Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘Grizzlies’ Category

This Is Why The Grizzlies Suck!!!

Posted by Joel on February 1, 2008

Ok, so I am a Grizzlies fan. I am proud to be a fan of my home town team. Memphis has been the “Susan Lucci” of pro sports cities for a long time, so when the Grizzlies moved in 2001, I was hooked instantly. The franchise has had some success since moving, making the playoffs twice. But when the team has been bad, it’s been horrible. I would hope those of you still reading this post (if you didn’t move on after reading this was a post about a sorry NBA franchise) would allow me to vent. After all, Thomas created this blog to show “how ALL sports teams suck”…

Today, the Grizzlies traded star forward Pau Gasol to the Los Angeles Lakers for (drumroll please) center Kwame Brown, guard Javaris Crittenton, guard Aaron McKie, the rights to Pau’s younger brother Marc, and first round picks in the 2008 and 2010 draft. According to reports, the Grizzlies traded an unhappy star while in his prime and got cap relief in the process.

Let me translate what the Grizzlies got in return: the poster child of broken confidence and draft busts (Brown), another guard that they did not need (Crittenton), a guard who is old and on the inactive list (McKie), Gasol’s younger brother (who couldn’t even do squat against private school competition while going to school in Memphis), and 2 draft picks with a franchise that has been more miss than hit when it comes to draft picks. What the hell??? The Grizz might as well have just asked the Lakers for some bags of rice with all the magic beans they just got from LA. The team has been shopping Gasol for a while now and was rumored to go to the Bulls for a few actually good players (Gordon, Deng) but the best we could get back was Kwame Brown??? I think Woody Paige would have been a better fit for the team’s up tempo style, plus he is just as much of a stiff as Kwame Brown.

This is a franchise that doesn’t know what the hell they are doing right now. It is at best no more of an unmitigated disaster than post WWII Dresden. The team plays in a brand new arena with decent sight lines, you can get a $5 ticket to watch a game, and yet the team struggles to draw 10,000. When did the team become the Atlanta Hawks???

So what now??? I say they trade guard Mike Miller, build around Rudy Gay and Mike Conley and go from there. I am calling for owner Mike Heisley to sell the franchise to someone locally who will give a damn about the team. The team cannot relocate because of a city-franchise agreement, so sell to FedEx Founder/CEO Fred Smith, rename the team the Express or something related to package delivery, and call it a day. Or they could name the team the Bullets, since there’s millions of those flying around the city (though the Wizards may have an issue with that). The point being is that crap rolls downhill, and even though I said in the About the Wirters section that there are 547 Grizzlies fans worldwide, at this rate by this season’s end there will be 329. I will still be one, if only because my blood pressure is already high enough, so what the hell would a few more points matter???

As for what to do with the Pau Gasol jersey that I bought a few years ago (caught it on sale from Marshall’s when the NBA switched from Reebok to adidas apparel), I do have a solution, because we are a solutions-oriented blog:

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*Disclaimer: My dog Jake were harmed in any way for the making of this post. This is not Bad Newz Kennels in VA and am not in any way, shape, or form connected with Michael “Ookie” Vick, his child molesting little brother Marcus, or any other dog fighting members of the Vick family…

Posted in stupid, NBA, ESPN, bad newz kennels, satire, basketball, armed robbery, cat killer, ass chewing, bad calls, boosters, trader, scandal, boo birds, Hawks, Grizzlies, Kobe, Lakers, classless, dumbass, crazy, Internet Rumors, Ass Whipping, team spirit | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

YMSWCC’S NBA (It’s Gambling Fan-Tastic) Season Preview

Posted by Joel on October 28, 2007

It’s me, Joel, for better or worse, posting about the NBA. Volunteer football depresses me and since Thomas is about to celebrate a Red Sox World Series ring, I’m posting about something that’s not long and drawn out, the NBA season!!! Yes that’s right, a league that is full of gamblers (refs), adulterers and snitches (Kobe), bloggers (Gilbert), best point guard who happens to not be American (Nash), Hasselhoff loving German (Dirk), guy who brags about not snitching (Carmelo), Frenchman married to an overexposed former Y&R actress (Parker), and owners who get more young ass than the toilets at The Clevelander on South Beach (Dr. Buss and Mickey Arison). The NBA, I LOVE this game!!!

This preview is fluid, to use the words of Herbal Essence spokesman Mel Kiper, Jr. What this means is that my “expert” (ok, I had to laugh at that one myself) analysis will change if/when Kobe Bryant is traded. I still believe that San Antonio will win the title this year, as hard as that was to type, but the path to them winning it all will change as the contenders will change. Can one player change the way I look at how the rest of the league will fare??? When that one player is Kobe Bryant, like him or not off the court, on the court he is amazing, and maybe the closest thing to #23 (whom I refer to as Jesus in a pair of Nikes) that we will see for a while…

Atlantic Division (in order of finish):
1. Boston
2. Toronto
3. New Jersey
4. New York
5. Philadelphia

I really like the move that former Celts Ainge and McHale engineered to bring Boston back to greatness. It was as smooth as the pick and roll game these two execs used to run when they were players. Garnett is a motor guy who has some help. Rajon Rondo needs to grow up quick at the point but Boston should have no problem winning the division.

Toronto will still make the playoffs but I am anxious to see how the young guys develop. New Jersey should be ok but they are not a title contender at this point. The Knicks have traded for a ball hogging post player to go along side another ball hogging post player to go along with a ball hogging 1 and 2 guard, with more ball hogs off the bench. I do like Renaldo Balkman and Wilson Chandler. Philly is a mess…

Central Division:
1. Chicago
2. Detroit
3. Cleveland
4. Milwaukee
5. Indiana

Chicago has all the pieces to make a run this year. If they can get Kobe without giving up the store, they could go to the Finals. What the hell has happened to Detroit??? They should be dominating the East in the regular season AND in the playoffs. LeBron still has no help in Cleveland. Imagine if he was in Chicago instead of Gordon or Deng??? Milwaukee should be interesting with Yi and his adjustment to the NBA. Hope he likes the taste of elbows while in the paint. Indiana has some good young players mixed in with Troy Murphy and Mike Dunleavy. Golden State got over on them…

Southeast Division:
1. Washington
2. Orlando
3. Miami
4. Charlotte
5. Atlanta

Washington needs a little more help off the bench, but Gilbert Arenas sure is fun (aka another players the damn Grizzlies could have drafted). Orlando should continue to make strides with Rashard Lewis. I would not be surprised if they won the division. Miami is getting older, shame with D-Wade still in his prime. Charlotte got a deal with Jason Richardson. He really emerged last year in the playoffs. They are probably 1 year away. Atlanta on the other hand is still several years away. Stop me if you haven’t heard that before.

Southwest Division:
1. San Antonio
2. Dallas
3. Houston
4. Memphis
5. New Orleans

This will be a very competitive division. Spurs will win, but any of these teams could be second. Dallas is #2 by default. I am anxious to see how Steve Francis will adjust to a new role. Yao will get posterized by the 15th game of the season. My Grizzlies still needs a low post rebounder. I am not sold on Darko. New Orleans could win big too. The Paul/West combo will be big.

Northwest Division:
1. Denver
2. Utah
3. Portland
4. Seattle
5. Minnesota

A.I and Melo together after a full pre-season should help out a lot as far as chemistry with the Nuggets. Utah will go as far as Williams will take them. Portland will be much improved, but losing Oden for the year will obviously hurt. The theme for Seattle this year should be “And a Child Shall Lead Them…to Oklahoma City”. Quick. Name me 5 players for Minnesota without looking it up on the web. Thought you couldn’t.

Pacific Division:
1. Phoenix
2. Golden State
3. Los Angeles
4. Los Angeles
5. Sacramento

Phoenix still needs a back up point guard and to use their bench more. This way they can be fresher for the playoff run. Golden State will be hurt a little without Jason Richardson, but Monta Ellis should make up for some loss of production. Keyword is SHOULD. Notice I didn’t separate the 2 LA teams. Doesn’t matter, they won’t do much this year anyway. Coaching will be a problem in Sac Town. I don’t know what kind of style Reggie Theus will run. He didn’t show us much when he was coaching in that NBC show “Hang Time”.

The one big question I have for this year, well 2 questions, is how will the league recover from gambling??? The words “one rogue official” has done nothing to satisfy me because of recent revelations that half of the league’s refs broke a gambling rule or 2. My next big question is how long until Madison Square Garden patrons begin the “Fire Isiah” chants??? Well they have started, but how long until people stop showing up and Spike Lee starts wearing a bag on his head???


Spike Lee predicting the Knicks up coming season

Posted in 76'ers, Anucha Browne Sanders, bad calls, basketball, Bobcats, boo birds, Bulls, Cavs, Celtics, Clippers, DAvid Stern, Detroit Pistons, gambling, Grizzlies, Hawks, Heat, Hornets, Isiah Thomas, Jazz, Kings, Kobe, Lakers, Magic, Mavs, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA, Nets, New York Knicks, Nuggets, Pacers, raptors, refs, Rockets, Sexual-Harassment Case, Spurs, Suns, SuperSonics, Trail Blazers, Warriors, Wizards | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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