research, Morgan Freeman was offered a partial scholarship to Jackson State but turned it down to become an airplane mechanic.

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Posted in Alabama State, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arizona Cardinals, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, College Football, College Gameday, Conspiracy Theory, Coonass, Corn Dogs, court tv, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, ESPN, football, guilty, Internet Rumors, legal troubles, Les Miles, Liar, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, NCAA, NCAA Rules Violation, NFL, NFL Draft, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pot, Ryan Perrilloux, Sports | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Rich Rodriguez Wanted the Hell Out of There

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 25, 2008

The never ending saga of Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez verses WVU has taken yet another twist.

According to documents obtained by West Virginia University’s attorneys, the anti-hero coach contacted Michigan before school officials approached him in December.

Buy eggnog

Buy stripper like spouse more Lee Press on Nails

Contact Michigan in hopes of landing job so I can escape this hell

A representative of Rodriguez’s contacted Michigan on Dec. 11, WVU attorney Jeffrey Wakefield said on Wednesday. The contact occurred three days before Rodriguez met with U-M president Mary Sue Coleman and athletic director Bill Martin in Toledo to interview for the position.

Michigan athletic director Bill Martin declined to comment through a U-M spokesman.

Depositions are continuing in the case, Wakefield confirmed. West Virginia athletic director Ed Pastilong was deposed last Friday and Rodriguez was deposed on Monday. Though no further depositions have been scheduled, Wakefield said they would like to speak with Rodriguez’s wife, Rita.

Wakefield must want a lap dance “for old times sake”.

Click to view some serious Lee Press on Nails

Posted in big ten football, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Conspiracy Theory, Dirty Sanchez, divorce court, Michigan Wolverines, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

What Do You Do, Coach Stew???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 14, 2008

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Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.

Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…

What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???

Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).

Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…

Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, retarded, road rage, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, stupid, suicide, Superman, Syacuse, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, University of South Florida, USA Today, USC, USF, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Excessive Force, Conspiracy & Suspensions: Another Day of Gamecock Football

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 5, 2008


The alleged “victim”

The liberal media of Columbia has taken God Spurriers’ mantra “Be like Florida” to new heights. There have been reports in the media that Young was treated unfairly by responding officers.

Last Sunday morning at 1:30 AM offensive lineman Kevin Young was arrested and charged with fighting and resisting arrest in the infamous Five Points area.

It seems that Kevin McCrarey, a co-host on South Carolina News Network’s SportsTalk show was in the area getting his drink on and witnessed Young getting a beat down by the Po Po.

“Kevin Young-they grabbed him and this police officer was just pounding him on the back of the head as they brought him down to the ground. Continued to hit him,” McCrarey said.

“Just as a citizen, watching that happen was disturbing when you see the people protecting you making a situation out of control,” McCrarey said.

McCrarey added that at the time, he didn’t know the person being arrested was a USC football player and that he also shat his pants at the scene of such violence.

Neither Young nor the University of South Carolina has filed a complaint against the police officer. Nor are there any bruises or lacerations one would expect to have after a beat down.

This alleged conspiracy has forced city manager & acting Po Po chief Charles Austin to call upon SLED (South Carolina Law Enforcement Division) to investigate the matter.

“If in fact there was an act of excessive force, then we want to identify what happened and deal with it in a timely manner. If there was not, the public has a right to know that, too,” Austin said.

Austin also added that if this story turns out to be true he couldn’t blame the officer because after all this is a Gamecock football player we’re talking about.

Charles Austin says there is no basis for action to be taken against police at this time. Rather, they’re waiting on the SLED investigation to learn the truth about what happened, and hope to know more in a few days.

Of course the national media is ignoring this story instead they are focusing on the fact that Carlos Thomas was suspended by God Spurrier for violating team rules and team behavior.

I’m sure what “team behavior” is supposed to mean, maybe he hasn’t been arrested yet so this is Spurriers’ way of getting through to him. Or possibly the puff puff pass rule is incorporate with team behavior.

Thomas has been suspended indefinitely from the team which in Gamecock terminology means 2 practices. Also running back Mike Davis also has been suspended for one game for missing too many classes. If this keeps up there will not be enough players to suit up for the opening game.

Posted in Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, Gamecocks, Po Po, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »