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Playoffs?!?! Playoffs?!?! You’re asking what our NFL playoff picks are?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009

Yes it’s time for our NFL playoff picks. Let’s all hope they are more accurate than some of our college bowl picks….

Atlanta at Arizona

  • Joel says: In the Battle of the Pigeons, I like Atlanta. *No dogs were harmed in the making of this pick*
  • Thomas says: As much as I like what Atlanta was able to accomplish this year, but I think Arizona will get back to their winning ways.

Indianapolis at San Diego

  • Joel says: Indy but in a close game. The Colts are rolling now.
  • Thomas says: I love the Colts in this as well.

Baltimore at Miami

  • Joel says: Ray Lewis and his merry band of thugs will be a cut above the Dolphins.
  • Thomas says: Chad Pennington will continue to taunt fans of the Jets by leading the Fins to their first playoff victory in years.

Philadelphia at Minnesota

  • Joel says: Fly Eagles Fly, on the road to victory…
  • Thomas says: Even though the Eagles are coming off a fresh ass-raping of the Cowboys and their fans are scary at times…I believe Minnesota will prevail and the ramblings of getting rid of Andy Reid will be reborn.

Posted in Andy Reid, Arizona Cardinals, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Indiana Hoosiers, Indy Colts, miami dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, NFL Football, Philadelphia Eagles, San Diego Chargers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Have you ever orchestrated a ten game turn-around…ON WEED?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 31, 2008

Ricky Williams didn’t like my Christmas gift I got for him this year. That bastard! You know I decided to get Ricky a gift this year because he has been an outstanding player this year and to help celebrate the Fins incredible turn around, only to have it returned to me with a note saying “Not funny dude.”

Maybe this will help Trent Green forget all about those concussions.

What if, like, the dolphin’s helmet had another dolphin wearing a helmet…and that dolphin’s helmet had a dolphin wearing a helmet…and so on, and so on. Man, I feel so insignificant.

It’s funny, I don’t remember using that bong and yet I have visions of hearing “Chad Pennington” and “NFL MVP” in the same sentence, and not as a joke.

Posted in bongs, Chad Pennington, drugs, Marijuana, mary jane, miami dolphins, NFL Football, pot, Ricky Williams | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

And now a look at the AFC teams after week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 16, 2008

AFC East:

  • New England Patriots: No Brady no problem. Cassel the backup to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart while at SoCal takes the reigns and leads his team to 2-0. Hey Matt how does feel being benched knowing your backup who never played a college game is undefeated? Maybe this is your career highlight:

  • Buffalo Bills: Looking good guys. They were on the cusp all last year so they aren’t a fluke.
  • New York Jets: Couldn’t beat New England even though they have Brett Fa*** and New England was Brady’less. Welcome to the AFC Brett.
  • Miami Dolphins: Much improved over last year but are still winless.

AFC North:

  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Are still the team to beat.
  • Cleveland Browns: Are winless…what? Yes I’m afraid the team is suffering through a sophomore slump.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: Are horrible Marvin Lewis might want to start updating his resume. I wonder how crow tastes because he had to eat it after taking Chris Henry back.

  • Baltimore Ravens: Don’t expect to much them for the remaining of the season.

AFC South

  • Indianapolis Colts: Are in dire need to get the running game going.
  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Are winless…maybe they aren’t as good as everyone thought.
  • Tennessee Titans: Vince is still sulking because Kerry Collins a future Just For Men spokesman is playing just fine.
  • Houston Texans: Have been disrupted by Hurricane Ike so really to early to tell.

AFC West

  • San Diego Chargers: The Bolts are winless and that’s a shocker. Maybe God hates them this year.
  • Denver Broncos: God may hate the Bolts but he loves Jay Cutler.
  • Oakland Raiders: Lane Kiffin might as well pack his “Hang In There” kitten poster up. He’s done there.
  • Kansas City Chiefs: I like Herman Edwards but this is a bad team he might be Oakland’s next coach.

Posted in Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, cleveland browns, Denver Broncos, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, jacksonville jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Matt Leinart, miami dolphins, New England Patriots, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Diego Chargers, Tennessee Titans | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A Closer Look at the Girlfriend of Marcus Vick

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 27, 2008

It seems that “model” girlfriend that was arrested with Marcus Vick isn’t all that and bag of chips. Who would have thunk it?

When Marcus Vick, the brother with lesser importance of Michael Vick, was arrested and charged with being an idiot, driving under the influence and eluding police. His girlfriend Delicia Cordon was charged with being drunk in public and being with an idiot.

Apparently Cordon has been making some rounds with the dolphins. The web site of the Miami-Dade County Clerk’s Office states that Cordon filed a lawsuit against Ronnie Brown, although that suit was dismissed when Cordon failed to show up for a hearing this month.

The web site RipOffReport.com says that Cordon was evicted from a friend’s condo. She didn’t bother paying rent for three months. The monthly rent was $1,500 and the 2 bedroom condo belonged to a NFL player.

“She gave a series of bad checks that the bank could ‘not locate the accounts’. Delicia also provided a number of checks with insufficient funds that could not be collected. Cordon also offered money transfers that never took place and faked Fedex mailings that never arrived. Cordon provided excuse after excuse and ‘will pay you tomorrow’ and ‘feed the poor trip’ stories to justify all the ‘trouble’ with her bad checks and her ‘bad’ situation while living the big life. She said that she was doing some new shoots and will have to money very soon.

In addition the credit report for Delicia Cordon came back with a social security alert. She has been EVICTED before and has a terrible Credit History.

Cordon presented herself as a famous ‘actress/ model’ and presents herself as a very naive and sweet individual always very apologetic.

The eviction came after ‘Final Judgment for Removal of Tenant’ was entered by Judge Darrin P. Gayles on January 27, 2007 in Miami, Florida for non payment of rent. Court Case # 08-1667 cc 34 (01). The judge gave Cordon the final opportunity to pay all the past due rent and she failed to pay the rent to the judge (three months total rent of $4,500). She was then served by the Sheriff and given 24 hour to leave the premises and when she failed to vacate the condo, she was evicted by the Sheriff few days later.”

All of a sudden Christie Prody, OJ’s main squeeze (pun very much intended) looks good doesn’t she? Huh huh huh?

Only in Florida can you find an eclectic bunch of women and moronic athletes.

Posted in Christie Prody, classless, Crime & Punishment, Delicia Cordon, DUI, dumbass, Florida Sucks, marcus vick, miami dolphins | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Fins Sign Jake Long

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 24, 2008

Yes here’s the number 1 pick in the draft.

Posted in miami dolphins, Michigan Wolverines, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Sports | 2 Comments »

YMSWWC’s “Official” NFL Draft Preview Picks 1-5

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 12, 2008

Well I am a little bit depressed because the TV will be polluted with coverage of Roger Clemens v. Brian MacNamee. How many times can one hear a variation of “It Wasn’t Me???” Examples: “I didn’t use steroids. Period.” “I did not have sexual relations with woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” “I didn’t kill my wife and her friend.” “I didn’t try to make it rain in the strip club.” “I am not a crook.” So with that said, let us instead focus on the future, where we can hope that this top rated prospect becomes either the next Dan Fouts or the next Tony Mandarich. This year, I think we might have both. Here are the official (unless Thomas says different) YMSWWC NFL Mock Draft Picks (1-5)

ani_mermaid2.gif Miami Dolphins: These heartbreakers have the distinct pleasure of picking first. Yes the needs are many. There is not a position on the field that they do not need any immediate help. Outside of Jason Taylor, you can pretty much trash the roster. In comes Bill Parcells. He will bring organization to a franchise that still is trying to recover from “Saban Nation”. I have heard that a certain billionaire wildcatter who is an Arkansas alum may be trying to trade up with a certain coach turned GM that used to sign that GM’s checks, and that would make sense. Dolphins could use 2 first round picks, but I don’t see that happening. With that said, they will take long hard look at Glenn Dorsey, Jake Long, and Chris Long. So the pick will be: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.

a_sosheep_0205.jpgSt. Louis Rams-Yet another team that went through a hard season. These aren’t your 1999-2002 Rams anymore. They are more like the 1989-1998 Rams. Age, injuries, bad free agent signings have turned these rams into sheep (Quick Longhorn/Aggie joke: How do you know when you are getting close to AggieLand? When you start seeing the sheep back up to the fence). Defense is more of a need than offense at this point. Pick: Chris Long, DE, Virginia.

images.jpeg Atlanta Falcons-Wow. Holy weed smoking, dog fighting, carpet bagging, GM and Coach rejection Batman. What in the world is going on in the ATL??? Well this is actually an easy pick, just because they have one big black hole where the QB spot is (not the black hole that is being pounded in Leavenworth). I think this will be a bad pick, but somebody’s gotta overpay for an All-American QB, so it might as well be Arthur Blank. Pick: Matt Ryan (Leaf), QB, Boston College

soul-hc-c.jpg Kansas City Chiefs-Offensive Line, Offensive Line, Offensive Line. Yes, they need a QB and another WR, but what good is all of that if you have a revolving door for an offensive line??? It’s hard to think that the O-Line was just a few years ago spectacular. Even though I love Ryan Clady from Boise St., that makes too much sense, and the overlord team President known as Carl Petersen doesn’t make decisions that make sense. So: Jake Long, OT, Michigan

chibi-jack-sparrow-by-evilchibiminion.jpg Oakland Raiders-These are some of the most dedicated fans that I have seen, and yet, some of the scariest. I had a couple of friends that went to Whatevertheycallit Coliseum to see Oakland and the Titans play. They figured a nice trip to the Bay Area would be great. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good trip. One word of advice: If making the trip to see a Raiders game, do NOT wear the other team’s colors unless your name is Kimbo Slice or you love the aroma of beer, weed, and middle aged biker chicks. Of course, this is Uncle Al’s team, and he LOVES offense. Guess who this pick will be??? Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Picks 6-10 will be coming soon…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, bad calls, bad newz kennels, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Boise State, bongs, boo birds, boosters, boston college, cheaters, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, Discipline, dog fighting, draft pick, drugs, dumbass, ESPN, Feds, fired, football, Football Poll, gambling, Georgia, Goodell, Hip Hop, ho, Internet Rumors, Jerry Jones, killer, legal troubles, LSU Tigers, Marijuana, mary jane, miami dolphins, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Nick Saban, notre dame sucks, OJ, OJ Simpson, Pac 10, Pacman, Pacman Jones, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, Ricky Williams, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, secrets, Sports, steroids, stupid, The Big East, Vick, Vick Plea, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Rachelle Washington Is Clearly A Dolphins Fan

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 18, 2008

I’m sure everyone knows about the temporary restraining order was issued Monday against Randy Moss. The (alleged) victim is Rachelle Washington who claims Moss committed “battery causing serious injury” to her at her Florida home on Jan. 6, as well as refused to allow her to seek medical treatment. Moss claims they have been friends for 11 years and that she asked for “six figures” for what he said was an accident in which she was hurt.

Moss has been quick to deny the allegations and the New England Patriots have been quick to defend Moss. Granted I’ll give Moss credit, he’s a great athlete and he’s kept his nose clean this season both on and off the field. Here’s what Moss said of the situation.

“I want to make something clear, in my whole entire life of living 30 years, I’ve never put my hand on one woman, physically or in an angry manner.”

“This is a negative,” he said of the latest allegation, “a black cloud hanging over my head, and that’s something that I did not want coming into the season. … Everything I tried to do from getting here early, to make sure I eat the right food, all the way to practicing and playing, I wanted all of that to be A-plus.

“Everything’s been positive, so why would I bring something negative on. As much as I care and love the game of football and love my teammates, I would never put myself or them in a situation of something like this.”

Just one problem with those statements, he bumped a female traffic control officer with his car in 2002. Technically that isn’t laying a hand on a woman, instead he used his Lexus.

Let’s not forget Moss’s other past “mistakes”.

With the Vikings, he was criticized by quarterback Daunte Culpepper and others for leaving the field with 2 seconds left in a regular-season loss to Washington.

He verbally abused corporate sponsors on a team bus in 2001 and squirted an official with a water bottle in 1999. And who can for the infamous “mooning” incident.

So it’s clear that in the past Moss has placed himself in situation that hurt his teammates.

Yesterday the (alleged) victim Rachelle Washington spoke out and basically said “Yo, don’t be disrespecting Rachelle Washington!”

A statement from her attorney, David McGill, says “she refuses to be further disrespected by him.”

“Ms. Washington has been unfairly characterized as someone simply seeking financial gain. In fact, it was Mr. Moss’ representatives who first contacted our office to offer a ‘six figure’ settlement with hopes of not having this incident become public record,” the statement reads.

“It has never been her intention to hurt Mr. Moss in any way. However, she has suffered mental and physical harm as a result of his actions. She simply wants him to take responsibility for what he has done. As a battery victim, she has shown great strength throughout this entire ordeal,” the statement reads.

“We have heard Mr. Moss’ statement regarding the incident. He has acknowledged that he was at Ms. Washington‘s Florida residence and that he was ‘guilty’ of an ‘accident’ which occurred.

“However, Mr. Moss fails to mention how his reckless and degrading conduct rendered Ms. Washington unable to drive her vehicle to seek medical attention. As the evidence will show, there is serious doubt that Mr. Moss is capable of recalling with clarity the exact details of what transpired that evening. As Mr. Moss has previously stated, “Do your homework and check his resume,” the statement reads.

A hearing to on whether to issue a permanent restraining order is set for Jan. 28, just six days before the super bowl. Notice no criminal charges have been filed. I find that very important. It’s obvious to me that alleged victim is a disgruntled Dolphins fan (can you blame them look at their season) and this was probably concocted by Don Shula.

I’m not sure who to believe at this point. I just hope it’s on Court TV, but I’m willing to bet former Dolphin players will be in attendance.

Posted in Bill Belichick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, miami dolphins, New England Patriots, Randy Moss | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Houston…Heartache Lives Here

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 16, 2007

How does one deal with heartache, when you have been betrayed time and time again??? You pour your heart and soul into something, and the hope, anticipation, and trust is all swept away in one fleeting moment. Reality, pain, heartache, anger, and then ultimately sadness sets in. I am sooooooooo emo right now I just do not know what to do but to to pour my heart into this post, so please forgive me for just a minute or two. Damn I never thought I would write these 4 words…..

The Dolphins won today. Final score, Miami 22-Baltimore 16. The game went into overtime, with Greg Camarillo scoring the winning touchdown on a slant from QB Cleo Lemon. Baltimore had a chance in overtime to win, but kicker Matt freakin Stover missed a field goal wide left.

So now, I sit here a broken man, for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that for the first and definitely last time, I was cheering for the Baltimore Ravens, and in particular their piss ant coach, Brian f’n Billick. He is an overrated head coach who got a coaching gig based on Dennis Green’s play calling in Minnesota and who is the most self-centered, arrogant, lilly livered coach in the NFL. If I ever meet him, I will personally tell him this, although he won’t care because he’s a complete, 100%, pure and unadulterated a**hole. As a Titans fan, I detest the Ravens and their band of merry misfits, complete with crybabies, murderers (allegedly), thugs, Jeff Tedford coached QB’s, a Bammer GM, and just riff raff in general.

But of course, the other reason is that I had jumped on the Dolphins bandwagon. This season was the “Perfect Storm”, with an aging defense, injuries, confusion all around, first year head coach, an owner trying to sell, and loud mouth linebackers. This was the year that the Dolphins could have ran the table, in reverse. They had the opportunity to be the worst team ever. They could have been remembered throughout the pages of sports team crappiness. Most of all, they would have fulfilled my fantasy of having an NFL team to go 0-16.

Damn them. Damn them all. I hate the Dolphins!!! I don’t know how much more heartache I can take. Every once in a while, teams like the Lions, Bucs, Texans, and Browns tempt me. They tempt me like that stripper that sits in your lap, tell you how cute you are, runs their hand in your hair, all in the hopes of getting you to pay for a lapdance. When you do pay her the money, you realize that 2 minutes are gone, you’re out $20, and the only thing that you have gained is the smell of female sweat and Bath & Body Works mixed with your Axe body spray. Well, the Dolphins were that stripper today. I will now name them Dakota, Jasmine, Cinnamon, Alize, or something dumb like that. Today, I have come to the “End of the Road”…….

Posted in football, miami dolphins, NFL, NFL Football, Sports | 3 Comments »

3 More Losses

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 10, 2007

Ah yes, my, and should be your, favorite NFL team, the Miami Dolphins lost another nail biter yesterday to the Buffalo Bills, 38-17. In typical Dolphin fashion, they were down out of the gate quickly, 24-7 at the end of the first quarter. Yes, just when you thought this season would turn around, the Bills lit them up for 24 1st quarter points. Poor tackling by the veteran filled defense, combined with horrible special teams play and an offense that couldn’t move an end table, and you have the recipe for the Dolphins 13th loss of the year.

Leave it for Bills second year safety Donte Whitner for perspective. After the game, he relayed a short conversation he had with Dolphins rookie RB Lorenzo Booker. “I was talking to Booker out there, and he was saying ‘Man, I don’t know what it feels like to win in this league yet.’ And I said. ‘You know, don’t stress over it. Things are going to get better.” You know Mr. Whitner, things are not gonna get any better.

Earlier this week, HOF QB and lifelong Dolphin Dan Marino tried to stick with his team and provide comfort for the fractured Dolphin fanbase. Among other things, he said, “You have to be patient when it gets like this. You always need hope. You’re fighting for something positive to come out of a really bad year. What you look for is a sign of hope that the future will get better. Hey, the only way they can go is up.”

Maybe Dan has been either drinking mojitos or eating way too many conch fritters down in Miami, but things are not getting any better anytime soon. At least me, now a Dolphin fan thanks to this year, take interest in this piss poor team. I could have cared less about the Dolphins this year, and I’ve only had one friend (Edmund) that did care about them during the good times. Now, he still believes they will be ok, but I am a fan who is a realist, and reality dictates that I root for the Dolphins to finish what they have started and lose the rest of the games. Why win now, when they can go down in history??? Winning would do nothing, since they have pretty much sealed the #1 pick in the draft in April. They might as well lose out the rest of the way, and I will cheer them on, through every muffed punt, every incomplete pass, every missed tackle, and every bad play call.

Up next, the Baltimore Ravens. This game really scares me. The Ravens had a heartbreaking last minute loss to the Patriots last week and were blown out yesterday by the Colts. Hopefully, Ray Lewis can really “carve up” the Dolphins and “slice his way” through the Miami offense (allegedly). At this point, the Ravens are playing for pride, and hopefully they will show up for this game. Well, here’s a youtube clip of former “Miami Vice” star Don Johnson singing his “hit” Heartbeat. This crappy video and song were released during the “Miami Vice” heyday, you know, when pants were rolled up with loafers and no socks. Ironic, because while Johnson is “Looking for a heartbeat”, so are the Dolphins, who are also just as crappy..

.

Posted in draft pick, football, miami dolphins, NFL, NFL Football | 4 Comments »

4 Away From Perfection

Posted by Joel Jackson on December 4, 2007

What, did you think I am talking about the New England Patriots??? I don’t really give a damn about them. I am talking about the Miami Dolphins. Let me re-phrase that…MY Miami Dolphins. I am now a Dolphan or Dolfan or whatever the hell they call themselves. Make room on the bandwagon, good ol’ Joel is hoping aboard, bringing bottles of Boone’s Farm with him (I won’t waste money on the good stuff for this team). I spoke about my dream earlier, and we are 4 losses away from fulfillment.So Sunday, they absolutely quit losing to the New York Jets, who were wearing throwback Titans unis, but from the looks of them clemens-81.jpg, they look more like the Winnipeg Blue Bombers bgcharles.jpg. Final score, 40-13, but it wasn’t even that close.Will they win another game??? Well up next is Buffalo at Ralph Wilson Stadium, and as Bald Berman says, “Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills”. My heart will be torn however. Can a man love two women??? Well, this isn’t that kind of blog to answer that question, but I will root both for the Bills and Dolphins. The Dolphins to lose, and keep my dream alive, and for the Bills not to have too many injuries, so they can defeat the Dolphins.Dissention has now set in. Veteran Dolphin Keith Traylor, who has won rings with both the Denver Broncos and New England Patriots, said when asked if this was the worst team that he has ever been on, he said “This one. I got three Super Bowls. I missed the playoffs five times in my career. This is by far the worst.” Now that’s the spirit big guy. Let that mentality spread throughout the team like fire ants to a melted Klondike bar on the sidewalk.I have just placed an order for one of those Dolphins Christmas stockings. I will hang it above my fireplace and get my named stitched on it. My hope is that by the time that it gets here, I can fill it with the tears of despair and broken hearts of the false Dolphin fans. I am a converted real fan, and I want to see this team make history. I will cheer every fumble, missed tackle, interception, and lack of effort that I can. Come on Dolphins, SHOW ME YOUR DORSAL FINS!!!!!!!img61114_t.jpg

Posted in boo birds, Canada Football, football, miami dolphins, New York Jets, NFL, NFL Football, Sports | Leave a Comment »