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Joel’s Crappy Weekend

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 17, 2008


-Kid wakes up at 6:30 am, thus killing any dreams of having a lazy Saturday morning. A feeling suddenly comes over me, telling me that today will not be a good day for the home team.

-I almost lose my little girl at the park around 10:30 am. I now feel like a “Father of the Year” candidate. I took my eye off of her for 5.8 seconds to answer my cell phone & she was gone. Luckily, she walked over to the mounted cop’s horse. Instantly, I was relieved and told her not to give the horse candy. We didn’t want to end up like Kenny from Half Baked.

-Watch the Memphis Tigers give the game away to Georgetown in OT. They need a point guard in the worst way.

-Kentucky beat Indiana, thus killing my sweet Billy Clyde/Hoosiers I had thought about. Bastards.

-Got into it with the better half. Guys, always remember that women, although beautiful creatures, are mean and vicious when they choose to be. After arguing, it was couch duty for me. Life sucks.

-I found out Candace Parker married that monkey looking Duke boy, thus killing my dream of me and Candace…wait,I am already doing couch duty. Let me shut up.

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Posted in Auburn, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, Candace Parker, Dallas Cowboys, Duke, Georgetown Hoyas, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, houston, Houston Texans, Kentucky Wildcats, Lady Vols, Love Sucks, Memphis Tigers, New York Giants, Sports, Tennessee Titans, Terrell Owens, War Eagle | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 9 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 26, 2008

It sucks to be a Tennessee fan this season however I’ll still support them no matter what. As always a complete write up on the Tennessee/Alabama game will be tomorrow after I torture myself by watching a replay of the game.

There were other teams in action yesterday. Let’s look and see what we have learned from yesterday.

UCONN got back on the Big Least track by hammering Cincinnati.

Indiana upset the smarties of Northwestern.

Apparently Boston College doesn’t want too go to the ACC championship game.

Wisconsin finally won a game by beating the fighting Zookers of Illinois.

Here’s a piece of advice: never schedule Texas Tech as a homecoming game. Just ask the Kansas Jayhawks.

The fall of Wake Forest and the rise of Miami as begun.

Minnesota is 7-1 and for real.

The gaytors of Florida hammered Kentucky by blowing them out by 58 points. Hey did they steal your plays as well?

Oklahoma scored 55 points in the 1st half against Kansas State but only 3 in the 2nd half. Oklahoma still handily won the game.

Vandy is still not bowl eligible and Couch Cut picks up another win for Duke.

Florida State beat Virginia Tech, that and the fact Virginia beat Georgia Tech means Virginia of all ACC teams is on top of the Coastal division in the ACC.

Look out folks Louisville might be back, they upset South Florida yesterday.

The beast known as Georgia reared its head yesterday by hanging 52 points at LSU. As you can see from the photo LSU fans is thrilled at all. (Click on it)

Trends started at Rutgers…

1. College football (1866)
2. Giving the finger to hovering HD cameras at college football games (2008)

For the first time in 10 years Michigan State beat Michigan at Michigan. I’m sure things are getting hot for Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez.

Texas barely wins against Oklahoma State. Folks this Oklahoma State is for real just America’s coach, Mike Gundy.

Pittsburgh was doing well but they regressed yesterday while Rutgers beat them.

Missouri took some frustration out on Colorado yesterday.

Texas A&M beat Iowa State. Check this video out. You have to love fans whose team is not performing well talking shit about the other teams. This video is hilarious!!!

JoePa gets his first win at the horseshoe since 1978 as Penn State beats Ohio State officially knocking them from playing in this year’s title game.

Washington is still winless and Notre Dame is 5-2.  They could become ranked this week.

Houston Nutt took Ole Miss in to Arkansas handed them another loss. I’m he is savoring that one.

Posted in ACC Football, Arkansas Razorbacks, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, College Football, David Cutcliffe, Dirty Sanchez, Duke, Duke Blue Devils, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, FSU, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hokies, Houston Nutt, Illinois Fighting Illini, Indiana Hoosiers, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, kansas jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, Les Miles, Louisville Cardinals, LSU Tigers, mark richt, mike leach, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, ole miss rebels, Penn State Nittany Lions, Pitt Panthers, Rutgers, SEC Football, South Florida Bulls, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, tOSU, Uconn, Uga, upsets, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Virginia Cavaliers, Virginia Tech, Wisconsin Badgers, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let’s Go Belmont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 18, 2008

It’s NCAA tournament time. The time of year where 65 teams have hopes of winning a title. People call in sick for work, office copiers run off brackets constantly (someone keep and eye on Rick Neuheisel) for office pools, and ESPN has their college basketball talking heads in overtime. Yet, just as it has been for as long as I can remember, I analyze the brackets for one singular reason: To cheer on whatever college is playing Duke. This year, we start with Belmont

In my time in Nashville, I ran across a lot of students and alums of Belmont University. They are very nice people, and they represent their school (founded on Christian principles) to the fullest. Minnie Pearl and Rachel Smith (Miss USA 2007) are two of their most famous alums. Athletically, the school is part of the Atlantic Sun Conference and is going to their 3rd consecutive NCAA tournament.

However, this is not so much a post rooting for the Belmont Bruins, although I am now officially on the Bruin bandwagon. There are a few sports teams that I cannot stand, and Duke is one of them. I hate the love fest that Dick Vitale and Mike Patrick have whenever they broadcast a Duke basketball game. The school turns McDonald’s All-Americans into NBA busts (Jason Williams, Mike Dunleavy, Jr, Bobby Hurley, Mike Gminski). The “Cameron Crazies” with their supposedly above average intelligence and their trust funds jump around like someone put Icy Hot in their Calvin Kleins. Their point guards are so gritty and tough slapping the half court at home to fire up the crowd. Coach KKK (affectionetly called this by the Nation of Islam Sportsblog) slowly morphs more into the Duke logo that he defends. You would have thought when UConn, led by Richard Hamilton, won the NCAA title in Tampa that I was a Husky fan.

Duke is officially on watch. I wanna see Greg Paulus (maybe the worst starting point guard in the NCAA today) get teabagged like Deron Washington from Va. Tech did here in the pic…


Go Bruins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, here’s Rachel Smith’s headshot…

Posted in ACC, Coach K, Dick Vitale, draft pick, Duke, Duke Blue Devils, dumbass, ESPN, Evil Empire, legal troubles, Mascots, mentally challenged, NCAA, Virginia Tech | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 3

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2007

Yesterday was a bad day & it will show in this post, but here are my revelations, after being forced against my will, of watching football yesterday.

A band of one legged midgets could rush for 300 yards against Tennessee’s defense.

Mississippi State has a lot of young talent.

Even though Tommy Tuberville voiced his opinion that Croom shouldn’t be fired after this season (I agree with with him), you have to wonder if he would have voiced it knowing he was going to lose at home against him.

Iowa sucks.

Ole Miss still sucks

Nebraska wasn’t ready for USC, I know the Gridiron Goddess is happy.

Nick Satan Saban looks like an arrogant fuck on the sidelines.

Just how good is Matt Ryan?

Kentucky is a blue state, the Big East winning streak against the SEC has been snapped.

Texas is highly overrated.

Welcome back to losers’ville UCLA we’ve missed you.

From what I saw the Nebraska cheerleaders were U-G-L-Y they ain’t got no alibi they ugly, they ugly.

New Hampshire beat Marshall what does that say about the Big East?

Just how red and sunburned can George O’Leary get?

As always the SEC officials suck.

I hate my cable company because they took ESPN Classic off the air, so I couldn’t watch the Kentucky-Louisville game.

The more I hear him speak, the more my distain for Lou’ser Holtz grows.

Duke is now allowed to leave losers’ville, Notre Dame enters.

Oklahoma continues to dominate.

Oregon is scary good.

Wisconsin’s defense is like Tennessee’s nonexistent.

Will Rutgers ever play a team with a pulse?

Washington isn’t there yet and WTF is up with having the word “Dawgs” on the front of the helmets? The only Dawgs are Georgia. You’re the Huskies.

Houston Nutt are you packing your bags yet?

So I profess on this day 9/16/07.


Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, boston college, College Football, College Gameday, Crimson Tide, Dawgs, Duke, ESPN, Florida Gators, George O'Leary, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Holtz, Iowa Hawkeyes, Louisville, mississippi state bulldogs, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Ohio State, Oklahoma sooners, ole miss rebels, Rutgers, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Longhorns, UCLA, University of Southern Cal, USC, Washington Huskies, Wisconsin Badgers | 4 Comments »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

Here are my revelations from yesterday, as I suffered being a couch slave.

The Big East teams have no defense.

Virginia won Loser Bowl part 1, Notre Dame and Meechigan square off for Loser Bowl part deux next week.




If Marshall had something called depth, West Virginia would have lost.

Neither Georgia or South Carolina looked like they were playing to their full potential, they both looked sloppy.

The Big Eleven Ten sucks. Case in point Michigan, Ohio State should have rolled, Wisconsin was disappointing. Penn State didn’t look great.

I don’t believe Anthony Morelli is has good people seem to think he is.

From the comments Lloyd Carr made yesterday, I think he’s given up.

Mike Hart of Meechigan is stud running back who embodies what college athletics is all about.

It’s a toss up between “Cavemen” and “Carpoolers”, as to which show will be canceled first.

Bob Davie is the worst commentator ever.

LSU = Domination.

Auburn sucks

I don’t see how USC will go undefeated in PAC-10 this year. Sorry Gridiron Goddess.

Tennessee took a step in the right direction.

Freddy Brown of South Carolina took a cheap shot and clipped a Georgia player, there were three personal fouls commented by So. Carolina, like I’ve been preaching, lack of discipline off the field, shows on the field.

Mark Richt looked pissed after the game last night.

Texas didn’t beat TCU, TCU beat themselves, and I’m not sold on Texas’s offense.

Oklahoma continues to shine.

Nebraska was clearly looking ahead to playing USC next week.

Someone show some love to Tyrone Willingham and the Washington Huskies.

I’m not sure if Oregon is scary good, or Michigan is scary bad.

With the exception of Georgia Tech, the ACC sucks and is college footballs worst conference.

Like I said last week America’s team Virginia Tech was overrated (clap clap clapclap ), I just didn’t realize by how much.

If I see another flipping “Olive Garden” commercial, I’ll never eat there again.

Speaking of the “Tragedy Bowl of 2007” featuring LSU & Virginia Tech, was tragically boring.

I’m willing to bet that West Virginia & Louisville falls in the polls due to no defense.

Teams that still have questions because they are still playing weak cupcakes or pathetic teams in general are:

Florida, West Virginia, Louisville, Rutgers, Alabama, UCLA, Texas A&M, Pittsburgh, Kentucky & Maryland.

Posted in ACC, Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Conference USA, Crimson Tide, Discipline, Duke, Ed Orgeron, ESPN, Florida Gators, football, Gamecocks, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hokies, Kentucky Wildcats, Les Miles, Lloyd Carr, Louisville, LSU Tigers, Michigan Wolverines, NC State Wolfpack, NCAA, Nick Saban, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Ohio State, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Oregon Ducks, Pac 10, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rocky Top, satire, SEC, SEC Coaches, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, southern miss, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas A&M, University of Southern Cal, USC, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, WVU | Leave a Comment »

Spurrier To USC “Let my stupid ass recruits in or me and my old ball sack coaching goodness are leaving!”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 6, 2007

In an effort to bring the football program up the standards of Florida, Spurrier wants USC, his employer, to let his stupid ass, pot smoking recruits in or he’s out of there.

“As long as I’m the coach here, we’re going to take guys that qualify (academically under NCAA guidelines),” Spurrier said. “If not, than I’ll have to go somewhere else because I can’t tell a young man, ‘You come to school here,” he qualifies and not do that. And we did that this year.”

Even though several universities with a winning tradition, such as Michigan, Ohio State & Cal, have higher admission standards than USC, Spurrier doesn’t think he can win with smart players. Which one has to wonder…how in the hell did he win at Duke? If Spurrier told Duke to lower their standards, they would get Coach K to punch him in the nuts.

Spurrier went on further to say “We can have a heck of a big-time college football program here at South Carolina if we want to do things the right way, and we’ve got to do things the right way. “

I think someone needs to remind him that the right way isn’t always his way. I also think he might using this as an excuse to leave after this season if he doesn’t get it done, and that’s just my opinion. So all you USC backers, fans & boosters, just think soon the glorious day will arrive when you will all gather around in the horseshoe and personally kiss Spurrier’s ass because “he” commands it.

Posted in Duke, Florida, SEC, South Carolina, Sports, Steve Spurrier, stupid | 1 Comment »

This is West Virginia Football or 15 no change that 16 reasons on why to not become a West Virginia Fan.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 4, 2007

1. Being known as the couch burning capital of college football.

2. Giving Lou Holtz his only national champion title.

3. Having a degenerate hippie like Steve Tanyhill defeat you to bring South Carolina their first ever bowl victory.

4. Being embarrassed by Maryland by a score of 34-7 only to play them later that same year in the Gator bowl just to embarrass yourself again by losing 41-7.

5. Running off some no name coach by the name of Bobby Bowden. You might have heard of him by now.

6. Knowing that Marshall has 2 national championships while you have none.

7. Taking pride in being the “Kings of Thursday Night Football”

8. Breaming with joy over having the 2nd highest rated game in ESPN History, while other schools rather look to their trophy case instead.

9. Knowing Marshall has produced players like Chad Pennington & Byron Leftwich, while West Virginia has produced players like Major Harris & Chris Henry.

10. After losing the Continental Tire bowl to Virginia in 2002, whine about Notre Dame going to the Gator bowl instead of you.

11. Having a losing bowl record.

12. Pacman Jones.

13. The middle finger of Marcus Vick.

14. Losing a home coming game to Duke.

15. Always being the third or fourth best team in the Big East until Miami and Virginia Tech fled to the ACC, just to have some teams from Conference USA come in, and put you back in to your place…3rd or 4th.

16. Losing to South Florida, a school who 10 years ago wasn’t a D1 program. Thanks Joel. 

Posted in ACC, Duke, Holtz, Major Harris, Pacman, Sports, The Big East, West Virginia, WVU | 8 Comments »