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Archive for the ‘MLBPA’ Category

Yankees vs. Major League Soccer

Posted by Joel Jackson on April 27, 2009


The New York Yankees. One of sports money franchises. Someone once told me the Steinbrenner family has one of those money bins like Scrooge McDuck, where the family swims in gold doubloons from the $20 cups of beer. They have built a billion dollar palace to play in, and my friend John has told me that the stadium is the nicest stadium he has ever been in, no matter the sport. He should know, because he has covered the past 3 Olympic games and has been to events I could ever dream of going. The stadium has been a virtual launching pad for home runs and the fans are certainly entertained by the barrage of offense. At least, the ones that can afford the expensive seats.

Don Garber, commissioner of Major League Soccer, took notice of the empty seats. He noted, in the context of a down economy, that the Yankees were having trouble filling those $2K per game seats. Of course, one would read that commissioner of MLS is willing to go down a path of futility when discussing someone’s lack of attendance. Even Donna Orender, president of the WNBA, dare not travel down this road.

Enter Randy Levine. Levine is the president of the New York Yankees. He also took notice of the coments that Garber said. Here is his response:

“Don Garber discussing Yankee attendance must be a joke,” Levine said Friday. “We draw more people in a year than his entire league does in a year. If he ever gets Major League Soccer into the same time zone as the Yankees, we might take him seriously.
“Hey Don, worry about Beckham, not the Yankees. Even he wants out of your league.”

Game. Set. Match. Levine. I am not a Yankees fan, but Levine just ripped this guy a new one. For starters, the Yankees do draw more people in a year than his entire league. They definitely have more revenue generated. I mean, I haven’t seen Kansas City Wiz caskets or Columbus Crew Tiffany style lamps. Also, Beckham is trying to take his MLS cash and play overseas. I still don’t even know how MLS is still even in existence.

Levine has been a controversial figure for the Yankees. He has been painted as the guy to blame for Joe Torre no longer being the manager of the team, he has been known as a tough negotiator within baseball, and has managed to amass great power throughout the organization. I think he was channeling his inner Steinbrenner. Of course, he should have tapped into his inner Theo Epstein and gotten the team some ground ball pitchers, or pitchers that can at least throw consistent strikes.

Posted in David Beckham, Major League Baseball, MLB, MLBPA, new york yankees | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Why Thank You CBS

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 19, 2009

The above screen shot of CBS Sport’s website pretty much sums all I have to say about that A-Roid press conference. And they say there’s no longer truth in advertising.

Posted in A-Roid, Alex Rodriguez, Major League Baseball, MLB, MLBPA, new york yankees | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Houston Astros: Marketing Geniuses

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 16, 2009


Living in Houston is a different experience from growing up in Memphis. For one thing, Houston is fortunate to have 3 sucky major league sports teams. Growing up in Memphis, there was the then Memphis State Tigers and the Double A Memphis Chicks. Big difference.

One of the things that amazes are the “big league” marketing campaigns that the teams come up with. When I first moved here in 2003, I was expecting glossy, complex slogans that would stick with me and make me wanna shell out $20 for parking, $5 for Cokes, $7 for Cokes in a souvenir cup, $8 for nachos, plus the price of tickets. I would use these marketing campaigns to justify spending $100 in one night. I mean, I could look at that souvenir cup that will fade after the first waash and say to myself, “The memory of spending $7 for a cup & drink that cost the team 30 cents to produce was worth it because I saw The Good Guys play”.

Piss on that. Apparently, the Houston Astros, a Major League Baseball franchise, has released its marketing campaign for the 2009 season. The slogan: Did You Miss Us? Seriously, a team that missed on the playoffs again and features one major league starting pitcher in its rotation tries to get its fanbase fired up, not by signing more starting pitching or bullpen help or by getting a catcher that isn’t scared to swing the bat, but by asking its fans Did You Miss Us? Thank God I am a Braves fan. To their credit, they could always get minor league coach and former Memphis Redbird fan favorite Stubby Clapp to be a coach for the big team. Imagine a bunch of Astros female fans holding signs saying “We Got Clapp” or “I Like my Manager Stubby”.

So after listening a little bit to 1560 The Game, I decided to come up with some slogans that the Astros can use for this year:

*Astros: We Sorry…


*Our Locker Room No Longer Says Whites Only!!!

*Bagwell’s Wife Is No Longer Here! The Kids Are Safe From Botox Monster!


*$10 For A Beer & Minute Maid Park Has No Champagne Room (Yet)

*Got Pitching??? Seriously, We’re Asking.

*Season Tickets Are A Great Stimulus Package.

*Who Needs A Minor League System?

*Going On 2 Years Since We Had A Failed Marriage Proposal

*Who Said Our Mascot Looks Like The Nestle Quik Bunny?


*Tracy “She-Mac” McGrady Doesn’t Play Here.

*Let’s Try To Have More Fans Of The Home Team & Not The Visitors This Year. Damn Transplants.

Posted in Houston Astros, Major League Baseball, Mitchell Report, MLB, MLBPA | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Barry, Take A Deal

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 5, 2009


Barry Lamar Bonds, baseball’s home run king*, is screwed. According to court documents, U.S. Attorneys have everything from positive tests for steroids to phone conversations by his equally genetically jacked up trainer Greg Anderson.

So the documents are available to the public, and as a warning, they are lengthy. Judge Susan Ilston is expected to rule on a defense motion to suppress evidence, such as the urine samples, or allow the evidence to stay when the case goes to trial next month. But in the court of public opinion, he is guilty.

But the rabbit hole goes deeper than just a few positive piss tests. Barroid also took clomid, which is a common masking agent for athletes using steroids. What is clomid you might ask??? Clomid is a female fertility drug, used to induce ovulation. Side effects (I love this part) include ovarian enlargement, breast discomfort, abnormal uterine bleeding, and multiple births. Translation: If you see this guy scratching his tit and his mid-section is bloody, we know why. I don’t even wanna know where those multiple births are gonna come out of.


One of the steroids that he is accused of using is nandrolone, a common steroid. It is so common that some of the people who have failed steroid tests include C.J. Hunter (one of Marion Jones former lovers), Roger Clemens (another dumbass), UFC great Royce Gracie, Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, and Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle, formerly of the WWE and now currently in TNA Wrestling.

Of course there is the expected testimony of former players that either played with Bonds or were also caught up in the whole BALCO scandal from the beginning. Also, there could also be the possible testimony of Kimberly Bell, former girlfriend (side action, one in the chamber, jump off, chick on the side, ace in the hole) of Bonds. She has said in the past that Bonds talked about his use of steroids, including seeing him inject himself. Oh, for you 3 pervs reading this, she posed for Playboy. You can see the censored pics here. In that Playboy article, she also talked about his inability to “get it up”. I guess Clomid & Cialis doesn’t mix well. Too bad, because I would like to see Barry throw a football through a tire like the commercial.


I know that he is proud. It is that pride that got him in this mess. It is pure vanity that caused him to stick that syringe in his ass. He was a great player before all of this. Pride got the best of him. He better take a deal now, because he has been out of the hood too long. Once he gets behind bars, one drop of the soap and he will get his first prison style prostate exam…

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Barry Bonds, baseball, Major League Baseball, Mitchell Report, MLB, MLBPA, MMA, UFC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The MLB Players’ Association are Either Complete Idiots or Awesome Wasters of Time

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 7, 2008

It’s been long said that the MLB Players’ Association have been a major source of baseballs woes. Now they have the audacity to open an investigation into their own free agency practices that Congress would be rather embarrassed to open. Of course the MLBPA actually sent out a memo telling players not to cooperate with the Mitchell investigation.

Page 1 of the memo

Page 2 of the memo

The MLBPA has been investigating for several weeks what has taken place in free agency, in relation to Barroid Bonds, Kenny “Still No Ring” Lofton and other players who have gone unsigned.

LBPA general counsel Michael Weiner, when asked if they were near a resolution, said:

“I really don’t know. We’re still waiting for some information.”

If the MLBPA determines that there is something untoward, it could file a grievance on the issue of collusion at the end of the investigation.

So basically they want to know why Bonds hasn’t been signed yet. Let me help them out I might have an answer.

  • Steroids
  • Age
  • He can’t play the field anymore because of his knees
  • He’s an asshole in the clubhouse and to media
  • Hitler has a higher approval rating
  • His feet smell (Dusty Baker is the one making that claim)

“The union notified us that it was investigating potential collusion regarding Barry Bonds and asked for information, and we told them that there was absolutely no collusion with respect to Barry Bonds or any other free agent,” said Dan Halem, MLB senior vice president and general labor counsel. “We are aware of no facts which would support a collusion claim regarding Bonds or any other free agents.”

Jeff Borris, the agent for Bonds, said:

“No team has made me an offer for any amount at any time since Barry became a free agent. Barry continues to work out,” but when asked about his client’s prospects for this season, he said, “I’m not optimistic that he will be in a major league uniform in 2008.”

Well thank God for that Borris.

Barry Bonds & Lofton aren’t the only big-name players that haven’t gotten a major league contract this season. Here are some others:

  • Roger Clemens
  • Jose Mesa
  • Mike Piazza
  • Sammy Sosa
  • David Wells

Does anyone notice anything similar about all these players? Here’s a hint: they’re all old and/or aging. Did anyone think that maybe, just maybe, teams would rather give the 23 year old kid with upside a shot, instead of the 40+ one-and-done guy? No? Really?

Bonds is a distraction, therefore, no one wants him. Lofton though, I think he’s well past his prime but can make a decent 4th outfielder for a team. Even then, I think he needs to retire and he should be a shoo-in for the HOF.

If a GM doesn’t want a free-agent player on the team because of the negative PR that will result, how is that possibly collusion?

Posted in Barry Bonds, MLB, MLBPA, steroids, stupid | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »