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Archive for the ‘FBI’ Category

Glocks & Athletes Are Not A Good Combination

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 1, 2008

I was well prepared to talk about Tennessee hiring Lane Kiffin and what I thought of it. I along with millions of other Volunteer fans have my opinion, but I want to spend this time to talk about a troubling trend the past, oh, 14 years or so. I am about to do my best Jason Whitlock impersonation, except I am not as big, well-known, or paid.

I have known and/or met quite a few pro athletes in my day. By and large, the ones that I have met are down to earth guys, trying to improve themselves in the sport that they play. They are trying to improve themselves so they can improve their bank accounts. For the athletes that have come from little to nothing growing up, they try to help out family and friends along their journey to fame and fortune. This cycle can lead to problems.

To the athletes reading this blog, please do the following couple of things for me:

*Leave the guns at home…

I am watching the Redskins vs. Giants game. Ironic because on this day, where the Redskins are honoring fallen teammate Sean Taylor, who was murdered in his home a year ago, Plaxico Burress is facing weapons charges because he decided to go “Cheddar Bob” on his thigh while carrying a handgun illegally (or he wanted to be on the next diss record of Eminem, 50 Cent, and Busta Rhymes). If the club was such a bad place to be, then why go??? He’s married (to a lawyer) and has a young son. Why put yourself through now facing jail time over seeing some ass shaking at the club, and get teammate Antonio Pierce involved??? Stephen Jackson, Jamaal Tinsley, and Marvin Harrison would agree. If you are about to go somewhere and you think that you need a gun, then don’t go. If I need a gun to go to my local Quickie Mart for a chocolate squishy, then I won’t be seeing Apu that night. Which leads me to the next point…

*Do not own more than 3 guns…

A wise man once told me that if you are gonna own a gun for home protection, get 3. One should be a handgun that you can grab quickly (Glock), one should be a rifle or shotgun, and one should be a small pistol that your woman could shoot in a pinch (.22 or .38). Whether this is wise or not, I think this is sound advice. In other words, do not be Tank Johnson. And if you wanna be a rapper, PLEASE do not be T.I.

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*Last, everyone is not out to get you…

Unless you allow yourself to be associated with bad people, not everyone is out to get you. Yes, crime is everywhere, and what happened to Sean Taylor was a tragedy not of his doing, but of 4 kids who wanted to take a short cut at getting ahead. At the same time, you athletes for the most part have more money than I will ever see. Use some of that to invest in a security company and let bodyguards carry the weapons. Because if you pull a Plax and not have that concealed handgun license, you could shoot yourself at 3 a.m., or face jail time. And please don’t rob any convenience stores…

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adam Jones, armed robbery, Assault & Battery, Bail Bondsman, basketball, Brawls, Chicago Bears, classless, court tv, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, dumbass, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, football, Goodell, guilty, Jemele Hill, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Football, NRA, Police, Sports, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008

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Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Auburn, bad calls, bad drivers, bad newz kennels, Bammers, baseball, basketball, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, classless, College Basketball, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, DAvid Stern, Dawgs, Dead Drunk, Discipline, divorce court, dog fighting, drugs, DUI, dumbass, Ed Orgeron, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, football, FSU, Fulmer, gambling, Gamecocks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Georgia, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, God, Goodell, guilty, Herban, Herban Meyer, ho, hooker, Houston Nutt, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Johnnie Cochran, Judge Judy, killer, Kobe, legal troubles, Little Bitch, LSU Tigers, Major League Baseball, marcus vick, Marijuana, mary jane, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, mississippi state bulldogs, Mitchell Report, MLB, mobsters, moron, murderer, NBA, NCAA, New York Knicks, NFL, NFL Football, nickelback sucks, notre dame sucks, NRA, NWA, OJ, OJ Simpson, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, oliver stone, ookie, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, refs, repo, Ricky Williams, riots, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Sports, Stephon Marbury, steroids, stupid, taser, taxes, team spirit, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Juice, Touchdown Jesus, trader, trailer trash, ugly wives, upsets, Vick, Vick Plea, VIP Connection, vols, walk-on, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, whore, WVU, zeke | 1 Comment »

The Preliminary Hearing is Over, OJ Gets Set For “Trial of the Century” Part Deux

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 15, 2007

All good movies deserve a sequel and apparently so do some carnival sideshows such as an OJ “Slasher” Simpson trial. Justice of the Peace Joe M. Bonaventure, didn’t waste any time ruling that all 12 charges would remain in upcoming blockbuster that will be titled “Trial of the Century Part Deux”.

In this latest chapter of the OJ saga expect to see OJ attempt to fend off kidnapping & armed robbery charges. Kidnapping convictions could result in a life sentence with possibility of parole. Armed robbery convictions would require some time in prison.

His crack team of attorneys argued that these charges are based upon the words of con artists and wanted them dropped. Granted these guys aren’t as good as the first dream team that defended OJ, then again OJ is poor now and he had to use that use one lawyer and get the services of the second one free coupon. Somebody better let OJ attorneys know that the FBI was made aware of this crime before it took place.

“This is what we expected,” Simpson told The Associated Press before he left the courtroom. “If I have any disappointment it’s that I wish a jury was here. As always, I rely on the jury system.”

Nice, I’m sure the comment come back to haunt him. If he is found guilty, which all of America seems to be rooting for (thank God), then he can write book titled “If I Still Believed in the Jury System”.

“Another Simpson lawyer, Gabriel Grasso, argued it was unclear whether prosecutors considered as kidnapping the act of luring two sports memorabilia dealers to a hotel room — or whether the charge was based on a confrontation that followed.

“This is clearly overcharging,” he said.”

“These guys are bad. The court can’t ascribe any credibility to what came out of their mouths,” said attorney John Moran Jr., who represents Ehrlich.

“Every witness up there was looking to sell testimony and make money off of this case,” Moran said.

Owens offered no defense of their character but said, “It’s not like the state went out and found the witnesses. These are people aligned with O.J. Simpson. These are the people he surrounds himself with.”

Boom!!! Score one for the prosecution. All they have to do is say look at the facts of the case. The fact that he is dating Christie Prody should be a punishable offense alone. Maybe OJ and Michael Vick can share a cell together, then again even Vick would be repulsed by OJ.

So I profess on this day 11/15/07

TtT

Posted in Christie Prody, classless, FBI, killer, Las Vegas, murderer, OJ Simpson, Police | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

OJ Simpson & the FBI Working Together?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 3, 2007

Nope I refuse to believe it however the FBI was made aware of OJ “Slasher” Simpson’s plans to retrieve his memorabilia some three weeks before the now infamous incident occurred. J. Edgar Hoover must be rolling over in his grave right now…while admiring the pretty burial dress that was chosen for him.

“Federal agents learned three weeks in advance that O.J. Simpson and a memorabilia dealer planned an operation to retrieve personal items Simpson said were stolen from him, according to FBI reports obtained Friday by The Associated Press.

Dealer Thomas Riccio told FBI agents Aug. 21 that Simpson wanted to televise the operation as he confronted a collector who was peddling thousands of pieces of Simpson’s memorabilia.

“The guy flat-out told me he had items stolen from O.J.’s house,” he said. “I have a legitimate business.”

Riccio told FBI agents Aug. 21 that Simpson wanted to videotape the confrontation. There was no mention in the report of plans to use guns.

Riccio was advised to contact a lawyer before taking any action and was told that alerting the FBI would not absolve him of any potential crime, FBI agent Linda Kline wrote of the meeting in Los Angeles.”

Why in the bloody hell would Simpson want to televise a crime? That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard of….oh wait this is OJ we’re talking about…so yeah that makes sense now.

“Simpson, 60, and five other men were arrested after they allegedly stormed a Palace Station hotel room in Las Vegas guns drawn Sept. 13 to seize the items.

Las Vegas police said the FBI did not alert them before the confrontation. An FBI spokesman declined to comment on the interview.

Simpson is charged with several felonies including armed robbery and kidnapping. Three co-defendants have pleaded guilty to lesser charges in exchange for testimony against Simpson. A preliminary hearing is scheduled next week.”

If I was the FBI I doubt I would alert the Las Vegas PD either, because this story sounds to crazy to be true. Then again a simple phone call wouldn’t have hurt either. Maybe get agents Moulder & Scully on the case.

Seriously with sarcasm set aside I find it disturbing that FBI literally allowed a crime to take place without any intervention at all. It’s not like the FBI actually thinks OJ isn’t capable of killing anyone. Just what law enforcement needs at this moment another bumbling screw-up by the FBI.

So I profess on this day 11/03/07.

TtT

Posted in Crime & Punishment, FBI, Feds, killer, murderer, OJ Simpson, X-Files | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »