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Archive for the ‘fired’ Category

Rejected cheerleaders take revenge on super hot role model coach

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 16, 2009

Nothing says "let's do it" like a dune buggy and board shorts.

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned especially if the woman is teenager who was deemed not good enough to make the cheerleading squad. 

In what could be an awesome after school special snotty nosed bitches that were cut from the cheerleading squad at Casa Roble High school in Orangevale, CA. took revenge in the form of exposing their role model coach for posing for Playboy. Of course the result of this was the coach getting fired. 

“What apparently uncovered the coach was when some girls didn’t make the cheerleading squad because they had a few unexcused absences from school. Their parents then made copies of Christine and dropped the pictures on the principal’s desk. Christine was then fired from her position at Casa Robles High School. 

“And I was in shock that I knew the girls had seen it and knew about it,” a parent told CBS13. A lot of parents and faculty are talking and looking. “The whole football team has seen it,” says one parent.” 

Christine was featured as Playboy’s Cyber Girl of the Week for the second week in February. As to why it took this long for the news to come out is a mystery to me, but I’m sure the principal debated “long and hard” over what to do. Hell yeah that pun was very much intended. 

I don’t know about everyone else, but if any of the female teachers from MY school had been in Playboy, I’d be more frightened than aroused. 

This brings home the central point that today’s youth need to understand: If somebody wrongs you, fairly or not, find anything out about them through any means available to ruin them emotionally, financially or personally. This was the only decision to be made. Just like it has been scientifically proven that girls don’t shit, teachers are never, ever naked. The minute we let them start thinking they’re real people is the minute we lose the children. (That whole paragraph is sarcasm defined by the way)

Posted in Cheerleaders, fired, Playboy | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

The Coach is fired, Diane Sawyer approves but Dallas Academy…you still got your butts whipped

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 27, 2009

Dear graphics department of ABC News: if your goal was to make me feel even more pity for the girls of Dallas Academy. Well then, mission still not accomplished.

And the fallout over the 100-0 ass beating continues….apparently The Covenant School believes Jesus would be a little more merciful. Micah Grimes, or Grimey as I like to call him, taught us that a man can triumph over adversity and loss his gainful employment at the same time.

This past Thursday apparently officials from The Covenant School went the Dallas Academy to apologize. They apologized for having a superior team which beat the hammered the Dallas Academy to a resounding final score of 100-0

I asked the simple question: What would Jesus do? And I got a lot of good replies which is unusual since other than a select few are usually to intimidated are so awe struck by my awesomeness to open your pie holes.

The Covenant School also published an apology on their website:

The Covenant School, its board and administrators, regrets the incident of January 13 and the outcome of the game with the Dallas Academy Varsity Girls Basketball team. It is shameful and an embarrassment that this happened.  This clearly does not reflect a Christ-like and honorable approach to competition. We humbly apologize for our actions and seek the forgiveness of Dallas Academy, TAPPS and our community.  The school and its representatives in no way support or condone the running up of a score against any team in any sport for any reason.  The school’s board members, Head of School Kyle Queal and Athletic Director Brice Helton have acted to ensure that such an unfortunate incident can never happen again.

Covenant school officials have met with and personally apologized to Dallas Academy Headmaster Jim Richardson and Athletic Director Jeremy Civello and wish to extend their highest praise to each member of the Dallas Academy Varsity Girls Basketball team for their strength, composure and fortitude in a game in which they clearly emerged the winner.  Accordingly, The Covenant School has contacted TAPPS and is submitting a formal request to forfeit the game recognizing that a victory without honor is a great loss.

Well this didn’t set to well with Coach Grimey who posted the following on his own web site:

In response to the statement posted on The Covenant School Website, I respectfully disagree with the apology, especially the notion that the Covenant School girls basketball team should feel “embarrassed” or “ashamed”. We played the game as it was meant to be played and would not intentionally run up the score on any opponent. Although a wide-margin victory is never evidence of compassion, my girls played with honor and integrity and showed respect to Dallas Academy. We honor God, ourselves, and our families when we step on the court to compete. I do not wish to forfeit the game. What kind of example does it set for our children? Do we really want to punish Covenant School girls?  Does forfeiting really help Dallas Academy girls?  We experienced a blowout almost 4 years ago and it was painful, but it made us who we are today. I believe in the lessons that sports teach us.  Competition builds character, and teaches us to value selflessness, hard work, and perseverance.  As a coach, I have instilled in my girls these values. So if I lose my job over these statements, I will walk away with my integrity.

Well Coach Grimey’s response to the apology has prompted The Covenant School to can Coach Grimey. But hey he still has his integrity.

Meanwhile at the Dallas Academy batcave…the eight girl team of 100-0 losers gets to meet Diane Sawyer and was on Good Morning American yesterday plus they are now the media’s new loveable losers. That’s right Chicago Cubs…you have been replaced…losers.

Dallas Academy girls, portrayed as lovable losers on the court but winners in life for their attitude after the loss, have been showered with praise nationally. They’ve were on ABC and CBS network morning shows on Saturday and are scheduled to make a repeat appearance on ABC’s Good Morning America on Monday as well as their Today show debut.”

So what are the lessons here? I mean this team got beaten soundly…and even cancelled the rest of their league games because of it. However since they have proven that they’re not very good at basketball they get to meet people like Diane Sawyer and get doted on as if they have special powers. The coach of the winning team gets fired for NOT telling his team to try their best.

I realize that this is a time when every kid gets a trophy or star for “trying” but what lessons have the Dallas Academy kids really learned? To fire The Covenant School coach is a serious overreaction in my humble opinion.

Is it possible that the way the story has been blown out of proportion the real reason why Coach Grimey was let go? After all about 3 years ago The Covenant School girl’s team lost a game by the score of 82-6; this really isn’t that much different.

If this guy got fired, Bob Stoops should probably be strapped to a rocket and sent into space and the truly remarkable thing is that Isiah Thomas is not involved someway in this fiasco.

Thus is the state of the “everyone is a winner” culture. It makes me sick. Why is there such a departure from winners and losers? This is teaching kids that they are entitled to something even when there performance is lacking. I realize that one team far outmatched the other, but that should be a lesson to the losing team that there are times in life when someone else is better. If you aren’t learning you aren’t living.

Despite all of this adulation, the team will face some form of punishment when they are inevitably handed an ESPY previously awarded to Jason McElwaine.

Posted in Ass Whipping, Dallas Academy, fired, Micah Grimes, The Covenant School, WTF | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Gruden Firing, it was a Mercy Firing

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 19, 2009

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When Tennessee was still searching for coach many rumors surfaced around Jon Gruden. Oh the message boards were full of Vol fans saying that their “inside sources” had Gruden in as a lock. Then (not so surprisingly) Gruden announced that he had no interest in the Tennessee coaching job.

Now some 2 months later, Gruden might be regretting not taking a closer look at that position.

Last Saturday shock waves were sent through the NFL when Tampa Bay announced that Jon Gruden is out as head coach and Raheem Morris was named the new head coach. Morris had been the defensive coordinator since…um Christmas.

After examining Tampa’s numbers since Gruden took over as coach, I’m not that surprised that he was fired. A lot of people keep looking back at the Super Bowl season and asking why was he fired. As a fan I can tell you why: That was Tony Dungy’s team that won the Super Bowl.

Tampa Bay never averaged more than 23 points a game in a season and for four of the seven seasons Gruden was there, they didn’t average 20 points per game.

  • 2002: 21.63 ppg
  • 2003: 18.8 ppg
  • 2004: 18.8 ppg
  • 2005: 18.75 ppg
  • 2006: 13.19 ppg
  • 2007: 20.88 ppg
  • 2008: 22.56 ppg

In a cruel twist of fate, this past season was Tampa Bay’s most offensively productive season. There were other factors that involved his firing.

  • 9-18 in the month of December
  • 45-53 after the Super Bowl
  • 1st round losses in the playoffs in 2005 & 2007

Tennessee might have indivertibly been the final nail in the Gruden coffin by luring Monte Kiffin, the main reason for Tampa’s defensive dominance, to become defensive coordinator and working under his son.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Jon, but his firing shouldn’t be that surprised once you analyze the numbers. What’s strange is that Herm Edwards and Marvin Lewis haven’t been fired…yet.

I’m going to miss poor Chucky, loved hearing the F-Bombs he’d be dropping during the game that the sideline audio would pick up. He was always very amusing to watch, and read his lips.

Somewhere, hooked up to an iron lung, Al Davis is attempting to laugh. Only laughing will accelerate his death. And Al Davis is hell-bent on never dying.

aldavisgrantorino

Posted in Al Davis, fired, Jon Gruden, NFL Football, Tampa Bay Bucs | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Weeeeee let’s get ready for the NFL playoffs as the NFL coaching carousel begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 30, 2008

Before the NFL playoffs begin the coaching carousel must start to take shape and it has already begun.

So let’s review the coaches who are out so far.

The first on the list is Eric Mangini which is not a huge surprise. The Jets obtained the most delusional QB in Brett Favre and God knows Favre doesn’t throw interceptions at bad times in big games. *Sarcasm*

Is this where I can discuss Brett Favre's heroic effort through the greatest of injuries?

To makes matters worse according to Pro Football Talk, his role in Spygate could hinder his employability. Let’s also mention the fact he had man-boobs but was a good disciplinarian, but I swear to god you got out coached 4/5 weeks.

This is the worst thing to happen to him since King Of Queens got cancelled.

The second one on this list is Romeo Crennel. Now let’s not all act surprised here. Technically speaking Crennel was fired before the Jets’ Eric Mangini or the Lions’ Rod Marinelli who is next on this list.

Crennel’s firing came shortly after the Browns fired general manager Phil Savage.

I myself question his employability. He had five coaching job interviews in less than 36 hours in 2003. The teams that turned him down were the New York Giants, Buffalo Bills, Arizona Cardinals, Chicago Bears and Atlanta Falcons.

Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel: The “Generation K” of Patriots coordinators.

Just to make Browns fans cringe in even more misery, according to AP, the Browns have asked Bill Cowher if he were interested in the job, but Cowher said no thanks.

The third on this list is the Lions’ Rod Marinelli which is the least surprising firing in the history of the NFL. That’s what 0-16 will do for you. So the Toyota “Saved by Zero” promotion does not apply here.

Nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like the bloodlust shown on the Monday after the football season. Three cheers for people getting axed!!

The Browns come a long way since being pre-season champs (4-0). On the bright side, they have two first-round draft picks, on the dark side; the Lions need a team enema.

Tim “The Toolman” Taylor thinks this team can’t even be fixed with the new Binford Suck3000.

So many new candidates for Al Davis to choose from!!!

Posted in Al Davis, Brett Favre, cleveland browns, Detroit Lions, divorce court, Eric Mangini, fired, New York Jets, NFL Football, Rod Marinelli, Romeo Crennel | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Ultimate Christmas Miracle

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 29, 2008

lionsyeswecan

‘Twas the Sunday after Christmas, when all in Green Bay

Not a Lion was winning, oh what can I say;

The game plans were hung by the lockers with care,

In hopes that victory soon would be there;

The players were huddled all chill in their beds,

While visions of winning danced in their heads;

And Coach in his jacket, and I in helmet,

Had just got hyped so the losses I would forget,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the room to see what was the matter.

Away to the tundra I flew like a flash,

Went to the field and listened to “The Clash.”

The sun on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to Packers below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Grant, and Rodgers, and Driver are near.

With a little shimmy, so lively and quick,

I knew, in that moment I said oh shit!

More rapid than our DB’s they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Clifton, now, Jordy! now, Jennings we’ll mix it!

These Lions don’t recognize coverage & zone blitzes!

To the middle of the field, Lambeau Leap over the wall!

Al Harris, Charles Woodson, TD’s for all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with more obstacles, mount to the sky,

So up to the concourses of the field they flew

With 0-16 shirts worn on kids as young as 2.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the huddle

The crying of grown men, tears in puddles.

As I drew plays in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the pike the referee came to town.

He was dressed all in stripes, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all clean & snug with Reebok boots.

A Hall of Fame football he had in his hands behind his back,

And he was ready, for Canton this ball he would pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His whistle was chrome! His yellow flag was scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And he wanted to be part of history, so it was time to go;

The look in his eye was not a welcome treat,

And looked at us & he could smell the defeat;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he ran downfield like jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old ref,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a flick of his wrist,

Soon gave me 15 yards for another illegal shift;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And launched the flag; then turned (the big jerk),

And laying his finger besides the helmet that was bent,

And giving a nod, back to the sidelines he went;

He sprang to the sidelines and blew his whitsle,

At the end of the game, he left like a missile.

But I heard the fans exclaim, as they drove off in their trucks,

“You guys are 0-16, the Detroit Lions suck!!!”

Posted in Detroit Free Press, Detroit Lions, fired, football, Green Bay Packers, NFL, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Breaking News: Bowden out at Clemson & yet Fulmer remains employed. WTF?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 13, 2008

 

 

You can feel the relief in Clemson. It’s a gorgeous day because Wake Forest strikes again!!!! Grobe = Coach Killer. Clemson fired football coach Tommy Bowden on Monday; four days after the Tigers lost to Wake Forest and fell to 3-3. 

Coming into this season the Tiger were ranked No. 9 in AP Top 25 poll but then they met Alabama. 

Bowden received a lucrative contract extension from Clemson after the 2007 season.

He received the extension after considering a potential coaching position at Arkansas. Bowden, the son of F$U coach Bobby Bowden, has a 72-45 record and eight bowl appearances at Clemson. 

And yet Fulmer is still employed please someone figure this out for me.

 

Can’t say this wasn’t unexpected… How many times has Clemson been picked to win at least the ACC? As the coach of an underachieving he takes all the responsibility. Bowden was a good coach who never produced the results everyone thought was possible with a usually talented team. Of course this sounds another coach who also wears orange on the sidelines. I wonder who that could be…

 

Of course Bowden wasn’t the problem; it was his assistant coaches, whom he was loyal to. That is just my opinion. They need to fire Rob Spence too. His play calling has been a big reason why their offense hasn’t done anything this year.

 

Posted in ACC Football, Clemson Tigers, fired, Tommy Bowden | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

I Declare This Franchise is Isiah Thomas Free!!! (Sort of)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 19, 2008

The rain stops. The clouds clear. A small beam of sunlight shines upon the Garden once again. At long last, Isiah Thomas is out as head coach of the New York Knicks. Finally, it was like watching a wounded animal.

In one of the most heavily expected firings in NBA history, incoming Knicks president Donnie Walsh announced late today he was firing that half-brained twit relieving Thomas of his coaching duties. But Thomas, still owed $18 million after receiving a long-term contract extension 13 months ago because Dolan is either an idiot or on some heavy drugs, will remain in the organization with no official title.

Basically Thomas will have to work for his $$$. He could be the unofficial janitor or the unofficial Walsh ball licker. The possibilities are endless, but it’s a mistake. Thomas is like a franchise cancer…

“I think Isiah remaining part of the franchise is good for the organization,” Walsh said on a conference call with reporters. “I value Isiah’s knowledge of the game and his opinions, so I will use him as a resource. Isiah will be reporting to me. There will be nobody reporting to Isiah.”

Heh. Anyone else see a Gimp suit in Isiah’s future?

Donnie Walsh: “Bring out Isiah.”
Jimmy Dolan: “But Isiah’s sleeping’.”
Donnie Walsh: “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to go wake him up now, won’t you?”

If he has meaningful input he should have been giving it since the start of the season and maybe he would still be the coach. If the Knicks are truly returning to sanity, Marbury and Randolph are on the next train out.

The Knicks finished 23-59, matching the franchise record for losses, in their seventh straight losing season.

“I can’t tell you really where we failed,” Walsh said. “The bottom line is we haven’t won, and the team didn’t look like it was motivated to try to win.”

Uhhh let’s see..this season alone, Thomas was found to have sexually harassed a former team employee, feuded with point guard Stephon Marbury and benched center Eddy Curry — the players Thomas acquired in the two biggest of a number of moves that never panned out. And to reiterate that’s this season alone.

“Obviously, when you’re losing, there has to be a culture change,” he said. “There’s no easy answer. … We’ve got to work 24-7 to become competitive.”

And Thomas will be a part of that. Why I don’t know…

“I feel like some of the bigger events that happened on the way with Isiah overshadowed some of the good things” that he accomplished, Walsh said.

“I will be in touch with Isiah a lot,” he said.

Every day at lunch. “Isiah, where’s my calzone? I smell calzone. Isiah?!”

Wow…the architect of some of the worst trades in NBA history? A sexual harassment scandal? Amazing….that they still want to keep him a part of the organization. I don’t understand how an organization in New York could tolerate so much from a guy, and yet keep him for janitorial duties. I mean it boggles the mind that he held both GM and coaching positions at the same time.

Help me decide what to do with Thomas if I had to keep him, what would be the end result?

a. Isaiah gets to section A-5 but brings a broom and a dustpan
b. Isaiah brings a mop and bucket, but to section c-6
c. Isaiah brings broom and dustpan to section c-6

Chants of “Fire Isiah!” sometimes started minutes after home games, and even Dolan’s strong relationship with Thomas couldn’t convince people the coach would last.

Posted in Anucha Browne Sanders, boo birds, fired, Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

YMSWWC’s “Official” NFL Draft Preview Picks 1-5

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 12, 2008

Well I am a little bit depressed because the TV will be polluted with coverage of Roger Clemens v. Brian MacNamee. How many times can one hear a variation of “It Wasn’t Me???” Examples: “I didn’t use steroids. Period.” “I did not have sexual relations with woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” “I didn’t kill my wife and her friend.” “I didn’t try to make it rain in the strip club.” “I am not a crook.” So with that said, let us instead focus on the future, where we can hope that this top rated prospect becomes either the next Dan Fouts or the next Tony Mandarich. This year, I think we might have both. Here are the official (unless Thomas says different) YMSWWC NFL Mock Draft Picks (1-5)

ani_mermaid2.gif Miami Dolphins: These heartbreakers have the distinct pleasure of picking first. Yes the needs are many. There is not a position on the field that they do not need any immediate help. Outside of Jason Taylor, you can pretty much trash the roster. In comes Bill Parcells. He will bring organization to a franchise that still is trying to recover from “Saban Nation”. I have heard that a certain billionaire wildcatter who is an Arkansas alum may be trying to trade up with a certain coach turned GM that used to sign that GM’s checks, and that would make sense. Dolphins could use 2 first round picks, but I don’t see that happening. With that said, they will take long hard look at Glenn Dorsey, Jake Long, and Chris Long. So the pick will be: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.

a_sosheep_0205.jpgSt. Louis Rams-Yet another team that went through a hard season. These aren’t your 1999-2002 Rams anymore. They are more like the 1989-1998 Rams. Age, injuries, bad free agent signings have turned these rams into sheep (Quick Longhorn/Aggie joke: How do you know when you are getting close to AggieLand? When you start seeing the sheep back up to the fence). Defense is more of a need than offense at this point. Pick: Chris Long, DE, Virginia.

images.jpeg Atlanta Falcons-Wow. Holy weed smoking, dog fighting, carpet bagging, GM and Coach rejection Batman. What in the world is going on in the ATL??? Well this is actually an easy pick, just because they have one big black hole where the QB spot is (not the black hole that is being pounded in Leavenworth). I think this will be a bad pick, but somebody’s gotta overpay for an All-American QB, so it might as well be Arthur Blank. Pick: Matt Ryan (Leaf), QB, Boston College

soul-hc-c.jpg Kansas City Chiefs-Offensive Line, Offensive Line, Offensive Line. Yes, they need a QB and another WR, but what good is all of that if you have a revolving door for an offensive line??? It’s hard to think that the O-Line was just a few years ago spectacular. Even though I love Ryan Clady from Boise St., that makes too much sense, and the overlord team President known as Carl Petersen doesn’t make decisions that make sense. So: Jake Long, OT, Michigan

chibi-jack-sparrow-by-evilchibiminion.jpg Oakland Raiders-These are some of the most dedicated fans that I have seen, and yet, some of the scariest. I had a couple of friends that went to Whatevertheycallit Coliseum to see Oakland and the Titans play. They figured a nice trip to the Bay Area would be great. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good trip. One word of advice: If making the trip to see a Raiders game, do NOT wear the other team’s colors unless your name is Kimbo Slice or you love the aroma of beer, weed, and middle aged biker chicks. Of course, this is Uncle Al’s team, and he LOVES offense. Guess who this pick will be??? Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Picks 6-10 will be coming soon…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, bad calls, bad newz kennels, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Boise State, bongs, boo birds, boosters, boston college, cheaters, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, dog fighting, draft pick, drugs, dumbass, ESPN, Feds, fired, football, Football Poll, gambling, Georgia, Goodell, Hip Hop, ho, Internet Rumors, Jerry Jones, killer, legal troubles, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, miami dolphins, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Nick Saban, notre dame sucks, OJ, OJ Simpson, Pac 10, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, Ricky Williams, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, secrets, Sports, steroids, stupid, The Big East, Vick, Vick Plea, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

There’s An Axe Swinging At ESPN/ABC

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 11, 2008

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In today’s USA Today, it is reported that Michele Tafoya and Suzy Kolber will have reduced roles during their Monday Night Football telecasts. As of right now, there is no word as to what exactly their new roles will be. According to ESPN’s Mike Soltys, “There precise roles are yet to be determined.” Also, on the ABC Sports side, contracts of Dan Fouts and Tim Brandt will not be renewed. Fouts and Brandt mostly worked on Pac-10 games.

Tafoya and Kolber should not be the only changes on the Monday Night Football broadcast. Kornheiser needs to go. While I am not that familiar with his columns, I thought he did a great on the radio and works well with Mike Wilbon on PTI. In the broadcast booth, he is no better than Dennis Miller. At least he doesn’t try to use words from an SAT study guide like Miller commonly does. Personally, I would like to see Mike “Sexual Harassment” Tirico go too. Give some young and up and coming broadcaster the gig. Also, if they want to upgrade from Tafoya and Kolber, America’s Favorite Gator Erin Andrews is available.

As for Fouts and Brandt, I thought they were great on the telecast. Personally, I thought they made the best broadcast team that ABC/ESPN had for football coverage. I think the problem was that they focused on the details of the game. X’s and O’s were their thing. This is the ABC/ESPN mindset: Who needs X’s and O’s and who wants to learn more about the game, when Matthew McGodhesgay is down there in the student section??? Let’s put a shirt on that guy, take that Texas sized spliff out of his hands, and bring him up to the booth so he can talk about his Longhorns. After all, nothing says Longhorn football like a shirtless neo-conservative playing the bongos and having a case of the munchies.

Here is my personal list of people I think need to be let go by ESPN specifically:

*Stuart Scott-Can a man be so much of a walking cliche??? He was cool back in 1997 and has aged since.

*Colin Cowherd-Bring back Kornheiser on the radio. Cowherd belongs on Fox Sports Radio. Douchebag.

*Sean Salisbury-Do I honestly need a reason here???

*Kirk Herbstreit-Pretty boy QB with the analytical abilities of a 5 year old Madden gamer.

*Skip Bayless-He’s another guy that believes his own press clippings too much.

*Mike Lupica-Suffers from “Little Man Syndrome” and probably Erectile Dysfunction.

* Any of the Baseball Tonight Crew Not Named Karl Ravech, Peter Gammons, or Buster Olney.

*Rachel Nichols-I think she would be cool not in front of the camera. She doesn’t blink for God’s sake. Freaky…

*Mike & Mike-Insert gay & meathead joke here.

I know I left out the usual names like Berman, Musberger, Mike Patrick, Dana Jacobson. They always give us great YouTube clips, so I think they should stay. Plus, I heard Dana Jacobsen loves to party. Also, I left out overrated RB Emmitt Smith. I know he can’t talk, but if they send him to ESPN Deportes for about 3 months so he can learn Spanish, he just might do better. Just keep him away from Adriana Monsalve

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Posted in ACC, ACC Football, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, baseball, basketball, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Chris Berman, College Basketball, College Football, College Gameday, ESPN, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Gator mafia, Internet Rumors, legal troubles, Major League Baseball, MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Sexual-Harassment Case, steroids, Stu Scott, stupid, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008

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Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

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