Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘John Daly’ Category

John Daly proves he fails at driving

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 23, 2009

Now that John Daly is back in the PGA things just do not get any easier for him. Daly’s sex apparel tour bus is still trucking albeit it’s not as tall as before since he knocked off the top going through a low-clearance tunnel.   

Daly was driving through the Bankhead Tunnel in Mobile, Alabama when his “I wish I was 70’s Star Wars Van” bus didn’t clear the 12-foot tunnel. The tunnel tore off the fans and awnings off the bus which landed on a passing Cadillac. Clearly the lesson here is don’t go to Alabama! Knocking off the top is how they say “we don’t like your kind” on Alabamese. 

“According to the traffic accident report from the Mobile Police Department, Daly was traveling eastbound toward the tunnel. A sign warns that the tunnel entrance is just 12 feet high, and dangling chains determine if a vehicle is too tall. 

In his witness report, Jimmy Roberson of Mobile was just exiting the tunnel when the fan and awnings on top of Daly’s RV crashed into his 1998 Cadillac DeVille. Roberson’s windshield, roof and trunk were damaged in the 2:32 p.m. accident, according to the police report.” 

To be fair, Daly claims those mystic chains were not in place when the incident happened and the police told him that this sort of thing happens to all the alcoholic RV driving golfers all the time. 

I find this hard to believe. Since when is John Daly awake and sober at 2:30 in the afternoon? 

Daly also doesn’t believe these alleged “head & necks” injuries either. 

funny just read now the guy has Neck and Shoulder injuries?? From what??? something hitting his trunk?!   

Why not? It happened to Brett Favre. 

Thanks to Twitter insurance fraud might actually see a decline.

Advertisements

Posted in Alabama, drunk, John Daly, PGA | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The “Real” Winner of The Masters was…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 14, 2009

Sure Angel Cabrera technically won The Masters and get to wear one of the ugliest green jackets known to man however the real winner was John Daly. 

So what if the fascist good time hating overlords that make up the PGA suspended Daly for six months because of a little “misunderstanding” due to the many Jager bombs with beer chasers that Daly so much enjoys. That doesn’t stop him from turning a profit though did it? 

What you can't see are the 8 empty beer cans and crushed marlboro packs near his bucket of golf balls...

Daly was selling his clothing line just outside the gates of Augusta National. I mean look at the photo above. It was taken during the 2006 Masters and what red blooded man wouldn’t want to look like that? 

From the John Daly Apparel site

Comfort is the key ingredient in John Daly Apparel. Most items carrying the “Daly Comfort Wear” tag are made from Technical Performance fabrics that are moisture wicking, deodorizing and provide SPF protection. There are also some very high-end cotton and extraordinary specialty lifestyle shirts. 

Free 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best with purchase and sizes range from XXL to Charlie Weis. Do they have replicas of all his orange jumpsuits with actual inmate numbers? That would be pretty solid.

Hey the man did have John Gruden as his caddie once…how many of us can say that? Of course how many people can claim (or at least want to claim) that they were found passed out drunk in a Hooters parking lot? Wait that was me in middle school, bad example. 

The real question is which bus has more wing bones lying around: Daly’s or the Madden Cruiser?

Posted in Hooters, Jager bomb, John Daly, PGA, The Masters | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays the Halloween edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

Broken plays are a collection of stories and links I wanted to write about it but could not find the time to do so.

Check out what the guys over at the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober are doing on All Hallow’s Eve SEC Style.

Scot Pollard posing with a fan showing off his Boston Celtic championship ring. God knows what would have the Celtics done if it wasn’t for the three whole minutes that Pollard played in the series against the Lakers. He reminds me of a balding Latino version of Morrissey.

Speaking of the Celtics, apparently ESPN doesn’t like Bill Walker. Here is a screen grab of Bill Walker’s profile page on ESPN’s site. Unfortunately for them it has that comment about him being a dick under local news in bold letters for all to see. It’s since been corrected.

Mike Hartline is a little upset about being benched as the starting QB for Kentucky.

“I’m disappointed. It stinks …You don’t ever expect to win the starting job and then lose it because the guys around you aren’t performing the way they should … The worst part about it, to me, is there was nothing that I could have done to get better on the practice field to change that decision. We’re not productive at other places. We’ve got to do something.”

College athletes need to learn two words: no comment. How hard is that? It’s not like they’re going to get fined for not talking to the media.

Let’s all take a moment to admire Colt McCoy’s girlfriend. She is the one on the left.

John Daly gets picked up at Hooters around 2:17 AM…gee I wonder why. Long John is straight thuggin’ with the popped collar orange jump suit. Then again he looks the same as he does when he steps up to the 1st Tee.

Here is yet another hilarious video Texas A&M video via the Aggie Report.

Posted in Boston Celtics, drunk, John Daly, Kentucky Wildcats, Texas A&M | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »