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Archive for the ‘crazy’ Category

In America we use guns

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 6, 2009

There’s a lot of condemnation on athletes when guns charges are involved and rightfully so. However when a professional or collegiate athlete is ejected from a game, they generally go back to the locker room and whine to the media about how unfair it was.

The English have made obtaining and owning guns very difficult which I do not have a problem with whatsoever, but when they eject a professional soccer player maybe they should make it mandatory that the player remain at the stadium.

In a Senior Cup match in South Yorkshire, a player was ejected, went home and returned with a sword and a golf club. William Wallace approves!

“Spectators at the local cup match in Barnsley, South Yorkshire saw the sent-off player return with a “golf club and a long sword”. The Sheffield and Hallamshire Senior Cup match between Royston Villa and Sheffield‘s Mosborough was called off in the 80th minute. A Mosborough FC spokesman said: “One of their lads got sent off and came back and had weapons and that’s why it got abandoned.”

South Yorkshire has always been jealous they didn’t invent the pudding but that is nothing compared this.

“Anthony Lloyd, 20, was ordered off the park pitch for foul language but returned with a running power tool and tried to chop the hands off rival Paul Westwood while yelling: “I’m a crank.” Prosecutor Laura Plant told the court: “They heard an engine start and saw the defendant coming out of the bushes revving a chainsaw. “The victim’s friend ran off, leaving him cornered by the defendant.”

Who knew that Leatherface was a Pelé fan? What’s the point of cutting off the hands of a soccer player? Wouldn’t cutting his feet off be more appropriate?

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Posted in crazy, Soccer | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Minor League Manager Says to Ump “I Don’t Stink Like Your Calls Stink”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 11, 2008

Kash Beauchamp apparently thought an umpire’s call stunk Wednesday night and to prove it to him, the manager waved his shoe in the ump’s face.

The Wichita Wingnuts were playing the second game of a doubleheader against the Sioux Falls Canaries.The ‘Nuts lost the first game and their manager went nuts in the second game.

Kash Beauchamp didn’t like the ball and strike calls by the home plate umpire so he came storming in from the third base coaching box. Then he took off his shoe, waved it in the umpire’s face and slammed the shoe to the ground.

Beauchamp also showed the ump his armpit to emphasize he thought the call smelled but he was fresh thanks to his deodorant. The makers of Degree or Old Spice should seriously sign this guy to an endorsement deal.

Minor league baseball you gotta love it.

Posted in crazy, Minor League Baseball, Wichita Wingnuts, WTF | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Good Lord Wildcat Fans, Cool Your Jets

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 29, 2008

When I wrote this article, I knew it would get a reaction. NEVER did I think it would get this type of reaction, although similar posts about Kentucky basketball have gotten much more traffic than anything else. With that said, instead of responding to every comment, I will post this and let the chips fall where they may…

Regarding my name and avatar, my real name is Joel. I chose to post under my own name because I am my own person. I understand why someone would want to have a different username, but not me. Nothing worng with it in my opinion, but that is how I roll. I chose to use The Pyramid Arena in Memphis because I am a proud native Memphian. I am also proud to be from the great state of Tennessee. Even though I attended Tennessee State University in Nashville (after deciding not to attend Columbia University, Brown University, Morehouse college, or the University of North Carolina, all offering academic scholarships while I was in high school), I still support all things Volunteer and all things regarding Memphis Tiger basketball. Equally, on this site, I have personally made fun of both. Examples of me making fun of Tiger basketball can be found here, here, and here. I do live and die Memphis Tiger basketball, despite the recent heartbreak of the title game and lack of national titles (unlike Kentucky). A few of my favorite posts of satire of Tennessee can be found here, here, and here. There have been other things that we have touched upon, including West Virginia football, Alabama, and the Miami Dolphins during their “run” to futility. Check out the “April Fool’s Day” page .The original and still current mantra of this blog is “A Sports Blog On Why ALL Teams Suck”. It just so happened that I did one on Kentucky, and things went bat shit. Of course, I was hoping people to understand sarcasm but I guess I expected too much.

First off, I do actually work during the day and I am not around a computer until I get home. So if you are pissy about anything I have written, cool it until later in the evening. I am not some snot nosed college kid or an unemployed bum watching Judge Judy and ESPN First Take all day.

Second, the only mistake I made (I feel) is making the title “Wanna be an NBA Player???” It was intended to sarcastically point out that Kentucky hasn’t had an NBA lottery player in a long time and a first round player drafted in a few years. That is a fact, as confirmed by John Clay of the Lexington Herald Ledger (he even called my work crude. I feel honored). But some of you Kentucky fans pointed out how Rajon Rondo just won an NBA championship with Boston and Tayshaun Prince has just been named to the Olympic team. Kudos. The fact of the matter is that Rondo was on a great team and while point guard is an important position, Paul Pierce handled the ball more than any other Celtic during the title run. Thomas the Terrible could have run point guard and the Celtics were still going to win it all. As for Prince, while he has been a valued member of the Pistons, there is no way I would have picked him over Tyson Chandler, Amare Stoudamire, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, or even Paul Pierce. I am not the only one of this opinion.

Here is the bigger issue though: What is the real reason for the swarm of reaction??? Is it because the fanbase of Kentucky basketball is that fragile??? Or, did the truth really hurt??? Let’s look at these two questions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Adolph Rupp, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, basketball, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, College Basketball, crazy, Cry Baby, ESPN, Fights, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, satire, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , | 20 Comments »

I Know She’s Bipolar but….Damn

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 29, 2008

This is what can happen to you if you’re bipolar and suddenly stop taking your meds. It starts with vulgarity and ends with “I’m pressing charges!” So if you have little ones near by don’t play the video.

Posted in Bipolar, crazy, Crazy Women | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

1,2,3…Cut The F’n Tree!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 4, 2008

These days, there are a few things that are peeking my interest whenever time permits me (seeing as though this is Christmas time in the swimming pool industry). These things include the following: the R. Kelly Trial (click here for the Chicago Sun Times blog on the perv’s trial), Hell’s Kitchen (thank God that puss Matt finally got voted off), and Cal-Berkeley vs. the Tree People. These long days of summer where I am stuck dealing with jackass customers and stuck at work while others are enjoying vacation totally suck, but these are ample distractions. The R. Kelly Trial is interesting to me because this fool had everything but could not stay away from the girls with the Trapper Keepers, just like predecessors Gary Glitter, Michael Jackson, and Jerry Lee Lewis. Hell’s Kitchen is just funny because Gordon Ramsay has just become my favorite Brit. Actually, I watch BBC America whenever his Kitchen Nightmare shows are on and I discovered a show called Footballer’s Wives that had Playmaker’s and 1st and Ten beat by a long shot.

And then there is the loooooooooong drawn out court battle between the University of California vs. some coked out, tree hugging, Birkenstock wearing hippies. I still can’t believe that these godless pagans beat Tennessee last year, but I digress. I know this is about to piss of AB, but seeing as though the tree people can’t possibly be getting internet access, maybe she can send them a smoke signal from the backyard of her palatial estate.

I don’t see how this school is still participating in major D-1A sports. If I were the Pac-10, I would kick them out and bring in Fresno State. At least the football program would have more upsets against top competition and the cheerleaders would have a little more “urbanism” than the grandecafemochachocolatte $10 cups of coffee the prissy Blackberry toting chicas at Berkeley.

As a native Southerner, it amazes me that a few people are actually trying to save 100 year old trees. They are letting these trees get in the way of a perfectly good football stadium and practice facility. What good are some oak trees when your football team plays mediocre football??? Well then again, this is Cal football we are talking about. Don’t worry Cal: USC, Oregon, Arizona St., and Oregon St. will be dropping half a hundred a piece on you in no time. Keep the trees, and pray that you can keep your coach. Besides, surely the school could make use of some fresh cut trees. I mean, wood will still be needed for the new locker rooms, luxury suites, doors, and paper for the playbooks. Let’s just call it a recycling program.

You know, something looks familiar about that damn Cal bear…

Posted in Arizona State Sundevils, BCS, boosters, Cal, College Football, crazy, Fresno State, NCAA, Pac 10, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers, University of California berkeley | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

E-Mail From An Ohio State Fan

Posted by Joel Jackson on April 4, 2008

I have a friend named Peter who is a proud Buckeye. He graduates from Ohio State University, is a successful engineer, and is pretty well adjusted…

He is also a nutjob who is largely irrational when it comes to all things Ohio State. Trash talking is what he does, but I would not necessarily say it is the best thing he does. He actually sucks at it, as you will see from the following e-mail he sent me after the school’s triumph for winning the NIT last night. When I asked if he would not mind me sharing this e-mail with the rest of the free world, he said “Go for it, so the rest of the free world shall know the greatness that is being a Buckeye.”

Joel,

I know it has been a while since I shot you a text or e-mail, but the wife and I are in New York now (ed. note: His wife Amanda is a Florida Gator). Anyway, we just left Madison Square Garden kickin the asses of those UMass flower children in the NIT championship game. So now you can’t talk trash on how we can’t win the big one.

The last decade has been a great time to be a Buckeye. After finally running off John Cooper, we finally have a coach that wins championships in Jim Tressel. Our football team is loaded and next year we will win it all, and bring home that crystal football back to it’s rightful place in Columbus.

In basketball, once we got another great coach in Thad Matta and got off of probation, we have been dominant in basketball too. We should have made the NCAA tournament this year, but we made lemonade out of lemons and won the NIT. Hey, a championship is still a championship, and I can look Amanda in the eye and say that Florida didn’t make it to the NIT championship this year. That would have been sweet redemption for last year, when we couldn’t get a foul call in the NCAA’s last year. I know if that game last year were played on a neutral court with better officials, we would have dominated. Oden and Conley were a dynamic duo.

Now we get Terrell Pryor coming. He can learn the Buckeye system under the great Todd Boeckman, who should win the Heisman trophy. Then he can step in like Troy Smith in a couple of years and win 3 Heismans. Keep in mind, the only player to win multiple Heismans is the great Archie Griffin. Either way, we will run through scUM and the rest of the Big Ten, and I pray to God we play another SEC team in the championship game so I can shut you and Amanda both up. I don’t see what the big deal is about the SEC. just because a few teams beat us due to home cooking (see this year’s BCS title game in New Orleans against LSU). Plus, we beat Ole Miss in the NIT semifinal, so we did beat an SEC team in something. Amanda tells me that beating Ole Miss in anything is like winning a foot race against a kid wearing special shoes, but I told her that eventually Forrest Gump broke free out of his.

Anyway, take care of the family and I will do better with e-mails,

Peter (GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Now do you see why I just had to share this???

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(pic courtesy of the hard working guys at Losers With Socks)

Posted in Ass Whipping, basketball, BCS, big 10, big ten, big ten football, boosters, buckeyes, cheaters, College Basketball, College Football, College Gameday, Crack, crazy, dumbass, ESPN, Florida, Florida Gators, football, Football Poll, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Herban Meyer, Jim Tressel, Les Miles, LSU Tigers, NCAA, Ohio State, ohio state buckeyes, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Uh Oh, Pacman Is “Gon Make It Rain”

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 25, 2008

pacmanparty.jpg

So Pacman just went on Michael Irvin’s show today saying how he needed to watch who he hangs out with, and now this. Pacman, along with his trusty sidekick “Spoaty” are having a sockhop in “da ATL” on Sunday. So if anyone is in the Atlanta area on Sunday and need some way to kill off a Sunday night, here ya go. Ladies get in free and Grey Goose is on the house. I guess this means that Dana Jacobsen won’t be there since she’s a Belvedere chick. Don’t worry, they can afford all of the free Grey Goose because they got the flyers printed at Cheap Ass Flyers…

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Posted in alcoholics, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Big East, bongs, boo birds, classless, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Dead Drunk, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, DUI, dumbass, ESPN, football, guilty, Hip Hop, ho, Jerry Jones, legal troubles, Liar, Little Bitch, Marijuana, mary jane, moron, NFL, NFL Football, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Spoaty, Sports, stupid, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

South Carolina Receiver Embarrasses Steve Spurrier by Requesting a Jury Trial

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 21, 2008

The last thing Steve God Spurrier wants right now is attention drawn to the merry band of USC thugs. Back on February 19th I posted about a couple of USC players getting busted by the Po Po with a pot charge but of course much like even though Spurrier is the USC coach and they’re still losing, this simple charge isn’t the end of this.

Dion “Yo Hold that Smoke In Bro” Lecorn has foolishly asked for a jury trial. The reason I say it’s a foolish choice is because;

  • Lecorn, & freshman receiver Matt Clements told police they had been smoking marijuana in Lecorn’s car
  • The Po Po found the joint in the ashtray
  • Lecorn told officers the pot belonged to him

And yet let’s ask for a jury trial. It is unclear how the request will affect Lecorn’s status for spring drills (if any), which begin today with the first of 15 practices.

Even Lecorn’s attorney, Lowell Bernstein, is unclear about having to actually go to trial. Bernstein left open the possibility that Lecorn could apply for pretrial intervention or a similar diversion program for first-time offenders facing drug or alcohol charges.

“We just weren’t ready to proceed (Thursday) because we didn’t have any of the evidence,” Bernstein said. “I just want to look at everything first. So I’m not sure. There may be some alternatives like (PTI).”

That’s a first, an attorney avoiding a trial and higher legal fees, oh wait he knows he will lose the case…never mind. Maybe Lecorn should pull a Kevin Young & request a SLED investigation into his statements he made to the Po Po. What a way to kick off spring practice. Go Cocks!

Posted in court tv, crazy, Crime & Punishment, drugs, Marijuana, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A Win Win for the Cowboys & Raiders

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 19, 2008

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Yesterday, the Oakland Raiders acquired CB DeAngelo Hall from the Atlanta Falcons for a 2nd and 6th round pick i this year’s draft. The Raiders then gave Hall a 7 year, $70 million extension. This gives the Raiders an upgrade in the secondary, Hall a much needed break from getting burned twice a year by Panthers WR Steve Smith, and Atlanta 4 picks out of the first 40 selections in this year’s draft. So why could this mean a win win for the Cowboys and Raiders???

Oakland has this year’s #4 pick. Picking ahead of them are Miami, St. Louis, and Atlanta. The Cowboys have two 1st round picks this year, thanks to Cleveland giving them this year’s #1 pick so the Browns could trade for the new rainbow warrior, Brady Quinn.  Jerry Jones has stated that he wants some wow on Dallas’  offense this year. Jerry Jones should be on the phone with Raiders owner Al Davis now and offer both picks to the Raiders for the #4 overall pick. The Cowboys could then be in great position to take Darren McFadden. Jones would be happy to have an exciting fellow Razorback on his team, and the combination of Marion Barber and McFadden in the backfield would give the Cowboys that “wow” that Jones covets, and would instantly generate more of a buzz than the Cowboys already possess.

As for the Raiders, they would have 2 picks in the opening round, and since the picks would be lower than #4, they would not have to pay those selections as much money as if they kept the pick. They could then use those picks as trade bait, or use both to fill in holes on the offensive line, backfield, or linebacker.

Wait a minute, these are the Oakland Raiders we are talking about. Doing things that make sense are not what this franchise are about. Al Davis is as unpredictable as they come. They have a coach that really doesn’t wanna be there and is waiting to be fired, but Davis won’t because he would have to pay him a nice lump sum of money. Lane Kiffin wouldn’t even wear anything with the team logo on it at the Senior Bowl. Davis sues everyone that he can to prove his point. He has sued the league (and won), sued cities, and even sued the Tampa Bay Bucs a few years ago for copyright infringement (which the case was tossed out). Davis is 100 years old and looks every bit like Capt. Jack Sparrow after 90 years of hard sailing on the seven seas. Their fan base of bikers, dope heads, and Darth Vader fans are just as dysfunctional as the franchise is, and no one cares. Any Raider home game could also be substituted for the pep rally in the upcoming film “Doomsday”.

Maybe if Jones threw in a lifetime supply of white and black tracksuits and a rest of his life supply of Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfasts, then Davis would make the deal……………

Stay classy, Raider fan!!!

Posted in alcoholics, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, Arthur Blank, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Atlanta Falcons, Bill Callahan, bongs, boo birds, Brady Quinn, cat killer, cheaters, classless, College Football, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, draft pick, drugs, DUI, dumbass, ESPN, Evil Empire, Jerry Jones, NFL, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Cardinals v. Wildcats Will Play When Exactly???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 11, 2008

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Apparently, in the “Bluegrass State”, there is a pissing match brewing (as usual) between the Louisville Cardinals v. Kentucky Wildcats. The argument this time??? What day of Labor Day weekend the annual football game will be played on. Louisville wants to play the game on Monday night, Sept. 1. Kentucky wants to play the game sometime between Thursday, Aug. 28 to Aug. 31. ESPN would like to televise the game on Monday to take advantage of the usualMonday night Football slot (the NFL season won’t start until the following week). Kentucky’s reason for wanting the game at an earlier date: They want recovery time so that they can prepare for…NORFOLK STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s a quote from Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart:

“We’re willing to play that game Thursday through Sunday, and we’ve communicated that to the people at ESPN,” Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart told the Courier-Journal. “We’re not going to play that on a Monday night and give ourselves that short turnaround on a Saturday game. We’re going to have a young team, and we feel it’s in the best interest of our program to guard that prep time and that recovery time.”

Now keep in mind he is complaining about resting for Norfolk State. Not Ohio State, Florida State, Arizona State, Oregon State, or Michigan State. He is talking about Norfolk State, an HBCU, D-1AA program. Yes I know Appalachian State beat Michigan last year, but Appy State has been a dominant team in D-1AA (yes I still refuse to call it Football Championship Series). This is Norfolk State we are talking about. If Kentucky can’t man up on 5 days rest to beat Norfolk State, then they will be screwed for the upcoming SEC slate. Of course, they just might be screwed anyway, considering Andre Woodson and Wesley Woodward aren’t there anymore.

At the end of the day, this is gonna be a battle of mediocre teams, and whatever ESPN wants, ESPN gets. If they wanted this game played a day before Kentucky plays the “mighty” Norfolk State Spartans, it will happen. Money talks, and ESPN has billions of Disney Dollars. So Kentucky, give it up. Play the game on Monday night, have a light practice week, and roll up Norfolk State on that Saturday. One or two extra days to rest up against a D-1AA opponent is not gonna make a difference when you are gonna have the second string in by half time anyway. Oh, and can someone from Kentucky please explain this???

Posted in A. Woodson, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Appalachian State, Arizona State Sundevils, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, BCS, Big East, Bobby Petrino, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, College Football, College Gameday, crazy, draft pick, dumbass, ESPN, Kentucky Wildcats, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Norfolk State, Ohio State, Oregon State Beavers, retarded, riots, Rips Media, satire, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »