Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘Fulmer’ Category

The Tennessee/Kentucky Grade Book: Fulmer Goes Out a Winner

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 1, 2008

fulmer-shoulders

Well the close of the season has happened and while I’m happy about it, I’m also a little sad to see Fulmer go. I can honestly say that it has been awhile since I was as proud of a Tennessee football team as I was during the second half of the past game.

It was an appropriate sendoff for a coach who has won almost 75 percent of his games in 17 years and never lost to Kentucky.

Nobody is surprised that the 6th ranked defense of the VOLS shut down the Wildcats however who were those guys wearing the offensive players uniforms? And where have they been all season?

While everyone is giddy about King Kiffin TM being named being introduced as Tennessee’s new coach today at 2:00 PM, let’s reflect on this past Saturday’s game.

Quarterbacks B-

By far perhaps the highest grade Crompton will ever earn and the highest grade he has earned to date. Did everyone forget he was a decent deep ball passer? God knows I certainly forgot. Crompton avoided stupid plays and turnovers. Maybe it’s the beard, who knows. Gerald Jones owned KY with the G-Gun. They knew it was coming and yet couldn’t stop it.

Running Backs A-

Call it auditioning for the NFL or pride, but Foster looked great yesterday while pounding the rock and making great blocks. Creer as always was impressive.

Receivers D

Easily the biggest hiccup in the game however Moore showed how quickly the offense was capable of scoring with a 63-yard TD reception. Rogers had an obvious and costly offensive pass interference penalty.

Offensive Line B+

The line gave up pass protection in the early stages of the game, but they came together to provide an excellent push for the run game.

Defensive Line A

At the beginning of the game it seemed KenSucky was going to be able to run the ball on this line, but that didn’t last long. Ayers and Fisher both had key tackles for losses.

Linebackers A+

Can anyone stop Nevin McKenzie or Rico McCoy? McKenzie had two tackles for losses and McCoy registered eight tackles, but it was Ellix Wilson who led the way with nine total tackles.

Secondary A+

Eric Berry had five tackles, two of those were for loses. The secondary coverage was stifling.

Special Teams C+

Lincoln Logs continues to suck by missing field goals however outside of that there were no mistakes.

Coaching A

Easily the best grade the staff has earned this season.

Overall WMYP

We’ll miss you Phil. The team showed character. Just like their coach has always showed and had. Being carried off the field may not mean as much as a crystal football to you but you deserved both and better. Wish you and your family the best. You will be missed. Go Vols!!!!

Advertisements

Posted in Fulmer, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Kentucky Wildcats, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 14 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 30, 2008

Yes folks I decided to take some time away from writing and enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend, I hope you had a pleasant and happy Thanksgiving.

I dub yesterday as disappointment day with the exception of Tennessee. I don’t mean to gloat, well…actually I do but this is the worst team that Tennessee has even placed on the field and yet Kentucky still couldn’t beat them. The streak lives on because Tennessee is Tennessee and Kentucky is Kentucky.

I’ll have a full write up on that game tomorrow.

Notre Dame put up a fight against USC at least until kickoff occurred. The Irish kept interrupting the Trojans’ pregame warmups which resulted in punches thrown and the Po Po intervening. Of course in the end Southern Cal proved what everyone knows and that is Notre Dame is a horrid team. Next stop on the Brian Kelly rumor-mill…why I’m betting Notre Dame.

Georgia seriously screws my picks up and loses to Georgia Tech.

Same old South Carolina, they still can’t beat their arch rivals the Clemson Tigers even though Clemson has an interim head coach. Hopefully this win will lead to Clemson offering the job to Dabo Swinney.

The Ole Ball (Sac) Coach is plenty mad after this embarrassment which lead Spurrier to degrade his players even further publicly. Honestly I’m wondering if he has lost this team. The reason I say that is because at the end of the game South Carolina tried to start a fight instead of shaking hands…classless.

Florida did what everyone thought they would do and beat up Florida State.

With Boston College and Virginia Tech both winning yesterday it looks like a rematch is set for the ACC title game. The same game that didn’t sell 50% of the tickets last year. Joy…

Alabama ends the Auburn winning streak they had against Bama…rather soundly at that. Time will tell if Auburn is foolish enough to fire Coach Turbeville.

No Rose bowl for you Oregon State, unless by some miracle UCLA can upset Southern Cal. Oregon State got hammered by the ugly uniform wearing Ducks of Oregon.

Oklahoma and Oklahoma State was a closer game than what the score indicates and it was a great game. Hats off to both teams.

Posted in ACC Football, Auburn, Big Twelve Football, boston college, Brian Kelly, classless, Clemson Tigers, Dabo Swinney, Fights, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fulmer, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Hokies, Kentucky Wildcats, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Old Ball Sack Coach, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, southern cal, Tennessee Volunteers, Tommy Tuberville, USC, Virginia Tech | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

My Memory Of Fulmer

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 3, 2008

So Fulmer is gone. Wow. This is the breakup that you knew would happen, but when it does happen you are still shocked. Watching the press conference, I saw a man with a fire and passion still for Tennessee football, but was also sad that his time was gone. Seeing him tear up was touching, although a $6 million buyout along with his legendary status in the state & Vol fans nationwide will dry his tears.

s_fulmer_i

I wanna travel back in time and share a memory that I had of Coach Fulmer. I went to Knoxville in the spring of 1997. I had a childhood friend that was getting scholarship offers from a ton of schools, including Tennessee. Since I was in college in Nashville, I agreed to meet my friend in Knoxville. You know, like I really needed an excuse to go to Knoxville. Anyway, we go there with his mom and stepdad & tour the campus then meet with the football staff. After catching a shuttle to Neyland, we meet some of the players there along with Coach Fulmer.

A lot has been said about his weight. I can’t think of another coach that has been photoshopped with love (and hatred) than Coach Fulmer. With that said, meeting him I could see that he generally doesn’t skip a meal with plenty of carbs and sugar. In other words, he’s a big guy. But when meeting him, he was gentle. I can remember Fulmer telling my buddy & I to meet him in the tunnel, along with some of the other recruits. I can remember him giving us a pep talk then telling us “Will you give your all for Tennessee today?!?!” Of course we said yes and ran out of the tunnel like we were about to line up. He made me feel like I was actually a player, even though I was far from it.

A few years later, I visited my friend & two of his linemen buddies in their apartment. They had to go to study hall on Sunday & as we get on campus, we see Fulmer pull up. After speaking, he tells me that someone on his staff needs to be fired to have a skinny runt on his team. I shoot back that they recruited me so I could be his personal Krispy Kreme guy. He laughs, puts his massive hands on my shoulder, and says “Well if that is the case, your hands are empty & you’re fired”. He was a good sport about things.

Whatever happens, I will always remember Coach Fulmer for a lot of things, but these are my two favorite memories of the man. Work like heck.

Big John Henderson is scary…

Posted in College Football, football, Fulmer, Go Vols, NCAA, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, vols | Leave a Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Alabama Week Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 22, 2008

That’s right folks it’s Alabama week and one can not have an Alabama week with the Big Orange Roundtable now can we? Taking a cue from the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, both Billy Bob Bammer and I will be answering the questions this week.

With out further a due let’s go to the roundtable!!! (Never mind the smell it’s Bama related)

Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire.  If your team is the Death Star, what is its planet-destroying weapon?

Thomas the Terrible: Simple Eric Berry. He is the crusher of the dreams for the QB’s and hits like hell, just ask Knowshon Moreno. He has already accumulated 5 interceptions this season and leads the county in interceptions as well.

He is a lock for all-American and possibly defensive player of the year in the SEC, unless the ref that tackled Stephen Garcia steals it. Not to mention he is also a tackling machine.

Billy Bob Bammer: Shoot that there is a easy one. Our boosters. You see our boosters pay the players more than what they might receive in the NFL. How the hell you think we get such good players in the first place?

The one thing a young man needs to worry when coming to Bama is football. You say you have a test in painting by numbers? Our boosters will gladly take that test for you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Beat Bama, boosters, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, fire philip fulmer, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Yup…It’s Time…

Posted by Joel Jackson on September 4, 2008

No, we here at the site are not endorsing Obama, McCain, or any other candidate for President. Nor are we trying to say that Fulmer is a supporter of Obama, as far as we know.

This post is about one thing, and one thing that I as a long time fan of things Rocky Top thought I would not post: changes need to occur. Fulmer needs to go.

It was this time last year that, as a matter of fact 1 year ago, that I wrote this piece. It was after the UT-Cal game. I was truly in a dark place, a place that I arrived in by a lethal combination of Jack Daniel’s and a 3 month baby girl. Having a headache from liquor and crying kids is not a good combination. However, the seeds of my discontent were not sewn during that game, but back during the mid-90’s. Yes, the “glory” years of Tennessee football. Remember when Steve Spurrier famously said “You can’t spell Citrus without UT”??? Man that hurt, but it pretty much was the truth. Look at Fulmer’s record vs. Florida. Spurrier got a sick twisted pleasure flinging around the football against Tennessee. Those seeds were sewn during every completion that was caught by Green, Caldwell, Taylor, etc.

Peyton couldn’t beat Florida. True, but Fulmer couldn’t beat Florida either. Guess what??? It ain’t happening this year either. Florida has recently discovered that a running back can be more than an extra blocker for Tebow.

Georgia has owned UT since Richt got to Athens. Fulmer has owned Alabama, but the way things play out, not anymore with Satan coaching them.

The seeds of change have been sewn by all of the close losses over the years. Anyone remember the Notre Dame loss at Knoxville??? That game helped propel the legend of Brady Quinn, nevermind the blowout the next year in South Bend. Can’t forget Memphis in 1996 (I thought the Liberty Bowl would burn down after that one). What about the close wins versus Mississippi State, Vanderbilt, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Kentucky??? By and large, for the past 16 years, the dominant teams in the SEC have been (in no particular order) UT, LSU, Florida, Alabama, and Georgia. All of the other teams have decent years, but with all of the 1st and 2nd round draft picks that have played in Neyland Stadium, there is no way that Tennessee should have had blowout losses against few teams, much less Notre Dame a couple of years ago, Alabama last year, and Maryland in 2002 (Peach Bowl). Tennessee should have a lot better record for the past 16 years. Fulmer has more of a reputation of making Heisman Trophy candidates, like McGahee, Couch, McFadden, Grossman, etc.

My point is this: Fulmer has lived his time. Name another street after him. Name a luxury suite after him. Name Cell Block E of the Knoxville jail after him. But he needs to go. The past 6 years has shown that Mike Hamilton has been content for being good and not great. Pat Summitt is pretty much as untouchable as Smokey. Bruce Pearl has Tennessee basketball relevant and on a way upward trend. At this point, if Tennessee wins the national championship this year (quit laughing Thomas), I will still call for Fulmer’s job. I am fed up. I am sick of the goal line fumbles, the brilliance of Randy Sanders Dave Clawson’s play calling, the every other year of John Chavis having a good defense, the miscues on special teams, and the stubbornness of staying the course and “working like heck”. If a fan of another team makes fun of Fulmer being fat, whatever, he is. If another fan says “Man there is a lot of talent on the Vols. Why is the school happy to not play in BCS bowls??? What if Tressel had this speed??? Stoops himself couldn’t blow a Fiesta Bowl with your guy’s players.” It is sad, and I can’t take it anymore. Real change involves pink slips, and this Fulmer cat is out of lives. He can’t pull the “it is the coordinator’s fault” card. Eventually, you have to look at the man who hires the coordinator. The roots are grown, and harvest time is coming…

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, football, Football Poll, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, vols | Leave a Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume Whatever

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 3, 2008

This weeks Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted by our friends at Southeastern Sports Blog. Since football season has begun we are going to trimming the questions up which in all honesty makes since to me unlike the way I witnessed Tennessee play this past Monday night. With that said let’s go to the roundtable.

“Who/what were you most disappointed in at UCLA, and what is your greatest concern for this team going forward?”

That’s a loaded question if I have ever seen one.

I’m most disappointed in the coaching staff particularly in Fulmer and Clawson. The play calling when you’re on the road, you CANNOT play it safe in OT…….you’ve got to go for the throat!

As I stated before the choice to kick two field goals that were over 50 yards was horrid, especially the second one. We were pounding them with the running game and yet for reason we stopped and said let’s go for the pass.

Just where was this new offense at anyway? We are still running the same plays that we did when Sanders was the OC.

I’m not the only one who is thinking that GoVolsExtra has set up a frustration hotline and I’ve called five times it’s been busy every single time.

Now its possible Fulmer was overriding some of the calls Clawson was sending out. That being said the progression of Crompton is still nil. In fact he looked worse than he did two years ago against LSU.

Every play had him standing in the same position after the snap, no freaking wonder he was bothered most of the night.

I’m concerned about simply winning. Does this team have the talent? Yes! Does it have the coaching? Right now no!

The Mountain Messiah looked like a high school freshman playing last night. His mechanics were horrible and I’m forming the Colemanauts, which are an elite team of fans who want to see what “Huge Hands” Coleman can do. However if there is improvement over the next several weeks we will back off unlike the Cromptonites who never backed off when EA was the QB

I have no faith in “Fumbling” Foster either. I believe Hardesty should be the new starter until he gets injured which will happen.

Right now my greatest concern is nothing will change with the play calling, coaching or coaching staff. We should have won that game Monday night and we should have won big. Heck we made Clemson look good. (No offense Tiger fans)

Be sure to check out all the other Big Orange Roundtable members and their sites for their response to this weeks question.

Posted in Big Orange, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, Mountain Messiah, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume VIII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

Sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we’re going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I’m sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I’m sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely….no.

Phil making it rain....

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I’m going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I’m not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn’t win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I’m out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN “analyst”. Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz…when he’s not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the “Lou Lisp” makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he’s a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members’ blogs for their answers.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Cocks, Fuck Bama, Fulmer, Go Vols, Holtz, Lord Saban, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Friday Random Musings

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 22, 2008

Ah…the weekend is upon us and thank God, it’s been a rough week for me. Let’s get on with the musings.

First and foremost here are the members of the Big Orange Roundtable that have answered this weeks call & Fulmer has assembled a team of legal assassins to destroy the subpoena

China continues to impress the world by sentencing two women who are in their 70’s to “re-education through labor” this week for applying to hold a legal protest in a designated area in Beijing, where officials promised that Chinese could hold demonstrations during the Olympic Games. And here I thought that “re-education through labor” was just what happened to high school dropouts.

Scientific Daily performed a new study that should shock the world. The study confirms that drunk people and minors are served at sporting events. The next study will hopefully prove, once and for all, whether the rumored connection between fraternity membership and alcohol consumption is true or not.

Moondog Sports has written about the best stadiums on east coast, the midwest and the south and now the west coast.

LWS discusses Analysis and the Mgo Blog.

Randball writes about Brett Fa*** and his pack of lies

The View from the Hill wonders if we should believe the hype?

Strange but true things you probably didn’t know about the current top 25 college football teams

Posted in Bama Cheats, Fulmer, The Big Orange Roundtable, WTF | Leave a Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. V

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 4, 2008

This that time again, time too go to the roundtable First I want to thank LawVol at Gate 21 for making a seamless hand off. I also want to welcome the newest member of the roundtable: The View from the Hill.

This week is my turn to be king so I proclaim “Off with the heads of Bammers!” That being said let’s go to the questions.

1. One former VOL made the brave choice to testify against some Bammers and has to enter witness protection with a whole new identity, but that also gives him 4 more years of eligibility. Which VOL would you pick and why?

My choice is Albert Haynesworth. He would bigger and stronger than any of our opponents not mention he has a nasty mean streak in him. That mean streak would hold true to my decry of offing the heads of Bammers.  Except he would use his feet. His size and power would equal to at least 12 sacks alone.

2. Alabama has been given the death penalty and is forced to leave the SEC, at the same time South Carolina decides it can win a lot more in the Sunbelt conference and bolts the SEC. Two teams have to take their place who would you like to see take their place?

To replace South Carolina the obvious choice would be Clemson. I’ve been to many a Clemson game and there are “Bama-like” fanatics. The atmosphere is somewhat reminiscent of a SEC game. Plus an added advantage would be they have an excellent baseball program and an up & coming basketball program.  More competition breeds better teams for all.

To replace Alabama is a tougher tack though. In the past one could have said go with Southern Miss but that program is on the decline. There’s always UAB…but that wouldn’t work either.

My choice would be Texas. It could set a huge Third Saturday in October rivalry pitting burnt orange against Holy Orange. Plus it would make the rivalry it has with Arkansas back to a yearly affair.

Let’s not forget about the revenue both these teams would also bring to the SEC.

3. What will be the toughest road game to win and why?

I sent shock waves to some non-Roundtable Vols fans last week by predicting the beloved Tennessee Vols to lose to USC now let me explain why.

South Carolina’s most hated rival is Clemson but their most hated SEC rival is Tennessee with Georgia trailing in a very close third. South Carolina doesn’t hate the Vols because of some past traditional rivalry. They have no tradition. Their hated of us is due to self-hate and one thing. And that would be:

jeal·ousy (jeləs ē)

Noun

  1. the quality or condition of being jealous
  2. pl. -·ous·ies an instance of this; jealous feeling

Most Carolina fans hate USC but they love losers. They hate their football program for never stepping up and becoming a powerhouse no matter what conference they have been in. The fans in return transfer that hate to Tennessee. With Georgia they can say they have at least won a few by trading off victories and losses with the Bulldogs as time has passed however they can not do the same with Tennessee.

You might think I’m joking but I live in Columbia which is the heart of all Gamecock fans. I hear the snide comments before the games and the vicious comments after the game. These comments are not from people I know. Just yesterday I standing in the check-out line at Kroger and overheard one Gamecock fan say that if they beat Tennessee and Clemson this season but lose the rest it would be a great year. I wasn’t wearing anything that would identify me as being a Tennessee fan.

When a Gamecock fan “pleases” his or herself, they dream of defeating Tennessee at home only the finish with the money shot of them defeating Clemson. Lately that line of distinction between Tennessee & Clemson has drawn smaller in their eyes.

To make matters worse they hired the Evil Lying Steve God Spurrier who did lead the Gamecocks to a victory over Tennessee his first year. Granted that was also the same year the great Coach Fulmer has his first losing season ever. It was that victory that led these poor misguided fans to believe they have turned that mythical corner. Of course for the past 2 years Tennessee has prevailed.

Carolina started hot last year and then fizzled dramatically. If you ask the fans as to why they will most likely go back to the Tennessee loss. Their disdain for the Vols is almost as strong as Alabama’s hatred for Tennessee.

So this will be the toughest road game. Fulmer will have to deal with 80,000 or so Gamecock fans and looking across the field at the great Lying God Spurrier. This is the game that has turned Spurrier into a liar by allowing Garcia to come back even though he flatly stated he wouldn’t if he got into trouble one more time after keying that professor’s car. You can bet barring injury that Garcia will be starting against Tennessee not Smelly, not Beecher but the three time arrested in a fifteen month period Garcia.

If my beloved Vols win this game and I’m praying like crazy that they do, I will proudly go into work Monday dressed in orange and giving every Gamecock fan there a two finger salute, if you know what I mean.

4. Could have the great Coach Fulmer handled himself better at the SEC media event when he was asked about the subpoena instead of asking what subpoena?

Yes very much so. He could have something like”

“You see the BS I have to put up with? The rogue booster isn’t making my or the University of Tennessee football program  look bad, Instead they’re making Alabama look pitiful and they are making themselves look like some jilted lover.

It’s hard enough to be the dean of the SEC and I am 27 wins shy of sitting atop Tennessee’s all-time list, and there have been some pretty fair coaches along the way like General Neyland, Doug Dickey, Bill Battle and Johnny Majors.

I rank seventh all-time in wins among SEC coaches with 147; yet my salary ranks seventh among the current league coaches. Do you the media think I deserve this crap? Of course you don’t!

Never mind that my 1998 Tennessee team did not lose in 13 games and claimed the national championship. Never mind that the teams I’ve coached have won seven divisional titles and two SEC championships. Never mind that nine times my Tennessee teams have won at least 10 games in a season.

Instead you want to talk about some silly subpoena that I was served. We’re here to talk about football and by God that’s what I attend to do. Bitches!”

The Roundtable Membership

This concludes your kings’ questions for this week. Keep checking back here though because I’ll be linking to the other Big Orange Roundtablers for their responses to my questions as they themselves have answered them. As your king for this week I bid you a farewell. Remember: A good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team! GO VOS!

Posted in Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Fulmer, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Logan Young: Sacrificial Lamb

Posted by Little Bear Cub on March 31, 2008

300young_bryant_2751.jpg

Look at Mr. Young. He looks so peaceful, stoic, determined, and defiant. Damned all of the legal troubles, he is a true sacrifice for the institution that we call Alabama football. I love this pic of Mr. Young. Hanging on the wall behind him is God in houndstooth, Coach Bryant. I dare not call Mr. Young by his first name, because he is too important in the annals of Alabama football.

Some of us members of the now “Saban Nation” have distanced ourselves from Mr. Young. Not me. I fully embrace Mr. Young for his efforts to make sure that ‘Bama Ball keeps its rightful place among the top of college football. USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and Michigan football be damned. Alabama IS college football and the sacrifice that Mr. Young has made should be a shining example of giving up yourself for the greater good of Alabama football. RTR…

I am getting almost misty eyed writing this, but if I can get at least one of my fellow ‘Bama brethern to see the light, then I will gladly dehydrate by ocular extraction for the greater good. After all, Mr. Young gave the ultimate gift in the name of Alabama football, so a few lost tears won’t hurt.

Last December, before I made my winter hunting trip to Shreveport, I was in the Bass Pro Shop in Prattville looking for a brand new Benelli Super Nova w/ Steady Grip. This gun is perfect for hunting the native nutria in Shreveport. As I was holding the piece, a vision came upon me. As I made my purchase, I decided to name this particular gun Mr. Young. This gun would be used to pierce the hearts and heads of any prey that may come before me, just as Mr. Young used his incredible finances to ensure recruits land at Alabama. Anyway, after we set up our nutria blind in Shreveport, I got my gear on and loaded Mr. Young. As I laid down cabbage leaves in the nutria kill zone, I raced back to the blind until the first critter came out. I grabbed Mr. Young, saw the creature through my Bushnell scope, and squeezed the trigger. I caught that nutria right between the eyes. Mr. Young was accurate and deadly, just like the original. We ate plenty of nutria that night in December, along with some Golden Flake chips and a Coke, just like Bear did. The next night, we watched the Tide roll over those pagans from Colorado.

Mr. Young, you are gone, but this Little Bear Cub will never forget you or the sacrifice that you made for the University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, armed robbery, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, BCS, Bear is Dead, boosters, cheaters, College Football, Crimson Tide, Dead Drunk, DUI, ESPN, fire philip fulmer, Florida Sucks, football, Football Poll, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, killer, legal troubles, Logan Young, Mascots, mentally challenged, mobsters, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Nick Saban, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, Po Po, poker, Police, repo, retarded, Rips Media, Roll Tide, Saban, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »