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Archive for the ‘Isiah Thomas’ Category

Isiah Thomas is employed again no really he is

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 15, 2009

In a state known more for hurricanes, mullets and jorts comes one man to turn the college basketball scene upside down and that is Isiah Thomas. 

Now history tells us that Isiah Thomas as a coach is well…dreadful but that was at the pro level. There is no telling what he will or can do at a college level. However I believe that Thomas’ qualifications to coach a college team are nil. 

Let’s run review his qualifications and I’ll you decide: 

  • 30 years ago he played 2 years for Bobby Knight
  • He took a conference champion to a .500 record and three straight first-round playoff defeats. 
  • He bankrupted the entire ABA league.
  • He ruined the New York Knicks who at the time was a historically proud NBA franchise. 

Those things alone should bring fear to any athlete director but then there are these things that took place when he was in charge of the Knicks to consider: 

  • An $11 million sexual harassment suit
  • Accusations of racism
  • Stephan Marbury
  • OD’ing on sleeping pills to only blame the daughter
  • He’s an asshole 

It would be hard for Florida International not to get better considering their record this past season and the antics of Thomas’ past might even land them some games on ESPN but did they sell their soul in order to obtain Thomas? We see what a disaster he was at the Knicks so you should wonder if he is even capable at reading an NCAA rulebook. However you can look at it like this: If Isiah can find another job; the economy must finally be on the mend. 

Rumor has it that the students have already petitioned to change the school’s abbreviation:

Fuck.

Isiah?

Uuuuuuugggggggh. 

In a related story, Flip Saunders has agreed to coach the Wizards. 

This is the man that FIU should have hired!

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Posted in Bob Knight, Florida International University, Isiah Thomas, jorts, Kige Ramsey, NBA, NCAA Basketball, NCAA Rules Violation, New York Knicks, scandal, Sexual-Harassment Case, suicide attempt, zeke | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

What a shocker. Calipari tricks everyone and says the grass isn’t greener in Kentucky after all!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 1, 2009

calipari

In a shocking turn of events it appears that John Calipari is not headed to Kentucky after all. Apparently ESPN who has popularized erroneous reporting in the past strikes again! However Calipari is indeed leaving Memphis but instead of selling his soul to Kentucky he has elected to save his soul by coaching the Nu Delt Society at Bob Jones University.

Bob Jones University (BJU) is a private, Protestant fundamentalist, liberal arts university in Greenville, South Carolina. It is the largest private liberal arts university in South Carolina and has a reputation for being one of the most conservative of religious schools in the United States.

Strict rules govern student life at BJU.  Some of these are based directly on the University’s interpretation of the Bible. For instance, rules include the requirement that freshman and sophomore resident hall students sign out before leaving campus and that all resident hall students abide by curfew. Students are forbidden to go to movie theaters or listen to contemporary popular music.  Men are required to wear ties and conservative hairstyles, and facial hair is prohibited. Women are expected to dress modestly and wear knee-length dresses to class and religious services.

The specifics of the BJU contract is unknown at this time however it’s doubtful that it will match the Kentucky contract that was believed to be the richest in college basketball. Sources close to the situation believe that L.A. Law (1993-94) character Jane Halliday, played by Alexandra Powers, who was a graduate of Bob Jones University was the turning point in Calipari’s decision.

Even though that Bob Jones Jr. once said that Catholicism was:

“Not another Christian denomination. It is a satanic counterfeit, an ecclesiastic tyranny over the souls of men….It is the old harlot of the book of the Revelation-‘the Mother of Harlots.'”

He seems ecstatic to have made this monumental hire.

Despite their perceived differences, Pitino has little doubt Calipari will be a great fit at BJU.

“He’s done a great job at UMass. He’s done a great job at Memphis and he would have done a great job at Kentucky but the Phi Beta society at BJU better watch their watch ass cause he’s bringing the pain to them next season,” Pitino said Tuesday.

This most recent move leaves both Memphis and Kentucky scrambling for coaches. It’s believed that Memphis will make a run at famed NBA player and ex-Knicks coach Isiah Thomas and while Kentucky is believed to be making plans to resurrect the body of Adolph Rupp.

Kentucky AD, Mitch Barnhart was quoted as saying:

“Enough with the tomfoolery! Bring out the Rupp!”

ESPN 100 top recruit Xavier Henry isn’t going to Memphis now that Calipari is going to BJU. He has reopened his recruitment but a source close to him said:

“He might go to BJU. He likes God and shit.”

Either which way let’s hope this works out for everyone in the end. Happy April Fools Day!

Posted in Adolph Rupp, Isiah Thomas, John Calipari, Kentucky Wildcats, Memphis Tigers, Rick Pitino, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Can Isiah Thomas’ life get any worse?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 16, 2009

knicks_preview_335

The answer is yes, yes it can! After running the Knicks into the ground and attempting suicide (only to attempt and blame it on your daughter) one would think his life really can’t get any worse than right now or nothing could embarrass him any worse than that little sexual harassment case. Oh how one can be so mistaken.

There really isn’t an easy way to put this so I’ll just say it.

The brother of Isiah Thomas, Preston, showed his love for God by peeing on a church. I don’t think either God or the nice police officer than arrested him was amused.

“Thomas, 52, of 279 Columbine Drive, Clarendon Hills, was arrested at 9:15 a.m. Jan. 8 at Notre Dame Parish, 64 Norfolk Ave. He was charged with public urination.

Thomas was seen urinating near the church building by a passing motorist, as well as a teacher and student at Notre Dame School. He later was arrested at Golf and Chicago avenues.”

Subsequently, Preston Thomas blamed the urinating incident on his daughter.

I know many of you are reading that and thinking “Notre Dame and Penis? Is this a Brady Quinn joke?” Nope it’s not.

Sly Stallone is thankful that Frank Stallone would never pee on a church.

Remember that classic skit about R. Kelly?

♪ Haters wanna hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I don’t even want,
None of the above,
I want to piss on you.
Yes, I do, I’ll piss on you,
I’ll pee on you. ♪

Honestly hasn’t peed on a church in a drunken stupor before?Wait, he was arrested at 9:15 AM on a Thursday…

Posted in Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks, Urination | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Since Eddy Curry is a NBA failure maybe he’s a better gay sexual harasser

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 14, 2009

Even though Isiah Thomas is no longer with the Knicks per say, I believe his presence is still being felt by the team. After a year of Isiah Thomas drama the Knicks have a new scandal to deal with and this one is outrageous and incredible one can only attribute it to Isiah Thomas.

Eddy Curry will down in the history of the NBA as a flop, but today he is somewhat a news maker because his former chauffeur, David Kuchinsky, is accusing Curry of unimaginable acts that make Curry sound disturbingly gay with a penchant for firearms.

  • Curry repeatedly approached him in the nude allegedly telling him, “Look at me, Dave, look” and “Come and touch it, Dave.”
  • When Kuchinsky balked at some of these tasks, he claims he was verbally assaulted by Curry, including being called, “fucking Jew,” “cracker,” “white slave,” “white devil” and “grandmaster of the KKK.”
  • Making Kuchinsky perform humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them.
  • Curry also pointed a “fully loaded” gun at the chauffeur on two separate occasions to stop him from whining about his treatment, allegedly telling Kuchisnky, “Look, I have one in the chamber.”

Kuchinsky also says Curry owes him $68,000 in unpaid wages, and $25,000 in expenses.

First off Brady Quinn has volunteered to head an extensive undercover investigation into Mr. Kuchinsky’s claims and honestly where was this man when I was a teenager? He could have disposed of my ejaculate covered towels.

Curry states that the allegations were “absolutely false; just incredible” and “Everyone who knows me knows I’m not a racist. I guess it’s just a prime example of you just got to watch who you have around you,” Curry said, “because this is a guy who I really thought he was my friend.”

Wait a minute…Curry’s first reaction to this whole thing is “Everyone who knows me knows I’m not a racist??”

Personally, mine would have been “I don’t believe I’ve ever dangled my willy in front of another man’s face,” but hey, to each his own.

Currys accuser

Curry's accuser

By looking at Curry today he really should start harassing a salad bar so I’m surprised Eddy Curry would even have the motivation to masturbate. Remember when people were calling him Baby Shaq? That draft of 2001 was sorry and he was picked 4th overall & as of late he has had a problem finding playing time.

I admit that I believe Curry’s story and besides his accuser looks like he is wearing the Men’s Wearhouse “homosexual blackmail” line of suit.

Best comment so far about the incident? Shaq from his Twitter:

“Nypost.com about eddy curry wow, i gotta go to bed on this one, geez.”

When asked for comment, the driver had no clear answer as to whether Eddy Curry was more Santonio Holmes or Chris Cooley.

Just to play devils advocate while continuing to make fun of the situation, let’s say this turns out to be all true. If so how much complaining should a convicted felon do? Really? Shouldn’t he have been happy he had a job that paid more than nothing? And, is this really the worst this guy has seen, did he spend any time in jail at all, that has to be worse than being Curry’s driver, right? At least Curry was nice enough to ask for sex instead of just sneaking up from behind.

Posted in Eddy Curry, Isiah Thomas, NBA, NBA Draft, New York Knicks | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

When (sports) parents go over the top

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 30, 2008

This posting will be a semi-funny/semi-serious posting. I’m going to look at three very different situations of when parents of athletes or if the parent is an athlete, go really over the top.

The first case is Tye Burke

Tye is an above average soccer dad. His daughter plays soccer so being a good dad he attends all the games. He also is teaching his little one how to treat other people with respect and keeping your cool. That is if you consider pointing a loaded gun at the head of the soccer coach’s husband respectful and keeping cool.

Investigators tell NewsChannel 11 that Burke got into a fight with the female coach of his child’s soccer team. The soccer association tells us the children playing at the time were between seven and eight years old. Apparently, the coach’s husband tried to stop Burke from yelling at his wife, and that’s when the two men got into an argument in the stands. The police report states that the victim pushed Burke, and then Burke pulled a handgun and pointed it at the victim’s head. Police say an off-duty prison guard tackled Burke, and got the gun away from him.

Just because you have a permit to carry a concealed weapon doesn’t mean you take it to a child’s soccer game. Only in Texas would a parent show up being heavily armed. Maybe he is just trying to compensate for being too much of a wimp to let his kid play youth football.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in BYU, Chicago Bears, classless, Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks, suicide attempt, zeke | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Charles Barkley makes fun of Isiah Thomas and his suicide attempt

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 29, 2008

The round mound of rebound and potential 2014 gubernatorial nominee for the state of Alabama, Sir Charles Barkley, beat me to the punch in making fun of the suicide attempt of Isiah Thomas. Damn my work schedule.

Sir Charles while commenting on the state of the once great Knicks franchise made this remark:

In discussing ways in which the Knicks should be improved this season, Barkley said, “I think they have a better coach. This coach probably won’t try to kill himself.”

Barkley, usually not one to shy from potentially insensitive remarks, seemed to sense his attempt at humor had crossed a line. “That’s my fault,” he said.

Well the odds of attempted suicide go up astronomically with each year when one chooses to coach the Knicks, so I wouldn’t count my Kurt Cobains before they hatch.

In all honesty I don’t believe Barkley meant to make that quip. Charles is now my role model, whether he likes it or not.

I’m betting D’Antoni was watching the presser and slowly put the bottle down and put the pills down and for the first time in a month looked into the mirror and sobbed.

I guess that Charles still needs to figure out the old Tragedy +Time=Comedy equation a little sooner.

Charles for Governor!

Posted in Charles Barkley, dumbass, Isiah Thomas, suicide, TNT | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Random Musings for Thursday

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 7, 2008

Those Big Orange Roundtable members that have answered this weeks questions are:

Losers With Socks give us more insight on the Cromptonites.

Moondog explains how Fox might be exploiting bloggers.

That’s not dangerous pollution it’s only a mist. God these Olympics will suck.

Which would suck worse? Being Bernie Kosar or owing over $200K in back taxes? It’s a trick question try both!

St. Rams and Tennessee Titans are already fighting and it’s only preseason. Sweet

Brett Fa*** is traded to the Jets. They still will suck but at least maybe this nightmare will be over with.

Knicks owner James Dolan is in a band. Who knew? Let’s hope they better than the coaching of Isiah Thomas. He has taken out Google Ads to you know spread the word.

Well what do you know. Ozzie Guillen really does answer his e-mail. Sweet…I’m mail bombing him.

Posted in Brett Favre, cromptonites, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, New York Jets, New York Knicks, Ozzie Guillen, The Big Orange Roundtable, The Olympics | Leave a Comment »

I Declare This Franchise is Isiah Thomas Free!!! (Sort of)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 19, 2008

The rain stops. The clouds clear. A small beam of sunlight shines upon the Garden once again. At long last, Isiah Thomas is out as head coach of the New York Knicks. Finally, it was like watching a wounded animal.

In one of the most heavily expected firings in NBA history, incoming Knicks president Donnie Walsh announced late today he was firing that half-brained twit relieving Thomas of his coaching duties. But Thomas, still owed $18 million after receiving a long-term contract extension 13 months ago because Dolan is either an idiot or on some heavy drugs, will remain in the organization with no official title.

Basically Thomas will have to work for his $$$. He could be the unofficial janitor or the unofficial Walsh ball licker. The possibilities are endless, but it’s a mistake. Thomas is like a franchise cancer…

“I think Isiah remaining part of the franchise is good for the organization,” Walsh said on a conference call with reporters. “I value Isiah’s knowledge of the game and his opinions, so I will use him as a resource. Isiah will be reporting to me. There will be nobody reporting to Isiah.”

Heh. Anyone else see a Gimp suit in Isiah’s future?

Donnie Walsh: “Bring out Isiah.”
Jimmy Dolan: “But Isiah’s sleeping’.”
Donnie Walsh: “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to go wake him up now, won’t you?”

If he has meaningful input he should have been giving it since the start of the season and maybe he would still be the coach. If the Knicks are truly returning to sanity, Marbury and Randolph are on the next train out.

The Knicks finished 23-59, matching the franchise record for losses, in their seventh straight losing season.

“I can’t tell you really where we failed,” Walsh said. “The bottom line is we haven’t won, and the team didn’t look like it was motivated to try to win.”

Uhhh let’s see..this season alone, Thomas was found to have sexually harassed a former team employee, feuded with point guard Stephon Marbury and benched center Eddy Curry — the players Thomas acquired in the two biggest of a number of moves that never panned out. And to reiterate that’s this season alone.

“Obviously, when you’re losing, there has to be a culture change,” he said. “There’s no easy answer. … We’ve got to work 24-7 to become competitive.”

And Thomas will be a part of that. Why I don’t know…

“I feel like some of the bigger events that happened on the way with Isiah overshadowed some of the good things” that he accomplished, Walsh said.

“I will be in touch with Isiah a lot,” he said.

Every day at lunch. “Isiah, where’s my calzone? I smell calzone. Isiah?!”

Wow…the architect of some of the worst trades in NBA history? A sexual harassment scandal? Amazing….that they still want to keep him a part of the organization. I don’t understand how an organization in New York could tolerate so much from a guy, and yet keep him for janitorial duties. I mean it boggles the mind that he held both GM and coaching positions at the same time.

Help me decide what to do with Thomas if I had to keep him, what would be the end result?

a. Isaiah gets to section A-5 but brings a broom and a dustpan
b. Isaiah brings a mop and bucket, but to section c-6
c. Isaiah brings broom and dustpan to section c-6

Chants of “Fire Isiah!” sometimes started minutes after home games, and even Dolan’s strong relationship with Thomas couldn’t convince people the coach would last.

Posted in Anucha Browne Sanders, boo birds, fired, Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Isiah Thomas Acts as if He’s Done Nothing Wrong…What a Dork

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 17, 2008

Knicks president Donnie Walsh won’t make any decision on Isiah Thomas until at least Thursday, saying he wants to sleep on his thoughts about the team’s future before “rushing” into a decision. Basically that means he’s figuring out the proper wording to embarrass Thomas the way Thomas’ coaching skills (or lack thereof) have embarrassed the Knicks.

Walsh repeatedly deflected questions about Thomas’s fate Wednesday night, less than an hour before New York faced his former team, Indiana, in its season finale. Walsh still has not set a timetable for an announcement.

“I’m thinking all that out, being coach, whether it’s another role, and when I come to a final decision I’ll announce it,” Walsh said in the same building he called home just a month ago. “You know, these are people’s lives we’re dealing with and I’ve always treated it that way. So I think it deserves to be given that kind of dignity and respect.”

Hours before Walsh spoke, Thomas sounded like a man resigned to his fate. A man who knows his goose is cooked and since he ruined the CBA league, even that can’t save him now.

With rampant speculation about whether he’d return for a another failing season as Knicks coach, a subdued Thomas spoke philosophically about New York’s dismal season. He acknowledged it’s been one of the most challenging experiences he’s ever had in basketball and defended the job he did as both president, before Walsh arrived, and as coach.

Yes readers he defended his horrendous overall record and his asinine skills that somehow landed him a general managers position.

“What I’ve been asked to do and required to do by the Knicks, I’ve tried to perform to the best of my ability,” Thomas said before the team’s pregame shootaround. “This is a very disappointing season. I’m not used to being at the bottom. But this is what it’s like on the bottom, and this is how you get treated on the bottom. That’s how it is.”

Isiah you were asked to win games by the Knicks that hasn’t happened and if this is the best of ability then try another line of work. McDonalds is always hiring. So quit the Socrates act and step down like a man.

While the Knicks have endured seven straight losing seasons, none have compared with the turmoil of this one.

Thomas and guard Stephon Marbury engaged in a public feud that sent the season spiraling out of control after only five games. Marbury left the team in Phoenix after Thomas threatened to remove him from the starting lineup, and the Knicks lost their next six games.

Marbury was only part of the problem.

Thomas also had disagreements on the bench during games with Quentin Richardson and Zach Randolph, and his decision to replace center Eddy Curry in the starting lineup led to a loss of Curry’s confidence and a regression in his play.

“It’s hard not to take all that into consideration, because that’s the image of your franchise, but I don’t put that above doing the right thing,” Walsh said. “Obviously, some things have been much publicized and I’ve not gotten into those things. But it also overshadowed a lot of things he did that were very good for the New York Knicks.”

And even players are bracing for the expected offseason moves.

“We know that when the season winds down, there are going to be changes,” forward Jared Jeffries said, “because whenever you have a season as turbulent as we have, there are going to be changes.”

Only nine players dressed for the Knicks after their latest round of injuries. Travis Henry has nine kids alone. Backup forward Renaldo Balkman (USC dud) sat out after getting hurt in Monday night’s home finale against Boston, and forward Wilson Chandler sat out with a sprained left knee.

“I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that,” Thomas said. “That’s sports, and basketball has been extremely good to me. You can’t be on top all the time, although I want to be. You’ve got to overcome the bad times and hold onto your dignity.”

To bad you won’t be able to hold on to your job.

“In basketball, just like in football or golf or baseball or whatever sport you choose, there are some times you get it right and some times you don’t,” he said. “I’ve had many high points in my life, and I’ve definitely had my low points. But none of it is permanent, and you keep moving forward.”

Not permanent? A church league team wouldn’t touch right now or next year or the year after or year after…

Posted in Isiah Thomas, New York Knicks, Stephon Marbury, zeke | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

This weeks Isiah Thomas sucks Post

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 30, 2008

Things aren’t really getting better for Isiah Thomas. It seems that his son Joshua “I’m a fuck up like dad except with less talent” Thomas was arrested recently by Bloomington Indiana police, for disorderly conduct and drinking alcohol while still being a minor.

The kicker is he was arrested after the Po Po had taken him to a local hospital to treat a swollen eye. Apparently someone in the bar hit him with a bottle or their fist. I wonder if that person was a New York Knicks fan. Oh wait never mind if they were then he would have been kidnapped and held until Thomas resigned.

When that day happens I’ll be ready to take over for Thomas. Here’s a detailed list of things I would do to make the Knicks a winning franchise again.

  1. Dangle Stephon Marbury off the Brooklyn Bridge, while asking him if he is ready to become a team player yet.
  2. Hire about 40,000 new fans.
  3. Show Eddie Curry tough love by ridiculing him for not going to college.
  4. Add Jason Kidd, Gilbert Arenas, Chauncey Billups & Steve Nash to the roster hoping to lure Tim Hardaway out of retirement.
  5. To promote team building exercises by having the team attack & disfigure James Dolan.
  6. Remind the players that every cog in the Knicks Franchise is important while they’re washing and waxing my car.
  7. Knowing what this team needs most is security and confidence that only a Hall of Fame coach can provide, try to re-hire Larry Brown.

Posted in boo birds, dumbass, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, NBA, New York Knicks, Stephon Marbury | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »